The Man Cave Collection: Manservant, Man Flu, Man Handler, and Man Buns

by Ryan, Shari J.

  “Finders keepers.” She shrugs.

  “Scarlett!”

  “I’m kidding, loser.”

  “I wouldn’t put it past you, pig hater.”

  “I don’t hate pigs in general, just Betsy Blue.”

  “That’s racist.”

  Scarlett throws the frisbee right into my chest and now I have a hundred-and-fifty-pound Lab galloping toward me. “Waldo, no. No, boy. Waldo!” She’s giggling and I’m on my butt getting my face licked by my favorite butt licker.

  “You’re a jerk,” I tell her.

  “No, I’m not. I’m like the nicest person in the world.”

  “In what world?”

  “My world,” she answers.

  “That’s what I figured.”

  “I really did make breakfast,” she says, walking past me and into the house.

  I follow her inside and find that she was being truthful. There’s a stack of pancakes and bacon. She winks at me when I spot the bacon. “How much of Betsy’s butt would you like to eat?”

  “Too much,” I tell her.

  “There’s no such thing as too much bacon.”

  “Will you shush?” I ask her.

  She hands me a mug of coffee. “Drink this, you’ll feel better.” Coffee does cheer me up.

  Scarlett jumps up on the counter and dangles her legs, waiting for me to perk up. I have to say, I appreciate a girl with patience in the morning, even if she likes to press my buttons. I press hers right back, though.

  After a few warm mouthfuls of coffee, I place my mug down and make my way over to Scarlett and her up-to-no-good smile. “What’s going through that head of yours right now?”

  She raises her brows. “Why whatever do you mean, Mr. Austin?”

  “Cute accent.”

  I loop my arms around her neck, feeling her hands run up and down my bare chest. “Cute body,” she says.

  “Cute?” I question her.

  “Smokin’. Is that better?” she asks.

  “Yes.”

  “You know what else is smokin’?”

  I clear my throat, knowing she won’t drop the jokes until I stop responding to them. “What are you really up to? You’re in quite the mood this morning,” I tell her.

  “I set my mom up with someone.”

  I don’t know why the thought of this makes me nervous, but it does. Everyone knows everyone here, and you never know when matchmaking can quickly go south. “Who?”

  “Jack.”

  I curl my lip. “No. That’s not funny. That’s gross. He’s our age.”

  “I can’t control what happens, Austin.”

  “Does he know you set them up?”

  “Um, yes, he was there.”

  “When? When were you at Dickles?”

  “Last night before you got off work.”

  “You were at Dickles on what’s now called ‘Blow-Job Shot Thursdays’ with your mother?”

  “She’s really found herself this last month. You know what happens when you’ve been locked up for thirty years and suddenly, you’re free to live life?”

  “I’m grossed out right now, Scarlett.”

  “Austin, have an open mind.”

  “He’s my best friend, and she’s your mom.”

  “It’s kind of perfect,” she says.

  “Who initiated this?” I ask her.

  Scarlett purses her lips together and pulls her hair off her shoulders. “Jack asked my mother to have dinner.”

  I have to give Scarlett credit for helping her mom transform into a completely different person this past month. Casting off the burden of constant abuse has erased the look of worry on her face and brought a light to her eyes that wasn’t there when I first met her. For someone who has been someone’s property for most of her life, she’s been more than willing to change a few things, including her wardrobe, hairstyle, and spiced up her cosmetic routine. She looks like a completely different woman from when she arrived her, possibly ten to fifteen years younger, and more like a seasoned version of Scarlett. She fits in well down here and you’d swear she was at Disney World for adults the way she walks around smiling at everyone.

  “Whatever floats his boat, I guess.”

  “My mom’s a catch,” she says.

  “She is,” I agree.

  “Oh, you think so?” she continues.

  I kiss her to stop the words. When I pull away, I raise my brow. “I can kiss you all day if you can’t stop your mouth.”

  “Has it occurred to you that I know exactly how to get what I want from you?” she says with a smirk.

  “Yes, Scarlett. It has occurred to me, but you know, all you have to do is ask.”

  “That’s too easy,” she says. She jumps onto me, hooking her arms and legs around me. Her lips are on my neck and she’s pecking kisses up and down the side of my neck until her teeth sink into my ear. “See, I don’t have to ask.”

  I carry her down to my bedroom and toss her onto the bed. “Save some energy because it’s supposed to rain later.”

  “My energy for you—these moments—is endless,” she tells me.

  “How can that mouth drive me so far up a wall, and yet turn me on with little to no effort?”

  “It’s a talent,” she says.

  I drop my flannel pants to the floor and pull the sheets over us as I remove her top and shorts. She scoots onto of me and unrolls a condom onto my cock before mounting me. Her hair dangles over her breasts as she holds onto my chest like she’s ready to ride a bull. She starts slow, thinking she’s torturing me like I’m able to torture her, but things quickly get out control like they seem to do most days with us. Thankfully, my neighbor is far enough away she can’t hear the howls coming from my window because Scarlett is loud and not shy about vocally expressing her feelings of pleasure. “Is that good?” she asks.

  “Don’t stop,” I tell her. “That’s really good.” I’m a lucky bastard, getting to watch her go through the motions of erotic pleasure as she offers me the same. I grab ahold of her waist, guiding her movements until she opens her eyes and buries her mouth under my ear, sucking, nipping, and dragging her teeth down the side of my neck. “Christ, Scarlett. I need more of you.”

  I try to give her as much control as I can, but I need to take over and we have that understanding down, so I twist her off me and onto her back. I thrust into her and place my hand behind her head, knowing where we usually end up. She’s holding onto the rails of my headboard as I continue with the force I know she can handle. “Harder,” she cries out. It’s like a challenge, but I give her everything I can. “Yes, right there. More. More, Austin. I need more.” I swear, every time I have her in bed, it feels like I’m running the best fucking marathon of my life. “Yes, yes, yes!”

  “Should I stop?” I tease her.

  “Don’t you fucking dare,” she yells.

  “What about now?”

  “Austin Trace, do me, now!”

  Her back arches up, and her breasts are in my face, smelling of perfume and vanilla lotion. It’s all it takes to finish me off. Her body convulses around mine, and I collapse on top of her, dripping with sweat and out of breath. “You made it rain,” she says.

  I close my eyes and laugh as I smother my face in her silky hair.

  After a minute of stillness, I hear a deep breath. “Want to go out for dinner after work tonight?”

  “I can’t take you into public,” I tell her.

  “Sure you can.”

  “Will you behave yourself?” I ask her.

  “No,” she says with a smirk.

  “Fine. Dinner at eight? Sherman’s?”

  “I’ll be there,” she says.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Scarlett

  “Hi honey, how was work?” I approach Austin who’s standing in front of Sherman’s Grill.

  “Honey? Are we there already?”

  “I thought I would try it on to see if it fits.”

  “Does it?”

  “No, I
prefer, loser, or jackass.”

  “Yeah, I was gonna say, it doesn’t fit your tone of voice either,” he adds in.

  I shrug. “Oh well, let’s go, loser.”

  “Okay, bruiser.”

  We walk into the restaurant and find it fairly empty. Then again, it’s eight at night and most people are in bed at this time here. “Do people really go to bed this early?”

  “I guess. I’m not sure what people are doing behind closed doors, but since I’d rather they not know what we’re doing, I suspect it’s about the same, at least for some.”

  “You think everyone is having hot rabid animal sex every single night?”

  “Rabid animal sex?” he asks. “What in the hell is wrong with you, crazy?”

  “You’re asking me what’s wrong with me?”

  “Yeah, I think I am.”

  “It took you this long to ask?”

  “Two please,” Austin interrupts our important conversation to ask the hostess for a table.

  She takes two menus and leads us to the back of the restaurant. I kind of like it here. It’s casual, but a little upscale. There are white lights hanging from the barn ceiling, but the tables are draped with white tablecloth. It’s a good date-night spot.

  “What’s with the big purse tonight?” Austin asks as we settle down at a table.

  “It went with my outfit. I don’t know.”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen that purse.”

  “I have a lot of purses you haven’t seen, Austin.”

  Austin opens his menu, covering his face. I almost start laughing, but I contain myself. He’s going to kill me, but he’ll thank me later, I think. I reach into my purse and grab what I need.

  “I’m getting the T-Bone,” he says.

  “I’ll get that too,” I tell him. “I like my steak thick and juicy.”

  “Can I seriously not take you anywhere?”

  “What? I like a big, thick, juicy steak. I don’t see why that’s embarrassing?”

  He closes his eyes and folds his hands. “Oh, Austin, Austin, Austin. You need to get used to me.”

  “Okay, why are you acting extra annoying and weird tonight?”

  “That’s just rude,” I tell him. “You know what? I have to go—powder my nose. Is that what I’m supposed to say?”

  He looks up at the ceiling, trying not to laugh. “Oh, darn it, I dropped my phone.” I tap my foot on the ground, but realize I tapped my foot after I announced that I had dropped my phone. That was dumb.

  “Huh?”

  I look around and see no one is looking this way so I take my chance and climb under the table, completely concealing myself with the white tablecloth.

  Austin’s hands are resting perfectly on his lap already, so I clasp, clasp—he’s cuffed. “What the—”

  “Shh,” I whisper.

  “Scarlett, get up here.”

  “Shh,” I tell him again.

  “You gotta be shittin’ me right now.”

  “You look like you’re talking to yourself. Shut up and enjoy the entertainment.”

  “What entertainment?” he says through gritted teeth. “You know how you said to let you know if you’ve crossed a line? It’s like you’re a professional pole vaulter tonight.”

  “Pole vaulter, huh? You’ll take that back,” I whisper.

  “Scarlett, come on.”

  I unzip his jeans, reach in and release his cock from the seam of his boxer briefs. I try not to waste too much time so I get to it, leaning over his clasped hands to his erect cock. I wrap my hand around the base so he doesn’t get scratched by his zipper, and start off slow.

  I see the tablecloth move a bit, but his hands are cuffed, so he must be leaning forward. I reach into my bag that I pulled under the table and grab an Altoid. I was saving this trick for a special occasion. I remove my mouth for a quick second and pop the mint onto my tongue, chewing it up quickly before rewrapping my lips around his cock. I exhale gently as I move up and down, feeling his legs jerk around as if he’s out of control. I’d do anything to see the look on his face right now. “Can I take your order, or would you like me to wait for your wife to return?” Wife? Geez, lady. Way to go with assumptions. I keep moving up and down, sliding my tongue in the way he likes. “Uh, we’ll—I uh—uhh—mmm—I’ll wait.”

  “Oookay,” the waitress says.

  “Sc-ar-lett,” he mutters. I keep going, making deeper motions until his cock hits the back of my throat. “Hi!” I hear with a squeaky voice.

  “Oh, hi, Austin, where’s Scarlett tonight?”

  Mom? Oh shit. I pause. Pausing doesn’t amount to good things.

  “She’s—uh—in the bathroom, I think. Yup,” Austin says quickly.

  “Whatup, bro,” I hear Jack say from a distance.

  Austin is quiet again. “I’m going to go find Scarlett in the bathroom,” Mom says.

  I continue what I was doing to avoid any discomfort on his end, moving faster, with deeper strokes. I grab another mint with my free hand and toss it into my mouth, chewing it once and nearly swallowing it whole. I go in for the last round of light breezes, a pull, suck, and that’s all it takes for Austin’s warmth to be dripping down the back of my throat. The hint of mint really adds something special to my appetizer. Bad idea.

  I reach up and grab a napkin, finding it on the first try. “Is um, everything okay under there?” The waitress asks.

  “Yes, she’s just fixing her shoe, I think,” Austin says.

  “Um, oh, okay. I’ll just be back in another minute, then,” she says, sounding suspicious.

  “You know what? We’re both going to have the T-bone with mashed potatoes and slaw. Cook them both medium, please. Oh, and two of your drink specials.”

  “The Sex on the Beach?” she asks, and I stifle a small giggle.

  “Yup. That. Thanks.”

  “I’ll be right back with your drinks,” she says.

  I clean up my mouth and tuck Austin’s cock back into his pants. Just after zipping his pants up, I reach into my purse for the keys to the handcuffs and pull them out. I stick them in to the keyhole and twist.

  It’s not twisting.

  “Scarlett?” Austin whispers in a hushed yell.

  “Yeah?”

  “What is going on?”

  “You’re welcome,” I say, sounded a bit disgruntled as I try to dislodge the key.

  “I think I grabbed the wrong keys,” I say out loud and to myself. Crap. Crap. Crap. This just went from what I thought would be the hottest experience ever, to the scenario of a breakup scene.

  “What?” he hisses.

  “I’m really sorry.”

  “You have two sets of handcuff keys?”

  “One set is fluffy pink, and the other is this ... ”

  I climb out from under the table just in time to find Mom walking around the corner. “Scarlett, what are you doing under there?”

  “Mom? What are you doing here?” I ask her.

  “I’m having dinner with Jack,” she says with a wink as if it wasn’t already obvious.

  “Ah, well, don’t let us keep you.”

  “Nonsense, why don’t we eat together?”

  “No, no, no, we were just leaving.”

  “It doesn’t look like you ate anything,” she says.

  “I’m not feeling well,” I reply.

  Jack has been watching this whole event unfold, and he’s quietly laughing so hard from two tables away that I think I see tears rolling down his cheeks.

  “Whelp, this is embarrassing.”

  “Have you done this before?” Austin asks.

  “No, why?”

  “It was obvious,” he says.

  “I was trying to spice things up,” I tell him.

  “Scarlett ... the wolves from the mountains fifty miles away, think they have competition with the way you sound at night. Do you really think you need to spice things up?”

  I smile because that’s cool. “I’m really sorry about the k
ey. Do you want me to—”

  “What? Drive to the hotel to get them?” he snaps with frustration. I can’t say I blame him for his anger, but it wasn’t intentional.

  “No, they’re at your house,” I think.

  “Oh good. The answer is still no,” he huffs.

  “Miss,” I say as the waitress walks by. “Could I ask you a favor?”

  Without letting me get another word out, Austin interrupts me. “My wife here, she’s got really bad morning sickness, and it lasts all day for some reason. She’s about to lose her lunch momentarily. Could you rush our order and pack it up in a doggy bag?” The only thing I’m thankful for at the moment is Austin’s volume control. God help us all if Mom heard what he just said. In any case, I deserve that.

  “Oh, goodness gracious! I’ll do that right away, you poor thing. You certainly are glowing though.” The waitress leans over to me and cups her hand around my ear. “Honey, your breasts are seriously amazing. Gotta love what pregnancy does to a woman. Am I right? So jealous!”

  “Ha, yeah, right?” I reply.

  “You’re in so much trouble right now,” Austin says.

  All I can do is smile because this wasn’t what I planned. “Don’t be mad. I really didn’t mean to mess this up.”

  “I’m not mad,” he says before clearing his throat.

  “Yes, you are.”

  “Scarlett. Your mother is here with Jack. You were under the table giving me a blowjob with curiously strong mints, might I add. Oh, and you handcuffed me, and lost the key! I’m just glad you didn’t handcuff me to the goddamn table.”

  “Yes, but none of that except the handcuffed blowjob was planned. How was I supposed to know my mom would be here tonight?”

  “Here you go, guys. I hope you’re able to keep this down tonight. Feel better,” the waitress says, handing me the bag.

  “You’re so sweet. Thank you.”

  “Scarlett, you need to go distract your mother so I can get the hell out of here without anyone seeing my hands in cuffs.”

  “Got it. I’m on it,” I tell him.

  “Let me have your sweater,” he says.

  With a bit of confusion as to why he would make such an odd request at a time like this, I remove the thin layer I was wearing as an accessory to my outfit, and hand it to him. When he doesn’t reach for it, I realize why he wants it. “Oh.” I drape it over his hands. “There, now no one will see.” I smile and pat his hands before rushing over toward Mom and Jack’s table. I lean over Mom’s shoulder and whisper, “My stomach isn’t feeling too well, so I think we’re going to take off.”