He grabbed my wrist to stop me. “If you wanted to be home alone, you’d never have come with me.”
Turning my eyes away, I set the phone down to grab my drink instead.
“Hey,” he said, taking my chin between two of his fingers. He turned me to look at him. “I just want to be friends. Relax…and give it a chance.” He gave me a soft, reassuring smile. “Besides, Nathan should be here soon.”
From there the night seemed to shift into warp speed. The drinks kept coming, time fell away unnoticed, and I found myself on the dance floor with Kevin, hopping to music from Kool & the Gang. When Nathan finally showed up, he had a tall redhead strapped to his arm. A spark of uneasiness cut through me that I deemed less about jealousy and more about concern for him. Not only did it feel too soon to jump back into dating, but the women in his life always ended up being a chink in his armor—present company included.
The lights flickered, last call announced, and our little foursome caravanned over to Kevin’s house. His place was nicer than I’d expected. I briefly wondered how he could afford it, but the answers were better left unknown. Nathan’s new friend, Lacy, sat next to me on the couch, seemingly intent on being my new friend as well. She told me she and Nathan had met at the Starbucks near his restaurant, where she went every day to write her blog. I didn’t even bother to ask what her blog focused on. The more she talked, the more I felt trapped in the surreal scene. She must have noticed I didn’t return her interest in being friends, because she got up from the couch and went to the kitchen, where the two brothers stood talking.
Away from the noise and distractions of the club and free from Lacy’s chattering, my thoughts fell to Daniel. The lost and confused expression on his face. His will I’d broken, crushed into probable oblivion. Why couldn’t I let him help me the way he once had? He’d warned me this could happen, and I hadn’t listened. My feelings for him had made me overconfident, making promises I was too weak to keep. A drink thrust in front of my face broke into my spiral of guilt.
“What’s this?”
“House specialty,” Kevin said.
I examined it with a discerning glare, unsure if I should trust this supposedly new Kevin.
He glanced back at Nathan and Lacy in the kitchen. Then he flashed me an innocent grin. “It’s a Stinger. Your boy made it.”
For a moment, I kept my gaze on the two of them, Nathan smiling at Lacy like he had no inclination that I’d called him in the first place. I should have anticipated our relationship would reach that point. I accepted the glass, and Kevin sat down next to me, holding a drink of his own.
“You feeling any better?” He swung an arm across the back of the couch behind me.
I sipped my drink, watching him over the glass, waiting for the old Kevin to slink out of him. “I haven’t decided yet.”
He set his drink onto the coffee table in front of us and leaned closer to me. “I know you and Nathan have always been tight. Hell, I’ve even been jealous of it. But I think it’s time to cut the cord, don’t you?”
“Why do you say that? Nathan and I are still good friends. We always will be.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “No matter what.”
He bobbed his head in agreement. “Yeah, I get that. I’m just saying…you and I are not so different. We could be friends, too.” He squinted over in Nathan’s direction. Lacy laughed as she leaned her head on his shoulder. “He needs to stop obsessing over you and get a life. The only way for him to do that is for you to let him.”
Whether Kevin had changed remained to be seen, but he had a valid point. Even as my head lightened, I saw that clear enough for it to add to my existing guilt. “So, you want to replace Nathan?” I said sarcastically.
“No…I just want a chance to hang with you sometimes. I don’t know. Make up for some of the shit I did in the past?”
“I’d rather forget the past, if you don’t mind.”
“Yeah, me too. Me and my bro are getting along now, and I don’t want to screw that up.”
“I’m happy for you,” I said, genuinely meaning it. But I regretted my next words as they came out. “Not everyone gets a second chance.” I sighed in frustration and rose from the couch.
“What’s wrong?” he said, following me to the window. It had to be after two in the morning, so I faced blackness beyond the glass.
“Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.” Especially not with Kevin. How could I let our conversation get to that point? Even there, my past hunted me down.
He ran a hand down my arm from behind me. “I know. I hate talking about my shit, too. Saying it out loud just makes it so real. But I can still be here for you. The same way my brother used to be.” He coaxed me out like a battered stray animal.
Just then Nathan and Lacy came from the kitchen. “Hey, Kev. We’re going to hit the road.”
I opened my mouth but stopped myself from coming off as pathetic and needy.
“Lacy wants to see my place.” I caught a hint of uncertainty when his eyes flitted to mine, but not enough to make me feel better.
“Nathan promised to make me breakfast, and it’s about that time, isn’t it?” Lacy giggled before wrapping her arm around his waist.
He touched my arm as he walked by and said softly, “We’ll catch up later.” It stung seeing them walking out, arm in arm, with no regard from him about leaving me with Kevin.
Stunned and a little nervous, I went back to the couch. I hugged a pillow and finished my drink while Kevin straightened the kitchen as if I weren’t still there. What was his game, anyway?
Then after a couple of minutes, he said, “Sorry about Nathan bailing. Kind of a dick move, huh?”
I ignored the comment, sulking quietly. I’d pushed Daniel away, and the one other person I could count on finally had enough of me.
Kevin finally came back to the couch, holding two new glasses of something.
“Another Stinger?”
“Mostly,” he said with a shrug. “This one’ll do you nice, though.”
I took the drink from his hands, mildly aware of my dumb decision to accept.
“Make you forget about both of them.”
My head snapped his way in surprise. “Both?”
“Nathan said you hooked up with some doctor.”
I fumed but held it in, hoping Kevin wouldn’t notice. Nathan would answer to me for this one. “I don’t want to talk about it.” I took most of the drink down in one long swallow. Then I threw back the last bit.
“Nice,” Kevin said, stretching the word out. He set his down and put his arm around me. “Just close your eyes and let that take you.”
I followed his instruction, and moments later I heard music come on. A hand ran down my hair as I relaxed into the song, letting it fill me, pushing the pain aside.
“Now just breathe,” he said. His hands moved to my shoulders and began rubbing.
I kept my eyes closed, feeling higher with every note. Lighter with every touch of his hands. Whatever he’d put in that drink hit me hard and fast. Suddenly, everything horrible and painful I’d held inside fell away. I let out a long, soft sigh.
“That’s it, baby.” His voice came so low he sounded far away, but I sensed the closeness of his body. His hands moved from my shoulders to my neck. Fingers touched down my cheek. Then his lips brushed against my ear. “Just relax.”
Somehow time must have skipped ahead. Kevin was gone, and Daniel was in his place. “I’ll take care of you, Gray,” he said. He planted slow soft kisses on my neck, trailing toward my lips and igniting that fire in me that only Daniel could fuel.
“Oh, Daniel,” I moaned into his parted lips. “I need you so much. I’m so sorry.”
“Shh. Don’t say anything. Just let me make you feel good.”
I felt his hands opening the button on my pants as he kissed me. “Yes, Daniel. I want you so bad.” Need filled me. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer.
As our kiss grew deeper, something strange came
over me. His mouth felt hard and forceful and unfamiliar. Instinctively, I grabbed at his wrist when his hand tried to slide into my underwear. My breathing grew frantic. I opened my eyes, hoping to understand why Daniel was making me feel such fear and violation.
Kevin’s eyes greeted me with a fierce glare, intimating an unrelenting hunger.
“Kevin, no,” I huffed out, trying to squirm out from under him. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” His image blurred before my eyes, but I fought to take hold of it.
“Giving you what you need, baby. What we both need.”
“Fuck you! Get off me.” A boost of adrenaline kicked in, sobering me enough to knee him in the crotch.
He rolled to the side just as his phone rang. I bolted off the couch, my head swimming the moment I stood.
He answered his call as I staggered to the bathroom. “What?...Now? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he said.
I shut the door, splashed some water onto my face, and tried to figure out what had just happened. I looked at my pathetic, unrecognizable face in the small-mirrored cabinet. Anger. Sorrow. Regret. All pulled me in different directions until I yelled at my image and smashed my fist against the mirror. It cracked into a Y shape but remained in place. I stared at the broken reflection that represented the broken me. Who had I become? Somewhere in that image lived the woman who Daniel loved. But how could he love me if I wasn’t the person he thought I was? My brain was so muddled I didn’t know anything at all except that I didn’t want to be broken. Daniel and Alyssa wouldn’t stop caring about me just because I was broken. But they would be stuck picking up the pieces. Stuck in my twisted world of uncertainty and bad karma. So I needed to make a choice: let them love me or leave them for good. I just didn’t know if I had the strength for the former. For sure, they didn’t deserve this.
A bright red drop landed in the clean white sink, catching my attention. I lifted my hand and saw a bloody cut on the side of my palm. Backing away from the sink, I watched the cracked Y blur in front of my eyes. I grabbed the door handle to steady myself before I opened it. The room swayed around me like the deck of a ship as I walked. I scanned the room looking for Kevin. Had he been on the phone before I went to the bathroom? I couldn’t remember. My head spun so fast I thought I would be sick. I saw my phone on the cushion of the couch. Just as I reached it, everything around me went black.
CHAPTER 24
--------------------------
Daniel
I glanced over to the nervous and slightly perturbed girl walking next to me. Actually, she’d grown into quite a young woman in the short time I’d known her. I found it difficult not to think of Jessie at that moment, wondering what type of girl she’d have become if she’d only had the chance. But something saddened me even more: Jessie missing out on being friends with this sweet yet determined girl.
I gave Alyssa a tight smile in a weak attempt to reassure her that everything would be fine, though I had no idea why she’d been asked to come to the hospital. She’d called me that morning, saying Gray wasn’t in the apartment and hadn’t answered her calls or texts. I’d met Alyssa at the apartment, where I found the mess from the glass cleaned up. Was that a good sign? It might have been if Gray had been there as well. I’d been frustrated with her the night before, but I couldn’t help being disappointed and angry that she’d let Alyssa down. Part of me prayed Gray had let her down, because any other reason for her absence would cause unthinkable worry—something neither Alyssa nor I could afford at that moment.
We checked with an elderly woman at the nurses’ station who told us she’d just come on and hadn’t made the call to Alyssa. She left us there to find the doctor or someone who knew why they’d called.
“She was doing fine,” Alyssa said, as if trying to convince me. She folded her arms, swiveled her head back and forth, checking for the nurse. “This is bull crap. They were releasing her tomorrow.”
“I’m sure she’s fine.” That may have been a mistake, given the situation, but something inside me instinctively wanted to comfort her.
After about five minutes, Alyssa took off down the hall. “Screw this.”
I followed her as she led us to her mother’s room, trepidation increasing every step closer. Would I have to pick up the pieces of another woman’s tragedy? I’d become a magnet for damsels in distress.
Alyssa popped the door open to an empty room with a made bed. “What the hell?”
It appeared clean and ready for a new occupant. And with the frigid temperature, it seemed unlikely anyone had been there recently. “Is this the right room?”
“Yeah. She’s been here almost the whole time. Gray and I were here on Wednesday.”
We both stepped into the small space near the bed, exchanging confused glances. “Maybe they moved her?” I said, searching for an explanation.
Her brows knitted, and her breathing grew heavy. “What do we do?” On the verge of tears, she walked to my side. “What if she died and I didn’t get to say goodbye?”
I put my arm around her and looked down into her despairing eyes. “Let’s not jump to any conclusions. We should go back to the nurses’ station and see if we can find out what happened.”
Just as we turned to leave, the door opened. A plump young nurse entered.
“Valerie, where’s my mom?”
Valerie sent a nervous glance my way, then turned back to Alyssa. “Hi, honey. Is Gray with you?”
“No…she uh, had to go to her office…for an emergency.” She sent a thumb in my direction. “She had her friend bring me.”
I nodded and smiled at Valerie, hoping she wouldn’t question Alyssa’s story. “Can you please tell us where they moved Laurie?”
Her slight hesitation registered a quickening of my pulse. A small, trembling hand reached for mine.
Valerie stepped forward and pulled something from her pocket. “I know you were supposed to bring your mom home tomorrow, but she’s gone.”
“Gone?” Alyssa said with a raised voice. She squeezed my hand tighter. “What does that mean?”
“Oh, God. No. I’m sorry. That came out wrong.” She handed Alyssa a sealed envelope with her name on it. “When I went in for my morning check, she was gone, and I found this on her bed.”
“She checked out early?” I asked. “On her own?”
Valerie shook her head and then pointed her gaze down at her clasped hands. “I’m sorry, no. We hadn’t even done her discharge papers. Somehow she just left.”
“Somehow?” What the…. “How does that happen?”
“We’d hoped that possibly you or Gray had picked her up early and somehow slipped by us. But…there was a note with the envelope that said we should give it to you.” She shook her head. “I’m very sorry.”
Alyssa glanced up at me with hopeful eyes. “Maybe she just couldn’t stand it here any longer. Maybe she’s at the apartment.”
Before I could respond, her face fell.
“Right. That’s why she left me this freaking note.”
“I’ll give you some time,” Valerie said as she turned to leave.
“Before you go,” I said, and she stopped. “Did Laurie have any new visitors recently?”
She thought for a moment. “No, not really. Just Alyssa and Gray…and that other man who’s been here a few times.”
“Other man?” Alyssa said.
“Yes, but I’m sorry I don’t remember his name. Tall, with a beard.”
Alyssa waited until the door closed behind Valerie and then muttered under her breath, “Fucking Teddy.” She released my hand and looked down at the envelope. “Guess I gotta read this.”
“Should I give you some privacy?”
“No, please stay.”
I nodded before taking a seat by a small window while she leaned up against the bed and read the letter she’d just pulled from the envelope. I checked my phone, hoping to see a message from Gray. Then I sent her a text, telling her to call me as soon as possible. I h
ad my doubts about hearing from her anytime soon. I couldn’t discern whether I held more anger or more worry for Gray at that moment, but focusing on Alyssa suddenly became my priority.
She swiped a finger under her eyes, folded the letter, and returned it to the envelope. She relayed the gist of it, confirming that her mother had indeed abandoned her. She and Teddy were headed to Georgia, where Teddy’s family owned a business.
“I can’t believe she picked that freeloading douche who caused the accident over her own freaking daughter. I mean, who does that?” She rose and walked over to the window I sat next to. “You’re a shrink. What kind of person does that to a kid?”
“Sadly, it happens more than you’d think. I know it doesn’t make it better, but some people are so wrapped up in their own emotions, it becomes all they can see.”
She stared out the window with a blank look. No tears, no yelling. Just shock. I recognized the expression I’d seen enough times. Her non-reaction compelled me to say more, so I stood up and went to her side.
“I know it’s hard to understand, but your mom may have done this for you. Sometimes parents believe they are doing more harm than good, and this accident may have shown her that.”
“I just can’t believe she’s gone. She said once they got settled and found their own place she’d send me money to come see her. Like visiting your grandma or something.” She turned and threw her arms around me, slamming her head against my chest. “She can forget it, because I don’t ever want to see her again.”
I held her with one hand on her back and one behind her head. I didn’t tell her she’d probably change her mind about that. I just held her until she finished needing to be held.
When she pulled back and considered me, she said, “What do I do now? What will happen to me?”
“Well, Gray is still responsible for you. Your mom made her your temporary guardian. I don’t want you to worry about the details because there are a lot of us who are going to be here for you.”
Liar Page 18