No thanks. She didn’t need to be one of his conquests, another notch on his belt. That stupid warm feeling when she looked at him and took the bags would have to be the last time she allowed it. If she could overcome her long yearning for Kevin, she could quench this silly inclination right away. It had been so nice to be friendly with Mark lately. Why did he have to ruin it?
Well, she wouldn’t let him, nor would she allow him to think she was fair game as a distraction. That’s how he appeared to view relationships with women. Nope. Not for her. She popped up, ready to work. She shut down all thoughts of Mark and his motives, concentrating instead on her talk with Mr. Barlow.
Surprising enough that two years ago he’d okayed her salvaging from the restaurant and said he didn’t care how she used it, but now he wanted her to speak to his son about it.
“Your son?” she’d asked.
Mr. Barlow nodded, his expression turning serious. “Mickey’s in his last year of college now. Says he knows a fellow student named Rick and the two of them want to co-author a paper about food waste and possible local solutions. For their social policy course. Rick mentioned something about you and some other people and now Mickey wants to meet with you. I told him I’d ask.”
Julie relished the idea of more people working on the problem of food being wasted and needless hunger. “I think that would be wonderful.”
Mr. Barlow beamed at her, surprising her with the warmth in his eyes. She marveled that his son showed an interest in social issues. Who’d have figured that? They passed congenial minutes talking about some of Mickey and Rick’s ideas and concerns.
She hadn’t expected college students to be aware of the food waste and hunger problem, but apparently Rick was interested in more than just gleaning food for himself and his friends. A twinge of excitement rippled inside. College students showed such energy about issues that grabbed them. The more hands to work, and the more minds to find solutions, the better. Maybe someday she’d be able to take college courses herself, like Dad and Mom wanted her to.
She’d heard them say often that a hungry child anywhere should be a thing of the past, with all the technology and transportation ability in the world. They said if people put as much effort into helping each other as they did trying to kill or profit from one another, the earth would be as God intended. Until then, they told her, we can only do our best.
Now that they were retired, they did volunteer work, using some of their own meager funds to augment the supplies at their church’s food pantry. Julie wanted to make them proud, find a way to feed more people. Sometimes her efforts seemed so tiny and unimportant, but she’d never quit. Even if she’d only end up helping a few people, at least she could do that much. Like Grandma always said, “Every little bit helps.”
Her throat tightened. She missed Grandma as much as she missed Uncle Jim. A rapid knocking sounded on her door. She hurried to it, hoping it wasn’t Mark.
“Hey, Casey.” The boy’s face appeared stressed, the skin tight around his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t find Dad.”
“Can’t find him?”
“Mom took me back with her for a week’s visit, but I made her bring me home early ’cause I missed Dad too much. She dropped me off, but Dad’s not home. And he already left work hours ago.”
Panic surged through her. Kevin, where are you? He’d never fail to be home if he knew Casey’d be there. “Did you tell him you were coming home?”
“I texted him on the way, but he didn’t answer yet. He’s not answering his phone, either. I’m scared.”
She couldn’t help him by admitting how frightened she was, too. “Come in and sit down a minute, okay? I need to think.”
Casey perched on the edge of the couch, watching her and chewing his lip. She finished packing the bag for the freegans and sat next to him. “Does he ever go anywhere after work?”
Casey shook his head. “He always comes right home and we eat dinner. I checked and it didn’t look like he came home or made dinner today. Everything’s quiet.” Casey’s face crumpled in panic and he wailed, “Where is he?”
She drew him against her, quenching the tears that threatened. “Don’t worry, Casey. We’ll find him.”
God, please help me. Give me some guidance. What should I do?
Casey’s voice trembled. “What if he got in an accident? Or his leg gave out and he tripped and fell, maybe hit his head or something?”
She tried to turn off those mental images, and remain calm. “I know. I’ll call the police and ask if there’ve been any accidents. Okay?”
Casey nodded, tears streaking down. The panic in his eyes almost stopped her breath. Please God, make sure Kevin’s okay.
She made calls, while her stomach flopped like a fish out of water, dreading the bad news she might hear. No reported accidents, no injured males rushed to the hospital. Thank God.
She patted Casey’s shoulder and told him. He gazed up at her. “I don’t want to go home and wait for him alone. I’m too scared. Will you come with me?”
“Tell you what. You take this bag to the bakery and give it to Zach. I’ll call a friend and see if I can borrow his car, and we’ll drive around and see if we can’t find your dad. How about that?”
Casey nodded, grabbed the bag and hurried out. The only person close by with a car who she knew was still up was Mark. Guess he was technically her friend. She picked up her phone and scrolled through the numbers. Chris gave her Mark’s cell number the day he bolted from the restaurant, but he’d never answered either of them that day.
Discomfort dogged her at the thought of enlisting his help, but everyone else lived miles away and was probably in bed. Besides, emergencies didn’t seem to rattle him. Guess there was a plus side to being a casual person.
“Hello?”
“Mark?”
“Julie, is that you?”
“Yes. I have kind of an emergency and I knew you’d still be up. Any chance I can borrow your car for a while to locate a friend?”
A slight pause stretched while she waited. Please.
“My insurance only covers me as a driver...so, I’ll come over and drive you around. Is that okay?”
She squirmed. It was hard enough asking to use his car. But have him drive her around? She really wasn’t in the mood for his flippant comments about everything. But she needed the help. Casey counted on her.
“Okay, if you don’t mind.”
“No problem. It takes me a long time to relax after work, anyway. I’ll be right over.”
“Thanks.” She set the phone down. Well, that was easy. What a puzzling remark. He had trouble relaxing? He seemed like the type to fall asleep in no time. Everything else appeared to come easily to him. The only time she’d ever seen him rattled was that one day he’d rushed out and come back looking so odd. She stood and reached for her coat. It was pretty nice of him to drop everything and come over. Sometimes he surprised her.
Outside, she met Casey as he hurried onto the porch, his breath fast. “Zach says thanks and he hopes everything works out all right.”
She nodded and sat on a chair. Casey peered at the street. “Aren’t we going?”
“My friend from work will be here soon. He said he’d drive us around. While we wait, let’s try and figure the best places to look.”
Casey hunched in a chair, brows descending. Her heart warmed with love for the boy. Julie didn’t need to ask Casey if Kevin had been despondent with him gone. She knew how important Casey was to him. She’d never forget the expression of absolute adoration in his face whenever he held his baby son. The sharp pangs of jealousy she’d felt back then had filled her with shame.
It was bad enough to fight off the envy she felt for Sheila, but to be jealous of a baby turned her stomach with disgust at herself. But God answered her frantic prayers and cleansed her of the ugly emotions. Now it didn’t bother her much to remember those agonizing days and their burden of feelings she could hardly bear. What a r
elief to be free of them and able to love Kevin, Sheila and Casey the way she did now.
Casey shifted and stared over at her. “Maybe he went to play cards at Aunt Ann’s house. He goes there once in a while on Fridays, and takes me with him. I play video games with Alex.”
“We can drive over and find out. Can you think of anywhere else he might go? With someone from work?”
Casey shook his head. “Nah. He says most of the guys are single and go out after work. He says he doesn’t care to carouse. I like that word, don’t you?”
Julie smiled. “Your Dad’s always been fascinated by words. He used to make me laugh in English class, making up pretend meanings for words we had to look up whenever we read Shakespeare.”
“Dad loves Shakespeare. He’s always reciting stuff like, ‘What a piece of work is man.’ And then he adds jokes to it, like he sure knows men that are pieces of work.”
She laughed, forgetting her fears for a moment, and hoping Casey did the same. Kevin must be all right. He was probably making everyone laugh at his sister’s house right now. Her shoulders relaxed with the mental picture.
A quick beep sounded and she glanced down the road. Mark pulled up, fallen leaves swishing around the tires as he came to a stop. “Hop in.”
Julie followed Casey as he hurried down the steps, his limp not slowing him down. “Hey, it’s Mark.”
Mark grinned. “Hi, Casey. How are you?”
Julie stopped. “You know each other?”
Casey nodded. “We met at the clinic. Dad was awful tired and Mark helped us get home.”
Didn’t sound like Mark. Julie stared at his smiling face.
He said, “Well, get in folks. Where are we going?”
Casey climbed in the back. “To my Aunt Ann’s to see if my dad’s there.”
Mark gestured at the front seat. “C’mon, Julie.”
She’d rather sit in the back, but rounded the car and slid in. Mark turned to her. “Directions?”
Casey rattled off the address and Mark steered onto the road. Empty soda cans clanged and rolled around her feet when the car started forward. When she glanced down, Mark said. “Sorry. Haven’t cleaned the car in a while.”
Julie spotted an empty plastic bag wadded on the floor, and reached for it. “No problem. I’ll bag the cans up for you.”
“Oh, don’t bother.” Mark sounded uncomfortable.
She flicked a glance at his stern expression. “It’s okay. Gives me something to do.”
He cracked a smile and she found herself admiring his profile before she bent to gather the cans. Okay, he was handsome. Big deal. She concentrated on snagging the empties behind her feet while they neared their destination.
“I don’t see Dad’s car anywhere.” Casey’s voice dropped to a near whisper at the end, followed by a sniff.
Julie straightened and scanned all the cars along the block, the worry she’d tried to ignore gripping her heart again. An idea popped in her mind. “The park by the lake. He likes to sit and watch the water. Maybe he went there.”
“Yeah.” Casey’s voice rose. “Let’s go there, Mark.”
“Okie-doke.” Mark made a deft turn at the intersection and motored toward the lake.
Past the park entrance, Julie made out a familiar blocky outline. Kevin’s Volvo.
A delighted sound erupted from Casey and he chortled, “There he is.”
Even after their headlights shone on him as Mark swung the car next to the Volvo and parked, Kevin never moved. A sudden, strong desire to protect Casey filled her, and she said, “You wait here, Case. I’ll tell him we’ve been looking for him. That’ll give you a minute to get calm now that we found him.”
“Well…okay.”
Julie gave him a grin and exited, forcing her body to move with serene motions, while inside the dread grew so strong she had to will her legs to go forward. Even through the window she could tell Kevin’s skin was chalky. His jaw was slack, eyes closed. Maybe he was just drunk, but she’d never known him to get so drunk he passed out.
She opened his door and touched his face. Cold and clammy. Her breathing stopped, while her mind clouded with panic and her knees shook. She fought it and reached a trembling hand to the side of his throat. A small uneven thud beat beneath her fingers. Tears flooded out and strength returned to her. “Kevin? Kevin wake up. Casey’s here.”
Not even a flutter of his eyelids. She gave his shoulder a gentle shake. It felt bony. He’d lost so much weight since he came back from the war. Pity for all his pain caught her breath, but she spoke again, louder. “Kevin, wake up. Casey wants to see you.”
Still nothing. The horrible dread roared back. Without thinking, she shouted, “Mark, come here.”
Two car door slams sounded behind her. She wanted to shield Casey, but he wedged his body past her and laid his hands on Kevin’s chest, patting it with soft urgency. “Dad, Dad, it’s me. Time to get up now.”
He raised panicked, round eyes to Julie. “Why can’t he hear me?”
Mark ran around to the passenger side and climbed in next to Kevin’s still figure. He rested his ear against Kevin’s chest, and then straightened, reached in his pocket and punched numbers into his phone.
His calm voice requested an ambulance and answered questions, while Julie tried to brace her trembling limbs and stay strong for Casey.
“Julie, what’s wrong with Dad? He always answers me.” Casey’s tear-filled voice shored up her sagging bravery. He needed her.
“I don’t know, but the emergency people will help.”
Please God, keep Kevin alive.
CHAPTER TEN
Mark hurried down the hospital corridor behind Julie and Casey, Kevin ahead of them on a stretcher. Kevin’s unresponsive body and white pallor tinged with blue made Mark fear the worst. Possible imminent death from alcohol poisoning? His heart quailed at the thought. Julie and Casey were already emotional wrecks.
But maybe it wasn’t alcohol poisoning. Unlike the strong smell of whiskey the first time he’d met him, he’d detected only a mild beer scent emanating from Kevin tonight. A person accustomed to alcohol would need to drink an awful lot of beer to get poisoned. He’d spotted three bottles on the floor of Kevin’s car, with three more still unopened in the six-pack at his feet.
Kevin might have other health problems. The 911 operator wanted to know, but Julie and Casey answered that he didn’t, other than an old leg injury. The paramedics found a prescription bottle on Kevin, and gave a grim nod at each other after reading it. Kevin wouldn’t try to kill himself, would he?
One of the paramedics looked familiar, and Mark almost asked him what they thought, but decided not to interrupt their hurried activity. Poor Casey. The boy’s face was almost as white as Kevin’s, and Julie didn’t look much better. He hated the helpless feeling of not knowing what he could do to ease them. Lighthearted jokes and sarcasm always seemed to amuse people, but not here, not now.
The two tactics always appeased and distracted his father’s erratic temper, as long as the sarcasm wasn’t directed at him. Mark became a virtuoso at defusing impending ugly scenes with a well-placed joke or wry observation. Other than cooking, it was his only talent. But neither of those would help Julie or Casey.
A slender, middle-aged nurse stopped them near some double doors and spoke in a kind but firm tone, “Let the doctors do their work.”
Mark laid a gentle hand on Julie’s arm. “She’s right. Let’s go sit in the waiting room.”
Julie shook her head. “I’d rather go to the chapel.”
Casey gazed up at the nurse, tears starting. “Please let me go with Dad. I promise I won’t get in the way, honest I won’t.”
The woman patted his shoulder. “Of course you wouldn’t. But it’s hard for the doctors to concentrate with extra people around. As soon as your dad’s better, someone will come and get you, all right?”
Casey gulped, glanced down the hall where Kevin had disappeared, and gave a short nod. “Okay.”
The nurse asked Julie, “You’ll be in the chapel, then?”
“Yes.”
While Mark followed Julie and Casey, it bothered him how the nurse made everything sound so easy. What if Kevin didn’t get better? Was it fair to make Casey think he would? Mark studied the boy. His panic had receded. He supposed the nurse did a merciful thing. Mom always said, “Where there’s life, there’s hope.” Kevin was still alive.
The chapel, a small pretty room with soft lighting and a large stained-glass window, exuded a quiet hush. Julie went straight past the lines of pews to the front, and dropped to her knees, head down. Casey knelt beside her. Mark stood a moment, and decided not to intrude. He sat one row back, resting his arms on the back of the pew ahead of him, eyes closed. He rested his forehead on the back of his hands.
Other than lately, I haven’t prayed much for a long while, I know.
The admission caused a surge of discomfort when he realized most of his lifelong prayers consisted of short, desperate pleas for assistance. He’d always admired people who prayed for others as though it was for themselves. Only a small portion of his were ever motivated that way. Remorse filled him. Tonight he put his whole heart into his words.
Please help Kevin. Help him live and recover. Ease the pain he suffers with. And help Casey and Julie, please. They’re so frightened.
He let his mind wander over remembered scriptures about healing, while Julie’s soft sobs receded, and he opened his eyes to see that her shoulders were no longer trembling. Casey sniffled and wiped his eyes, then put an arm around Julie, and asked in a wavering voice, “Can God listen to both of us at the same time?”
Mark couldn’t help a small smile. Julie ran her sleeve along her eyes and said, “Yes, He can. The birds sing all at once, and each of them can be heard, can’t they? Or when people sing or play music. You can hear all of it even if it’s at the same time.”
Casey sat back on his heels. “Julie, will God help Dad even if he’s a drunk like Mom says? She says you can’t expect God to listen to you if you’re a drinker.”
A Work in Progress Page 7