The Tropic of Serpents: A Memoir by Lady Trent (A Natural History of Dragons)

by Marie Brennan

  It took only slightly more encouragement to steer his exposition in the desired direction. “Dragonbone, yes,” he said, his Vidwathi accent thickening as his mind raced ahead of his Scirling. “I think it is on the anvil. With so many working on the problem, and the new equipments we have now, we will have answers soon.”

  He showed no sign of secret knowledge, no coy hint that he knew more than he said. Even as I responded, I transferred my attention to the milling guests around us. Guhathalakar’s voice carried well enough that soon the entire room would know we were discussing the preservation of dragonbone. “It would be a tremendous breakthrough, if so. But I confess myself troubled as to the potential consequences, once the problem has been solved. My own interest being in natural history, I cannot be easy with anything that might encourage men to butcher dragons.”

  An indulgent chuckle from my left heralded the arrival of Peter Gilmartin, marquess of Canlan and vice president of the Philosophers’ Colloquium. “But did your own party not butcher a dragon for study in Vystrana, Mrs. Camherst? Indeed, I believe the drawings of that carcass were your own work. Surely it would be beneficial if natural historians could keep dragon skeletons for study, rather than having to obtain a fresh specimen each time they have a new question.”

  His words were sensible, but his patronizing tone ruffled my feathers the wrong way. Still, deference for his rank forced me to moderate the reply I wanted to make. “It is not natural historians who concern me, my lord, but others, who would likely not be satisfied with a handful of skeletons. Humanity is not known for its moderation.”

  “And yet, think of the advances that might come from this discovery. Should we put the well-being of savage beasts above our own?”

  I had an entire article’s worth of reply ready for that, but Lord Canlan gave me no chance to begin. He turned instead to Guhathalakar, leaning forward with a friendly and conspiratorial air. “I should like to talk with you tomorrow, when we are in more scholarly surroundings. Your work interests me a great deal, and I believe I may be in a position to help it along.”

  Had a Vystrani rock-wyrm breathed on me in that moment, I would not have been more frozen. While Guhathalakar made his reply, my gaze was pinned to Lord Canlan, unblinking, as if by sheer intensity of stare I could prove or disprove the sudden suspicion in my mind.

  The marquess was in no position to exploit Kemble’s research himself; his primary interest was in astronomy. But that did not mean he could not benefit in other ways. For example, by selling Kemble’s notes to the highest bidder.

  Did I imagine it? Was the smile he directed at me before moving onward merely more patronizing courtesy, or did it send a private, gloating message that he had what I had lost, and intended to profit thereby?

  He was a marquess, above even Lord Hilford’s elevated station. I could hardly accuse him where he stood—though shock nearly overrode my better judgment and sent the words flying out by reflex. And he had said nothing I could even begin to construe as evidence, let alone expect anyone else to accept.

  I fulminated on this through dinner, for there was no opportunity to step aside with any of my own friends and give them my suspicions. Afterward, though, while Lord Hilford was bidding his guests farewell, I pulled Mr. Wilker into a corner and delivered the tale in a rush.

  “It’s a thin reed,” he said when I was done, and frowned across the room at where Lord Canlan stood.

  Although the words of his reply were scarcely encouraging, I took heart from them nevertheless. There was a time when Thomas Wilker would have scoffed at my fears and chalked them up to an overactive imagination. Now he gave them due thought—even if that thought did not lead him to agree.

  “I don’t know how he would have learned about Kemble’s research,” I admitted. “But you have met him before—is he the sort of man who would flaunt his coup in front of me like that?”

  Mr. Wilker’s grimace gave me my answer. “When it is the project of a woman and a man like me … then yes. He loves nothing more than to put his lessers in their place.”

  An unpleasant personality hardly constituted proof, though. “Will you be at the dinner tomorrow night?” Mr. Wilker shook his head, mouth set in a hard line. Of course not: his sex might grant him entrance to the Colloquium’s premises, but the son of a Niddey quarryman would not be invited to their celebratory meal. “Lord Hilford will have to watch, then. Lord Canlan may be offering the notes for sale, or at least sounding out his prospective buyers. Given how chatty Guhathalakar is, it won’t be difficult to encourage him to say.”

  A muscle tensed in Mr. Wilker’s jaw. “It doesn’t offer very good odds for stopping him, though. We can’t ask Lord Hilford to make a scene.”

  “It’s the best we can do for now,” I said. And left unspoken the rest of my thought: that we might not have any chance to do better.

  FOUR

  Farewell to Jacob—My brother-in-law—Lord Denbow is distraught—Natalie’s escape—Scene at the docks—A woman’s wishes

  I can only blame myself for the incident that occurred prior to my departure from Scirland.

  The rush to depart left me with several dozen matters to take care of, ranging from soothing family to receiving Lord Hilford’s report on the final dinner of the symposium. (He did indeed question Guhathalakar, but to no avail; Lord Canlan had ignored the man all night, much to Guhathalakar’s disappointment.) One matter in particular had me more distracted than most.

  On the afternoon before my departure, Mrs. Hunstin, the nanny, brought my son downstairs to await his uncle and his aunt, who would be caring for him in my absence. Jacob was dressed in a toddler’s tunic, but his hair, a sandy shade that had not yet darkened to his father’s rich brown, was presently bare of the cap clutched in his free hand. The other was clinging tightly to the nanny’s thumb, his eyes fixed on the staircase, which he descended one careful step at a time.

  My mother had accused me of heartlessness, abandoning him to go gallivanting (her word) off to foreign parts. Her accusation was only the first of many, as that judgment eventually spread not only to others in our social circle, but to complete strangers and even the news-sheets. There is no reason anyone should believe me, justifying my behaviour at so late a date, but since I cannot move on without addressing this subject, let me say: a pang went through my heart at the sight of my son.

  I had not been close to him during his rearing; he was not a fixture of my life the way children are for more involved mothers. I found more satisfaction in scholarly work than in the day-to-day tasks of feeding, cleaning, and comforting him. In hindsight, a part of me does regret missing such events—but even then, my regret is an intellectual one. The development of children from soft, formless infants into adults is a complex process, and one I have come to appreciate on account of my dragon studies. (If you read that comparison as demeaning, please understand that, for me, it is not. We, too, are animals: the most wondrous and fascinating animals of all.)

  Despite that distance, however, I was not without feelings for my child. Indeed, I imposed that distance in part because of my feelings. Jacob’s serious expression, focused on the challenge of navigating the stairs, reminded me profoundly of his namesake. As people had told me, again and again, he was in some sense a piece of my husband, something left behind by Jacob the elder. I was not always prepared to deal with the reminder of that connection. And so a part of me chose instead to flee.

  But it does a disservice to my own life to claim the Erigan expedition was motivated by fear. It is equally true, if not more so, to say that I was running toward something, as well as away. Jacob and I had shared a love of dragons, and if leaving his child behind was a betrayal of his memory (as so many people assured me it was), staying home would have been a betrayal as well. We had agreed, on a mountaintop in Vystrana, that caging me in the life expected of a Scirling gentlewoman would be the death of me: spiritually, if not physically. I had been caged for three years, caught in a trap of my grief and obligatio
ns as well as society’s expectation, and the work I did on paper granted me only partial freedom. Enough to make me long for more, but not enough to satisfy.

  And yet I was leaving behind a child. An innocent toddler, bereft even before his birth of one parent; now I proposed to subject myself to any number of potential calamities that might rob him of the second.

  I cannot say whether, given the chance to revisit that choice, I would change my mind. I know now, to a very precise measurement, how great the dangers would be, and how narrowly I escaped them. But I also know that I survived. Little Jacob was not left orphaned, as so many had direly predicted.

  Did I have the right to undertake such risk? I can only give the same answer I gave then: that I have, and had, as much right as any widower in the same situation. Few question the widower’s decision, but everyone questions the widow’s.

  On that day, I buried all such thoughts beneath the press of business. (Almost all of them. The aforementioned pang was real, nor was it alone.) When little Jacob had finished his conquest of the stairs, I knelt on the cool stone of our front hall, putting myself closer to his eye level, and held out my hands. He came to them, hesitantly, after a nudge from Mrs. Hunstin.

  “You must be very good,” I told him, trying and failing to affect the tone I had heard others use with toddlers. “Nanny H will be coming with you, so you must mind her as you always do, even if you are in a different house. I shall write to you often, and she will read you my letters; she will write to me of how you are doing. And I shall be home before you know it.”

  He nodded obediently, but I doubt he grasped the import of my words. That I should go away for a few days was a thing he had experienced many times; that I should go away for months or a year was beyond his comprehension.

  I heard the crunch of gravel before the ringing of the bell. My brother-in-law Matthew had arrived, and his wife, Elizabeth, with him. They came into the hall, and I gently shooed Jacob toward Bess, with Mrs. Hunstin close behind.

  Matthew sighed, looking at Jacob, and shook his head. “I know it’s too late to talk you out of this. But still—”

  “You’re right,” I said, before he could finish that thought. “It is too late. I am profoundly grateful for your assistance, Matthew; never doubt that. But I am going to Eriga.”

  His jaw shifted, briefly giving his face the air of a bulldog facing an unwelcome target. “I never would have predicted that Jacob would marry so obstinate a woman.”

  I wanted to say, then you did not know him very well. But in truth, I’m not certain Jacob himself would have predicted our match, in the years before we met. Antagonizing Matthew would accomplish very little, and so instead I said nothing; I merely kissed my son on the head, admonished him once more to be good, and waved them off down the drive.

  Their carriage, departing, passed another on its way in. The coat of arms painted on the door was familiar; it was the white stag’s head on a blue field of Hilford. The carriage, however, was not the earl’s. I stood in the entrance, frowning, and so had no chance to hide when the door flung open (almost before the carriage had stopped) and emitted the angry form of Lewis Oscott, the Baron of Denbow—and the earl of Hilford’s eldest son.

  “Where is she?” he demanded, striding across the gravel to confront me. “Bring her out here at once.”

  “She?” I repeated dumbly, for my tongue had not yet caught up with my brain.

  “Natalie!” His bellow made my ears ring. “I have tolerated her association with you; until now it did little harm. But this is beyond the pale. You will give her up this instant.”

  My brain had only got as far as knowing who “she” was. Why else would Natalie’s father be here, if not because of his daughter? But the rest still escaped me. I had not seen Natalie in several days—a fact which, in retrospect, should have concerned me. We left for Eriga on the morrow, after all. I had been too distracted to think of it, though, assuming (when I considered it at all) that she must be with her grandfather.

  A foolish assumption, and one that was now having some very unfortunate consequences.

  “My lord,” I said, collecting my thoughts, “I cannot give you what I do not have. Natalie is not here.”

  “Don’t lie to me. Where else would she be, if not here?”

  The accusation set my back up. “With her grandfather, perhaps? I take it she spoke to you about her intentions.”

  He snorted in disgust. “Intentions. It is madness, and you know it. A position as a companion is all well and good for women who cannot do better, but Natalie has perfectly good prospects, so long as she is here to take advantage of them. And you will not want her with you forever. When you tire of her—or get yourself killed, which is entirely possible—what will become of her? No, Mrs. Camherst, I will not allow you to ruin my daughter’s future for your own benefit.” Setting his shoulders, he strode forward.

  I slapped my hand against the doorjamb, barring his way with my arm. “Your pardon, Lord Denbow,” I said, with icy politeness. “I do not recall inviting you in.”

  This sudden and brazen resistance startled him, but he did not let it slow his tongue. “I am here to collect my daughter, Mrs. Camherst, with your permission or without it.”

  “If she were here, I would be glad to broker some kind of negotiation between the two of you. As she is not, you will have to seek her elsewhere. I will not suffer you to rampage through my house regardless.”

  He was not so far gone as to try and shove me aside, though he very easily could have done so. His fury thwarted for the nonce, he resorted to persuasion. “Mrs. Camherst, please, see reason. You are determined to put yourself in danger, regardless of the consequence to your family; very well. I have no authority to command you to better sense. But I can protect my daughter, and I will.”

  “Lord Denbow,” I said, moderating my own tone to suit his. “I have told you, she is not here. I have not seen Natalie in days. Should I see her before I leave, I will tell her you came, and advise her of your concerns. That is all I can promise.”

  He deflated visibly, like the punctured bag of a caeliger. “I am sure she is coming here. Please, might I—”

  “I will tell her you came,” I said firmly. Had he not attempted to thrust his way into my house, I might have been more tolerant; as it was, I wanted him gone. “If I see her.”

  With that, he had to be content. By then the footman was hovering behind my shoulder, looking distressed at the prospect of having to forcibly evict a baron from the premises, but determined to do so if necessary. (Clomers was a very good footman, the best I ever had.) Half-fuming, half-dejected, Lord Denbow returned to his carriage, and so away.

  Once he was well down the drive, I deflated a bit myself. “If he comes back, do not let him in,” I said wearily to Clomers; and, having received his stout agreement, I went upstairs to my study.

  Natalie was sitting in front of my desk.

  I very nearly swallowed my own tongue at the sight of her. While one part of my brain sorted out the contradictory impulses of gasping, shrieking, and demanding an explanation of her, the rest noted certain details: the open window on the side wall, overlooking a fine (and easily climbed) oak tree; the fierce and frightened look in Natalie’s eyes; the small valise on the floor at her feet.

  “He locked me up,” she said, sounding almost as if she could not believe it. “We argued for days, and when I told him I was going whatever he said, he locked me up. Him and Mama. I am sorry to have made you a liar.”

  “She only lies who tells a falsehood knowingly,” I said, as if such distinctions were at all the most relevant thing at hand.

  Natalie drew in a breath, and the unsteadiness of it advertised her distress. “I fear I have made a great deal of trouble for you. I came here intending to go with you tomorrow—but if I do, Papa will be infuriated.”

  If she did not, then she would have little choice but to return to her family. And while they might have what they perceived as her best interests a
t heart, the disjunct there was severe enough to send Natalie up my tree and through my window, and who knows what else before that. Her actions, more than any words, told me that return was simply not to be borne.

  Her grandfather might protect her against the worst of it—but a better protection would be to go beyond her family’s reach. “Your father will have to be infuriated in Scirland,” I said, the dryness of my tone covering for any temporary quailing of spirit. “He doesn’t have a visa for Nsebu, and isn’t likely to get one anytime soon.”

  Hope kindled new life in her posture. “Do you mean—”

  “The ship leaves tomorrow,” I said. “We must think of how to get you on it.”

  * * *

  We smuggled her on board by way of the workers’ gangway, where her father would never think to look. With Natalie dressed in the clothes of a laborer (yes, trousers and all) and a sack of potatoes on her shoulder, Lord Denbow never had the slightest chance of spotting her.

  He was there, of course, and made a great protest, insisting to the gathered members of my family (Paul and Judith; my mother and father; my favourite brother, Andrew; Matthew and Sir Joseph, who was my father-in-law) that I had kidnapped Natalie.

  “I have not kidnapped her, my lord,” I said, covering my nervousness with irritation. In his distress, he had not yet thought to ask me outright whether I had seen his daughter. If he did, I would have to make up my mind whether to lie, and a sleepless night of pondering that very question had failed to supply me with an answer.

  I had kept my word, if only halfheartedly, talking with Natalie of his concerns. The conversation had failed to divert either of us from our course. My one source of apprehension was that I had no opportunity to speak privately with certain individuals, namely, Mr. Wilker and Lord Hilford. The former would be coming with me on this expedition, and the ear not occupied by Lord Denbow’s furious expostulations was being filled with my mother’s insistence that in addition to it being madness for me to go abroad, it was even more mad to do so without any kind of female companion. Marriage had provided me with a mystical shield against impropriety, one not entirely lost with widowhood, but she still feared rumour. (In fairness to her, I must say she was right to do so. But I get ahead of myself.)