by Lexi Ostrow
“Told you I was ready.”
He bit the inside of his cheek to not smile at the cocky little boy. “Right then, can you tell me what you’d do if you wanted to stop?”
“That’s easy. I push down on my toes!”
“Close and that’s only one way.” He stood next to Parker and turned, mimicking being on a board. “You’re going to want to swing your body, gently, so your board is sideways.” He jumped to facilitate his explanation. “Then you’re going to keep your body centered as you carefully push down on your toes. What happens if you lean forward?”
Parker cringed. “I wipe out.”
Smirking he laughed. “Exactly.”
“So who’s ready to skip the snowboarding shenanigans and help me make a snowman?” Anna called out as she walked down the path to their left, holding up a box and smiling.
“I do!” Parker shouted, the excited motion toppling him backward onto his butt.
Anna bit her lip, the suppressed laugh turning her face red as she set down the box. “Well then, let’s get you detached from that horrible contraption.” Squatting, she helped Parker un-velcro and free his feet.
She’s really good with kids, he thought as he watched her smile and ruffle Parker’s short hair. He’d always wondered what she would be like with kids. If how she dealt with annoying preteens matched how she would deal with a screaming toddler, he knew she’d be perfect at it.
The loud boom of the Death March blared from one of Parker’s pockets. He didn’t bother to answer his phone, just let the person keep calling. “Oops, that’s my dad’s ringtone. Guess he’s looking for me.” He sounded sad, as if his day was ruined now that he couldn’t make the snowman with them. “Merry Christmas to you both!” he said before turning and racing farther down the hill and to the left toward where his cabin must be.
Smiling, Anna began to pull items out of the box—a few black buttons, a pair of red and a pair of green mittens, three pipes, what appeared to be a few broken black hangers and two scarves, both red and white stripped.
“How come you never told me the lodge had a section of snowman boxes?” She dropped her hands onto his hips and fixed him with what likely was supposed to be a serious stare, but a smile played on her lips.
Laughing, he doubled over and held his stomach, letting the humor roll through him. He hadn’t laughed so hard in many years, and it all seemed to spill out—over a box of snowman supplies. At some point, he heard Anna’s loud laughter mingle with his. They both dropped into the snow, still chuckling, but now at each other.
Doing his best to open his eyes, he saw Anna’s head tossed back in amusement, cheeks red from not taking too much air in and her eyes lined with tears from laughing so hard. Coughing to clear his throat he tried to speak around his enjoyment at her.
“You look ridiculous laughing at me.” He choked the words out in one sentence and sucked in a deep breath of air as her laughter continued to draw his out.
Giggling, she swiped at her eyes and took quite a few breaths before she finally spoke. “You should talk! You looked like you were going to pop an aneurism or something. That little red spot on your forehead, the Angels kiss thing, brightened up and your face contorted so much you looked like the Joker gleefully enjoying his latest act of villainy.”
Still laughing, he tried to force himself to stop, blowing out a raspberry as he did. Anna let out a high-pitched squeal before laying back in the snow, giggling some more. He could scarcely feel the cold as he lay down beside her, taking her hand in his.
She stopped laughing then and wrapped her hand around his before turning to him with a smile. “I feel like I’m back in high school when I’m with you.”
“I’m hoping that’s a good thing because I’m sure as hell rooting for you to get to talk to that British boy of yours sooner rather than later.”
She traced her hand down the side of his face and smiled again. “How about we make those snowmen?”
Pushing up with one hand while he held hers in the other, he looked into the box. “I don’t remember saying we’d make two.”
Anna smirked and dropped his hand to go pile snow together. “Well, Leena always makes an entire freaking family of snowmen with Jake, so we better make two so we don’t let her down!”
Chuckling, he bent over and began to scoop snow together. “I think I’m starting to love Christmas all over again,” he said with a wink as he threw a snowball at her ass.
“Oh, hush!” She flicked snow at him that stood no chance of hitting him. “Let’s make some snowmen!”
The slightest tinge of orange colored the horizon when Marshall looked up from tying the striped scarf around his snowman. Tugging it slightly off centered for quirkiness, he turned and saw Anna slipping the red mittens over the black hanger pieces.
“I think we better get back to my place and change. If I remember correctly, Christmas dinner at the DeMarco’s is promptly at seven, and it’s almost five.”
Anna stepped back from the snowman she was working on and shoved him backward before taking out her camera. “Let me just get a quick picture of them and then we’ll leave them for some kids to find.” She moved to stand between two snowmen, turning the phone to face her. “Are you coming?”
Shaking his head, he dutifully stood next to her, taking what was their first photo together in ten years—save for the one they’d taken at Leena’s wedding last year.
“Marshall! Pay attention and smile, damn it!” She elbowed him playfully before pressing the round camera shutter button. “Okay, we can go back to your place now.”
“You don’t want me to just return your pajama’s when I come for dinner?”
Her face twisted in mock horror. “And have Leena find out I played in the snow without her? No thanks. She’d be upset even if she wasn’t pregnant.”
“After you then,” Marshall playfully spun his hands dramatically and pointed them in the direction of his cabin.
Tugging her hat farther onto her head, Anna started to walk. “Thanks for today. I don’t think I can tell you how much it means to me that you’re being understanding about this.”
“Anna, I’ve wanted this for so long I don’t care how you want it done. I’m just glad that something changed.”
“That something was you planting one on me as I was trying to get closure.” She kicked some snow in his direction.
“I’m completely okay with that. All’s fair in love, war and all that, right?”
“I don’t even understand it, Marshall. For years, we avoided each other, but all it took was one kiss to open up a flood gate and the waters of emotion came rushing back.”
“I wouldn’t say they were gone just because we were avoiding each other. We were avoiding each other because I behaved like a fool the last time we were together, and you didn’t know how to act because of that.”
She nodded slowly. “I just feel like we acted like such children. Even now, I feel like I’m back ten years ago and not the adult I’ve grown to be. You do that, you know? Make me feel like everything is the same.”
“I don’t know if that’s good or bad.” He gave her a side smile as a strange emotion slammed into him. It wasn’t quite regret, but it was something close as it wrapped around him and made him feel uneasy. “We’ve grown so much, and I don’t want to dishonor Mandy by pretending to pick up right where we left off.” The words spilled out, harsher than he’d meant them to be, but important. Just because his wife was gone and he was getting to try with Anna, it didn’t mean he loved Mandy any less, because he didn’t.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that that part of your life didn’t happen.”
“Why didn’t you ever come to see me after she passed?” The question hurt to ask, but he’d been so blinded by her change of heart he hadn’t bothered to ask. He’d been too afraid to talk to her about anything previously, but now that it was out in the open, he did want to know the answer.
Her back went ramrod straight, and she st
opped walking.
“Anna?”
“I was afraid too.” The words were almost swallowed by the small breeze. “I was so jealous when I heard through the grapevine that you’d married then, when she was gone nearly as quickly, I didn’t know how to act. I wanted to see you. You have no idea how many times I’d planned to come talk to you. Yet, every time I started to call you, I’d worry that we’d say something to piss the other one off, and I didn’t want it to turn into that.” She started walking again, her body still stiff. “I’m lying. I know that now. I didn’t call because I knew a part of me wasn’t sad it happened. A part of me was hoping it would give us a chance.”
She looked at him, still walking by his side as tears filled her eyes. “I just didn’t want it to shadow your grief and make me feel like a terrible person.” She rubbed at her eyes. “Because that’s how I felt, Marshall. Your wife had passed, and I was almost more happy than sad about it because it meant there was a place for us again.” She shook her head, sending a tear onto his face. “I couldn’t be that person. It was easier to just act like I didn’t want anything to do with you.”
“I don’t know what to say, Anna.” He wrapped her in his arms, tugging her against his chest and holding her close. He could feel himself damn near exploding with happiness, knowing she’d wanted this as long as he had, but another part of him was angry she hadn’t even tried to talk to him because of it.
“I loved Mandy, but it’s always been you. Even when I was with her, there was always a small part of me that belonged to you. She gave me so much in the three years we were together. We got married quickly because I was afraid to lose someone I felt so strongly about, and I’m glad we did because it only took two years for her to be taken from me. But I never want you to feel guilty about your feelings for me. I won’t feel ashamed of still wanting something with you. My life with Mandy was wonderful, but it was never what I was meant for.”
It was like a weight lifted off his shoulders when he finished talking. Every day he’d spent with Mandy, he’d loved, but Anna had always been there in the back of his mind. When he’d lost his wife, he’d grieved, but as the years had passed, he’d found it harder and harder to forget Anna—even though she’d had no problem interacting with him as little as possible.
They walked in silence then, with just a small nod from Anna. It didn’t feel good. In fact, it felt as shitty as his life had felt after walking away from her and after losing his wife. All of a sudden, they were in front of his house, her twisting the knob to let them in.
“I’m sorry, Marshall. I shouldn’t have been so afraid of looking like a bad person. We waited so long, and maybe we needed to in order to get to this moment. But I feel like I let you down by not being there and by pushing you away to help me get on with my life.”
Stepping inside behind her, he tugged the door shut, and the action vibrated through his arm with the force of it. His hands gently went to the sides of her face as he pulled her to him, pressing his lips against hers.
Sensations shot through him—lust, contentment, and stronger than anything, love. As his lips moved over hers, tenderly seeking entrance to deepen the kiss, he knew for certain he was still in love with her. Dropping his hands from her face, he tugged her against him, and when she parted her mouth slightly, he slipped his tongue inside and tangled it with hers. Her hands wrapped around his neck as they kissed each other like they had ten years ago. Nothing mattered except for the woman in his arms. Not time apart, not ridiculous boundaries, not living in different countries. All that existed was him and his Anna. His because she’d always belonged to him and him to her.
The room seemed to spin with memories painted on the walls as he kissed her and saw their past. From their first kiss over a melted marshmallow while roasting them for s’mores, to the night they’d lost their virginity together, to the final kiss under the stars before he’d walked away from her. Everything played back—each moment more vibrant than the last.
They went on like that, holding one another and kissing in his entryway until he remembered that she’d asked him to wait. What he’d done wasn’t fair. Untangling himself from her, he fought to not growl at the loss of their touch when he broke the kiss. He’d meant to tell her that they could wait, that he wanted what was best for her.
That wasn’t what slipped out.
“I’m going to make love to you, Anna,” Marshall rasped as he dropped a kiss to her lips. “That’s what this will be because I’ve never stopped loving you.” His eyes stared into her eyes as he spoke, watching the depths of emotion surge and swirl in the blue of her irises.
“I love you, Marshall. I’ve always loved you too.”
Her lips slanted over his then, giving him all the permission he needed to make his Christmas wish even better because hearing her say she’d loved him had already given him everything he’d wanted for Christmas.
She was dizzier than she could ever remember being as Marshall’s scent, pine and spice, wrapped around her. Her cheek brushed against his beard, and she moaned from the sensation. She was kissing Marshall the man, not Marshall the boy and nothing had ever made her life clearer. Everything was alive thanks to his touch, and when he’d said he loved her, there had been nothing stopping her from confessing the same. Marshall had held her back from everything, though he’d never tried because she’d been in love with him since she was young.
Her inhibitions vanished, along with her choice to wait until she broke things off with Adam. She didn’t want to wait. Her heart wasn’t in their relationship, and finally giving into what she wanted with Marshall wasn’t going to change that. She’d feel horrible when they were done, but for the moment, all that existed was them. She was tired of ignoring what she’d so obviously always desired.
Marshall let out a deep, possessive growl, and she felt a chill shoot through her. He’d never been pushy, but he’d always known how to take what he wanted and how to make certain she saw stars when they were together.
As their kiss deepened, tongues swirling together in a heated dance, she heard the pull of a zipper. She realized Marshall had undone the snowsuit when she felt a small touch of the wintry cold, despite them being near the fire, as it slipped off her body, leaving her in just her undergarments. Breaking the kiss for just a moment, she stepped out of the suit and unhooked her bra, letting the white, utterly unsexy bra slip down her arms.
“I’m regretting not putting something…sexier on,” she whispered.
Marshall dropped a kiss to her collarbone before looking up at her, heat reflecting out of his eyes that had nothing to do with the fire blazing mere feet from them. “There’s nothing I don’t find sexy about you, Anna.” His fingers looped around the waistband of her plain, red underwear and tugged, exposing her completely. “You’re everything to me.” He kissed her neck again before getting out of his snowsuit. “You could be covered in mud and smelling like a trash bin, and I’d still want you.”
She laughed, allowing the humor in his statement to break through the sexual tension. “I don’t think that’s an appealing image, but I like the sentiment.”
His mouth found hers again, devouring her in a heated kiss that set every nerve from her head to her toes firing. That was what she’d been missing with Adam—fire. Effortlessly, he lifted her off the ground, never breaking the kiss or his stride until he set her down on his bed as she wound her arms around his neck.
The softness beneath her was a scintillating contrast as Marshall’s firm body covered hers. Wetness formed between her legs as she felt his erection drag over her naked center through his boxers. Greedily, her hands trailed down his body and jerked at his underwear, rapidly removing them and allowing his shaft to rub against her, skin to skin.
“Marshall,” she gasped against his lips as the sensation flooded through her.
She could feel him smile in response before he pulled away, leaving her cold. When he leaned back over her a moment later, a purple package was in his hands. Running h
er hand over his cock while he opened the condom package, she grinned as he twitched.
“Let me,” she said as her eyes locked with his and she reached out for it.
Sensually, she slid it over his shaft, rolling it down with a torturous slowness that she knew was driving Marshall mad by the way he grunted and bucked his hips at her. Finally reaching the base, she ran her fingertips back up his length, enjoying how he felt beneath her fingers.
“Thank you for being safe.”
“It’s always been my job to keep you safe.” He suckled her left nipple into his mouth, drawing a low groan from her before he pulled off and offered the right the same loving touch. “I haven’t been able to do that for a while, but I promise you, I always will.”
Her heart melted. For as long as she could remember, Marshall had taken care of her family, had taken care of her. When she should have been alone, he’d been there for her. She hadn’t been for him, but that was going to change.
Losing herself in the sensation as he scraped his tongue over a pebbled nipple, she thought of nothing but his touch. Her back arched, pushing her lower body closer to his as his tongue dragged across her other nipple before covering her lips once more. Mouths pressed close together, she sighed, trying to memorize every feeling. Slipping her hand between them, she found his shaft, hard and ready. Rubbing her thumb over the tip, she wrapped her hand around him and stoked his cock, her motions in rhythm with their tongues. All the while, her mind spun from the pleasure of him touching her. She’d missed everything about Marshall, especially his touch.
Cold rushed over her face as Marshall pulled away, his hands trailing down her body as he looked lower. The quick brush of his hair across her stomach sent delight through her, but not as much as when his warm lips pressed against her inner thigh. She hadn’t realized she’d opened her body to him until that moment. He nipped the inside of her thigh, and she groaned, threading her hands in his hair.