"I know. He called me."
"What?"
"He's disappointed that you are with me so he's going to express his feelings whenever he gets an opportunity."
"Son of a bitch," she said under her breath.
"It's not his fault. It's mine. It's my responsibility to make you happy...I'm sorry that I placed such a heavy burden on you by asking you to become a mother without finding out how you felt about it," I said holding her hands. "We don't need to have a baby. I just want to be with you and make you happy."
Shannon hung her head as I spoke then blues eyes looked up at me.
"Thank you, Ari. That means so much to me. I just want to love you and enjoy us being together," she said and kissed my lips.
"I want that too," I smiled and pulled her into my arms.
Our lovemaking was emotional, unlike the raw, wild sex we were accustomed to having, and I could feel her love pouring into me. Shannon was a very experienced and skilled lover so it was always complete satisfaction with her no matter if we went three or four times in a row. This time was not about expertise, it was about creating a deeper bond between us and expressing our love through our bodies.
We usually drove to work together but for the past week, Shannon had been taking her own car because she had to do stuff away from the office and sometimes it clashed with my time away. Today we did not have any business outside of the building, however, she said she would rather drive to work. She stopped to get us breakfast while I continued to the office, and far in the back of my mind, there were concerns if she was really getting breakfast or going to any secret place I did not know about. I blocked it from my mind and reminded myself that Shannon loved only me, and I hated that I had no control over my thoughts. Shannon had not given me any reason to be suspicious but her every action caused me to become nervous.
I walked into my office and looked over my messages as I waited for my girlfriend to come with our breakfast. I made a few calls, but it wasn't long before Shannon walked in with a wide smile on her face. She was so beautiful. The pants she wore was a rare sight for her because she usually wore a dress with very high heels; that was my favorite, but this look was very professional and fresh.
"Are you really mine?" I asked with a smile.
"All of me, my love," she said, and I was happy to see the smile on her face.
She placed my breakfast before me with a fork and napkins.
"Thanks, babe," I said and started eating.
I wanted to discuss my insecurities with Shannon. She always tried to reassure me that I was her only focus, but I didn't want to have these feelings and not share them with her. However, this was not the time after what happened yesterday.
"What's bothering you, honey?" Shannon asked and that was when I realized that I had been spinning my eggs around on my paper plate.
"Nothing...it's stupid. I just…," I sighed.
"Ari, I know it is not about a baby because we already settled that, so whatever it is that is bothering you, tell me. Let me help you understand."
"It's crazy."
"Tell me."
"I know you love me, but there is this constant nagging thought that whenever you are not with me then you are...you know...with someone else."
"Having sex?"
"Y-yes."
"You're right. It's stupid," she said then touched my hand. "OK. Let me see if I can help you out. Do you remember when I was with Raj and you wanted us to make love? Do you remember the fights we had because I could not go outside our agreement?"
"Yes."
"And I did not feel about him the way I feel about you. Why would I be that way with him and do differently with you? I was crazy about dirty, wild sex...obsessed, and even then I exercised restraint with the woman I was madly in love with. That should be your answer right there. It is not fun for me if we are not all in agreement, and the agreement we have is that you will be my only lover for the rest of my life and I will be yours. I can't go outside of that agreement."
I made a sigh and my fears were released. Shannon knocked away all concerns of her ever being with anyone else behind my back. I was so happy inside that it came out on my lips in a smile that triggered one on hers.
“You are absolutely right. I have first-hand experience on how you hate the idea of operating outside of an agreement. I’m sorry that I had all these thoughts and made myself worry for no reason.”
“I understand it though. You’ve spent so much time around people who have sex with whomever they want, regardless of who they are having a relationship with. It is difficult to make the separation sometimes to understand that there are people who can act differently. If I had my way, that secretary of ours would not be in this job. She is so attractive and so beautiful that I didn’t trust her one bit around you.”
“What changed?” I asked.
“Nothing has changed. I just chose to trust in your love for me and your commitment to a new path in life. I just believe that you would never do anything to mess up what we have.”
“Would you leave me if I did?” I asked as I kissed her lips.
“No, but I would be so devastated, and you would be punished so bad to know that you have caused me such pain. For the rest of your life you would have to deal with my wrath, and I don’t think you would want to do that,” Shannon said as she ate.
“No, I would not,” I chuckled. “I don’t want any secrets between us, Shan. I know that we are very sexual people and we will see others that we find attractive...and I don’t have a problem with that because we are human. I just don’t…”
“Don’t say it. We are on a good path, Arien. I understand completely what is going on here; I am not in denial. We will come across people who are very attractive and we shouldn’t hide from those feelings, but the only person we are allowed to fuck is each other,” she said leaning to my face.
“Bring your appetite to me, baby. I will fix you right up,” I whispered in her face.
“I have an appetite right now. Lock the door,” she said, and I smiled and got up.
I rushed over to the door and locked it then started to undo the buttons on my shirt. I brushed it open then sat across Shannon’s lap. She cupped my breasts through the bra and squeezed my nipples with her fingers.
“Oh fuck…,” I breathed and closed my eyes as all the nerves in my body stood at attention.
“That party you went to,” Shannon whispered in my ear as she played with my nipples. “What did you see?”
I allowed my brain to go back to that night but the feeling of being so aroused was causing some distortion.
“I saw people fucking,” I said and Shannon lifted my bra above my breasts so she could hold them without any obstruction.
“Did they fuck you?”
“Yes…”
“Did any girl fuck you?”
“Yes.”
“What did she do?” Shannon asked then lowered her head to my breast.
I felt her pull my nipple into her mouth and I threw my head back from the flood of passion that washed over me.
“She...she opened my legs...and...and looked at my pussy,” I explained.
“Then what did she do?” Shannon asked as she pulled the waist of my pants.
“She stuck out her tongue…”
Shannon got up and led me to the sofa then dragged my pants and panties before settling between my legs.
“What did she do with her tongue?” she asked.
“She licked my clit.”
“Like this?”
“Fuck!” I cried out as Shannon’s tongue slid over my hardened clit. “Yes! Just like that...don’t stop.”
My legs were shaking and I felt like I was having sex for the first time in months, but Shannon and I made love this morning. The whole erotic effect of her talking about something so extremely sexually wild was adding to the intense feeling inside me. My orgasm could not be held back and was barreling forward.
Shannon must have felt it and pulled away.
“You can’t cum yet. Tell me more,” she said as she removed her pants and panties. “Who fucked you next?”
“Her man.”
“Oh fuck!” Shannon cried out then raised my leg and settled her pussy on mine. “Did he fuck you like this?”
Shannon moved her pussy over mine and I lost all memory of what happened at that party. All I could feel was her juicy pussy slowly slipping over mine.
“Faster!” I begged and grabbed her ass. “Fuck meeee!”
Shannon crushed her pussy into mine and worked her hips frantically as she fucked the cum out of us.
“Feel my pussy fucking yours. Do you feel it, Ari? Do you feel me fucking...your...oh my God I’m cumming…”
“Cum on my pussy...fuuuuuuck!”
Shannon ground her pussy into mine as we both erupted at the same time. Waves upon waves of passion washed through me and our bodies were being electrocuted from the intensity of our orgasm. As we came, our pussies created more concoction that caused the erotic sensation to seem unending which resulted in a second orgasm for us. When Shannon finally fell on top of me, it was a sad situation because neither of us could catch our breath. The sheer power of the double orgasm we had, absolutely deprived us of oxygen and our ability to refill our lungs.
Shannon rolled off me and seemed to do better on her back.
“What the fuck was that!” she cried out.
“I don’t know, but I like it.”
A few minutes went by and we were able to breathe somewhat normally. We walked on shaky legs to the bathroom to clean up and burst into laughter when we saw ourselves in the mirror.
“We can’t fool anyone. They are going to know we had sex. Look at my hair and face,” Shannon said as she examined herself in the mirror.
“Give me the brush,” I said and she handed it to me.
“Where’s the makeup bag?”
“Here.”
We tried as best we could to disguise what really went on, then left the bathroom to put on our pants and panties. As we were fixing up, there was a knock on the door and we both looked at each other in shock. We quickly looked around to make sure everything was in place then I opened the door. My mother was standing there.
“Hi, Mom,” I said with guilt printed on my face.
“Are you going to invite me in?” she asked and that was when I realized that I had barred the door.
“Sure. Come in.”
My mother came in then stopped to look at Shannon who had the just-fucked look all over her face. We had sex in my office all the time, but usually we had time to recover but this time was different.
“Is that what you ladies come to work to do? To have sex?”
“Mom!”
“This is a place of business. Serious decisions have to be made and the demonstration of professionalism is not an option. We are having important meetings while both of you are in here carrying on and tell your secretary that you should not be disturbed. Well, I’m sorry, but I have to disturb you because there is work to be done,” my mom said in a deep stern voice.
“You need to leave,” I said to her. “This is my office and I can do whatever I choose to do in here. By the way, why are you even here? You were never here before Shannon and I started working here. I think you just want to have your nose buried in my business,” I said.
“Honey, stop…”
“No, Shannon. Don’t stop her, my darling. This is the way she speaks to her mother.”
“What do you want, Mom?” I asked.
“I just wanted to find out if all is well with you. You are my daughter. Shouldn’t I be concerned?”
“No! You…”
“Arien, babe…,” Shannon started then turned to my mom. “Mrs. Todd, please. Can you come back a little later? I want to talk to Arien for a little.”
“OK, dear. I’ll be at my desk,” my mom said and Shannon led her to the door.
Once my mother was gone, Shannon turned to me.
“Baby, why do you let your mother get to you like this?”
“She just doesn’t have any boundaries. I hate how much she pushes and interferes in my personal life,” I said as my brain switched from passion to anger. “I am telling you this, we are buying our house far away from her because she will be over every second telling us how we should run our house, how we should raise our children…”
Oh my God! That just flew out of my mouth. I did not want to bring up the issue of us having children because Shannon had made it very clear, but my brain just brought it out because that was the life I had envisioned with her. The sudden change in expression told me she heard and she was not happy about it. She stood there motionless, and I knew I had to do damage control quickly.
“I’m sorry, Shannon. It just came out. I know we…,” I stopped when I saw her turn around and left, slamming the door shut behind her.
I stood there for a long time feeling so nervous inside my body. How could I have let that slip out of my mouth when I knew how much of the problem it would be with Shannon. She already made it clear that she didn’t want to be a mother, and the last thing I wanted was for her to think that I was pushing her to do something she would be unhappy about.
I decided to go to her office and talk to her about it because it was a genuine mistake and in no way was I trying to say that, despite our conversation, I was still expecting her to give me a baby. I respected her wishes and wanted to put her happiness first.
I opened the door to her office but she was not there and her bag was gone. Shannon left the building. I called security to ask if she had left and they confirmed. I hated that she kept running away every time she faced a difficult topic. We should be able to sit and talk about it, so I made a mental note to discuss this with her because there were things that we were still working on in our new relationship.
I had a glass of water and took a deep breath then called Elise to tell her I was free in case she had anything for me to do. I had a whole bunch of documents to go over on my desk so I decided to do that while I waited. I felt horrible that we had such a wonderful time earlier and my mother had to come in and ruin the whole thing. Now, I would have to go home and do damage control before bed. I felt like she would understand though because she was not interested in another fight any more than I was. Besides, it was her turn to tell me some of her sexual adventures. It was really exciting that we had that shared experience and could talk about it without it being weird or the other being offended.
Once Elise came into my office, I was able to put my erratic thoughts aside and focus on doing my job. I noticed that I was getting mostly the financial related documents while Shannon would get those that had more to do with the services and products we offered. I was briefed on all matters related to the operation of the company, and Shannon was not able to sign off on any decisions, but her opinion and insight were often sought and it demonstrated how much of an important asset she was to the company. My father saw it right away and wasted no time in garnering her talent.
I spent a few hours working before paying a short visit to my dad then headed home to face my biggest test in life, my girlfriend, Shannon. I hoped she was home and not crying somewhere in her car because I made a mistake about us having children. I would hate for Raj to call me again to brag about how much he was enjoying our suffering. As I got closer to the apartment, the butterflies in my stomach were going wild, and I had to take a few deep breaths to calm down. It got even worse when I unlocked the door and stepped into the apartment.
Shannon was not in the living room, so I went into the bedroom and called just in case she was in another room or in the bathroom.
“Shannon? Babe?”
There was no answer so I checked the bathroom and the balcony, but she was not there. I looked in the walk-in closet and she was not there either, but I noticed that one of her suitcases was gone!
“Oh my God!”
I rushed to the phone and called, but her phone went straight to voicemail. I
opened her drawers and some of her things were missing then my memory went to when she left Raj and came to me; she didn’t take anything much. Shannon had a habit of walking away and leaving her things behind, so I could not use the fact that they were here as a sign that she would soon be back. Did Shannon leave me out of fear that she would be forced to be a mother?
I sat on the bed then fell back as I could not hold my body up. What started out as a few teardrops from my eyes, turned into a full wail as my heart shattered into little pieces. Shannon was gone.
“Noooooo!” I cried out into the lonely apartment. “Shannon, come baaaaack…”
The pain was excruciating. How could one moment be so beautiful and next be so devastating? I held my belly in pain as I cried. How could Shannon say she loved me and did something so horrible to me? I cried so hard and could feel my body shutting down as sleep tried to take over. I let myself go, hoping that, once again, I would wake up to Shannon’s arms wrapped tightly around me.
***
For two days I had been in bed crying because Shannon was gone and all calls to her cell phone went to voicemail. I had a hard time processing how Shannon could be OK with being away from me. I was dying, so why wasn’t she? Fresh tears streamed down my face, as it had been doing for the past two days. As soon as I got a break from them, my mind went to all the things I did with Shannon and all the things I still had to do with her. I thought about how much I loved her and wondered how I would be able to move on without her.
I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower and wash my hair, and I could see Shannon everywhere. Her toothbrush, her slippers, her conditioner that was different from mine, her extra-soft bathrobe that I got for her, and just the feel of her absence. I had no idea where she was or if she was even coming back, but if she did, I was not sure how I would welcome her back with the same level of trust as before. What were the guarantees that she wouldn’t run off again?
I spent longer than usual in the shower, letting the cold water cascade down my body to ease my mind from the burden of heartbreak and loneliness I felt. I finally got out and wrapped myself in a towel and went into the bedroom to see Claire quickly changing my sheets. Poor thing had been trying to get in for two days and I kept chasing her away. She moved with the speed of light without saying a word and gather the sheets that were filled with my sweat and tears. Claire hurried out of the room, and I climbed back into bed and slipped under the clean, white sheets.
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