Miranda’s mom was crying; a tissue clutched in her fist as she dabbed at her eyes. “Oh honey, you are so beautiful!” she said. “I wish your father could see you.” Miranda paled at the mention of Marco and she glanced over at me. I quickly jumped in to redirect the conversation. Miranda’s mom didn’t know how much of a role Miranda played in her own father’s demise. Allegra grew quiet too. I wasn’t surprised since she was directly involved in luring Marco to The Speak, where Dominic shot and killed him.
“Miranda, wait until Grant sees you, he’s going to cry like a girl,” I said with a laugh. “And I hope it’s all caught on camera.”
Miranda and my mom chuckled at that and then her cousin resumed fussing over the last minute alterations needed on the dress. “Thank you,” she mouthed when her mom had turned around to answer her ringing cell phone.
After the fittings, we went shoe shopping and that turned into a late lunch, which turned into happy hour and evolved into dinner. It was after ten o’clock by the time my mom and I were back at the hotel and while the day was fun, I was exhausted. Dominic had yet to make an appearance and right before I slipped into a dreamless sleep, I briefly wondered if he even wanted to see me.
Chapter 3
DOMINIC
“Oh Christ, the fuckin’ arrogance of youth! As your consigliore, I am telling you that you’re being reckless. You roam around unprotected and vulnerable. You aren’t invincible, son.” My dad slammed his hand down on the table and his gaze slipped to the scars on my neck, a permanent reminder of my brush with death.
I understood where he was coming from, but I refused to be consumed by paranoia like my Uncle Marco. Having protection certainly didn’t save him. Of course, I was family and he trusted me right up until I blew his dick off. Prior to that, I fell outside his circle of paranoia. “Dad, if someone wants me dead bad enough, it’s going to happen even if I have a freakin’ militia following me around.”
“So no additional security at the wedding where you are all exposed?” We were sitting around the dining room table at my dad’s house: my Underboss, Dante, my Capos Grant and Miranda, our enforcer Joey D., as well as my brother Anthony, Dante’s brother Johnny and Miranda’s brother, Paulie.
“Practically the entire organization is going to be there and we’re all going to be carrying. I think we can handle it if, and that’s a big if, things go down. Only someone really fucking stupid will try anything.”
“Uncle Rico, I agree with Dom. The enforcers we would use as protection are all going to be there anyway. They already know to keep their eyes open for any trouble,” Dante said.
My dad frowned. “What about you, Rand, think about the baby? Are you okay with this?”
“Nothing is going to hurt Miranda or the baby. I’ll take a thousand bullets to keep that from happening,” Grant answered, entwining his fingers with Miranda’s. She looked up at him and smiled.
“Uncle Rico this is my wedding and I want it to be as normal as possible. People from outside of the family are going to be there, we need to keep things on the down low. I trust Dom’s decision.” Miranda squeezed Grant’s hand after her little speech.
My dad sat back in his chair and tapped his fingertips against the tabletop as he mulled everything over. “Fine,” he said with a sigh. “Good thing I have a holster sewn into my tuxedo jacket. I’ll be carrying too. Seriously, Dominic, I know what I’m doing, so one of these days you’ll need to listen to me.”
“Dad, I hear ya. It’s time to move on. What else do we need to talk about?”
“Grant’s bachelor party,” Dante chimed in. “It’s going to be fucking amazing. I got a bunch of strippers…“
“Dude, really?” Grant jerked his head in Miranda’s direction. “Hormonally charged fiancé over here.”
“Oh, you guys have fun with your hoes. Cici has something equally as epic planned at Carnal for my bachelorette.”
“Not with all of those male stripper douches?” Grant said.
“Oh yeah. You know Cici has an in with the manager.”
“Ha! More like the manager has been in her,” I remarked.
“Territory you’re familiar with, huh Dom?” Dante winked at me. I slept with Cici like four summers ago down the shore and apparently I wasn’t the only one who remembered.
“What the fuck! Can you not talk about my sister like that?” Joey D. growled.
Paulie, Anthony and Johnny were snickering and trying so hard to muffle their snorts. Ordinarily our meetings were a lot more serious and we were dealing with issues regarding our heroin business and relations with other gangs in the city. With less than a week until Grant and Miranda’s wedding, a certain sense of levity had taken over.
It was moments like this that I loved because it was just family fucking around teasing one another. Since Marco’s brooding and unpredictable presence had been removed, we seemed to be having more moments like this and it felt good.
“Speaking of sisters…Grant, how’s Natalie doing?” My dad asked in an attempt to rein the conversation in before Joey D. punched someone. I noticed he glanced sideways at me too, gauging my reaction. I knew they were all wondering why I hadn’t seen her yet. I wanted to visit her the first night she was in town, shit I wanted to be the one to meet her at the airport and it was torture to hold back, but I knew she needed time to reconcile with her mom. While it had been five months since I last saw Natalie, it had been close to nine months since she last had any contact with her mom. Another part of me, and one I would never admit to anyone, was that I was terrified. The last time I saw Natalie was in California and it was of her back as she ran away after breaking up with me. One minute we were making love in the shower and everything felt right with the world and the next morning she was telling me to go home. We had spoken since and she confessed she still had feelings for me despite dating someone else: Jason. He was nice guy, a good guy who was going to be a lawyer one day, following in his father’s footsteps. I wanted Natalie back, her absence had left a void in my life, I killed my uncle for her and would kill again, but the fear lurked in the corners of my mind and heart, the fear that she would reject me one more time. So I waited.
“Nat’s really good,” Grant answered. “Well, except Miranda told me she had a mild panic attack at Diane’s shop the other day.”
“What? Is she okay?” I asked.
“She’s fine, just got a little overwhelmed with everything,” Miranda said. “My future mother-in-law kind of stressed her out a bit too.”
“She has that effect on people,” Grant replied, shaking his head and chuckling. “But she’s definitely changing for the better.”
I remembered how upset Nat would get around her mom. When Nat and I lived together, her mom had some crazy notion that I was beating her, which was ridiculous. There were many times that I came home to find Natalie in tears after a rough phone call. I knew then that I needed to put my fears aside and go see her.
“I think we’re done here,” I said, standing and looking around the table to see nods of agreement. “Dad, tell mom I’ll be over for dinner on Sunday.”
“Good, it’d be good to have you over. Eva’s been missing you. She’ll be bummed to find out you were here while she was at softball practice.”
I followed Grant and Miranda to the front door. Dante and Joey D. were right behind me. “Yo Grant, where’s Nat at?”
“Why? You finally are going to go see her?”
“Yeah.”
We stopped on the sidewalk in front of my parent’s house. Their elderly neighbor was out sweeping off her stoop, kicking up a cloud of dust wearing her standard issue housecoat, one I could’ve sworn she had since I was born.
“How ya doin’ Mrs. Antonelli?” I called out to her. She paused and looked up.
“Dommie, come here,” she said in her raspy voice, gesturing with a gnarled hand. “Dante, Miranda, you too.”
We took a few steps, closing the gap between us and the concrete steps. “Here,” she said and
handed me her broom before disappearing into her house. She reappeared moments later with two plates piled high with a colorful assortment of sugar and almond cookies. Dante and I each took a plate and if I wasn’t still holding the broom, would’ve peeled the plastic wrap back and snagged a cookie.
“Who’s this?” Mrs. Antonelli asked, pointing at Grant.
“This is Grant, Miranda’s fiancé,” Dante said.
“Oh! Well, come here boy; let me get a look at you.” She tugged on Grant’s arm and pulled him closer for an inspection. Mrs. Antonelli had shrunk in her old age to under five feet so she stared up at Grant and I think she would have patted his cheeks if she could reach them. Instead, she patted him on his stomach. “You’re a strapping young man. Hold on.” Once again she disappeared into her house and Grant looked over at me and I shrugged my shoulders. I was expecting Mrs. Antonelli to come out with another plate of cookies, but instead she handed Miranda a baby’s blanket. It was a mint green color and made out of soft, fuzzy cotton. “I knitted this for the baby. Why you kids couldn’t wait until you were married, I don’t understand.” She shook her head and frowned, making her wrinkles bunch up like a Shar-Pei's. “But, at least you’re doing the right thing and getting married before the baby arrives.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Antonelli. It’s beautiful and I know the baby’s going to love it,” Miranda said. She bent over and hugged the woman, kissing her cheek.
We stood around awkwardly for a few minutes before she grabbed the broom out of my hand and shooed us away. “I need to finish before Maury comes on.” She pretended to swat at us like pests and we laughed, calling goodbye over our shoulders as we walked to our cars.
My Mustang stood out on the street. Its new paint sparkled in the sunshine. While it was a classic, I had it modernized with a Bose sound system, power locks and windows, and an alarm system.
Grant’s Audi was parked across the street from me. He had the door open and was about ready to climb in when he turned toward me. “You heading over to Nat’s hotel?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“Want us to go with?”
“Nah, I need to go alone.”
Grant nodded in understanding and told me the room number before getting in his car. Miranda called out good luck before the door shut.
I pulled in front of the hotel and grabbed the plate of cookies before entrusting my car with valet. I was handed a ticket stub and told to text the number when I was ready to leave. Shoving that in my back pocket, I entered the lobby and quickly crossed to the bank of elevators.
The hotel wasn’t one of the tall ones, only eight floors, and Natalie’s suite was on the top floor. I didn’t pass anyone in the hallway as I made my way to her room. The plastic plate threatened to slip as my palms grew sweaty the closer I got. The psychedelic carpet seemed to stretch for miles ahead of me like in bad dream, but I finally found myself standing in front of the door. I took a deep breath before knocking.
A whisper of movement on the other side alerted me to someone approaching before I heard the deadbolt disengage. I took a step back away so I wasn’t crowding the doorway and ran my free hand through my hair.
I was surprised and disappointed when it wasn’t Natalie standing in the doorway, but her mother. She held the door open, but didn’t invite me in. Instead she stood, blocking the entrance.
“Mrs. Ross, how are you today?”
“I’m fine,” she answered, narrowing her eyes at me. “What do you want?”
“Grant told me Natalie was here and I’d like to see her.”
She softened when I mentioned Grant’s name and shifted to a less defensive position. “She’s down at the pool. Don’t upset her though,” she warned me.
“I wasn’t planning on it. Oh, and I brought some homemade cookies. My parent’s neighbor baked them and they’re amazing.” I handed her the plate. She had to open the door wider in order to take it.
“Thank you.”
I said goodbye and made my way back to the elevators wondering the entire way what Natalie’s mom meant by not upsetting Natalie. Once the doors opened onto the third floor, the strong smell of chlorine led me right to the pool.
There were a few people in the pool, mainly kids and couple of adults. I noticed Natalie in the corner, furthest away from everyone else. She was lying on her back on a lounge chair sunbathing, wearing a bikini and she looked freakin’ amazing. I hesitated before walking over, trying to think about how to approach her, before deciding to just wing it.
At first I thought she was sleeping, she had ear buds in and her eyes were closed, but the moment I stood over her, blocking the sun, her eyes popped open and she sat up suddenly, poised as if readying herself to launch away from whoever was standing next to her.
“Relax, Nat, it’s me,” I said, taking a step back to give her some space.
“Jesus, you scared me,” she held a hand over her heart and let out a nervous chuckle.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she said and rolled the ear buds around her iPod. Swinging her tanned legs over the side of the chair, she rose to stand in front of me. Without delay, I pulled her into a hug. The faint tropical scent of sunscreen clung to her warm skin. She wrapped her arms around me, fisting the back of my white t-shirt in her hands. We didn’t say anything and just held each other. I forgot about everything else and took stock of this moment where all was right with the world. Natalie did that to me. Just her presence restored balance that had been lacking in my life these past few months. I wondered, hoped she felt the same, but knew it was too soon to broach such an intense topic.
I don’t know how long we stood there in each other’s arms and didn’t care. Eventually Natalie released the hold on my shirt and stepped away. That’s when I noticed she was crying.
“Hey,” I said, placing a finger under her chin and tilting her head up so she would look at me. “What’s all this?” Out of habit, I bent down and brushed my lips across hers. She leaned into me at first, but quickly jerked away, turning her head. She may have hidden her eyes from me, but the flush on her cheeks was hard to hide. I mistook this reaction as shame when I remembered Natalie was with Jason and I no longer had the right to kiss her. I tended to lose all thought processes around this woman.
“Shit,” I said, running a hand through my hair and sitting down on a lounge chair across from the one Natalie was using. “I forgot about Jason.”
“Jason?” Natalie took a seat on her chair. “What does he have to do with anything?”
“I’m not gonna lie, I don’t like that you’re dating someone else, but I respect your choice and what I did just now was a dick move, but in my defense, you’re irresistible.” I smiled and winked at her, knowing that combined with my dimples on display made her knees weak.
Her gorgeous hazel eyes widened and focused on my mouth before she raised them to meet my gaze. “Uh, um,” she cleared her throat and I chuckled, relieved she still had that reaction. “Jason and I aren’t together anymore.”
I honestly don’t know how I managed to remain seated when all I wanted to do was throw her over my shoulder and take her back to my condo. “Did he hurt you?” I asked instead.
“No, it wasn’t like that. I broke up with him. Things weren’t working out.”
“Why?”
She flushed again and broke eye contact, picking up the corner of the hotel towel she was sitting on and twisting it with her hand. Judging by the firm set of her jaw and the narrow line her lips had formed, she wasn’t planning on telling me, so I let it go, satisfied knowing Jason was out. Deciding it wise to steer the conversation away from relationships, I asked her what she had been up to since she returned home.
She raised her eyebrows at the mention of “home”, but didn’t correct me. I took this as a positive sign. Natalie filled me in on the dress fitting and hanging out with the other bridesmaids. When she told me about her mom’s confession and the doubts she had about letting her in, I told her Grant had felt the
same way, but he gave her a chance.
“I just don’t think I can forgive that easily,” she admitted. “There’s years of hurt to make up for.”
“Trust is a hard thing to get back. You have to do what’s right for you.”
Natalie sighed and fidgeted with the towel. I wanted to reach over and still her hand, but held back when she continued talking. “It would be so easy to keep that wall up and not let her in, but wouldn’t that make me a bitch? Also, if I do that, what am I throwing away?”
At this point I realized the conversation may as well have been about our relationship. Natalie wanted to choose the route less painful and I understood where she was coming from, but pain was a part of life.
“I guess just take it day by day. It’s old, but good advice.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she said and smiled at me. Man, I missed her smile. “Thanks for listening. I didn’t mean to dump on you like this.”
“Anytime, Nat, I’m here for you.”
“You were always easy to talk to. Well, not at first since I could barely breathe around you, let alone talk.” Her cheeks flared a deeper red and she covered her mouth.
“Natalie Ann Ross, what are you talking about?” I teased, remembering just how adorable and awkward she was around me when we first met at Crimson. It took her quite a few shots of tequila and hits off of a joint for her to relax.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about!” she said with a laugh and chucked her bottle of sunscreen at me. I caught it and tossed the bottle back to her. “I was dazzled by your green eyes and dimples, you asshole. Women are helpless against them. That combo is like an alien tractor beam that sucks you in upon contact and you can’t function properly.”
“Damn, I’m an asshole and an alien tractor beam? That fuckin’ hurts.” I attempted to keep a straight face, but failed miserably when Nat started giggling and I laughed along with her. It felt good to just let go. Our laughs tapered off when my phone rang. Leaning back, I fished my cell out of the front pocket of my shorts. It was Grant calling so I decided to answer.
Endings & Beginnings: Book Three of The New Mafia Trilogy Page 3