Blind Trust

by Peiri Ann

  “Oh shit, Spirit. They’re about to do it!” He went silent. “No, they’re not,” he said, discouraged. “Got my hopes up for nothing. The King came to the garden, saw them naked and ordered Brent to be executed. You think the princess is going to let it happen?” He started flipping again.

  “Kyle, we will never know if you don’t finish reading the book.” He stayed quiet. “Read it out loud! The anticipation is killing me. I want to know what she does, or if he dies.”

  He slid a napkin in the book and closed it. “You’re going to have to wait until we get home because the café is closing.” He pulled me to sit up.

  I pulled him with me as I stood and raced to his truck. “You can read while we sit in the truck.”

  We jumped in the truck and I tried to snatch the book from him. “Wait.” He held the book out of my grasp. “Let me tell you something first.”

  “Anything. Just give me the book.”

  “At your weakest point… whenever you think you can’t move forward… or you feel like it’s not worth it… like anything is not worth it… remember, I’m here. You don’t have to feel alone, you don’t have to feel broken. I’m here to mend you, okay. I’m here to stitch you up. I’m by your side to catch you regardless of the direction you fall. So don’t think you have to leave, or turn to drinking, or beat yourself up about things that have happened. I’m more than someone who opened his doors to you, or is doing you a favor with death lists, or someone who keeps food in the house because you’re a human that needs to eat. I am more to you than that. You can talk to me, tell me anything and I’ll do what I can to help you feel better. I will do whatever is needed to take away the pain. Promise.” He handed me the book.

  I slowly reached up to take it. My chest warmed and I bit my bottom lip. Kyle had caught me in a bad place earlier. I thought he would ignore it and move on, and it had seemed like he was doing that. But I should have known better. “I hear you, Kyle.” I was trying to let go… trying to break loose and be open and unguarded. I wanted to give him something to make him acknowledge that I knew he was a great guy, and I loved that he didn’t give up on me.

  He started the truck and I looked over the back of the book. I was relating to Brent: undeserving… of poor quality.

  “I’m going to take the trip with Nixon to Berlin next month, right after we come back from looking for Anna. Be home when I get back, please.”

  I opened the book, still feeling uncomfortable about this Melor assignment. But I couldn’t tell him not to go. He was doing it because Nixon was scared for Chrissy. “I will, Kyle.”

  “I’ve already agreed. I’m not asking. I’m telling you. Nixon kind of left me with no other choice. He threw saving Chrissy in my face and I want to make sure she’s going to be okay.”

  Mom grabbed the edge of the hospital bed, then reached for me. I took her hand. “You’ll never listen to me, Kyle. This life is not safe. And you’ve been dating that pretty girl and I know you love her. Though you will not admit it, I see it. You will come upon a moment, like all couples do in our life. At that moment, remember what is most important. Love or live.” She coughed. “Nixon needs your help, you help him. But help him because it’s something you want to do. Not because you feel forced to do it, because you think there is no other way to save your family. There is and we will make sure Chrissy stays safe.”

  “Mom, you’re in the hospital. You won’t be making sure anyone is safe. You’re not to worry about this, me, Anna, any of us. You rest. I want you to be here when I come back.” I couldn’t imagine my mom leaving me. But the doctors said it wouldn’t be much longer before she did. A week after they’d released her, she had a severe heart attack, landing her back in the hospital. I’d been sleeping at the hospital with her for the last three weeks. We had booked a flight to find Anna before I was scheduled to take the Berlin trip, but I couldn’t leave after that. I had to drop my classes for the remainder of the semester, and start summer break early.

  Janet came by and sat with us for a while; Val too. My mom loved Val. They talked and laughed like mother and daughter. Nixon stopped by with Chrissy. Everyone was preparing themselves to say goodbye, but I wasn’t ready.

  “Kyle, thank you for taking care of us.”

  “Of course, Mom.” I kissed her hand. “You get some rest. I have to go.” Purcell wanted me and Nixon to go out for Melor this week. I was stalling, putting it off and putting it off. Except for Anna being gone, we were all decent, semi-safe. And Rick was able to update me to let me know Anna was okay. I never got the details, but he’d say she was fine. And now, Nixon and I had two days to get to Berlin and set up. “I love you. Be here when I get back.”

  She raised her arm and I stood to lean over and hug her. “I love you, Kyle. I’m going to fight as long as I can. You be smart while you’re out there.”

  “Of course.” I kissed her cheek and sat back down. I wasn’t ready to go though I knew I needed to.

  My phone chirped beside her on the hospital bed. Grabbing it, I looked over the text.

  Val: Hey. Are you okay? You want me to come up there? How is she? Tell her I said hi. I can’t wait to see you.

  “Must be Val. She’s the only person I’ve ever seen pull that kind of smile out of you.”

  “What do you mean, Mom? What kind of smile?” I said with a grin.

  She laughed. “The smile that shows you’re happy inside. Like the happy young man you try to make everyone believe you are. Your eyes lighten too; it shines from the inside out. You love that girl. You won’t admit it, but you do,” she protested.

  “She does warm me. But I don’t know. She’s special and I know she cares about me, and you. But I don’t know if she’s lasting, you know. I think if she gets the chance for a new life—one where she doesn’t have to run any longer—she’ll walk away from me. And I don’t want to love her, and then she leaves me.”

  “Hmm, I understand. But there is no way for you to know.”

  “Not until it happens.”

  “If you trust her.”

  “See, that’s the thing.” I cut her off. “I don’t know if I trust her. And it’s keeping me from falling in love with her. We’ve been together for some months and I always feel like she has the upper hand on me because she’s known me for over a year. She knows just about everything about me and I know she loves me, I see it in her eyes and can read her like the alphabet. But Mom… I don’t know.”

  “Kyle, if you love her…” She paused long before she continued, “It’s a blind trust that’s required of you. Where you believe beyond any doubt, beyond her flaws, beyond your insecurities, beyond what’s present. You trust her—blindly—because there is no living proof that she will stick with you and no way for you to know. But you believe she will.”

  I looked her over. She had closed her eyes. Her hospital room was a single and it was big in size. A nurse came in and out every ten minutes to reset a drip from an IV and check her blood pressure.

  Her afternoon nurse, Kimberly, walked in. “Good Morning, Mrs. Shultz. Hi, Kyle.” She was a young blond with green eyes. “How are we?” she asked my mom perkily. She was always perky.

  Mom gave her a soft smile. She was done talking. Her throat probably hurt and she was tired. She didn’t give you much, so when she was talking I used the moment to my advantage. She chose her words carefully now, so I always listened.

  “That’s good,” Kimberly said. “I’m going to give you your medicine. It will make you a little nauseous and drowsy. You let me know if there is any discomfort.” She stuck a needle into the extension of the IV. Shortly after, my mom’s mouth began to water, drool escaping from its sides.

  I grabbed a towel she had resting beside her to wipe it away. “Okay, Mom, I’m leaving for real this time.” I stood as she patted my hand. “Thanks, Kimberly. Keep an eye out for my mother.” Kimberly winked at me and continued with her work. “Oh, and Val told me to tell you hi,” I said to Mom. She smiled and nodded. I kissed her forehead.
“Okay, Mom, I love you. See you when I get back.” Please be here when I get back.

  She smiled, rubbing my arm.

  I left the hospital, headed to my house. Things were going well with Val and me, except for her trying to go on this assignment. Clark had made sure her name was off the lists she was on, and it was buying her some really good time. We’d had to change phones and I had to buy a new truck. She’d insisted she couldn’t stay at my house, but that’s where she had been for the past five months. I gave her my bed and took the day bed in the guest room, since Anna wasn’t in it. Some nights I slept with her, but when she was feeling independent, I left her alone so she didn’t feel she needed me. Apparently sleeping next to her meant she needed me for something. She was constantly going on about how she didn’t need my help and she didn’t need me to help protect her or give her a place to stay. Thinking about her complaining about it made my head hurt.

  But other days, which outweighed the bad, things were perfect between us. We were perfect for each other; making each other laugh, going out and holding hands, we cuddled together watching movies and taking naps, we talked about any and everything, and she finally opened up and was unguarded. She even liked sports and beer, though, I didn’t let her drink. Val and I had created something amazing. I didn’t even think we would make it this far, but we had something that put a smile on my face even when I wasn’t around her. I was warm and joyous despite the bullshit going on in my life. I felt a much needed relief with her around and she gave me something to desire, to look forward to, and that I could honestly admit I loved.

  I drove home and saw Janet’s car parked outside of my apartment. I was in no mood for Janet and since I hadn’t told Val I was coming home, nor replied to her text… I kept going.

  Janet had turned into a fake friend. She played like she was cool with Spirit but she wasn’t. She hadn’t said that, but I knew Janet very well. So sitting in a room with the two of them was uncomfortable. I could’ve been wrong about Janet. But if I wasn’t, I didn’t want to start anything between her and me or her and Val. It was better to keep my mouth closed and let them play friends.

  I called Rick and he quickly answered. “Hey. I’m on my way to your house.”

  “Okay, door’s open.”

  “You want something to drink?” Rick asked as I sat on his couch. He had moved far from the campus to a small townhouse. Since his crib got shot up, he’d been keeping a low profile. But as long as he was working for Melor, it wasn’t needed. The people after Rick quickly came up dead. He wouldn’t tell me exactly what was going on between him and Melor. But I wouldn’t tell him the full details about me, either.

  Rick let me know he was more on Melor’s side than he was the CIA. I could understand that. No one I knew who had ever worked for the CIA liked working for them. But knowing that, I wasn’t willing to let him know who I was because he’d find out there was a hit out on his employer. And as Melor’s informant, I figured he’d tell his boss I was coming after him.

  “Nah, Rick. I’m good.” He was running through his house, bringing clothes to a bag he had sitting on the couch. He was going to Berlin to make some connection with Melor. He told me he was going to San Diego to check on his mom. Since school was out, he was taking the break to “check on things back home.” Val had found out what was actually going on. She was great at that.

  I figured I’d see him when I got there. I could have to fight against him though I hoped I wouldn’t have to. Rick was real cool and I hated it when I had to cut off friends. It was why I kept their numbers at a minimum and why I didn’t take on new friends—they were hard to trust, hard to keep, and difficult to understand.

  “You’re going to surprise your mom?” I asked when he walked back into the living room.

  “Yeah, she’s going to be stunned. I haven’t seen her since Christmas. How’s your mom? Was she talking today?”

  “Yeah, a little.”

  “How’s Val and Janet?”

  I huffed, frustrated. “I had intentions on going home, but when I got there, Janet’s car was out front.”

  “Steering clear of Janet’s evil stares and Val’s I’m-a-bad-person glares.”

  “Yep.”

  My phone chirped as I threw my foot up.

  Winter: You’ve dropped your classes. Months have gone past and I haven’t heard from you. Everything okay?

  Me: Winter, I’m sorry it seems like I dropped off the face of the earth. My mother got really sick and I slipped into a relationship.

  I got a feeling that when she read the ending of my text, her next one would follow in all caps.

  Winter: A RELATIONSHIP?

  Me: Yes.

  Winter: Sorry to hear about your mom.

  Me: Thank you.

  Winter: Guess I won’t be hearing from you.

  Me: I guess not.

  Winter: It was fun anyway.

  Me: Hell of a way to say goodbye…

  Winter: I’ll miss you, Kyle.

  Me: It was worth it, I loved my winter nights.

  “Who are you texting?” Rick asked.

  “Cutting things off with Winter. I forgot to do it when I hooked up with Val.”

  “You can’t leave any stones unturned.”

  “Not those types of stones. But Val knew about her.” He pursed his lips when he glanced at me. “What?” I asked.

  He sat extremely close beside me. “We’ve been keeping secrets from each other. And I think it’s time we start being honest.”

  I scooted away from him. “You’re keeping secrets, not me.”

  “We’re boys, Kyle. We need to be able to be honest with each other.”

  “Then start being honest.”

  “You need to start being honest first. I’ve told you a lot about me and I know you’re keeping secrets. You’re like pretty little liars. All cute and secretive. Anything could be going on in that head of yours.” He poked my cheek, and tousled my hair.

  I looked over at him, running my hand over my head. His face was serious, but I didn’t know if he was asking to get the scoop on me or if he was trying to be a friend, and thought we needed to be honest with each other. I texted Val and asked what she thought.

  Val: Aren’t you Kyle Shultz? Why are you asking me if you should tell your target’s informant who you really are?

  Me: Because he’s looking at me with these cute blue eyes and they seem so honest. Then he has this expression that makes me feel like he’s not out to kill me like you were.

  Val: God, Kyle. Seriously…

  Me: Are you answering my question or jealous?

  Val: Both. Your relationship with Rick is better than ours.

  Me: I highly doubt that.

  Val: Don’t tell him.

  “Rick, Val is jealous of you.”

  “We’re even. I’m jealous of her too.”

  “I’ve told you what’s up.”

  “Good, because I have too. But I’m not going to check on my mom. I’m going to do some work for Melor.”

  I nodded. I hadn’t expected him to tell me the truth and now I felt obligated to be honest with him. “You didn’t have to lie.”

  He slapped my chest with the back of his hand. “Now it’s your turn.”

  I looked at our reflections in the TV on the wall. “What makes you think I’m lying?”

  “Anna told me to talk you out of it.”

  Shit… “Anna mentioned what to you?”

  “Kyle, stop playing this game with me.”

  “You sound like my girlfriend.”

  “So I see that I am going to have to give you more information to make you release yours.” Like what? “Anna told me you and your brother Nixon are planning to come after Melor, on instructions given by Purcell. You’re an ex-agent of theirs. You quit over two years ago over the agency wanting to suspend you from an assignment, at which you succeeded but blew up in the UK. You’re willing to take it because you’re looking out for your family. Which is just like you. But you
also have your name on a few agencies’ lists because of the middleman cut-offs you did a year ago. When you hacked into the CIA’s database, got the top drug lords’, gangsters’, and terrorists’ information, scrambled it and let the most wanted shits remain successful and unfound.”

  He knew way too much. “Okay.”

  “And doing so resulted in your name being locked on the wanted list, dead or alive. Most of them want you alive, because of the punishment they want to inflict on you. Since I know all of this, and I know what you’re actually up to, you don’t have to tell me anything, but tell me if I’m correct or incorrect.”

  “Anna told you all of that?” I asked.

  “She did. I don’t think she’s told anyone else. But this is a guy you don’t want to fuck with. You know this guy named Denis Reynolds. He lives here. He came up missing last month after the death of his son and wife. Denis was the contact man for Melor’s workshop in the central region of the U.S. His son, Hayden, was the holder of over fifteen million dollars of magic dust.” Cocaine. “All of a sudden, Hayden ended up dead. Next day, the dust came up missing. Denis needed to come back with fifteen million to cover the missing bricks. He didn’t. Hayden also brought in the boys, like women trafficking, for men. Men pay more for men than they do women. Believe me. Melor was down fifty mil with Hayden out of the picture and it was an amount Denis couldn’t cover. They know who did it…”

  I wanted to look at him. He’d said his last sentence mischievously. I knew his next words and I didn’t want him to know it.

  “Valerie Harper. Your lady.”

  I tapped my foot against the floor.

  “And somehow, she has disappeared from the most- wanted-dead lists running through the black market.”

  I continued to tap my foot.

  “So… as of right now, I’m the only one who knows. And I don’t know if Anna told me because she knows I know you, or if I’m going to be the only person she tells… but this isn’t going to end well if you go after him.”

  “Okay.”

  “That’s it. That’s all you have to say. Okay?”