“Promise me you’ll take care of yourself during the week? Take your medicine, don’t forget to eat, and call me anytime you need me.” I wait for her nod of approval before scooping her up in my arms and twirling her around. Her laughter fills my ears, a melody I have memorized and plan to pull from my mind as much as I can. Her happiness is all I strive for.
“Yes, Dad.” I know she is trying to be humorous, but that isn’t funny.
“Never, Callie. Don’t compare me to him. Even joking.” I know my tone is harsh, but this is one time I don’t bother to apologize or soothe her. I guess you could say that’s a hard limit for me, and she needs to know.
“Sorry.” I know she is. I can see it with the wetness in her eyes and hear it with the tremor in her voice. I don’t respond and just take her mouth in mine and let her pour her apology into it. Our connection is like a salve that can heal the most gruesome of wounds.
Saying goodbye to her was hard, the weekend passed much too quickly and the only thing that was keeping me sane was that she has my sister with her. I asked Luis to keep his ear to the ground; something was off with Marco and Frank. I could see the fear in her eyes each time I picked her up after she was alone with them for any length of time. I know she’s keeping something from me, but she swears she isn’t. She has to open up to me if we’re going to grow. I made a promise to both of us that it would work.
My course load is harder than I expect, all the extra chemistry classes I had to take are slowly killing me. I missed Callie’s eighteenth birthday and my weekends home aren’t as frequent as I hoped for. Her dad is still making it hard on her and not allowing her to come visit me. Luckily, the semester is over, and we’ll have almost three weeks together for winter break. I don’t even go by my house to drop my stuff off, but instead I park outside her school and wait on the steps to surprise her.
I see her coming down the hallway, and the second she spots me, she runs towards me. I catch her effortlessly in my arms and just hold her close. It’s been too long since I’ve felt her in my arms, smelled her shampoo. Right now I’m home. “Miss me?”
“So much. Why didn’t you tell me you were getting in so early?”
“Wanted to surprise you. Were you riding with Binks?” I look around for my sister.
Her head bobs down, and she doesn’t answer me for a minute. “No, my dad has stopped that, and he won’t let me drive myself.”
“So how are you getting to and from school?”
“Umm . . . well.”
“Callie.”
“If my dad can he takes me or picks me up. If not, he lets one of the men.”
“Part of the family?”
“Sometimes. Not always.” I can see she is struggling with this, and I am not handling this well. Allowing his daughter to be put in situations like this is unforgiveable. These men have no loyalty, that’s why they haven’t been promoted or made. They are not to be trusted with someone I hold so valuable.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I don’t mean to shout, but it bursts out of me. None of this is her fault, and she isn’t happy about it. She’s been hiding it because she knew how I’d react. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“You’ve had so much work. I didn’t want to add to your load. It’s okay, really. Binks waits for me before school, and she always follows me home if my dad isn’t driving.” I need to buy my sister whatever the hell she wants. If it worried her that much, then I knew some shady shit was going on.
“What else aren’t you telling me?”
“Can we talk later?” She looks around the hallway of the school; we have become a spectacle embracing in the hallway.
“You bet. Besides, I haven’t had my kiss yet.” I lift her up so she is level with my face and before I can initiate the contact, she all but devours me. Her tongue seeks entrance in my mouth, and I allow it. Dueling, sliding, mimicking my every action she owns this kiss. I feel so much; her love, her anxiety, her sadness . . . it is all speaking to me through her lips on mine. I have to get in her head, get her to open up to me on this trip. I need to find out what else she is keeping from me and why.
Chapter 11
Callie
Avoiding things isn’t going to work. I may have been able to hide it while he was away at school, but now he’s home and demanding answers.
“How long has he been demanding you ride with him or the other guys?”
“It started right before Thanksgiving.”
“Why didn’t you tell me when I was home?” I know he is beating himself up for not noticing, but in his defense, he came home after school had let out for that break. It was easy to hide it.
“I didn’t want to add to your load.” He was so overwhelmed when he was home. Trying to fit time in for us and act like he wasn’t crumbling under the pressure. Every time he had an extra moment, he was studying and was barely sleeping.
“Callie, you need to tell me this stuff.”
“It’s not that big of a deal.” Now I am lying to him. It freaks me the fuck out and scares me shitless when I have to be alone with Marco or his sidekick, Jensen. I had to allow Bianca to be the snoop patrol and follow me home just to get her to agree not to tell her brother.
His eyes bore into me. “Bullshit. If it was no big deal, my sister wouldn’t be following you home, and you wouldn’t have kept it from me. You’ve got to stop hiding this shit from me, Callie.” His frustration with me is growing, but I can’t change the situation.
“Sure, Bronson. While you’re away, preparing for your future, our future, I’ll just bore and worry you to death with the mundane comings and goings of my day. If that doesn’t say needy girlfriend I don’t know what does. I am capable of making a decision on my own. I take precautions around the other guys. Excuse me for putting you first.” I’m also at my breaking point. I’ve missed him, I hate my home life, and I feel like he is angry with me for situations I have no control over.
He turns and walks out of the room . . . great. We haven’t seen each other for weeks, and within the first few hours we are arguing. I won’t go after him this time. I’m not in the wrong here, and he needs to come to terms with it.
I sit down and before I can stew in my anger, he comes barging back in the room. “I’m not going to apologize for being angry. For caring. This situation drives me crazy. You don’t communicate with me; I’m stuck at school studying my ass off and feel like I am letting down the most important person in my life. This is exactly what I didn’t want, and it hasn’t even been six months.”
“Stop. Just stop beating yourself up. You can’t be here every second of the day. You can’t stop my dad from being a dick. What you can do is be supportive when I try and stand on my own. You can’t fly off the handle when I do share something with you. I don’t do it lately because this is the reaction I get. You need to focus on you and school.”
“Damn it, Callie. You are my future. Nothing makes sense if you aren’t in it. I know it’s hard being apart, but I still want to be the one to take care of you. Be there for you. I feel like you’re slipping away, and I’m helpless to do anything about it.”
I immediately go to him. “I’m not slipping away. You aren’t going to lose me, but this takes adjustment. You went into this expecting everything to be the same, but in a way, everything changed. It’s hard, but in the long run, it will be good for us. I’ve never felt equal. Now I’m beginning to think I can contribute, lessen your burdens, let you lean on me for a change.”
Pulling me to him, he buries his head in my neck. We stand in silence. Things are off kilter, but we’re still solid. “Six more months,” he murmurs. I know until we are back together daily, he will not relax, just like I know he will make more of an effort to come home more and call consistently. Even if it’s a detriment to his studies.
“We can figure it out. One hurdle at a time.” I stroke the back of his head and grip on to his waist. I can’t let him know, but I need this link as much as he does.
“Have you at least been taking your medicine? Keeping your doctor’s appointments?”
I chuckle. “Do I not look healthy to you?”
Pulling his head up, he says, “You look better than anything I have ever seen. I just worry about you.”
“I know. All is fine. I’ve kept every appointment and even had an added procedure done.”
“What the hell is wrong? This is what I’m talking about, Callie. You don’t communicate with me.”
“Slow down there. I swear your temper is set off with a hair trigger. I had them give me the shot.”
“The what?” His eyes are crinkling at the sides, and his nose is scrunched like I just told him aliens abducted me.
“Birth control.” I wait for what I just revealed to sink in to his thick skull.
His eyes go wide, sputtering, “Were you going to tell me?”
“It’s not a secret. It would have come up eventually.”
“You’re full of surprises.”
“I’d like to be full of something.” I can’t help but laugh at the shocked expression on his face.
“Obviously it’s going to be sooner than I realized. I still want to make it special.”
“What about spontaneous?” I need him. All of him and soon. I crave that connection and the intimacy that comes with it. He is my forever; my here and now, I have no doubts.
“You’ll never know what hits you.” He winks at me. I’m sure. I’m betting on it. The smile he gives me wishes he would hit me with it now. The one that has my panties begging me to take them off, the one that is full of promises for very good and bad things to come. Yes, that is the smile he flashes me.
Finishing up the final touches on my makeup, my father barges in my room, “Where are you going?”
“The Agosto’s. Just like every year.” It’s getting harder and harder to not let my resentment and anger show.
“It’s Christmas. You won’t be going anywhere.”
“I go over there every Christmas.” I’m surprised he knows what day it is. It’s the celebration of Christ’s birthday, and he is the devil incarnate. Shouldn’t those two combined cause Armageddon?
“Not this Christmas. Your mother is cooking, and we have company.”
“Who?” The leer he gives me makes me swallow down the bile that has risen in my throat.
“Ah, I see you figured it out. Don’t look so repulsed, daughter. I have big plans for you two.”
“But Bronson . . .” His sardonic laugh cuts me off.
“When will you learn you aren’t in control of your future?” He brings a glass to his lips. Nine in the morning, and it’s filled with his signature whiskey. As soon as he leaves me alone I rush for my phone.
“Bronson,” I’m near tears. “My dad just told me I can’t come over today.”
“What?” I’m legal age now and usually he just pushes me to walk out, live at his house, but he doesn’t understand it. His dad has never been this unobtainable figure that you long for acceptance. The smart thing would be to say fuck it, pack my shit, and move on with my life. I just wish I could choose that path. I’m still the stupid girl, hanging onto any shred of hope. Plus, there’s the whole issue of not wanting to cause any more tension between our fathers.
“He’s making my mom cook and having Marco and his henchmen over.” I can’t keep the tears at bay.
“Calm down. I’ll fix it.” I don’t know how, and I don’t care. I just know I can’t be with them today, not alone with them all drinking. “Let me go do what I can. Keep your phone on you and call me if you need me.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
“I love you.” Click. I sit on my bed, barely containing the chills that are running through my body. I’m trying to make sense of the words my dad spoke, but they are jumbled in my mind. He is ruining me. As much as I fight him, he has a way of hurting me.
I hear the doorbell ring and struggle to breath. I want to call Bronson back, but I don’t. He has his hands full and deserves a day with his family. Laughter and chatter drift in my room, and I recognize Luis’s voice. I walk to my doorway and overhear my saving grace.
“Joseph and Gianna insist you come over today. After all, we’re family.” His tone is challenging, almost like he wants my dad to decline. But I know, as much as he wants to, he can’t. When the Boss summons you, you go.
“Callie!” My dad’s voice is strained. “Get your stuff, looks like you get to spend the day with Bronson, after all.” I don’t miss the ominous tone in his voice, and as I meet him at the door I don’t miss the look of solidarity and pity Luis gives me.
“Are we ready?’
“I was expecting my own guests, and Carla isn’t ready. We will follow you over. After all, I think you have what you came to collect.”
“Very well. Do you want me to let them know you had a previous engagement you can’t get out of?” Luis raises his eyebrows waiting on an acceptable answer from my father.
“Ah, that may be better. Sorry, Luis.”
“Very well. Merry Christmas, Frank.” As I walk past my father, the squeeze of my arm lets me know this won’t go unpunished. It will be worth it, though.
Once we make it to the car, I hug Luis. “Thank you.”
“Not necessary, Callie. I’m sorry.” He nods towards my house. I have no clue what he is apologizing for, none of it’s his fault, although the list of what is wrong in that house could fill a novel. Maybe even a series.
We drive in silence, neither of us sure what to say. Nothing would ever be spoken in front of me but I began to wonder if Luis and Frank had their own doubts about my dad.
“You know he is still hung up on me being with Marco.” I hadn’t even told Bronson that, I don’t know why I just put the nail in my father’s coffin.
“Is that so? It makes sense, he hasn’t let up since Bronson’s graduation about Marco joining the family.” As he realizes he spoke his inner thoughts out loud, he clears his throat. “Don’t worry, Bronson loves you, nothing will break that.” I just nod at him. I have to wonder though. Will my father actually succeed in whatever he is planning? And at whose expense?
Christmas was more somber than I ever remember. Joseph and Luis were preoccupied, Gianna was shooting sympathetic looks at me, Bianca wanted to move me in to her room, and Bronson was on edge. My biggest fear is coming true. My burdens have carried over to this family and ruined a happy occasion for them.
“I’m just going to go home,” I tell Bronson.
“Like hell you are.” He holds my hand tighter.
“It’s clear me being here is bothering your family and ruining their holiday. It’s too much.”
“It isn’t a bother, Callie. We’re worried. We’re mad. We can’t figure out a way to protect you. Everyone in this room loves you.”
“He’s right.” Bianca sits next to me and puts her head on my shoulder grabbing my other hand at the same time.
“You guys act like I’m dying. He’s a dick. I get it. I live it. Only five more months and then we’re off to college.” I hope I pulled off my false bravado with them because five months is a lifetime to face. Every day it is getting worse. Maybe I should just move in here . . . but that’s the same as today, I’d brink the drama to their house and I’m not willing to do that. I’m not willing to concede to my father, he’s not winning this battle.
Chapter 12
Bronson
My last night home is going to be spent with just Callie. I’m taking her to the docks; it’s a quiet night, so we can be alone. I have to head back to school for a study group session, and our time during this break has been less than stellar.
Since I intervened on Christmas, her dad has kept her home most days. I’ve gotten some phone calls and texts, but he usually interrupts those with some pressing matter he needs her for. His newest excuse is her grades. She has a B in her Humanities class, and he is insisting she do work over the break so she won’t struggle next term. That class is a college credit, and weighted,
so she actually has an A, but I can’t argue with him. Luis and my father warned me not to confront him.
“Bronson there are more issues at hand than we can discuss. We’re handling it, but tread lightly.”
My father is distraught over the wavering loyalty his once right-hand man is displaying.
“Son, leave it for us to handle. I promise there are more eyes on her than you realize. She’s family; we’ll protect her. She’s your future; we honor her.”
So that’s what I’ve done all break. Tonight, she was able to go out, her dad was occupied and didn’t know she was leaving the house. Hopefully he won’t miss her until I have to leave tomorrow morning. She insisted on driving her new car over, so I’m waiting outside for her. I was shocked that her dad actually gave her a car for Christmas, as he’s never given her a gift. I’ve already packed everything we will need for tonight. If I have my way, we will come back here and spend the entire night in each other’s arms.
As soon as I see her car pull into the driveway, I head over to her and open her door as she comes to a stop. She looks up at me with such adoration in her eyes I sometimes have to remind myself she is mine, and I’m worthy of her love. She thinks I hung the moon . . . and the stars, and has for as long as I can remember. I never want to give her a reason to doubt that. I will work my ass off every day just for her to look at me like that. I go to pull her up from the seat, and she disconnects her phone from the stereo. Picking her up and bracing her against her car, I delve into her mouth. No finesse, just the carnal need to taste her. To connect with her. I give her a few gentle kisses to calm down, and watch her try to catch her breath. A surge of pride flows through me, knowing I made her breathless. I made her lose herself enough in my kisses that she forgot she needed oxygen. Best. Feeling. Ever.
Bellissimo Fortuna (Beautiful Fortune) Page 8