Caesar

by Patrick O'Brian

  As it was freezing, a firm crust had formed over the top of the snow, so if I kept my feet well splayed out I could travel about with ease; but I feared that my master, with his boots, would sink into one of the deep drifts and never be able to get out. I searched for the least clue of his whereabouts all day without success, as I was afraid of going too far from the camp site, in case he might return.

  Towards nightfall I became aware of my extreme hunger, so when I observed a troop of wild goats and mountain sheep coming down one of the dangerous paths (which they seemed to prefer) towards me, I ensconced myself in a hollow which I rapidly scooped out of the snow, and when they passed I darted out and seized a small fat one, which I took behind a small rock and there consumed.

  When evening was coming on the sky became threatening and dark, and as I feared another storm I went up towards the entrance to the tunnels and went in. I was determined not to get lost again, so I only went as far as the place where all the tunnels met, and there I chose a dark corner of the square.

  To my surprise I found that the place was littered with a lot of dry ferns and grass, and there was a scent about the place which I could not recognise. I thought perhaps I had lain down here in my wanderings the day before, for the scent was very like my own, but on second thoughts I saw that it was too fresh to be mine.

  However, I did not worry about it, but fell to thinking what a safe place this would be to live in when one got to know all the passages and caves.

  Then I wondered where my master was, whether he were still looking for me or whether he had lived through the snowstorm. I feared he would not, for his skin even with all his clothes was scarcely sufficient protection against such severe cold. I also wondered whether we should ever go hunting again together, or whether I should ever see my mistress or the children again, or if I should ever play with the ball any more.

  In the middle of all these melancholy thoughts, however, I fell asleep, and did not wake up until the next morning, when I got up, and after washing myself I went to the stream and had a drink. In the tunnels there was twilight all day and utter darkness at night.

  I roamed all round and round the passages which honey-combed the mountain and soon found the exit again. At first the dazzling reflection of the sun from the snow quite blinded me, but I regained my sight and continued to search for my master.

  As the hours passed without any signs of him, and I felt quite sure I should never find him again, my loneliness can hardly be imagined, for after a year and a half of his company I had got so used to his voice and presence that I could hardly believe that I was parted from him.

  The great white stretches of pure snow broken by occasional bare rocks comforted me, however, and the exhilarating air of the mountains felt strange in my nostrils after the thick air of the plains.

  Then I ascended to the very highest reaches of the mountain, and I thought I saw some smoke coming from far away to the south. But I was not sure, for a bank of cloud rolled in, obscuring my vision.

  I did not leave the mountain for fear that I was wrong and that my master might return to the site of the old camp in my absence.

  At midday I returned to the cave and I slept until night, when I came out, and after about half an hour I had a fat goat. After eating it I went down to the stream for a drink. I thought I saw another animal just leaving on the other side but was not sure, so soon I went back to my cave and presently went fast asleep.

  Seventeen

  For the whole of the next fortnight I searched for my master, even going down into the plains, but I never found even a trace of him. Then I began to lose all hope of finding him and turned to hunting. I spent more time in exploring the tunnels, which I soon began to know quite well.

  They consisted of two main caves, one above the other, each with a great many tunnels leading off them, and they were connected by one main tunnel.

  In the top one there were quite a lot of holes in the sides which let in light, but they also let in snow and water, so I always lived in the bottom cave. Also in the top there were images of men squatting on great flat stones, which frightened me. Some of them had six arms, and one of them had an elephant’s head, and they were all very much larger than any live men that I had ever seen.

  On the sides of some of the passages there were some pictures which looked something like men, but I could not be quite sure. And in one of the tunnels which led nowhere there were a lot of skeletons of men, but there was no meat on them, as they had been dead many years and some of them were falling to dust. Often I thought that I saw a creature of some sort, but I was never able to catch it, and I did not think it ever saw me, or if it did, it never attacked me, so I did not worry about it, as there was plenty of meat running about on the mountains.

  One day, however, as I was going into my cave I heard a growl from the corner, and turning in its direction, I saw a pair of green eyes staring at me, and in the pitch dark of the corner I could not make out what it was at first, but when it bounded towards me I observed that she was a snow leopard nearly as big as myself.

  She appeared very thin and hungry, and evidently she was trying to frighten me away from the goat which I was carrying, and I saw that she was wounded in the right forepaw. Then she saw that I was no enemy and she made friendly noises.

  In a short time we had made friends, and I let her have some of my goat. It appears that she had wounded her foot on a porcupine a week before, and had hardly been able to get enough food, as it hindered her running powers.

  I think she had lived in the tunnel nearly all her life, hunting in the valley and between the first range and the main mountain. As I was feeling very lonely we played together, and in the morning we went out to hunt.

  When she came out into the daylight I saw how beautiful she was, with her white coat and the black line on her ears which extended down to her forehead and made her look very fine. She seemed to know this and also admired my spots, and I saw that she had quite a lot of intelligence.

  When we sighted a solitary sha, which was feeding behind a rock, I felt that here was a chance to prove to her how clever I was.

  So pushing her into a snowdrift I set off after it. It sighted me sooner than I expected, so I gave chase, running at top speed, and killed it just in front of her. She pretended to be looking the other way, but I could see that she was much impressed, and I drew myself up with pride at my fine size and strength for her benefit.

  Hearing no appreciative purr, in answer to all my fine postures, I turned and saw that she was sitting with her back to me and was starting to eat the sha.

  I was justly enraged as I saw that she was eating the best part, which is, in my opinion, the shoulder. So stealing up behind her I gave her a sharp nip in the tail, and she relinquished the shoulder to me.

  After this we went down to the lake, and I saw a red panda, who made off on seeing us.

  Then she showed me a rock from which one could catch fish, and she tried to do so by crouching on the rock which overhung the water with one paw hanging down, but with no success.

  As I had done this once or twice in the stream outside my first home I thought that I could show her how it was done, so I got on to the rock, and after waiting for some time I saw a fish. Then I darted down my paw to scoop him out, but I over-reached myself and fell in, much to her amusement; in fact, the foolish thing made quite a noise, as if it was funny. I also saw the red panda on the other side of the lake looking highly amused.

  Presently we went back to the cave where we slept. As night was coming on I woke up before she did because she kept grunting and rolling in her sleep, so for a joke I suddenly jumped on her and roared in her ear, but curiously enough she didn’t see the joke, though it was very funny. She appeared quite offended and cross. Some leopards, I thought, can never see a joke against themselves.

  Soon she recovered herself, and as one small goat was hardly enough for a whole day, we went out, and between us surprised a small troop of sheep and goats and sec
ured a large fat one.

  I picked it up and began to go home, but my greedy companion thought that I was going to make off with it and tried to snatch it away. I calmed her, and when we reached the cave I let her have the shoulder, to her very great content.

  Eighteen

  For a year we lived together hunting in the valley and living in the main cave of the tunnels, and in spring our four cubs arrived.

  At first my wife would not let me see them, but as I hunted nearly all day and night for food for both of us, at last she showed them to me. I have never been so proud and happy all my life as when I saw the four little cubs.

  They were the most beautiful creatures that have ever been born, of that I was firmly convinced.

  Their eyes were not open then, but I thought they looked even better for that. They could hardly walk, and as they went sprawling about they made the most delightful little noises.

  Soon my wife drove me away, however, and as I did not sleep in the main cave for fear of disturbing the cubs, I went out into one of the side passages and slept for a few hours at a time.

  I woke up suddenly with a sense of guilt, for I thought she might be wanting something to eat. So I went very quietly through the cave and out into the open. I encountered a large wolf, who was looking down the tunnel, but he cleared off as I came out.

  Then I went up towards the big mountains, where I knew most of the game had gone. As it had been a very hard winter, which was continuing into spring, I had driven off all the goats within miles of the cave. I had to go farther afield, and recently a large wolf pack which usually hunted twenty miles down the valley had come up nearer to us, also some snow leopards. Both helped to clear off the game. So as my wife was very fond of bharal meat I had to go right over the valley for it. As I went I thought that if the spring weather did not come soon we should have to move our quarters, which might be bad for the cubs.

  Presently I reached the usual path down which the bharals used to come to get to their favourite feeding-place, but I was forestalled by a snow leopard.

  It was plain that he had not seen me, and by the code which my mother taught me I should have left them to him, but I thought that my cubs’ health was far more important than that of the snow leopard, who had no family.

  So I concealed myself behind a boulder and waited for the bharals. Presently one came along, and I thought that if I let this chance go it might get the scent either of the snow leopard or myself, so I jumped out, but it saw me at once and fled towards the snow leopard, who seized it and then stood growling at me. I thought for a few moments and then, seeing that he was not very big, I charged.

  We closed, and the leopard, after a few minutes’ struggle, managed to get a grip on my throat with his teeth and slashed at me with his long claws. But I got one paw under his head and I pushed with all my strength.

  For a few minutes I felt the claws raking into my flesh, but then there was a ripping sound as the skin and fur that my enemy was holding gave way. His head slipped back and I sank my teeth deep into his neck. He gave a coughing roar and blood spurted all over me, and he fell to the ground with his limbs twitching.

  Presently, when my fury died down, I became aware of the horrible pain of the cold on the bare flesh of my throat, and the blood streaming from the wounds in my flanks.

  I was too exhausted to do anything, so I lay down in the snow for a little and watched the blood of the leopard flowing down the slope in many little streams, melting the snow as it went. I picked up the bharal and went towards home.

  When I reached the cave my mate smelt my blood, but she did not leave the cubs, but she purred to me when I put the bharal down. Then she licked me all over, and after the pain had subsided I went to sleep.

  In a short while the smallest cub began to crawl over to me and woke me up.

  I growled sleepily, and received a sudden bite in the ear from my wife as a reproof.

  Nineteen

  In a few weeks my wound healed, but I had to hunt far and wide for meat of any sort, as the winter did not break, and even the goats went farther down to the warmer slopes. Meanwhile the cubs were growing and had opened their eyes, and soon they would be needing meat.

  My wife was quite strong now, and she could have helped me only she would not leave the cubs in the cave alone, in case they would hurt themselves or get lost, or anything which she seemed to fear might happen to them.

  They were going to be very big, and I hoped the spring weather would come before they wanted meat and got their enormous appetites, but it did not come. Every day I had to go farther, and stay longer, until sometimes my mate grew quite anxious.

  Then one day the largest cub ate a piece of ibex and my wife felt proud of it. At first he sniffed it and played with it, then with a gulp he swallowed it whole. He choked and coughed as if he would burst, but he got it down at last.

  In a few days the other cubs followed his example, and I worked myself to skin and bone in getting their food.

  One day my wife came with me, when they were all asleep, and we got enough meat to satisfy their extraordinary appetites. They gorged themselves until we had to stop them.

  But this was a lucky day, for on the following two days I was unable to get anything except one half-starved goat, and the cubs were quite unsatisfied.

  Next day I went out early in the morning, and I went right across the valley to the lake, over which I crossed, as it was frozen stiff. On the other side I found a porcupine, but though he had tender meat, I thought I could do a little better than that.

  So I went on, and presently I came to the bottom of the range of mountains which formed the other side of the valley, and they stretched up into the sky with their peaks hidden in the clouds. I went straight up, for I hoped to find a pass through which I could reach the farther and still loftier mountains, where there was sure to be food.

  After the first gradual incline of the grassy slope I reached the snow-line, where I felt more at home, with the great bare boulders sticking up into the firm snow, looking as I thought rather like the ears of a huge panda. Soon I reached the place where the crest of the mountain could be seen, with its tremendous height thousands of feet above me, and I felt very small.

  While I was looking up I nearly fell down a crack in the mountain side, so I proceeded more carefully, and I looked around for a pass, but I could see none, and it looked as though I should have to climb right up to the place where the peak detached itself from the main range. But this meant the loss of nearly half a day, so I looked very carefully for any means of shortening the distance.

  The district over which I was now climbing was almost perpendicular, with many deep and dangerous ravines, and littered with many huge rocks, one of which started rolling as I passed by, as its base had been so worn away that the slightest push started it off. It gathered speed as it rolled down, taking huge bounds when it met other rocks, and on its way it moved many more, which went thundering down.

  I watched them until they appeared no larger than pebbles, then I continued my course, thinking how like a panda’s life was the course of the boulder down the mountain side.

  At this point of my thoughts I nearly fell down another ravine, so I concentrated on climbing.

  The cold here was intense, but I did not mind that so much as my inability to find the pass. Then all at once I saw about five hundred feet above me a deep cleft in the mountain side which would lead to the other side.

  Soon I reached it and saw its remarkable formation. It looked as if the whole mountain had cracked and made a rift nearly a thousand feet deep. I quickly got through, thinking how horrible it would be if a rock got loose up at the top and fell on me. On the other side of the mountain I found myself on a gentle slope of snow going down about twenty yards before ending in a precipice of terrible depth beyond which there was a high icy plateau extending for miles to the north, and beyond that fold after fold of the great mountains as far as I could see. On the other side of the precipice I could see
some ibex leaping from rock to rock.

  I ran along to the place where the plateau joined the mountain and I crossed. Having stalked the ibex for the best part of an hour I at last separated one from the herd, and after a thrilling chase I killed it very near the edge of the precipice.

  Being ravenously hungry I was just about to make a meal when I remembered why I had killed it, and picking it up I took it back to the pass homewards. Soon I reached the valley, and when I got to the lake I rested and looked at my ibex, which was very fat and no doubt tender, but I refrained when I thought of the cubs.

  As I crossed the lake the ice cracked beneath me, but I was glad, for I thought the warm weather would soon come. I also saw some very small green sprouts on the banks.

  As I reached the other side the wind changed, and I heard a distant howling of the wolves. I went slowly onwards and heard the wolves more clearly and thought that they had been lucky enough to get some big animal who was putting up a fight. I knew that only eight of the pack had survived, as all the weakly ones had been killed, and the remaining eight were the largest and strongest.

  Then I wondered when the ice would break up on the lake, but my thoughts were interrupted by the roar of my wife. I answered, and started forward at a trot, then rounding a boulder I made for the opening of the tunnel, from which I could hear the roars of my wife, mingled with the howls of the wolves. Dropping the ibex, I rushed forward, and on entering the tunnel I saw what was happening at a glance.

  The wolves had attacked my mate in the cave, and while five of them engaged her the rest were catching the cubs, one of whom was already dead.

  With a roar I charged, and three of the wolves came to meet me. One leaped at my head, but I dodged him, and in a moment I had him by the neck and he died, but in the meanwhile one of the others had seized my leg and was pulling me down. I roared to my wife, and then more wolves heaped themselves on to me, biting and clawing wherever they could reach me.