by Adele Abbott
“For me? What do you mean?”
“It’s about the missing vase.”
“Have you found it?”
“No, but I suspect I know who may have taken it.”
“Really? Who?”
“Well, actually.” I hesitated. “I think you did.”
“I beg your pardon?” She looked aghast.
“I think you took it.”
“Would you care to explain yourself?”
“I spoke to Lady Bunty. She and her husband told me they stopped off in Winminster on their way back from Ladies’ Day at Ascot. They said they saw you coming out of the antique shop.”
“They saw me?” she said.
“Yes. Climbing into a green Porsche.”
“What exactly are you suggesting?”
“Your gardener, Roger Tyler has a green Porsche.”
“Let me get this straight. You think that I’m having some kind of a ‘fling’ with Roger Tyler? And that I stole my own antiques and sold them to finance this affair?”
“That would explain how your gardener could afford a car like that.”
“Hmm, and I assume you didn’t want Sir Cuthbert to join us today because you thought it might be embarrassing for me if he found out about this?”
“Precisely.”
“Interesting theory. Would you just give me a moment?” she said.
I was beginning to have serious doubts—I’d expected her to break down and confess. Instead, she reached into her handbag and took out a phone.
“Cuthbert, it’s me. You’ll never guess where I am. No, no, not there. I’m with that private investigator of yours. The crazy woman thinks that I stole the vase. And, there’s more. Apparently, I’m also having an affair with the gardener. Yes, dear, that’s what I thought. Look, I’m going to pass this phone to her now. Would you mind telling the private investigator where you and I were on Ladies’ Day at Ascot this year? Okay, passing you over now.”
By now all the colour had drained from my face. I knew I’d got this badly wrong, but I had no idea why.
“Hello,” I said, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me.
“What on earth are you doing Jill?” Sir Cuthbert shouted. “Why would you accuse Phoebe of stealing her own vase? Dear me, I shall have to speak to the colonel. He told me that you were top notch. Anyway, as for Ladies’ Day, Phoebe and I were in Edinburgh. All day, and the next day too. Although, I’m not sure what difference that makes.”
“Oh, I see. Thank you.”
I handed the phone back to Lady Phoebe.
“I think we’re done here, young lady.” She stood up.
“I’m sorry, Lady Phoebe. I may have got this wrong.”
“You may have got this wrong? You may have?”
“I obviously have got this wrong. I’m deeply sorry.”
“I assume you won’t be sending us a bill?”
“No, of course not.”
“Right. Goodbye then.”
With that, she stormed out of the office.
How had I got it so wrong? I’d been sure that she’d been stealing her own antiques to finance her affair with Roger Tyler.
“Another satisfied customer,” Winky said.
“Shut up, baldy.”
Chapter 16
An hour later, and I was still reeling from my meeting with Lady Phoebe.
“I really messed up, Winky.”
“Do I look like I care? I have more important things to worry about. Just look at this fur!”
“I thought you were going to buy a tonic?”
“I’m still searching for one, but I haven’t found anything yet.”
“You’ll have to get off my computer. I have some would-be clients arriving any moment.”
“Let’s hope they didn’t bump into that old gal on their way here. I doubt she’d give you a glowing reference.”
“Don’t rub it in. I feel bad enough already. Anyway, you’ll have to get off there before they arrive.”
“Are you trying to tell me that your would-be clients are more important than my fur loss?”
“Without a shadow of a doubt.” I gently nudged him off the desk.
“Hey! I could report you.”
“As soon as I’ve finished with my clients, you can carry on your search.”
“Why don’t you ask them?”
“Ask who?”
“The people who are coming to see you.”
“Ask them what?”
“If they know of any good products for curing fur loss.”
“Yeah, because that’s likely.”
“Just ask them.”
“I’m trying to win a new client here. What sort of impression would it make if the first thing I do when they walk through the door is ask them if they know of a cure for feline fur loss?”
“If you care for me at all, you’ll ask them.”
Before I could respond, the door opened, and Mrs V showed the couple in. The woman was small and mouse-like. The man was a good nine inches taller, and completely bald. I glanced at Winky who shook his head in despair.
“Mr and Mrs Coot?” I said.
“Scoot, actually,” the man said.
“Oh, sorry. My receptionist’s handwriting can be a challenge at times.”
“I’m Walter and this is Elizabeth.”
The woman managed a weak smile, but didn’t speak.
“Please have a seat. How can I help?”
“We’re going to lose our house,” the woman said. She was close to tears.
“It’s okay, Liz.” The man put his hand on hers. “We’ve lived in Palm Close for the last ten years, and we’ve been really happy there. But unless you can help us, we’ll probably have to move out.”
“I don’t want to move.” The woman began to sob.
“It’s all right, Liz. We’re going to get this sorted.”
“What exactly is the problem? Is it a financial issue?”
“No, nothing like that. There are twelve houses on the street, and most of the other residents have been there as long as we have. We love living there. Or, at least, we used to.”
“What happened?”
“I’m not sure.” He hesitated. “You’ll think I’m crazy.”
If only this man knew how insane my whole life was, he’d realise it would have to be something truly spectacular for me to find whatever he had to tell me crazy.
“Go on. Try me.”
“It started about three months ago. The couple who live directly across from us, who we’d known for years, suddenly upped and left. Then the same thing happened with our next door neighbours. We’d been friends with Jessie and Michael for years, and they’d always said they’d never move. But they too decided to leave. The same thing has happened at two more houses. There’s hardly anyone left.”
“It’s rather a coincidence, I grant you, but stranger things have happened. Has anyone moved into the vacated properties?”
“No, they’re all still empty.”
“I’m still not sure why you feel you have to move out.”
“It’s haunted!” Mrs Scoot blurted out.
“Haunted? Have you actually seen a ghost?”
“No,” her husband said. “We haven’t seen anything. Not really. I’ve never believed in ghosts. I’ve always thought it was nonsense. But there are things happening in that house which I just can’t explain. It’s making Liz ill; I don’t think we can take much more. And, now we’ve had an offer from someone wanting to buy the house. I don’t want to sell, but I don’t see how we can stay there.”
“Who did the offer come from?”
“I don’t actually know. It came via a firm of solicitors, who wouldn’t name their client. It isn’t a bad offer. It’s roughly the market value, maybe a little under, but we don’t want to leave our home. That’s why we’ve come to see you. I don’t really know what I expect you to do, but we have to try to do something. Do you think you can help, or do you think we’re crazy?”
“So, will you take the case?”
“Of course.”
After they’d gone, Winky jumped back on the desk, and began searching for potions online. Meanwhile, I mulled over what Mr and Mrs Scoot had told me. Little did they know that I had every reason to believe in ghosts, but there was something about the whole story which didn’t ring true.
***
I got a phone call from Pearl.
“Jill! It’s Jethro time. Hurry!”
How pathetic! Why get so excited just because Aunt Lucy’s gardener was working at her house today. He was only a man after all.
“Yeah, come on,” Amber shouted. “Or you’re going to miss him.”
As if I would stoop so low.
“I’m rather busy, girls. I don’t know if I can make it.”
“Your loss,” Pearl said, and she ended the call.
Silly girls. It was about time they grew up. I tried to focus on the papers in front of me, but it was no good.
“I’ve just remembered something I have to do,” I said to Winky on my way to the door.
He rolled his eye. “Are you off to ogle that gardener again?”
“No, of course not. I just remembered I have an—err—appointment at the—err—optician.”
Winky smirked; he wasn’t buying that for one minute.
I lost no time in magicking myself over to Aunt Lucy’s. I was in such a hurry that I actually stumbled into the twins when I arrived.
“Well, well, well, look who’s here,” Pearl said.
“I thought you weren’t interested.” Amber giggled.
“I’m not. It’s just that I had something else to do in Candlefield.”
“Of course you did,” Amber said.
“Where is he, anyway?”
“I just saw him heading towards the back gate. Quick.”
Aunt Lucy was already at the window. What would Lester think if he saw her ogling the gardener?
“Hello, Jill,” she said, without once taking her eyes off the window.
“Admiring the flower beds?”
She either didn’t hear me or chose to ignore the jibe.
We spent the next few minutes jostling one another to get the best view.
“He has someone with him,” Pearl said.
“Where?”
“Look! There behind him. Did you know about this, Mum?” Amber said.
“Actually, now you mention it, I do remember Jethro saying that he’d taken on an apprentice, but I didn’t realise he’d be helping him with my garden.”
“What’s he like?” Pearl said. “Is he hot too?”
“I can’t get a good look at him.” Amber was straining her neck, trying to get a better view. “He’s a lot shorter than Jethro; much smaller build too. And that baseball cap doesn’t really do anything for him.”
“Worth a closer look though,” Pearl said.
“You two are terrible.” I interrupted their evaluation of the newcomer. “If William and Alan could see you now, they’d disown you.”
“You can talk!” Amber said, “What about Jack, Drake and whoever else you have in tow this week?”
“I don’t have anyone ‘in tow’. And like I said, I didn’t come here to see Jethro, I just—”
“Don’t give us that. We can see straight through your fairy stories,” Amber said. “Anyway, if William and I ever do split up, I might let Jethro take me out.”
Pearl giggled. “You’d let him? What makes you think he’d want to take you out?”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“Just look at him! He could have his pick of any woman in Candlefield. He’s never going to pick you.”
“It’s possible.”
“In your dreams! You might get a date with his apprentice, if you’re lucky.”
“Look!” Aunt Lucy pointed.
The apprentice had taken off his baseball cap, and put it on the fence. As he did, his long hair cascaded down over his shoulders, and it became immediately apparent that he was actually a she. She was petite, and very pretty.
“It’s a girl!” Amber said.
“What’s Jethro doing with a girl?” Pearl huffed. “He can’t work with a girl!”
“I’m pretty sure he can work with whoever he wants.” I laughed.
“It’s not right. How can we have ‘Jethro time’ if he’s got a girl with him?”
“She’s very pretty,” Aunt Lucy said.
“Not that pretty.” Pearl screwed up her nose. “Look, there’s a spot on her chin.”
“Yes, and her hair is greasy,” Amber said.
“So, you two aren’t jealous then?” I grinned.
“Of course not! She obviously only works with him. I doubt he even notices she’s a girl.”
“Oh, I think he’s noticed,” I said. “Look at the way he’s looking at her.”
***
Once we’d realised that Jethro’s apprentice was a girl, we felt a little awkward staring at them. One by one, we all moved away and took a seat in the kitchen.
“I think it’s disgusting,” Amber said.
“What is?” Aunt Lucy was pouring the tea.
“Jethro bringing a girl with him. What was he thinking?”
“She’s here to learn.”
“She should find something more suitable.”
“Really, Pearl!” I was flabbergasted. “I can’t believe you just said that! That’s very sexist.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I meant there are plenty of other jobs she could do which don’t require her to work alongside our Jethro.”
Aunt Lucy rolled her eyes at her daughter, and then turned to me. “Jill, I wanted to ask you a favour.”
“What’s that?”
“Lester and I were thinking of having a weekend away.”
“How come you didn’t tell us?” Amber said.
“I’m sure you two don’t tell me everything you and your fiancés do.”
The twins blushed.
“Anyway, as I was saying, Jill. I wondered if you would look after the house while we’re away?”
“What?” Amber almost choked on her drink.
“What do you mean, if she’ll look after the house?” Pearl said. “Why can’t we look after it? We’re your daughters.”
Aunt Lucy took a deep breath. “Don’t you remember what happened the last time I asked you two to look after the house?”
“It was only a small party,” Amber said.
“Yeah,” Pearl said. “There can’t have been more than half a dozen people.”
“There were thirty-seven.”
“We didn’t invite them all.”
“That’s irrelevant. There were thirty-seven people in the house when I came back early.”
“Yes, but if we’d known you were going to come back early—”
“You were supposed to be looking after the house. You both promised that you wouldn’t have friends around here.”
“But—”
“But nothing. You two have had your chance, and proven you can’t be trusted.”
“Well, at least we know where we stand,” Pearl said. “We might as well go now then. We know when we’re not wanted, don’t we, Amber?”
“We sure do!”
The two of them stood up, and stormed out, slamming the door behind them.
“Oh dear. I think I may have upset them.” Aunt Lucy laughed. She didn’t appear to be too concerned.
“Are you sure you want me to do this?” I said.
“Yes. I trust you, Jill. I know that if you promise to do something, you will. And, I know you’re not the kind of person to throw wild parties.”
What did she mean, ‘not the kind of person to throw wild parties’? I had a horrible feeling that translated as: being boring and past it.
“So, are you sure you’re okay with this, Jill?”
“Yes, of course I’ll do it.”
“Great. That’s settled then.”
“What about the twins?”
“Never mind those two. They’ll get over it. They always do.”
Chapter 17
I wasn’t sure what kind of a reception I’d get when I got back to Cuppy C, but I feared the worst. Amber and Pearl were sitting at a window table chatting away, until they spotted me.
“Hi, you two.”
“Traitor!” Pearl said.
“It’s not my fault that Aunt Lucy asked me to look after the house.”
They both glared at me, but then giggled.
“It’s okay. We don’t blame you,” Amber said. “We blame Mum. Why doesn’t she trust us?”
“It’s just a wild guess, but maybe it has something to do with what happened last time? When you had a party?”
“It wasn’t really a party. It was just a gathering of friends,” Amber said.
“These friends—were any of them drunk?”
“Some of them, possibly.”
“And did anything get damaged?”
“Well—there was that vase. And the mirror. Oh, and the carpet, and the back door. Nothing much really.”
I laughed. “It’s really hard to understand why she was upset.”
“Anyway, we don’t care, do we, Pearl?” Amber said.
“No. We’ve got better things to do. We have fiancés and a social life.”
“I have a social life.”
“Really?” They looked at each other and giggled again.
“Anyway, I’d better go and see to Barry.”
Barry didn’t come running to greet me like he usually did. I found him lying next to the bed, with his head on his front paws, looking very sorry for himself.
“Barry?”
“Humph.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Come on, Barry. This isn’t like you. Something must be wrong.”
“If you must know, it’s Hamlet.”
“Has something happened to him? Is he okay?”
“He’s fine.”
“So what’s wrong?”
“He doesn’t like to play or talk to me. He ignores me most of the time.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
“It is. He’s started a book club, and he won’t let me join.”