by Lynn Landes
“Where were you?” he asked.
“I tried to stop them. I grabbed Nashca, and the soldier pulled me off by my hair,” her hand reaches up to her head. “I can’t, Harris,” her entire body is quaking as she shakes her head, “not yet,” and reaches for the towel. “Turn around,” she mumbles.
“It’s a little late now,” Harris grumbles but does as ordered. Glaring at his back, she squeezes the water from her hair and stands, wrapping the towel around her body. Before she can step from the tub, he turns and lifts her in his arms and carries her to the bed.
“God, we need to feed you more,” Harris teases. “You’re as light as a feather.”
Exhaustion beats at her, and she doesn’t fight him. She lays her head against his chest and listens to his heartbeat. “Ahote liked my body just the way it is,” she yawns.
Harris stiffens, “What?”
“We were married on the banks of the Snake river, it was beautiful.” Her lips curve, “Ahbe’ was not happy, he met us with a war party.” Harris sits on the edge of the bed with her, and when the trembling starts again in her body, he grabs a blanket and wraps it around her.
“What happened?”
“Both tribes came to the River.” She stares at the wall lost in thought, “Ahbe’ was angry that Ahote took me without his permission.” Her eyes flick to his when she feels his body stiffen, “He asked me first. I shouldn’t have said yes.” A tear slips free, and she breaks eye contact.
“It wouldn’t have changed the outcome, Kimani.”
“Vanessa,” she reminds him.
“This is not your fault,” Harris says and snaps at her when she tries to break free. “No, you’ll hurt your leg.” She stops immediately.
“You don’t understand, Harris. They were all standing at the river to meet us. Two war parties, I couldn’t have planned it better for them.”
“Now, if I remember correctly, they also did that for morning prayers,” he interrupts.
“Yes, but this morning, was because of our kweethu.” At Harris’s look of confusion, she translates, “Our Marriage. Ahbe’ gave his approval to Ahote, right before the bullet hit him. Ahbe’ threw his body on me to protect me,” she sobs and presses her face into his neck. Harris cradles her neck and kisses her head while she grieves.
“Oh, babe, he did what any father would do, he loved you.”
“I know,” she weeps softly and falls asleep in his arms.
“God, show me how to help her,” he prays softly and rocks her in his arms. The bits of information she’s giving him is painting a horrifying picture, and he will need more answers soon.
He lays her gently on the bed and stares down at her. Emotions batter him as he thinks about her marrying another man. She said no to him before the spring tribal. Now is not the time to allow offense into his heart, but it is still a blow to his ego that she would agree to another man. Harris frowns and runs a hand through his long hair. Guilt drives him from the cabin. If he had convinced her to marry him, he could’ve saved her this heartache.
Trent is in the barn mucking the stalls. “Is it possible to buy a horse from you for Vanessa? We will need to leave soon. I don’t want to place your family in any danger.”
“Of course.” Trent closes the last stall and walks over to a stall and points to a mare. “She’s gentle and strong.”
“Perfect. I hate to ask, but it would be better if you didn’t tell anyone about Vanessa.”
“I understand. My wife told me she was a witness to a massacre. She’s lucky to be alive.”
“Yes, she is, and I mean to keep her that way.”
“Where will you go?” Sutton asks walking up behind them.
“I’m still working on that. I won’t risk taking her back to my family ranch.”
Trent pulls out a map and spreads it on the bench. “You thinking what I’m thinking?” Sutton asks.
“Yep.” He slides a finger over the map, pointing to a star inked on the map. “Here, Fort Conner.” At Harris’s look of confusion, he explains.
“A few years ago, a miner claimed to have struck gold near the Southpass. Thousands rushed here only to discover he’d lied.”
“It was a mess,” Sutton grumbled. “Lucky for you, it’s abandoned. There are cabins still standing, but the Fort is empty. With enough supplies you could rest a few days and ride to Fort Steel, it’s a one-day ride, at the most and they have a major railhead.”
“That could work. We could go anywhere from there.”
Sutton glances at him and frowns. “With one tracker looking for her, and the possibility of Indians you may not make it to the Fort. If this plan fails, there is a small trapper’s cabin, in the mountains.” He points to the spot on the map.
“It’s not easy to find, we built it that way on purpose,” Trent explains the route to the cabin. “The grass-covered roof helps to shield it. You will find a wood stove and supplies to get you through about two weeks.” Harris nods and thanks them both. They plan for another hour before heading back to the main cabin.
“Forgive me for sleeping so long,” Vanessa asks as Molly gently brushes the tangles from her hair, leaving it loose. Her scalp can’t handle being pulled tight. The women have supplied her with dresses, nightgown, shoes, and underclothing.
“Nonsense, you need to heal. That takes time and rest,” Molly insists.
“This is beautiful,” Vanessa says softly, looking in the mirror. The woman staring back at her shows no resemblance to the Indian she’s left behind. Though big on her the navy-blue dress with its trim waist is warm and comfortable. She refused the corset; her ribs are not ready for that. Her eyes look huge in her face, and the bruises stand out against her pale skin.
It is humbling to be a part of such kindness, yet a strange line to walk. Being raised Indian but born white. Do they think less of her because of her history?
“I don’t know how to thank you for everything,” Vanessa says softly.
“You have nothing to thank us for. Compassion is a human trait, is it not?” Molly hugs her softly and offers to walk her to the main cabin.
“I don’t know anymore. What kind of human beings kill so mindlessly…” her voice fades as the scream grow louder in her mind. She forces them back and whispers, “Never mind,” before falling quiet.
“Child, I know that look. I’ve seen it reflected in many eyes. You’ve seen the worst in humanity. Allow yourself time to heal. Talk to Harris and let him help you.”
“No. I won’t let Harris get hurt because of me. I don’t even know why he’s here,” she retorts.
“Don’t you?”
Vanessa is shocked by Molly’s bluntness.
“Life is short, Vanessa, as you well know. Anyone with eyes can see that man is crazy about you. At some point, you’re going to have to make a choice. Are you going to live in the past or fight for a new future?”
“Billy asked if he could walk with us,” Melody says knocking on the door and pushing it open, interrupting them.
“That would be nice,” Vanessa walks slowly to the door thankful for the interruption and opens it, stepping out into the fresh air.
“Wow!” Billy jumps up from his chair, “You look beautiful, Ms. Rivers.”
“Thank you, Billy. Call me Vanessa. I feel better, thanks to your family.” Vanessa smiles at the young man.
“Dad’s waiting at the main lodge with your man,” Billy says.
Vanessa flinches at his comment but doesn’t respond. “Let’s not keep them waiting.”
“If it’s too hard on you, Ms. Vanessa you just say so, and we will leave, right Mom?” Billy asks.
“Absolutely.”
They walk across the yard slowly, and Vanessa listens to Billy explain about the sheep herding business. “The dress I’m wearing, is it from your sheep?” Vanessa asks.
“Yes, the wool commands a high price,” she explains with pride.
“I’ve never felt anything so soft.” Vanessa runs a hand over the sleeve. �
��Our clothes come from the buckskin, it is heavier and warmer than this, but not as soft. I’d love to see the process some time.”
They smile at her excitement and walk her up the front steps of a large log cabin. “This is our main house, we use it for meetings, parties, church, weddings, and funerals.”
Inside a massive stone fireplace sets the scene. A huge fire crackles and the men rise when they enter. Harris hurries to her side and offers his arm.
“Thank you,” she murmurs as he walks her to an armchair near the fire. They have tea set out, and Vanessa declines it before looking at Harris.
“What’s going on?” she asks nervously.
“We need to leave in the morning. I think this family deserves to know what they’ve gotten involved with,” Harris explains.
Vanessa glances at the people who saved her life, but fear has her glancing back to him. “Are you staying with me?”
“Of course. You’re safe with me,” Harris promises and takes her hand in his.
“Okay,” she latches on to his, savoring the warmth and comfort before sitting back with relief. “What do you need to know?”
Her trust touches his heart. “I will tell them what I know, and you fill in the rest, okay Ki- I mean Vanessa?” Harris asks.
Trent, Sutton, Trent’s Father all sit back to listen as Harris tells them about Simon, the soldier who came in for treatment. When he speaks about the guns, Vanessa grows agitated.
“General Barclay, that was his name. He wore the uniform of a soldier, but he’s nothing more than a butcher.” Her voice trembles when she speaks. “Harris, he ordered that no one be left alive. Not a woman or child, young or old and they were… ci-pitta. Alive or dead.” Her hands tremble, and she pulls away from him to sip on a cup of water Molly offers.
“Ci-patta,” Harris says hoarsely and covers his face for a moment, struggling to block out the memories of his friends and her family.
“What is ci-pitta?” Trent asks.
When Harris glances up his eyes hold tears, “Butchered, the Shoshone do not have a word for trophy.” Thinking back on the soldiers he saw with bags of body parts he is trembling when he looks to Kimani.
“Dear Lord,” Melody gasps.
“I escaped with the soldier’s help. He gave me his horse and gun, and I ran. I didn’t know they sent trackers after me.”
“Trackers?” Sutton asks with a sinking feeling. “How many?”
“One soldier followed me, he told me that two more were coming. He called them trackers.”
“Why would he tell you that?” Trent asks.
“He tracked me across the river, taunting and threatening me and I shot him. He didn’t die right away.” Shame colors her face, and she glances into the fireplace. “Even in death he thought it was fun to threaten me,” she replies softly.
“What happened to the trackers?” Trent’s father asks.
“I fell asleep or passed out, I don’t know which, but when I woke up, I knew I wouldn’t be able to outrun them. I was sick and injured so I… Harris?” she pleads with tears in her eyes.
“Tell us,” he grips her hand gently in his.
“I set a trap,” the first tear slips free, and she is visibly trembling as she explains. Billy pushes closer to her on the other side and takes her free hand in his.
“That was really smart, Ms. Vanessa,” he encourages her.
“No, not smart,” she shakes their hands away and swipes away a tear angrily from her cheek. “I didn’t mean to kill anyone, Billy, but it worked. The scream from one brother brought the other one running on horseback. The log was perfectly placed and the poor horse, well let’s just say it was a very successful trap.”
“You killed them both?” Harris wonders thinking of the scene he rode through. There was only one body.
“No. I shot one man in the stomach and ran. The other was wrapped up in… what’s the word… roll of wire you used on the ranch?” she glances at Harris for help.
“Baling wire?” he suggests.
“Yes, baling wire and snow. The poor horse. I didn’t expect it to roll up with the man.” Her voice fades when she glances at the concern on the faces of the men around her.
“What?” she demands.
“You’re the only witness to a massacre of a peaceful Indian tribe under the protection of a treaty. This General Barclay isn’t going to just sit back and let them slip by,” Sutton snaps.
“Barclays busy at the Fort. We have time to get away,” Harris says.
Vanessa goes quiet and looks at Harris and the people she has accidentally placed in harm’s way. “No more death,” she gasps and surges to her feet. “I need my horse. I will leave first thing in the morning. No one needs to know I was here.”
“We sold the horse in town,” Trent says watching Harris closely.
“We are leaving, together, in the morning,” Harris says firmly and refuses to release her hand when she tries to break free.
“No. I am hunted by co’appiccih! I won’t have you hurt because of me. Why won’t you let me be?” she demands with angry tears rolling down her face. The men leave quietly, and Melody follows with Billy, shushing him when he tries to speak. Molly goes to the stove and makes a fresh pot of tea.
Harris stares at her and cups her face in his hand. “I stupidly let you get away from me the first time. I won’t be that stupid a second time. I want you to come home with me, as my Wife. Let me take care of you.”
“NO!” Fury has her shoving him hard. “I just buried my husband, my family…” my hope, her heart screams. “I can’t just pretend like everything is okay.”
“This is the second time you’ve refused me. I understand you need to heal, but I owe it to your father, Kimani, I promised him,”
She hisses at him, “Kimani is dead, and I am no one’s debt to be settled.” Anger and hurt have her limping from the room. “I’m leaving in the morning. Tamma man!” she rushes away from him.
“Damn foolish woman! I’m not stupid!” Harris shouts in frustration and paces in front of the fireplace as she slams the front door. “Why can’t she see reason?”
“Can you blame her, son? She’s right, she just lost all of her hopes and dreams as well as the only family she’ll ever know.” Trent’s Mother, Molly, says softly from behind him.
“That’s not true, Molly. She has my family. We’ve been there for her all our lives.” Harris explains. “She spent every summer and Holiday’s with us for years, learning English, and spending time with our family. I’ve treated the old, and delivered the babies… I loved them too.”
“That may be true, but no woman wants to be a burden. What are you really offering her, Harris? I don’t know you, but I know love when I see it. If you can’t see it, how do you expect her too?” Molly sits and pours herself a cup of tea.
“Love?” Harris flops into the chair and stares into the fire. “I won’t love her. I can’t love again! I’m not sure I’d survive another loss like my wife.”
“I see.” Molly sighs, “You said, won’t, Son. That means you’re making a choice. What kind of choice is it, to live but not really live? Your wife would be ashamed of you for hiding behind your fear.” Molly sits staring at him with hard eyes and watches him flinch at her words.
“That’s harsh, Mrs. Molly, but not entirely untrue.” Harris runs a hand over his bearded face. “What do I do now? She’s in love with another man.”
“You pray, and you walk patiently beside her until she heals. Don’t give up on her and don’t let her give up. There’s a mighty big hole in her heart, the question is, are you the man to fill it?”
Harris smiles at her, “That’s a good question.”
“Until the answer is yes, stop pushing her.” Molly sets her teacup down. “You can stay in the main house tonight. We have a room ready for you at Vanessa’s request. Give her some space.” Molly says goodnight and Harris sits in the great room to plan.
Billy sits on the porch waiting for Vanessa. When she
steps outside, he jumps up and runs over. “Can I walk with you?”
“Of course, thank you.” She walks slowly enjoying the fresh air. “Tell me, is it a very long ride to Riverton?”
“No, ma’am. It’s only fifteen miles, northwest.”
“Is it an Army Fort?” she asks.
“Oh, no, ma’am. Just a small town. Why?”
Vanessa smiles at him. “I need supplies, clothing, shoes, you know my own things to wear, but my saddle bag had my money,” she sighs sadly.
“Don’t’ be sad, Miss Vanessa, they sold your horse, but not the saddle bags. They’re in the barn.”
“Really?” Hope flickers, “Could you show me where?”
“I’d be glad to bring them to you,” Billy offers eagerly.
“That would be perfect, thank you. I can’t buy supplies without my money. But I don’t want you to get in trouble. Just tell me where they are.”
“Oh, I won’t. I have chores to do in the barn anyway. Dad and Sutton are bringing in the sheep. I’ll be right back.”
Guilt floods through her body, but she knows the sooner she leaves, the better for everyone involved. Billy runs to the barn and returns quickly, carrying the leather saddle bags. Without the guns, they are light enough for him to carry over his shoulder.
Vanessa watches for him and asks him to drop them on the chair inside. “Billy, can you tell me how far the Fort is from Riverton?”
“I think it’s about three days, by horse, but you don’t need to go that far. Riverton has everything you need, even a bakery. It’s my favorite.”
“What about a railroad?”
“Yep. Riverton has a railroad too.”
“You go do your chores now, thank you for your help. I’ll make sure to visit the bakery when I’m there.” She smiles as he leaves.
After searching the saddlebags, she finds a wallet stashed inside and is shocked to find twenty-five dollars. “Yes.” Tucking the wallet in her canvas bag, she packs the clothes the ladies gave her along with an extra pair of boots. She stashes everything under her bed and lays down to give her body a break. The years spent with the Rivers every summer is paying off. They taught her English, etiquette and basic skills, like sewing, reading, and other things the women thought useful. The last time she went was the summer she found out that Harris had married. Her sixteen-year-old heart was broken. He didn’t know she had a crush on him. Harris was eight years older than her. It was only right that he should marry, though at the time she didn’t think so. Mitema understood when she told her, and they didn’t force the summer visits after that. Though she missed them, it was easier to put space between them.