“She comes with the territory of owning the title of a single dad.”
“I should have locked your door,” I tell him.
“I should have locked my door,” he says. “There are no boundaries with Aya. I’m lucky if I can go to the bathroom without her trying to storm the door down.”
“Oh,” I say, unsure what else to respond with. There was never much privacy in our house either, but Lea and I are both girls and closer in age, obviously. “Does she wake you up a lot?”
“No, she’s probably just having a tough time, being the first night in this house.”
“Probably.” I’d happily go in there and comfort her, but she should not know I’m still here. That would cause a whole lot of unnecessary questions.
“I’ll be right back, beautiful. Get into that bed.”
My car is still in the driveway, right outside of Aya’s bedroom. Oh no.
“Kai!”
You have got to be kidding me. What the hell am I supposed to do right now? I can assume Denver doesn’t want to get into detail with Aya about us, especially not yet with everything so new. She mentioned her plan of finding a new mom. It broke my heart, and the last thing I’d want is to start something with Denver, have it end, and hurt her. I should have thought this all through better.
Dammit. I grab my dress from around the side of the bed and slip it over my head. I find my panties and shoes and put myself back together, debating if I should run or continue hiding out.
19
Denver
“I’m so sorry about that. Thanks for not responding when Aya yelled out for you—” I look around the room, making my way over to the other side of the bed since that’s where I left her, but as I feared, she’s not here. “Kai?”
I head back into the hall and jog down the unfamiliar stairs in the dark. I don’t hear anything, and I wouldn’t think she’d be walking around downstairs in the dark anyway, but I can’t figure out where she went. I look out the front window, and a wave of rejection hits me when I notice her Jeep is gone. She left.
I spot my phone on the entryway table where I left it after I walked in earlier. I search through my recently made calls for Kai’s number since I never saved it in my phone after Aya called her.
Three rings and no answer. Did I do something? Maybe it was Aya, and it’s too much for her. Being a single dad to a seven-year-old daughter is baggage but nothing I’m ashamed of or hide. I would embrace a permanent single-ever-after for Aya in a heartbeat if that’s what she needed from me, but she’s made it clear she wants me to find someone.
I haven’t made a big effort to find the “right” person after Isla left. Her abandonment hurt me, but the pain it put Aya through was more than I can consider putting her through again. Of course, Aya’s already attached to Kai, which means I have to deal with this one way or another, but not until I find out what’s wrong and if I fucked up.
Her phone continues to ring on the other end and then goes to her voicemail. Normally, I’m not the voicemail type, but it feels necessary if there’s any hope of Kai hearing me out at the moment. I listen to her sweet voice on the recorded message before the beep stings my ear.
“Kai, I hope I didn’t do anything to upset or embarrass you in any way. I guess I should have warned you more about Aya and how life gets interrupted more often than it did before I had her, but I didn’t think to mention it, I guess. In any case, please call me back when you get this.”
I hang up the phone and check the display for any new messages before heading back up the stairs to my lonely bedroom. What the fuck?
The good part about working night shifts is having the daytime free, but I have tonight off too because Aya and I are supposed to go to the hotel’s luau to watch Kai. She never called me back, though, so now I don’t know what’s what.
“Are you full?” I ask Aya as she finishes the eggs I made for her.
She nods her head yes but doesn’t say anything else. Her silence is giving me a headache this morning. I don’t know what she knows or what she doesn’t know, but she looks upset and won’t tell me why.
“I have an idea,” I tell Aya. She looks up at me after scraping her fork around her plate. “Do you want to go to the kids’ club at the hotel? I think I saw they have a painting activity today.”
“Okay,” she mutters. “I’ll go get dressed.”
She slides her seat back across the tiled floor and scuffles to the stairs, stomping all the way up, then slams her door. Women are going to be the death of me.
I’ve been up since five, so I’m showered and dressed, just waiting on Aya now. This isn’t how I was expecting the first couple of weeks post-Marine Corps to be. Aya isn’t adjusting, and I don’t know what to do to fix it. Maybe I should just go back to Oahu and try to put life back the way it was somehow. Of course, I just signed a year lease with this house, so that’s going to be hard. Maybe moving in the summer wasn’t a good idea because Aya has no friends or school. I can’t win.
Twenty minutes slowly crawl by and Aya returns. She’s dressed in a bathing suit with a coverup sundress. “I put my suit on in case you want to go swimming later.”
“Why are you so upset? Will you tell me now?” I ask her.
“I’m not upset,” she says. “Let’s just go.”
“Aya, you’re my daughter and I know when you’re upset. I don’t like it when you’re not happy, baby.”
“I kind of thought Kai would still be here this morning,” she says.
“Kai doesn’t live here. You know that, right?” Trust me, I wish she were still here this morning too, but I wouldn’t have let Aya see that even if she was. The last thing I’m going to do is get her hopes up about a potential future with a woman until I’m certain it’s going to work out.
“We have an extra bedroom,” Aya says.
Oh, to be innocent and think the way a seven-year-old thinks would make my life so much easier. “I know, but she has her own house.” Explaining this to Aya while I’m also trying to figure out why Kai took off is making the confusion in my head worse. I just want to stop talking about it, but there’s no way around this.
“Ready to go?”
“Are we still seeing Kai tonight at the luau?”
“I think so,” I tell her. In truth, I don’t know at this moment.
She sighs and heads for the door. It’s like she’s heartbroken and has no clue why. It can’t possibly be because Kai wasn’t here when she woke up this morning, and I know Kai wouldn’t have told her she’d be here, especially seeing as she couldn’t even say goodbye to me last night.
We pull up to the hotel, and I park the truck closer to the pool area so we can go around the back side of the hotel, rather than through the lobby where people have gotten to know me a little too well. “You’re going to have fun at the kids’ club,” I tell her.
“Are you going to hang out with Kai while I’m there?”
“Nah, I’m just going to rent a surfboard for a bit and relax. Is that okay with you?”
“Sure,” she says. “Don’t get hurt again.”
“Thanks, little miss. I’m good.” I hit a piece of coral one time and cut my foot, and now she thinks I’m asking to end up in the hospital every time I go surfing in the mildest waves available in Hawaii. I’m not a natural born surfer seeing as I’m from Texas, but I’ve picked it up over the years and find it to be a good way to release tension.
There’s a small cabana off to the side of the pools with a wooden sign and the word “kids” spelled upside down and backward. There’s a small door, meant for kids only, and a check-in process that keeps them safe in there. It’s a cute little spot.
I sign Aya in and give her a kiss on the forehead. “Have fun, baby. I’ll be back in two hours, and we’ll go swimming.”
“Okay,” she says in the same monotone sound she’s been struggling through all morning.
My aggravation is at a high level, and I’m having a rough time with this. Aya is more than a
handful when she gets this way, but having Kai to add to the pile of things bugging me is making this way worse.
Before I head over to the beach rental shop, I’m going to peek into the pool area to see if Kai is working. I’m sure if she is, she’ll just give me the cold shoulder like she normally does when she’s working, but I need some kind of answer, even if it’s a roll of her eyes. Then, at least I’ll know she’s annoyed at something.
I cross the pool deck and see another lifeguard in Kai’s seat. Great. I continue through the area and pass by the bar where I spot Lea working. “Hey Denver!” she shouts over.
“Mahalo,” I respond. “What’s happening?” I’m playing it cool in case she doesn’t know anything. Knowing as much, or as little, as I do about Kai, I suspect no one knows what’s going on in her head. Even her sister.
“You must be lonely today without the opportunity to tease my sister at the pool,” she snickers as she continues cleaning down the bar top.
“Yeah,” I laugh back, playing it off like I know.
“She seemed fine yesterday. She’s never called out of work before, so I think she’s got food poisoning or something. She must feel really crappy .”
Maybe she got sick? That still doesn’t explain why she didn’t respond to my call in some way. “Is she going to the doctor?”
“Nah, she said she’ll be fine. I guess it just needs to work its way through her system. She says that when she’s beating the crap out of Aunt Flo, too.” Aunt Flo? Oh God. Yeah, that’s not the case. I can attest to that at least.
“Lovely,” I tell her.
“I’ll tell Kai you were looking for her,” she says.
“It’s all right. I’m sure I’ll talk to her later.”
“Okeydoke,” she says, perky as hell. She always seems that way. I get the feeling the world could be collapsing in front of Lea, and she’d be staring through the dust, daydreaming about something exciting.
I take my phone out of my pocket and hit Kai’s number again, waiting for the ring. Right to voicemail again. Damn.
“Hey, Lea, what’s your address? I’m going to take Kai some soup or something to make her stomach feel better.”
“You’re so freaking sweet, Denver. Here,” she says, taking a cocktail napkin and jotting down her address. “Tell her I hope she’s feeling better.”
“No problem. I … uh … left Aya at the kids club, so if anything crazy happens over here—”
“I’ll get the kiddo. She’s so cute. No problem.”
“Thank you,” I tell her. “I’ll be back in an hour. “
Without giving it another thought, I book it to the address Lea gave me, finding a cute, older-looking house, styled from several decades ago. Kai mentioned living in her family’s house, so it makes sense. Her Jeep is in the driveway. That’s a good start, at least. As I’m hiking up the driveway, though, I get a feeling of unease. What am I doing? I haven’t even given her twenty-four hours to return my call. Maybe she just needs some space. God, I’m acting over the top and a little stalkerish. I shouldn’t be here. Back in the day, I wouldn’t give a chick another thought if she didn’t return my call. I’d just move on to the next. I didn’t have the patience for games, but this situation with Kai is making me feel crazy, and what’s worse is I’m doing crazy things.
I ring the bell, silently hoping Kai isn’t really sick because I showed up empty-handed. I decide to stand away from the peephole, another asshole move. She should have the right to avoid my presence.
Asshole or not, the door opens, and Kai is dressed in her work clothes, not looking sick in the slightest. “What’s going on?” I blurt out.
She starts to close the door. Another chick thing? What the hell? Twice in one week now. I don’t stop her from closing the door because that’s not my thing with women, just Aya. At least I have some self-restraint left.
Before the door is completely closed, Kai reopens it. “What are you doing here?” she asks.
“Why didn’t you return my calls?”
“I didn’t know what to say.”
“How about the reason why you left without saying goodbye last night?”
Kai takes a long look at me and scoops her hair up off her shoulders, tying it up in a ponytail. “Come in,” she says. “Take your shoes off, please.”
I shuffle my flip-flops off and follow her down the narrow hallway with peeling wallpaper, then into a family room with worn furniture. She plops down on the couch in front of a TV playing a rerun of The Bachelor or something of the sort. She grabs the remote and clicks the TV off.
Meanwhile, I’m sitting awkwardly on her couch, feeling like I’m too tall for this particular sofa, with my knees jutting out a foot off the cushion. I lean forward and rest my elbows on my legs. “What happened?”
“Aya called for me,” she says.
“And?” I ask her. She didn’t know whether Aya knew she was there or not. “She had no clue what time it even was when she was calling for you. She didn’t believe me that you were gone, so she yelled out.”
Kai turns her body, folding her leg up beneath her to face me. “Look, Denver, not only did I lose my parents, but I had to watch my little sister, who was twelve at the time, go through the emotions of losing her parents too. I did everything I could to make the pain better for her, but there was no way to fix her. The only thing there was for her was time to numb what she felt inside.
I look down between my clasped hands, getting where she’s going with this. She thinks I’m not careful with Aya’s heart. “Ask me how many women I’ve dated since Isla, Aya’s mom, left two years ago.”
Kai shrugs. “I’m not saying you would do anything to hurt Aya. That’s not my intention.”
“I understand, Kai. I haven’t gone on one date because it didn’t feel right, and I didn’t want to hurt Aya. That little girl, though, she has been begging me to find someone. She wants another woman around, and she thinks she’s got it all figured out. I’ve told her no so many times that I felt like a broken record. I wasn’t trying to find anyone, and I was okay with settling into a single life. Then you came around, and something clicked in my head. My resolve to remain solo began to waver. I had a sudden desire to remember what being with someone felt like.”
“With me?” she asks as if she still can’t understand my attraction for her.
“You may have been the first woman I spoke to when I arrived in Maui, but like I said, something clicked and told me to try my hand at flirting with you, which I obviously screwed up at first.”
“Yeah, you did. You’ve got zero game.”
“When you’re numb below the waist for so long, you’re not really on your ‘A’ game.”
“You’re numb below the waist? I’m afraid I have to disagree with that statement.”
“Until last night I was. Or, until you put your hands on my hips, teaching me how to dance, you cruel woman.”
Kai laughs, and I feel like I’ve at least accomplished something. “I totally did that on purpose,” she says.
“Yeah, no shit. All you wanted to do was get in my pants, you dirty girl.”
Her cheeks blush, and she flops her head into the back of the couch. “Shut it.”
“Seriously, Kai, I know there are risks in life. There is the possibility of Aya getting hurt at some point because of decisions I make along the way while raising her, but I’m good at going with my gut, or at least I’d like to think so. I’m alive, and so is Aya, and she’s pretty happy overall. That’s something, you know?”
Kai leans forward with a look of pain filling her eyes. “I wasn’t judging you,” she says. “I was scared of being the one to hurt Aya. I care about her a lot and after such a short time.”
“Let’s make this easy, okay?”
“What do you mean, like yourself?” she quips.
“Shh,” I tell her, giving her a quick smirk. “I like you, as much I could like any woman after just a week or so. How do you feel about me? What bothers you about me?”
I didn’t offer her similar feedback because the only thing that bothers me about her is whatever pain she’s still suffering with after losing her parents. Life’s too short to have our decisions motivated by painful memories, and I’d happily prove that to her.
“I feel the same way about you, not that I prefer to put all my cards out on the table or anything, but at twenty-eight, I think honesty is best. With that said,” she continues. “I guess there’s only one thing that really bothers me …” I can easily assume she’s referring to my job.
“What’s that?” I play into her tease.
“You are really bad at following pool rules.”
Well, I wasn’t expecting that, but it’s something I can probably work on. “Pool rules suck. So—”
“What about me?” she asks.
“You’re bad at giving yourself credit for being a truly amazing person who has given up her life to care for someone else.”
She blinks slowly, peers down at her lap and then back up at me. “I am bad at that, but I’d rather be humble because it keeps my anger at life in check.”
“Fair enough,” I tell her.
“Agreed.”
“So, when I like a woman, I don’t play games. I see if it works. I see if there’s a possibility of a future. I go all in until I have a reason to—”
“Pull out?” She smirks and chuckles with her breath.
“Wow. That’s a lot of hot talk.”
“Well, can you take the heat?”
“Try me out, Kai. Give me a chance. We won’t tell Aya more than we have to until enough time has passed, and we’re both confident in the direction our relationship is moving.”
“That means we’ll have to get good at sneaking around,” she says.
“We’ll have to be quick at times too,” I reply.
“How long do you have?”
“Thirty minutes,” I tell her, feeling a jump in my pants and pounding in my chest. She clambers over to me, pinning me down on the couch, taking me as if she owns me.
“Is this what you want?” I ask.
The Man Cave Collection: Manservant, Man Flu, Man Handler, and Man Buns Page 103