Sue

  A dark look crossed Melvin’s face. “Still there? Like still in your heart?”

  “No.” Her denial was vehement, maybe too much so. She pushed past it, waved her arms around in a vague pattern. “Just still out there.”

  He relaxed. “Oh, that. Well then, he can’t come between you and me in any significant way. He’s just a criminal who hasn’t been caught. Yet.”

  Sue cupped Melvin’s face in her hands. A soft agony twisted inside her and she spoke with earnest desire. “You know what? I wish I’d met you first.”

  He wrapped her in his arms. “Me too. I’m just glad we met at all.”

  The next natural step would have been to make love, to consummate their fledgling romance, but they didn’t. They curled up together, cuddled and kissed, each delighting in the touch and feel of the other. Drunk with the freedom to experience her, Melvin cradled her to his chest, caressed her, and gazed at her with wonder.

  Sue responded in kind. Tasted his lips, ran her fingers through his soft hair, breathed in the warm scent of his skin, explored with eager hands his chest and arms and shoulders. It was a passionate and thrilling start to a new chapter in their lives, if Sue could only let go of her obsession with Zeke. If only he’d be caught. Or killed. Then I could really live again.

  When she walked Melvin to the door that night, she put most of her heart into their goodnight kiss. Most, not all.

  Chapter 32

  Sue knocked on the motel room door, heart pounding. She clutched her purse to her chest, the heaviness of the gun inside a righteous evil waiting to be unleashed. Long seconds passed, as if time had slowed. Then the door opened and there he stood. His brilliant blue eyes moved tenderly over her face and his lips curved in a slow smile. Her legs nearly buckled.

  His hair was blond now and he had a scar on his cheek, but he was still beautiful. In fact, more striking than before. The black hair had not done his complexion justice, had given him a sallow cast. But now he was fair-haired, his skin was golden, his eyes a deeper blue, indigo, penetrating. “Susie,” he purred, his voice deep and melodious as ever. Mesmerizing. “Come here, Bunny.”

  She should kill him now, get it over with. But she had to know if he still moved her. If so, she would have him again. She longed to sink into that magical feeling, just one more time, to pretend it was real. With a moan, she melted into his arms and he pulled her into the room. She dropped her handbag to the floor as his lips claimed hers, tender, seeking. Explosions of desire ignited under her skin, flooded her with an agony of discordant emotions. She buried her fingers in his hair. It was silky; not stiff like before. She succumbed to the familiar scent of his skin, the heat of his body, the magnetism that radiated around him like an aura. His tongue gently probed her lips and she drew it in. Drinking the taste and feel of him left her breathless, intensely aware of his hands sliding beneath her sweater.

  She’d kill him later. After. “Zeke,” she moaned. “Ah, god. Zeke. I’m so glad you finally called me.”

  “I’m so glad you came. I wasn’t sure if you would.” He lifted her easily into his arms and carried her to the bed. “I’ve missed you so much. You’re mine, Sue, always and forever. In your heart, you know it’s true.”

  “Yes,” she whispered. “Till death.”

  Standing over her, he removed his shirt and her eyes traveled his perfect chest, well-defined abdomen, and lower. He undid his jeans, but didn’t remove them. Climbing into bed next to her, he lifted her sweater. Ran kisses over her belly, sucked lightly at her skin, sent her senses reeling.

  A sudden chill passed over her as images from the past flew unbidden into her mind. Zeke forcing drugs on her. Zeke angry, sarcastic, cruel. Daisy’s cold grey head in its sad shallow grave. Brenda’s mangled body. All desire evaporated and her head cleared. Bile rose in her throat and she swallowed hard to keep from vomiting. Her pulse sped up, thundering in her ears as fear replaced the insane bliss of the previous moments. She’d come to her senses and was now in a terrible fix.

  As Zeke worked his way down her belly with his mouth, she looked over his head to her purse on the floor. With his usual insight, he perceived the change in her mood, felt her attention wander. He looked up at her with annoyance, brows drawn together. He followed her gaze and then returned his eyes to her. Slowly, he stood to loom over her. “Need something from your purse, Sue?” The ominous tone she so dreaded was back in his voice.

  Sue cowered on the bed, withering under his hateful, challenging stare. Gone was her newfound courage, her confidence, her training, her resolve. She clenched her fists and rolled quickly from the bed, ready to make a stand. Hopefully she could reach her purse and grab her weapon before he started hurting her. He...

  The phone rang, interrupting her fantasy. “Hello,” she croaked, then cleared her throat. “Hello?” She was sticky with perspiration and flushed as if struck by fever. Her bedroom was dim, warm.

  “Sue? Were you sleeping?” Melvin’s cheery voice chased away the shadows in her mind.

  “I was kind of drifting, not really asleep. But that’s okay.” She sat and swept her hair off her damp forehead. “I need to get up anyway.” Sue paused, trying to focus, attempting to throw off the fantasy that seemed so real. “What’d you need?”

  “Nothing. I just wanted to talk.”

  “Oh, okay.” She squinted at the clock, surprised to see it was nearly five p.m. She’d have to hustle to get her daily research out of the way. She wanted to see if any more women had gone missing. Then there was a show on television she wanted to watch later. Sue propped the phone against her ear as she slipped on her shoes and tied them.

  “I got my term paper done and finals will be over next week. I thought we might celebrate.”

  “A celebration sounds good. What do you have in mind?”

  “Let’s go out to eat at Lobster Bay and then dancing at Finney’s. You do dance, don’t you?”

  “Like a maniac.” Sue smiled. “You might be embarrassed.”

  “Because you’re so good or because you’re so bad?”

  She chuckled. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

  “Well, that’s something more to look forward to then. Next Friday okay?” They agreed on a time and then Melvin asked, “What are you doing tonight? I thought I might drop by.”

  “Don’t you have to study?”

  “Yes, but I could do it at your place.”

  Sue hesitated. If Melvin came over, it would interfere with her internet time; she couldn’t very well hang out on the computer with him there. She was torn because a part of her wanted very much to see him. But finding Zeke was her mission, and Melvin, without meaning to, was beginning to diminish her drive in that regard. She could feel her slavish devotion to the goal of vengeance slip a notch or two each time they were together. Happiness had begun to sneak in here and there and she wasn’t entirely ready for that yet.

  “Sue? Are you still there? Do you have plans for the night?”

  “What? Oh, just watching TV. Come on over, if you want.”

  “Okay. I need to grab a bite to eat first.” Melvin sounded unsure now.

  She could put him off a little bit, buy some time. “Let’s plan on seven, will that work?” That would give her time to scan several sites before he arrived. If she didn’t do it every day, she felt uneasy. She’d programmed herself to the point that the effort was ingrained, almost on autopilot. Search every day. Search until your eyes blur. Then search and search some more.

  “That’s great. I’ll see you then.”

  After they hung up, Sue fixed a sandwich, opened a can of soda, and sat before her computer. She ate while she worked but didn’t come up with any new reports of missing women. She and Melvin had decided to wait until this semester was completely over to start exploring abandoned buildings. Hopefully he remembered; she might have to remind him he’d promised to do the research. They’d have plenty of time; he’d already told her he didn’t plan to take any summer classes, other than a semin
ar or two, because he wanted to be available for her. The memory of his words warmed her, almost distracted her from her purpose.

  Melvin arrived at exactly seven o’clock, as she knew he would. With a flourish and a mock bow, he presented her with a sheaf of papers just inside the front door.

  “What’s this?” She skimmed the first page.

  “Abandoned buildings and old houses.” He smiled proudly. “Thought I’d forgotten, didn’t you?”

  Sue stared from the papers to Melvin and back again. Talk about timing.

  He took them from her hand and walked to the coffee table where he spread them out. “Look here. I started with the St. Louis area because we know for sure Zeke was there. Then I worked my way east and north, all the way up to Cyrus. Some of these I already had from when we were trying to find you.” He shot her a look before continuing. “Anyway, we could start with the closest places, say, explore a few each weekend, and then spread out, going a little further each time.”

  “Brilliant!” Her eyes sparkled with excitement. She picked up one sheet after another and stared at the pictures, read the descriptions. Then she came to one that made her hands tremble. “Oh! I was at this place, Melvin.”

  She handed him the sheet on a school outside Assaria, a Vermont town about six or seven hours away. “Zeke and I spent the first night there. It’s a creepy place. We stayed in the van. He wanted to sleep in the building, but it was too cold. The wind howled all night, sounded like a bunch of ghosts wailing in the dark.” She shivered and her eyes took on a faraway look. “That was the first time I noticed his blond roots and realized his hair was dyed black. I commented on it and he didn’t take it well, got angry. But then he said some crazy thing about wanting his inside to match his outside. Because he was dark.”

  Melvin looked at her with an expression of mirth. “Wow, he was really into himself, wasn’t he? A drama boy with a line of total crap.”

  Sue’s face was stiff. “Hey. I fell for it, okay? I guess I that makes me stupid.”

  Melvin was immediately contrite. “No, no. I’m didn’t mean to imply that. I’m sorry, Sue. I shouldn’t make light of it; I know he’s a dangerous man. I guess I was just a little jealous.”

  Her features softened. “You have nothing to be jealous of, Melvin.”

  “Sometimes I really resent the guy.”

  “I don’t blame you there; I resent him too.” She patted Melvin’s arm and started to turn her attention back to the coffee table and its contents.

  “What are we doing here, Sue?” He put a hand on her arm and looked into her eyes. “Do you really think we’ll find him? And what if we do? Are we going to hold him down until the police get there? Somehow I don’t think he’d just go along, wouldn’t just let that happen. So, what’s really the deal?”

  Doubt crept in. He’s right. What am I doing? For a second or two she simply drew a blank. Then her head cleared and her determination returned. “We’re just making sure he’s not hanging out at any of the places, planning some kind of assault on me. I can’t get rid of the feeling that he’s coming for me.”

  “What makes you believe that?” Melvin asked. “Have you received any more mail, or calls?”

  Now would be the opportune time to share her research, but Sue wasn’t ready to tell him her theory, that Zeke was killing his way back to her. She shook her head. “Probably just paranoia.”

  “Remember the old saying: just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.” He chuckled lightly. “You went through a lot. I guess it’s only normal under the circumstances that you’d be freaked out. I can see that. But why do I get the idea you’re holding out on me?” Melvin raised an eyebrow, only half kidding.

  When Sue finally replied, she kept her voice level. “Here’s the thing. If there is going to be a confrontation, I’d like it to be on my terms. Not his. I’d rather be the one prepared for it and initiating it instead of reacting to it…like a victim. I want the element of surprise to be on my side.”

  “I guess that makes sense.” He touched her hand, gaining her full attention. “You know... Will’s still looking for him. He checks on things in his spare time. He hasn’t given up just because he’s off the case.”

  “Really?” Sue felt a wave of gratitude. “I had no idea. Has he come up with any leads?”

  “Not that I’m aware of.”

  “Have you told him about this? About you and me looking for abandoned buildings?”

  Melvin reached under his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and looked away. “No. But I should.”

  “Why? Can’t it just be something we keep between us?”

  “For now. Sure.” He looked uncomfortable. “Anyway, we still on for next Friday?”

  “Absolutely. That is, if you ace your finals.”

  “I won’t know by Friday whether I passed. But if I don’t study, I darn sure won’t do well.”

  “Then let’s put this aside for now and you get cracking on those books.” She swept the papers into her hand and carried them into the bedroom to her desk. When she returned, she picked up the remote. “Now I want to watch a show. Will that distract you?”

  “Not at all.” He unzipped his backpack and pulled out a book. “I’ll just block it out.” He tapped his head with a finger and grinned. “I have massive powers of concentration, you know.”

  His innocent gesture sparked a flashback and she was jolted. In her mind, she felt the phantom of Zeke, jabbing her head with a sharp finger while he criticized her intellect. You know how impulsive you are. Not very bright. Short on brains. Think, Einstein! His voice echoed in her memory. Her spirits started to plummet but she sternly reined them in, refusing to permit the lingering influence of Zeke to ruin a perfectly pleasant evening. How I hate him sometimes!

  She managed to hide her moment of distress well. Melvin never picked up on it as he leaned back, and began reading. He looked up as Sue joined him, remote control in hand. “What about you? Do you plan on going back to school?”

  “Someday. Maybe.” Sue pushed the button and the TV came to life. An annoying commercial popped up on the screen and she hit the mute button. “I’ll probably go back. I’m just not ready yet.”

  “Have you decided on a major?”

  “Not really. I’ll figure it out later.” She kept her eyes glued to the television.

  Melvin took the hint, ready to drop the subject. “Well, there’s plenty of time.”

  “Yes. Lots of time.” She relaxed and restored the volume.

  Melvin turned back to his book. They spoke little the rest of the night. He took his schoolwork seriously, and Sue lost herself in the program. Sometime during the next few hours, she ended up next to Melvin, his arm draped loosely around her shoulders.

  When they kissed goodnight at the door, he lingered over her willing lips. She almost invited him to stay the night, but resisted the impulse. After he’d gone, she lay in her bed staring at the ceiling for a long time, surfing the waves of emotional confusion. She pulled out her journal and wrote for half an hour before turning off the light. When she finally slept, it was a fitful slumber.

  Chapter 33

  Two things happened the following week that prompted her to fill several pages in her journal. On Monday when Sue pulled up in front of the office, she noticed a client standing outside the door. As she drew near, he lit a cigarette and the smoke floated on the morning breeze, a hazy reminder of Zeke. The smell pierced her, filled her with sudden wistful longing that she couldn’t seem to shake all day.

  And then her father called her at work on Wednesday with news of a visit from her aunt Ginger and her aunt’s long-time friend, Marge. “We’d like you to come over for dinner tonight. You haven’t seen Ginger in over a year and she’s asking about you.”

  Sue leaned back in her chair and fiddled with the hem of her blouse. “Ah, Dad. I don’t want to be around them.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ve told them not to ask questions about your circumstances. They�
�ve promised not to bring it up.” There was sadness in his voice. “She’s my sister, Susan. You used to idolize her. I’ve never figured out what happened between the two of you.”

  “Nothing happened, Dad. I just grew up is all.”

  “Well, if you don’t want to come, you don’t have to. But it would mean a lot to me.”

  Sue gazed out the window at the trees lining the parking lot. They were just beginning to bud out and the summer promised to be beautiful. Yet inside, she crawled with unpleasant feelings, remembering not only the cruel words she’d overheard when she was a child but also sharing that painful memory with Zeke. He was wrapped up in so many parts of her life. But no part of this was her father’s fault and he shouldn’t have to suffer for it. Steeling herself, she came to a decision. “Fine. I’ll be there, but I don’t want to stay very long.”

  Her dad sounded relieved. “That’s okay, honey. If you just make an appearance, that’ll be enough.”

  Sue arrived that evening, nerves jangling under her skin and tension squeezing her belly. Aunt Ginger hugged her tightly, enveloping her in a cloud of perfume, while Sue barely returned the embrace.

  “Let me look at you, sweetie.” Ginger pulled back and examined Sue carefully. “My god, girl, you look fantastic! I love your new hairstyle. Makes you look so glamorous and grownup!”

  Her effusive praise only made Sue more uncomfortable. First of all, Sue was convinced it was disingenuous for she clearly remembered Ginger’s cutting words so many years before. Secondly, she could see the frank curiosity in her aunt’s eyes. She might not ask about Sue’s experience with Zeke, but she wanted to. She wanted it so badly her nosiness emanated around her like an odor.

  From the floral sofa, Marge nodded at Sue and raised her hand in a short wave. “Hi, Sue.” She sat with her legs tucked under her, in her usual peasant blouse and long skirt. She’d taken to wearing small round John Lennon glasses and they made her look like some kind of insect.