“Oh, really?” Cynthia sighed. “Then just who are you related to? What’s your game, lady?”
“I’m not playing a game. My name is Emily Hart,” I finally frowned at her, resting my hands on my hips, “You might know my brother, Jaxon.”
I glared at Cynthia, not taking my eyes off her even though I wanted the satisfaction of watching the other girls’ jaws drop to the floor. They instantly went silent, Cynthia’s fake lashes going so wide around her eyes as that her brows shot toward the ceiling.
“No way,” she breathed, “he didn’t mention he had a sister.”
“Well he does,” I snapped back, and it was my turn to toss my hair over my shoulder as breezily as a magazine model.
“I’m so sorry,” Cynthia mumbled, climbing from her chair and traipsing over. “I’m so moody today. I didn’t sleep well. I’m PMSing like crazy. Plus, I’m a little grouchy, you know?”
I didn’t answer, not looking at the hand she stuck out for me to shake.
Instead, I turned slightly to look out over the field as the men began spilling out to their places.
“If you’ll excuse me,” I announced firmly, “I’ve got a game to watch.”
Cynthia’s jaw dropped again slightly, unused to being so ignored. With a pitiful glance back at her friends, she slowly returned to her table while I pressed a hand over my rapidly beating heart.
Chapter 6
Jaxon
“Jax, what’s going on with you, man?” Lucas asked as he ran off the field and met me at the sideline.
I pulled and tugged at my uniform as though it were uncomfortable, clinging too tight and too itchy against my body. It usually fit like a glove or a second skin, but today I just wanted to tear it off and run naked down the field. For the life of me, I couldn’t get my head into this game. I couldn’t seem to focus on anything but wondering where Emily might be hiding in the stands.
He huffed and gasped, clapping a hand against his powerful chest in an attempt to loosen the tight muscles. He raised his arms high up into the air, leaning one way and then the other before shaking his head and looking back at me.
“iIt’s like you’re on a whole other planet or something. You aren’t paying attention at all out there.”
“Just an off day,” I mutter back, grabbing up my helmet and pulling it onto my head, I took all of two steps before Lucas grabbed my elbow and dragged me back with a loud groan.
“Yeah, just an off day… so off that you don’t even notice when we go to halftime?”
“It’s halftime?” I replied back, eyebrows lifting toward my hairline. “Seriously?”
Lucas just gave a halfhearted point toward the scoreboard as the cheerleaders began to race onto the field.
“Oh,” I finally mumbled, leaving my helmet on so that he couldn’t see my face turning red.
I’d been so distracted all game that I’d earned us several fouls for starting early or not starting at all and one for running in the opposite direction with the ball. I was clearly not in the right state of mind to play, and the coach was definitely going to give me an earful about it later.
Never before had I let anything affect my performance on the field. I’d always been the type to be able to shut out everything and just focus on the grass beneath my feet and the opponents on the other team. Today, though, was not a day like any I had before.
“Is this about your sister visiting us yesterday, man?” Lucas finally asked. “It sounded like you two were getting pretty heated when you were arguing.”
“It was just a shock to see her. I haven’t seen anyone in my family in a really long time.”
“Family is all we got sometimes, Jax,” Lucas sighed. “If I’d realized that before my dad died last summer, I think I would’ve done a lot of things differently.”
‘That’s a whole other situation, Lucas,” I responded, reaching over to lightly pat his broad, strong shoulder comfortingly. “With me and my family… believe me I’m not missing all that much.”
“Are you going to run up to the booth to see Cynthia?” Lucas asked abruptly, watching the cheerleaders dance in front of him.
He could barely contain the smile that spread over his face as he watched their bodies dip and rock and twirl. I tried not to roll my eyes.
“Wasn’t planning on it,” I shrugged. “I’m distracted enough. I don’t think seeing her would help. Besides, she’d probably just ask me to go buy her something.”
“I think you should,” Lucas replied. “You go see her and I’ll keep my mouth shut that you almost ran on the field to dance with the cheerleaders at halftime.”
I rolled my eyes again, not bothering to hide it this time, before grunting in response and tugging off my helmet to run a hand through my mussed brown hair.
The game wasn’t going well so far, we were already down two touchdowns and no one had been able to catch the ball. I clearly wasn’t the only one distracted today, which was good. If I were the loose screw in the team, Coach would have me out in minutes. By tomorrow, I’d be homeless.
I had to find a way to focus, and that started with convincing Lucas to keep his mouth shut.
Begrudgingly, I set my helmet down and stood up, accepting a bottle of Gatorade from a nearby water boy as I headed slowly around the corner and up the stairs.
For a minute, I contemplated seating myself right there and leaning against the wall to listen to the faint roar of excited fans and the thump of their feet against the bleachers. It’d been so long since I started my journey with the team that I often forgot to be grateful for all the opportunities I had. I’d been interviewed on morning talk shows, had my face plastered on cereal boxes, and done commercials. I’d had women and men both burst into tears from just a simple handshake, not to mention my mansion back home that had been fully constructed and furnished thanks to my massive paychecks. I had cars and I had women and I had alcohol and I had everything that I man could possibly want.
Why then, was it not enough?
I’d used the team as an escape from my issues, but it’d done more for me than I could ever imagine. I loved football, I loved feeling the grass give way under my cleats and feeling the sun on my helmet. I even loved the rainy games where it became hard to hold onto the football and by the time we finished the first quarter our jerseys were completely soaked through.
With a chuckle and a renewed interest in the game, I shook my head and grabbed hold of the stairwell, taking the steps two at a time as I leapt up toward the luxury suite.
I wasn’t especially excited to see Cynthia. There was little exciting about her. Besides her face and her body, the woman was more vapid than a balloon. Maybe that was what I liked about her. When I closed my eyes, I could pretend she was filled with something else. We both used each other, it was only a matter of time before the balloon was popped.
“Mr. Hart!” the attendant gasped in surprise as I scaled the steps, “I wasn’t expecting you!”
It was unusual of the players to visit the luxury suite during the game, and I wasn’t startled by the woman’s shock.
I gave a simple shrug, then a smirk slowly twitched on my lips, “I just came to snag some nachos.”
“I won’t tell,” she winked with a grin, pushing open the door so that I could slip inside.
I wasn’t two steps inside the door before I heard the excited, overly dramatic squeal of Cynthia as she leapt to her feet, arms high in the air. She danced over toward me, the short and tight hem of her dress clinging higher and higher up her legs with every step that she took. She tossed her arms around me, squeezing me tight as I loosely slipped one arm around her waist in lethargic greeting. I was going to have to tell Lucas that next time he thought Cynthia would be feeling lonely, he would have to take care of the situation himself.
“I was just hoping that I’d get to see you!” she beamed, batting those long lashes and smiling widely up at me, “Your sister and I were just having the most lovely conversation. I can’t believe you never me
ntioned her to me before! Do you know how embarrassing that was for me?”
For a second, I could’ve sworn that time stood still, my heart rocketing against my ribs at just the mention of the word “sister.”
“What… what are you talking about?” I asked slowly, though my head was already lifting to scour the room for familiar golden eyes.
Instantly, our gazes collided from across the suite where Emily was seated stiffly beside some of Cynthia’s brood. She looked out of place there, like a doll that had been set back on the wrong shelf. Her shoulders were pushed too far back, her arms crossed over her body as though to hide herself.
She didn’t speak, she didn’t do anything, she just looked at me. Not even her chest moved as she waited for my explosion. Her face was twisted in confusion and surprise.
“I need to speak with her,” I muttered to Cynthia, lightly pushing the redheaded woman away from me and giving a simple gesture toward Emily.
She glanced at the other women, then slowly slid to her feet, fingers running through her long blonde hair as she approached me with a hesitant smile.
My fingers curling around her elbow, I tried as subtly as I could to drag her toward the suite door. I pushed it open, ignoring the curious eyes of the attendant as I hauled Emily behind me down the concrete hall and around a corner.
The breeze carried the roar of the fans with it as they clapped and danced along with the cheerleaders from where they sat in the stands.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I snapped, still holding her arm tight.
She tugged her elbow away, arms folding over chest. Her eyes rest locked on me as she bit down faintly on her lower lip.
“Shouldn’t you know why I’m here? It was you who invited me to the booth. When I showed the security guard my ticket he knew that I was your sister.”
“What…” I began, before a groan slid through my lips.
Lucas. That was what all that family talk had been. That was why he pushed me to come up here. I was going to kill him. He had no right to interfere with my family business like that. He had no idea what he was doing by forcing me to be around Emily.
“I didn’t do that,” I finally snapped, and the joy in her eyes flickered out like a light switch had been turned off. “I didn’t put your name on the list. I didn’t give you VIP seating or whatever.”
The hurt expression on her beautiful face made my heart twist in my chest, like it was being wrenched out by her soulful eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I sputtered, before I could help myself.
It was so difficult to be cold to her, to keep her at an arm’s distance. It was impossible when she stood right in front of me to pretend as though I could resist her. The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt her. If I could live every day by wiping the sadness from her eyes then I would do so. But that was why I had run, that was why I had to escape her and our family.
Why was it that by trying to do the right thing, I managed to hurt her even more?
I took a step backwards as though I was trying to put distance between us, but Emily was having none of it.
“You’ve got to tell me what I did, Jax,” she whispered, hazel eyes sparkling with faint tears in the corner. “You’ve got to tell me how I made you hate me so much.”
“Hate you?” I sputtered in shock. “You think I hate you?”
“Why else would you look at me the way you do? It’s like I disgust you!”
“I don’t hate you…” I could never hate her. Not a single inch of her. If only that was the case then everything would be so much more simple than it truly was.
“Then our parents? Is it them that you hate?”
“What? Emily, no! I don’t hate anyone!”
“Please, Jax, you just have to tell me why seeing me upsets you so much! Tell me why I can’t be around you, tell me why I can’t have a relationship with my own brother-”
“Drop it, Emily!” I yelled, my voice raising so loud that it echoed off the hallways and made her face go slightly pale with surprise though her eyes remained as firm as ever.
She shivered as though the rising pitch of my voice made her bones tremble, and guilt welled up in me.
“I won’t! Not until I know why you cut me from your life.” Emily pleaded.
“God, Emily, this is why! I had to get away from you! I can’t stand next to you, I can’t listen to you speak, I can’t smell that perfume anymore!”
The faint fragrance, the same addictive scent as it’d ever been was sweet apple laced with the alluring trace of daisy. It was subtle but smothering. I could still smell it in my dreams sometimes, luring me forward toward a woman I could never have.
“What…” Emily began, but I was already gone, charging headstrong down a path that I had always sworn to stay from.
“I can’t even sleep without seeing you, Em. You’re everywhere. All these years later and I can’t get you out of my mind. You haunt me! You refuse to leave me alone! I had to run away from my own father because I wasn’t sure I could keep my hands off you anymore. Those five years were torture for me. Every time you laughed, every time you smiled, all I could think of was how soft your skin must be or how amazing it sounded when you said my name…”
I trailed off, sagging against the wall as though my whole body was a thousand pounds heavier. Though I had finally released the burden that had weighed me down for fifteen years, I felt no more closer to freedom. If anything, I felt even heavier now than I did before.
The whistle of the new quarter blared out but I didn’t even care about the match anymore. The last thing I wanted was to be on that field, pretending to pay attention when my heart and soul were so clearly somewhere else.
Emily and I stared at one another, her wide eyes even wider than normal, her face pale but her cheeks and neck red.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, once again, “I never wanted you to know that. I would’ve taken that secret to my grave if you let me.”
“I had no idea.” She breathed, stepping forward as her fingers cupped my cheek, “Jax, that must’ve been so hard for you.”
The tears in her eyes escaped now, seeping down her cheeks one after the other.
“No, please, don’t cry,” I whispered, straightening and grabbing her face in my hands, “I did all of this so that you would never cry, Emily, please…”
For so many years I had run from these emotions to protect her, but it’d finally caught up with me.
“Emily…” I whispered, abruptly realizing that our faces were so close that her honeyed breath fluttered over my lips.
I pursed my mouth shut, then opened it again, willing those perfect words to say to come to me. I wanted to fix the situation, I wanted to make all of this better. I wanted us to go back in time to that very first day and that very first minute before I realized I was in love with her. By the end of that first day, I would know the truth, but in that one single moment we were fine, everything was fine, we were a family.
Before I can even blink or react at all, Emily closes the distance between our faces. Her chest meets mine, the pounding of her heart erupting against my own ribs as her fingers brush across my jaw.
We are suddenly, uncontrollably, one.
For years I had dreamed of this moment. I had wondered what her lips may taste like, how they would feel against my own. I dreamt of how soft her tongue would be, tracing the curve of my own as our bodies melted together.
Everything that I had imagined was nothing compared to this.
When her lips hit my own, her kiss was more sweet than the juiciest peach I had ever had. For a second, we were still aside from the gentle caress of our mouths together, but then we were moving.
Her hands tangled in my hair, my own fingers digging into her hips and drawing her close to me. Closer and deeper and more passionately we drowned in each other’s kiss until we had to part when we couldn’t breathe.
She tore back away from me, fingers crushing against her bruised lips as she gazed at me w
ith wild eyes.
Without a word, as quickly as she had captured my mouth with hers and as quickly as she had flipped my world upside down, she turned and fled.
Chapter 7
Emily
My phone buzzed again in my pocket but I ignored it, my hand pressing instinctively over the vibrating denim of my pocket.
I wasn’t used to ignoring calls. I was much more the type to answer on the very first ring. Guilt swirled in me as my cell went quiet once more, but I just couldn’t bring myself to answer it right now. There was too much going through my mind. I had too much to process and sort through.
The hotel stood high over my head, blocking out the fading rays of the sun as it dipped down the horizon. It was going to get cold again soon, but my body still felt so warm, like I had a bonfire in my soul.
I hadn’t been home since the game ended two hours ago, and Rick had finally noticed. In the last twenty minutes, he had called me at least thirty times. I just couldn’t bear to look at his name on my phone and think about what I’d done.
I’d never cheated. Rick and I had been dating for so long and I’d never even as much as looked at another man. Why, then, did I kiss my own stepbrother? I felt so guilty and thrown and confused, more so than I’d ever been in my life.
What had come over me?
In that second before the kiss, it’d been like our faces and lips were magnets, pulling one another closer. His eyes were such a clear and beautiful blue, it had lured me in like a moth to a flame. It’d been irresistible.
My stomach twisted and I squeezed my eyes shut. I felt horrible.
Horrible for hurting Rick, horrible for confusing Jaxon, and horrible for enjoying the kiss as much as I had.
His body had been strong and firm beneath my hands as he pulled me against him, dwarfing me with this hulking frame. I’d never been embraced by a body as marbled and strong as his own. Had I not run out of breath, I think I would have kissed him forever.
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