by Tia Wylder
I could ask my parents for help, but they didn’t know about Jacob. Their reaction would have been horrific if Axel was here, but with him gone it would be even worse. They would force me to move back in with them. They would take my baby from me, probably send him to some boarding school or offer him up for adoption.
They loved to dig their claws in and control my life like I was a puppet with strings leading right back to them. Help always came with a catch, which is why I never asked, unless I had to. No, I couldn’t tell them, and Axel’s parents were separated. He didn’t even speak to his mother anymore.
I was alone in this. Time went on and I lost hope. The money Axel left dwindled until there was nothing but pennies left. I applied for assistance from the government, but they denied me. Even with an infant son, they were too obsessed with their war to help a mother with her newborn son. I was out of options. I remember sitting on the bed, my eyes red and swollen from sobbing. I had never felt so alone in my entire life.
My phone starting ringing on the bed next to me. I looked over and saw the name of my best friend, Lisa, lit up on the screen. We hadn’t spoken since Axel left, but something told me to pick up the call. Honestly, if someone would just listen, that would be enough for now. I picked it up and swiped across the screen to answer.
“Hey Lisa,” I said.
“Jackie, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” she asked.
She always knew, she could tell when I was sick, when I was sad, and everything in between.
“It’s Axel,” I said.
“What did he do? Did he hit you?”
She didn’t think very highly of him.
“No Lisa, nothing like that. He ran out when they announced the draft.”
Lisa sighed into the speaker.
“How are you holding up?
“Well, we had a baby before he left, so not well.”
I heard Lisa’s voice turn sour through the speaker. We agreed not to tell anyone about the baby, friends included. I knew this moment would come sooner or later.
“You have a baby? Why didn’t you tell me? We tell each other everything, Jackie!”
I felt the tears welling up behind my eyes again. Lisa sounded hurt, I knew I would be.
“We didn’t want anyone to know. You know how my parents are.”
“You thought I would tell them?” Lisa asked.
“No, not that, I just, I promised Axel I wouldn’t tell a soul.”
Lisa scoffed. “A lot of good that did.”
“Listen, Lisa, you know I love you like a sister, but I’m not good right now. We’re out of money and I don’t know what to do. Can I call you back later and we’ll talk about this?”
I could practically see Lisa shaking her head.
“No, that’s not how this works. You need someone there to help you.”
“Lisa, I couldn’t ask that from you.”
“I’m not talking about me, Jackie, I’m talking about Tyler.”
Tyler was Jackie’s older brother. He was kind of a dork in school, but he grew up fast and got in shape. Last time I heard about him, he was a professional athlete, playing as the quarterback of a big football team. Asking Lisa for help was bad enough, but asking help from my best friend’s older brother? I couldn’t.
“Lisa, Tyler is busy; he’s a famous athlete isn’t he?”
“Yeah, but he busted his shoulder last season, they won’t let him play for at least a year. He’s too busted up to get drafted like the other guys, so he’s been moping around my house for the last three weeks. He’s driving me crazy, to be honest. He can’t lift anything heavy, but otherwise he’s fully capable and he’s got enough money for three lifetimes so he can help you out. He owes me, and besides, he’s always had a crush on you,” Lisa said.
“No, Lisa, I can’t. Axel said he was coming back!”
“Listen, Jackie, I don’t know if you’re bad boy biker is coming back, or if he’s in some kind of MC, but in the meantime, you have a newborn to take care of and bills to pay. You don’t have to sleep with him, but you’d be doing me a favor if you take him off my hands.”
It didn’t feel right, but I was out of options. Axel leaving had finally backed me into a corner.
“Alright, alright, he can stay here,” I said.
“Good, it’s done then. I’ll talk to him tonight and he’ll be there in a couple days. Are you going to be alright until then?”
“Yeah, we’ll be fine.”
“Good. Oh, and Jackie?”
This was the part where she lectured me about what I had done wrong. She was wise, but I swear sometimes I thought she was more of a mother to me than my real one ever was.
“Yes, Lisa?”
“I want to meet that baby. We have a lot of catching up to do.”
She always knew how to make me smile.
Chapter Four
Axel
I wasn’t the only one who dodged the draft, but I still saw my face on the news and on the digital billboards. They cycled through pictures of all the dodgers, offering a reward to anyone who turned them in. They were ruthless, trying to get other people to do their dirty work. I kept my face hidden, wore a hat and sunglasses everywhere I could.
I stuck to small towns where the gas stations still existed anyway. I looked for work, or any way to make money, but I soon learned that people would rather turn me in instead of hiring a draft-dodger. I had already given everything I could spare to Jackie when I left. The only money I kept was for gas and food, but even that was running low.
Just like my money, I knew my luck was going to run out eventually. They had an entire broadcast channel running the names and faces of all the people who didn’t report for the draft. My fortune turned for the worst at a gas station in some no-name town just west of nowhere. I had to pay with cash; it was too easy to track cards. That meant going inside and paying, something I always dreaded doing.
I made the walk to the main building and pulled open the glass door. A bell clanged against the glass as I was hit with the stale and cold breeze that seemed to exist in every gas station. The teller sat behind a counter, his face buried in a magazine as I casually browsed the candy bar aisle.
I checked for exits like usual, just in case I needed to run. I walked back to the ATM and looked at the bulletin board. The owner had flyers up with lists of the dodger’s names. That wasn’t a good sign. I could always bail and head to another station, but I didn’t think my bike would make it. I walked back up to the counter and saw the magazine lower. A tattoo revealed itself from beneath his sleeve as he set the magazine down.
It was an emblem, military if I had to guess. No wonder he had a list of draft-dodgers, he was veteran. This was all way too risky, but I wasn’t about to run out of gas on some stretch of road in the middle of a blistering desert.
“Twenty on pump two,” I said.
His wrinkled eyes glanced up at me and then back to his register.
“You look familiar kid,” he said.
“I’ve just got one of those faces,” I replied.
He pressed a few keys on the register and the drawer popped open.
“Take off the glasses and the hat,” he said.
“Sorry, what did you say?”
He picked up the crinkled bill from the counter and placed it in the register. His hand came back out with a revolver. It had a long silver barrel that gleamed as he turned its gaze on me.
“Did I stutter?” he asked.
I pulled off the glasses and the hat. I slowly lowered them onto the counter and let him stare at me with his piercing eyes.
“Why’d you do it?”
“I have a family,” I said.
He chuckled. “So you run and leave them behind?”
“Better than fighting a war we can’t win.”
He pulled back the hammer on the revolver.
“Watch your tongue. Now you just stay real still until they come to get you and we won’t have an issue.”
“Pl
ease, just let me go! I can pay you double the reward!”
“I’m not interested in money.”
“Then why? Why are you turning me in?”
He kept the gun perfectly trained on me, but I could see his hand shaking. If I timed it right, I could get that gun from him. He picked up his phone and placed it on his ear, holding it with his shoulder.
“Yeah, I’ve got a dodger here. Yeah, hold on one second.”
He held out the phone towards me.
“Say your name.”
I clenched my fists. “Axel Blackwell.”
“You got that? Good, he’ll be here.”
The teller put down the phone and steadied his grip on the pistol.
“I’m turning you in because you’re exactly like me.”
“We’re nothing alike,” I said.
He nodded. “No, not anymore we’re not.”
I waited for his hand to start shaking again, that’s when I would make my move.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that I was like you once. I had a girl, a kid, a bike, and not a care in the world. War or no, you we’re always going to leave. You want to know why?”
I saw his hand starting to quake.
“Why’s that?” I asked.
“Because you don’t care about them, not really. You don’t value them like you should. You’re not cut out for the office job, two kids, and a trophy wife life. Take a stroll with death, though, and you’ll find that they’re suddenly the most important things in the world.”
“I’m not going anywhere. When this is all over, I’m going back to them,” I said.
“Just keep telling yourself that.”
I had enough of this. I swung out with my right hand and gripped the revolver’s barrel. The gun slid out of the shaking man’s hands like it as covered in grease. His eyes went wide as I turned the gun around on him.
“Go ahead, shoot!” he said.
I slid the gun into the back of my pants and shook my head.
“You don’t know me.”
I turned and ran to the door. They would send a special unit to come get me. With that kind of tech I had two, maybe three minutes before they would descend in hover jets and swarm like locusts. I could have stayed, could have gone willingly, but that wasn’t my style. I climbed onto my motorcycle and started up the engine. It grumbled and sputtered, but it held in the end. I fired the gas and shot out onto the dusty road.
I was somewhere in the Midwest. Vast plains of dust and sand stretched out into every horizon. Towering mesas dotted the landscape like strange mountains. I wasn’t on the road for more than a minute before I heard the roaring crackle of jet engines. The agile vehicles tore past me and spun on a dime. Soldiers dressed in full body suits descended from within, rappelling down onto the road in front of me.
I pushed the bike harder as the engine released a roaring battle cry. I wasn’t going down without a fight. I pulled the gun out of my pants and fired blindly into the throng of soldiers. They dove out of the way and created a pathway for me to escape. I made it past their impromptu roadblock just as they opened fire. Bullets soared past me, hissing as they barely missed their target.
I weaved the bike across the road, making it as difficult as possible for them to hit their mark. Of course, these weren’t your standard beat cops fresh out of the academy. These were trained killers. They never miss.
They wanted me alive, but perhaps that plan changed when I opened fire on them. I felt a bullet strike true. White hot pain exploded through my back as my vision went red. I lost balance and tumbled off the bike. I hit the road with my shoulder and rolled into the momentum. My vision thrashed and tumbled until I my head hit the ground just right and everything went black.
The last thing I saw before everything went dark was the picture I took with me when I left. My mind went back to that night on the beach. The sun was setting behind us; Jackie’s scented sunscreen made her smell like coconut. I could feel her in my arms; I could feel the salty air rushing off the ocean. That moment was perfect, I never wanted to leave. Maybe now I won’t have to.
Chapter Five
Jackie
Tyler was nothing like I remembered him, but that was a good thing. In school he was always this lanky awkward kid who clearly had a crush on me, but never knew how to show it. Now he was a suave and chiseled professional athlete. He was the kind of guy you saw on magazine covers and in shaving commercials. I had to admit, he caught my eye when he first arrived.
I was different too, though. I had once been a skinny girl lacking in curves, but now I was a big beautiful woman who had a lot to offer for the right man. Up until he left, I had thought Axel was that man.
Tyler was a sweetheart underneath it all, though. He was great with Jacob and he took really good care of me when I needed help. There was a sexual tension between us from the moment he walked in, and as time went on it only got worse. I saw the way he looked at me, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t return his looks, but I was still hopeful that Axel would keep his promise and come back to me.
That hope started to fade though. Tyler was going to be with us for a year while he recovered and that was a long time to live with that kind of tension in the air. Things progressed slowly, like the pace of a high school relationship. We flirted almost constantly in those first few months. Then there were mornings when I was cooking breakfast that he would come out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.
I stole a glance every time he walked by. My heart started racing when I traced a line down his chest and towards his waist. Part of me always hoped the towel would accidentally slide off. When Jacob was sleeping, we would put on a movie or watch one of my cheesy reality TV shows. As the nights went on we started sitting closer and closer until one night, after several glasses of wine, I found myself laying against him. His arm was draped over my shoulder. I felt comfortable and safe for the first time since Axel left.
It had been over eleven months since he left. They stopped talking about draft-dodgers on the news, but he never came back. Either they found him, or he really did just run away. I didn’t want to think about that, though, I wanted to exist in this moment.
Tyler reached up and ran a hand through my hair. A gentle chill ran down my spine as he delicately massaged my shoulders. On the TV, two contestants on a cooking show were fiercely arguing about the proper way to use turmeric in a dish.
“Jackie, can I ask you something?” Tyler asked.
“Sure, what’s up?”
“It could just be me, but I feel like there’s been something between us over this last year. I didn’t want to say anything out of respect, but I can’t stop the way I feel about you,” he said.
My heart froze solid in my chest. I felt it too, but I was hoping this moment would never come. I didn’t want to choose, I just wanted things to go back to the way they were.
“It’s not just you, Tyler, but I, I don’t know what to do,” I said.
I sat up and looked at him. I stared into his emerald eyes and I realized that even after all this time living with him, I still didn’t know him, not really. Of course, after several glasses of wine, my judgement was impaired to say the least.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” he said.
I felt his fingers run through my hair as he pulled me toward him. At some point, I just let go and gave in to my desires. I fell into his kiss and felt his lips press against mine as his coarse stubble rubbed across my cheek. His confident hands slipped under the t-shirt I was wearing and pulled it up over my head. We broke apart for a moment and I saw a fire in his eyes. Whether it was passion or simply desire, it was a look that I severely missed.
We fell back into each other’s arms. His hands unclasped my bra and it fell to the ground. He cupped one of my breasts in his hand as he laid me down on the couch. He broke our kiss and buried his lips in my neck, gently kissing as he traced a path to my breasts. He took one into his mouth as
his tongue danced around the nipple. With his other hand, he deftly undid the button on my jeans and pulled them off of me, along with my panties.
He threw them both to the floor as he pulled my legs apart. He planted a kiss on my knee, then my inner thigh, and then his tongue slid into me. He gripped my legs to steady himself as he wandered up and began tracing circles and lines with his tongue. With each movement my body shook with ecstasy. Pure pleasure exploded through me as Tyler dug his fingers into my thighs. He showed no signs of slowing down.
I grabbed a pillow from behind me and used it to muffle the moans that eventually became shrieks of uncontrollable pleasure. I lay perfectly still as he stood up from the couch. My legs twitched and shook in the aftermath. Tyler pulled the pillow off of my face and grabbed my shoulders. He sat me up and stood naked in front of me.
“Your turn,” he said.
I reached out and took him into my hand. He reached up and pressed his hand against the back of my head. I opened my mouth and let him slide in. He pushed me forward until all of him was inside my mouth. He held me there for a moment before letting me go. I pulled back and wiped my mouth. He was getting rough, but I actually liked it.
I wrapped my hands around his ass and pulled him toward me. I slid him into my mouth, felt his hips rock backward and then thrust forward again. I let him set the rhythm as my hand descended between my legs. Two fingers, moving slowly, I kept my mouth open and let him thrust into me as my fingers danced.
Muffled cries escaped my lips as I felt another climax rising within me. I pulled him into my mouth as a tidal wave crashed over me. I pulled him out to catch my breath as my legs shook uncontrollably. I felt Tyler grab me by the shoulders and pulled me to my feet. He spun me around and pushed me forward. I threw out my hands to stop the fall and landed on the back side of the couch. I was bent over; he spread my legs apart and reached forward. His hands grasped my dangling breasts and twisted the nipples playfully. I heard him tear open a condom as I stood there in front of him.