“Okay, moving along,” I hold up my hands in front of me, surrendering to this conversation. “Tell me what we’re doing tomorrow for my birthday.” We have so many things coming up: my birthday, his birthday next month, and then prom. The dreaded graduation is looming, too, when the fork in the road will be chosen. He will decide his path, and I hope it is at FSU. I have a bad feeling about my dad, and I don’t want him anywhere near here. I’ll miss seeing him every day, but we’ll survive. I have Bianca, and I’m glad Dakota is still planning on going away to school. Those two are going to get caught eventually, and it won’t be pretty. Luckily, I have distracted Bronson, so they’ve been fortunate.
“Tomorrow, we’re going out on the boat now that it is warm again. But, tomorrow night, you’re all mine. I had to flip Bianca for tonight or tomorrow, luckily I won. I bribed her so she could have you uninterrupted tonight. Dakota and I are hanging out, so I’ll be out of your hair.” I love spending time with my best friend, but I don’t like being far away from Bronson. I need to get used to it, though. I don’t ever want to feel like a burden to him, and I don’t want that to factor in to his decision to stay here for school. So, I plaster on a smile and act like I’m thrilled for all of us.
“What will y’all do?”
“Maybe spar.” He shrugs his shoulders. “I owe him a few hits and kicks for sneaking around with my sister.” Oh shit! I can’t reply to him without giving myself away. “What? Didn’t think I noticed? And my own girlfriend covering for them.” Double shit!
“I can explain,” I start. But, I can’t. He’s right, but they wouldn’t have had to sneak if he wasn’t so unreasonable. I can’t tell him that, though.
“Save it. I’m pissed nobody shared it with me and really fucking mad at Dakota for not being man enough to come to me, but I can’t stop them. I could try, and probably succeed, but that’s a bit hypocritical.” He waves his hand between him and me. He’s right, and I’m glad he isn’t going all caveman right now.
“Aw, somebody is behaving like a big boy. You need a treat.” I lean in to kiss him, and he unexpectedly lifts me up over his body and owns my lips. Devouring. Teasing. As soon as I feel the brush of his tongue, he takes it away, tempting me, pushing me beyond my normal limits. I pull the back of his hair, capitalizing on his shock, and try to turn the tables, dominate him in this. He allows this for a moment and then takes over. Both of us are breathless when we pull away. I stare into his eyes, my chest heaving, and see the love, passion, and desire that I feel reflected in his eyes. I’m so frustrated he keeps stopping our forward progression. I get holding off on sex, but damn, can’t a girl get him to cop a feel. Or can I at least see some part of him naked?
He pats my ass, “Off you go.” When I stand, I see him adjust himself. I’m actually jealous of his hands. With a quick peck on my lips, he hollers, “Bianca! She’s all yours.” I watch him walk out of the room, and before opening the front door, he turns around and throws me a wink and a smile.
“Earth to Callie,” Bianca calls from behind me. “What was that about?”
“Which part? The part where he got me all worked up and left? Or the part where he’s going to spar with your not-so-secret boyfriend?”
“Holy hell.”
“Yep, we got busted, girlie.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.” She won’t classify what they are, so she won’t give them a title. That girl hates labeling, and don’t use the word relationship around her.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night. Now, on to our game plan.”
“What do you plan on doing, Callie?”
“Shopping. Someone once told me we were almost seventeen and should dress the part. Well, tomorrow I am actually seventeen, so I think a new bikini is in order.” I see her Machiavellian smile play across her face, and I know she’s in.
“This is why I love you.”
“Yeah, yeah you sweet talker. Let’s hit the mall.” Luckily, we always have a driver at our disposal, within reason. Both of us are old enough to drive, we have our license and she has her own car, but her father won’t allow her to drive at night. I find the perfect bikini and nix the cover up that goes with it. Bianca helps me with the perfect romper for tomorrow night. It shows a lot of leg and is strapless. Time to step up my game. I fall asleep next to my best friend and look forward to spending the day with them tomorrow. For once, I have a reason to celebrate my birth instead of cursing it.
Seeing his heated stare on me as I make my way down to the dock eases all my insecurities about how I look. He looks like he is panting, and it’s still a surreal feeling that he wants me as much as I do him. I don’t think he can love me more than I love him, but I am okay with that. “Fuck, Callie. You trying to kill me?” I hear Bianca’s gasp behind me, and she zeroes in on Dakota. And his black eye.
I don’t get a chance to respond before Bianca begins spouting off in Italian . . . they still speak it fluently in their house, but half the time I’m clueless when she goes off on a tangent. Bronson is arguing back with her, and I catch Dakota’s eye and he is just as lost as I am. I make my way over to him, “Best just to let it play out.”
“What’s he saying to her?”
“Not a clue, but you should be more worried about what she is saying to him. Or threatening to do to him.”
“They do this a lot?”
“Eh, at least once a week, sometimes more. Give it five minutes. Quick to catch fire, and it burns out rather easily. Italian blood.”
“Damn.” He whispered, staring at Bianca.
“Don’t hurt her.”
He didn’t meet my stare. “It isn’t like that with us.”
“Sure. If it were, my warning to you would be not to worry about your friend over there if you hurt her. I can hurt you far worse and in more creative ways than he ever could.”
Nothing else was said, and we continued to watch Abbot and Costello over there go at it. Just as predicted, with one last scathing glance at Bronson, Bianca walked away and joined us. Bronson followed and took my hand and led me away from them. “You look amazing, baby. Happy Birthday.”
I stood on my tiptoes and could only reach his chin, so I dropped a quick peck, “Thank you. You feel better?” I ask, nodding my head towards the denial duo. Neither one of them can admit what is starting between them; I just hope they don’t screw it up before it started.
“No. She’s really pissed at me.” I start laughing. “I guess I deserve it, huh?”
“You can answer that better than anyone. Did it make you feel better?”
“No. I wasn’t mad at him for being interested in her. He’s a good guy. He pissed me off when he tried to downplay it. I don’t want him hurting her.”
“You needed to talk to her first. She’s in the same state of denial that he is. They both keep telling each other it isn’t what it actually is, so let them figure it out.”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s go. I’m ready for some fun on the water.” The day passes swiftly. Bianca is freaking out, swearing Jaws is in the lake, when it was seaweed on her foot. The sun kissing our skin, my day couldn’t have been more perfect.
Putting the finishing touches on my make-up, I hurry downstairs to meet Bronson. It’s a bit odd dating when I practically live in his sister’s bedroom, but we make it work. Instead of coming to the door to get me, he meets me at the door. He always opens doors for me, kisses me goodnight. He is very astute about making sure I don’t miss out on the full experience.
I stop short when I see him. In gray dress pants, a light blue shirt, and his hair gelled to perfection; he is picturesque. Strong, stable, modest, humble . . . and mine. He never lets me forget it. “Hey, handsome. Looking for someone?”
“Nah, I found the perfect girl when I was eight. I’ve been waiting on her to notice me.”
“She must need glasses. If the spot becomes available, holla.”
“Callie, you can’t pull that shit off.” We both start laughing. I can’t speak slang no
matter how hard I try. He pulls me to him and inhales as he rests his chin on the top of my head. These are the moments I crave, the ones I never get enough of. Just us, together as one, and it makes me feel like no one can penetrate this bubble we’re creating.
“I missed this.” We haven’t had as much downtime as I want lately. It seems we’re always around others, on the go, he’s at the gym, or studying. Dual enrollment has been tough on him, but he’ll graduate high school with his Associate’s Degree. I know part of him did it so that any time away at college would be minimal, and he wouldn’t be away the full four years for his Bachelor’s degree. His struggle lies within himself regarding what he will do after school. He doesn’t want to join the business, but he doesn’t want to let his dad down, either.
“I’m always here. Always. Whatever you need.” I know this; he makes me feel it every day. Every moment. I have no doubts about his devotion to me. He gives me the kiss he is known for, the side of my head right on my temple, and leads me to the car. Dinner passes with ease, both of us catching up on our week, and I am careful not to bring up anything about his plans. He knows he needs to make a decision with only three months left in the school year.
“I have a question for you, Callie.”
“I’m sure I’ll have an answer.”
“Smartass. Will you go to my senior prom with me?”
“I’d love to.” I try to calm the inner part of me that wants to stand on the table and dance, but I don’t manage to control it totally. I leap out of my chair and crawl in is lap, smothering his face in kisses, giddy as hell.
“Just tell me the color of your dress when you get it so I can match.” He doesn’t care much for pomp and circumstance, but he’s doing this for me. Giving me the girly memories I cherish.
“I love you.” First time I have spoken those words out loud to him. I think them a million times a day in my head, but I need to let him know.
“I love you too, Callie. With all that I am.” He pulls a box out of his pocket and hands it to me. “Happy Birthday, beautiful girl.” I sit back in my chair and open the black velvet box. When I lift the lid, I find a silver Posey ring inside. I love the simplicity of these rings and have been admiring them for a while. Lifting it out of the box, I see the inscription.
Semper Amemus -
Our Love Is Forever
He leans over and brushes away the tears falling down my cheeks. I can’t imagine any other gift, even though he didn’t need to get me anything. Gifts have only been from his family in the past years not just from him. I am melting in my chair.
“Thank you,” I whisper around the thickness in my throat. So full of emotion right now . . . joy, wonder, gratefulness, and an overabundance of love. So much it hurts. I feel my heart forever expanding in my chest to hold it all.
Our goodnight kisses in his bedroom quickly become heated, and before long he is pulling away, leaving me wanting more. I’m frustrated, confused, and have no clue what I need. “Why do you always stop?” My tone is angry, hurt, and he is silent as he studies me.
“It’s not time, yet.”
“Why do you get to decide when it’s time? Maybe I’m ready.”
“It’s my job to take care of you, and you aren’t ready. You don’t even know what you want right now. I promise soon we will share more, but right now, this is enough.” I want to get mad, I want to storm out with a grand exit, I want him just as irritated as I am, but I do none of those things, because he’s right. I have no clue what I want. I know I get turned on, but have no idea what to do to ease it. I’m not ready for sex, and I’m very lucky he doesn’t push it, but I’m ready for more than just kisses. I do pout and turn to head to Bianca’s room without saying goodnight. I want to lick my wounds in private. Before I get three steps away, he stands and walks me to Bianca’s door, kisses my lips once more, “Goodnight. I love you.” As confused as I am, he tends to know what I need. I fall asleep with the taste of him on my lips and his words replaying in my head. He loves me.
Chapter 8
Bronson
Holding her off is getting harder and harder. My birthday passed, and she was really going all out, flaunting her tempting body in clothes that made me weak in the knees. I plan on taking things a bit further tonight, exploring her body, it’s prom, and we have the entire night together. We won’t be having sex, and as frustrated as I am, and as much as I hate pleasuring myself as I fantasize about her, it’s the right thing to do. I won’t take her virginity on the damn clichéd prom night. It’s overdone, expected, and I will make her first time as close to perfect as I can.
Posing for pictures next to her is driving me nuts. With my hand around her waist, all I feel is skin because she has on a damn backless dress. My sister is the worst kind of influence on her. It’s making it challenging to keep my hormones in check. Leaning in close to her, I whisper, “You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
“That’s not what you said yesterday when I stripped your gears or some nonsense you were hollering at me about.” Offering to teach her to drive a stick shift has been my downfall. She’s hell on my clutch, doesn’t listen to me about how to shift, and argues with me at every turn. I try to not lose my patience with her, but it’s hard. I keep reminding her she has a driver at her disposal, but I know she needs to learn. I thought it would be best to teach her on a manual, that way she will never be stuck if it’s her only option, but I think there is just too much going on for her. Tomorrow I’ll take her out in my mom’s car, an automatic, and save myself the headache. I have no idea how she actually has a license, I’m sure some money exchanged hands. Bribery is not always the best policy.
“Sorry, baby. You can strip my gears anytime you want.”
“Do you mean that?”
“Nope, tomorrow’s lesson is in my mom’s car. I can’t handle that shit anymore.” She sticks her bottom lip out, and I gently bite it and suck it in my mouth just as the flash goes off. I forgot we had an audience. My mom is beaming, my dad looking the other way, and Callie . . . she is fucking glowing.
The drive to prom was quick; Dakota and Bianca ditched us for a limo. Dakota is really trying to impress her, but she still isn’t coming around to his way of thinking. She still refuses to acknowledge she has feelings for him, and I can’t discuss much with him because that’s my sister. I just keep telling him to hang in there and then remind him not to hurt her.
Dancing with her to ‘Fall for You’ by Secondhand Serenade, I make a decision I need to talk to her about. I know I can’t pursue the DEA dream, even if my dad never was implicated in any bust I did, there is always someone in the business, no matter how loyal you think they are, they will turn on you, and any DA would want the big fish and cut the little minnow a deal. Rats. They’re everywhere. Always learning, always collecting evidence, and I can’t be in that predicament when it comes to my father. He will only have one judge in my eyes, and he has to answer to Him, never to me. I know as much as it will kill me to leave her, I have to. I have to explore what else is out there for me, not who else is out there, but I have to know if I can fully leave my dream and this life behind and create a new life for us.
“I’m going to FSU, for one year. After that you’ll be graduating, and we can figure out where we go, together.”
The tears shine in her eyes, but I also see pride. “I’m so proud of you. Thank you.” I know she has been worried about me not going because of her, but I’m going for her.
“I can come home every weekend; it’s only five hours.”
“No, you won’t. You’re going away to experience something other than this. I’m not going anywhere and I trust you. I trust in us. I’m not going to lie and say it will be easy. I’ll miss you like crazy, but, Bronson, you have to experience it all.” Her eyes dart down, and I know what she is insinuating. She kills me.
“I have everything I need in my arms. I’m going for the education, the space away from what we have grown up with, and to be a better man for
you. I’m not leaving you, or us, ever. Don’t think that, Callie.” By the expression on her face I know I haven’t fully reached her, but the fact she will remain faithful and mine, while she thinks I am going to do whatever with whomever, guts me, yet is a testament to her love for me. “I’m serious, there will be no one else. Only you.” I rub my thumb over her ring; wishing I could burn those words in her skin, make her feel them like I do.
“Yeah,” she smiles at me.
“We’re done here.” I am going to take her up to the room and somehow convince her of how I feel. Once we reach the room, her shaking has gotten worse. It started in the elevator, slight tremors in her hand, and with each floor we climbed, it became more prominent. Now she is a ball of nerves. “Relax, this isn’t what you think. We only go as far as you want, or nothing at all. It’s all at your pace, but we have a stopping point.”
“I’m scared.”
“I know. If you weren’t it wouldn’t mean as much.”
“What if I’m not ready?”
“We aren’t having sex tonight. We’ll only do what you are ready for.” I pull her to her bag, place it in her hands, and gently nudge her towards the bathroom. “Go change, we’ll watch a movie. Just like at home.” I need to ease her mind. I’ve laid a lot on her tonight, and I should have waited. I don’t want her doing anything she isn’t ready for. I know in her convoluted way she will see it as a way to hang on to me, but I’m forever tied to her.
I worry just as much as she does. Even if I come home on the weekends, she’ll be alone during the week. What if she has a bad day? I won’t be here, and she will seek solace in Bianca, or someone else. Nobody will hold her heart like I do, but insecurities have a way of getting the best of us. We all have them, and they manifest differently in each of us, sometimes we act out, sometimes we shut down, and sometimes we reach out. We communicate, and I have to make sure that is the option we take. I’m scared of not being here to protect her or remind her of my love daily. Phone calls only go so far.
Bellissimo Fortuna (Beautiful Fortune) Page 6