“We have a child. You can’t just be done.”
“Yes, I can. We have an arrangement. It works.”
“You aren’t being fair.”
“Oh, and you should get an award in that? Give me a break. Now leave me alone.”
“You’re pissing me off, Callie.”
“Good, how does it feel?”
“We can take custody to the courts. Get a damn good lawyer.”
“If you think you are going to take my son away from me then you are underestimating me.”
“Like father, like daughter with the threats.” Okay, enough. That one hurt, and I’m done. I can’t engage anymore.
I bend to pick Angelo up, calming my breathing so he can’t pick up on what’s going on, and as I stand I feel the worse pain. I feel like I’m being ripped in half and dizzy. I can’t grab onto anything because I have Angelo in my arms, and I am going down. Before I lose consciousness, I hear the scream of my son. I am helpless.
Chapter 29
Bronson
Seeing both of them falling backwards towards the floor scared me. I couldn’t get there fast enough and was only able to grab the back of Angelo’s romper before he crashed face first through the glass table. Now, he is screaming and blood is pouring from his head, and Callie is lying motionless on the floor. My mom, Bianca, and Dakota rush in and jump into action.
“What happened?” my mom takes Angelo from me. “Bianca go get me a towel.” Dakota is on his knees assessing Callie and I’m just standing there realizing everything I had ever wanted, ever needed was right in front of me and I destroyed it.
“Bronson, what the fuck happened?”
“I don’t know. We were arguing, she picked up the baby and collapsed.” Oh God, is she breathing? I look to Angelo and he has calmed down and my mom has a towel pressed to his head stopping the blood.
“Call for an ambulance. Her breathing is labored and she isn’t responsive.” I see Bianca calling and I watch it all happen around me, feeling helpless, like I’m not in my body but watching as a bystander. I can’t hear what they are saying, can’t respond to their demands.
“Figlio,” I hear my mom whisper and for a moment, I can hear my dad calling me that. Suddenly I feel him, almost as he is standing next to me, willing me to man up. Stand up and do what I need. I fall to my knees next to Dakota and grab a pillow from the couch putting it under her head feeling for any wounds. A knot has formed on the back of her head, but I don’t think that’s the cause of her being out. “Stay next to her,” I tell Dakota.
I go to my mom and take Angelo from her and he snuggles into my neck, whimpering. I sit down and gently remove the towel soaked through with blood. “This looks like it may need a few stitches,” I look into his eyes, make sure he is responding. I hand him back to my mom and I hear the ambulance outside. “Go open the door, Bianca.”
They make fast work loading Callie up, and after taking a history they have her hooked up to fluids and an oxygen mask. The other team is checking Angelo out, and I feel torn in two. The bleeding has stopped and they agree a few stitches are in order. I don’t want to traumatize him with an ambulance ride so I opt to take him in. “Bianca, stay with Callie. I’ll be right there.”
I second guess my decision to leave her, but I know what she would have done, what my own mother would have done, and in that moment I need to be what she needs, not what I selfishly want. I don’t care what happened in the past, all that matters is the future, and I want that future more than I’ve ever wanted anything.
I’m holding Angelo while they put the stitches in his head, and Bianca walks in her eyes red-rimmed and a worried expression on her face. “Where is Callie?”
“Surgery,” she wails.
Holy fuck. “When?”
“As soon as they took her I came to find y’all.” My mom is right next to me, and Dakota is in the waiting room.
“What happened?”
“The doctor said the ulcer had eaten through the lining into a blood vessel or multiple vessels. There was a lot of bleeding, and he said it had been happening for a while.” She probably ignored the signs, and I hadn’t been paying attention. I was too focused on my own pride and hurt. Then I remember the last words I said to her. I hand Angelo to my mom as soon as the last stitch is in and head towards the main hospital.
I’m shaking, trying to be strong, what if scenarios playing in my mind and wondering how I’ll ever forgive myself or move on from her. I find myself in front of the chapel and go inside. I light a candle for my father, for Luis, and one for Callie. I don’t even go to the pew falling on my knees right in front of the altar. I don’t know how I remember it but I recite Psalm 38, one I learned as a child.
O Lord, in your anger punish me not; in your wrath chastise me not. For your arrows have sunk deep in me; your hand has come down upon me. There is no health in my flesh because of your indignation; there is no wholeness in my bones because of my sin. For my iniquities have overwhelmed me; they are like a heavy burden, beyond my strength. Noisome and festering are my sores, because of my folly. I am stooped and bowed down profoundly; all the day I go in mourning. For my loins are filled with burning pains; there is no health in my flesh. I am numbed and severely crushed; I roar with anguish of heart. O Lord, all my desire is before you; from you my groaning is not hid. My heart throbs, my strength forsakes me; the very light of my eyes has failed me. For I am very near to falling; and my grief is with me always. Indeed, I acknowledge my guilt; I grieve over my sins. Forsake me not, O Lord; my God be not far from me! Make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation. Let me know, O Lord, my end and what is the number of my days, that I may learn how frail I am. A short span you have made my days, and my life is as naught before you; only a breath is any human existence. Hear my prayer, O Lord, to my cry give ear; to my weeping be not deaf! For I am but a wayfarer before you, a pilgrim like all my fathers. Turn you gaze from me that I may find respite, ere I depart and be no more.
I admit my weakness, my sins, and my hopes and still pray over and over. After I’m finished, I wipe my face and try to find Callie and get whatever information I can. Bianca and Dakota are sitting inside the waiting room I was directed to. “Mom took Angelo home. He’s perfectly fine but was hungry and tired.” I nod and take a seat.
“This was just an accident, man. Don’t blame yourself,” Dakota clasps my shoulder.
“Really? How do you figure it isn’t my fault? For months you’ve done nothing but tell me what an ass I was and that one day it may be too late. Maybe today is that day, and you know what? You were right, both of you. I was an ass. I was every name you could call me and she kept trying. Just like when we were kids, no matter what I did I had her love. I haven’t even given her the courtesy of hearing her reasons for the choices she made, and who knows, they may be damn good choices. I was blinded by my own pain, not even considering she had her own. So, yeah, man, this is on me.”
It is silent, and when the doctor comes in and lets us know she is stable, and we can visit one at a time, I don’t even give them the option of going in. She will be here at least three days and all of those days I will be a presence at her side, I just hope she wants that. After our words today, I’m not so sure.
Looking at her, I don’t know how I missed all the signs staring at me. She is frail, her bones showing through her skin and the slight purple under her eyes is now almost black. Her hair doesn’t shine like it used to and her color isn’t creamy or pale, it is sickly and almost translucent. I hate myself more right now than I ever hated anyone, including her father.
Even though the surgery was emergency, the procedure wasn’t too invasive so she begins waking up. As soon as she sees me she flinches. “Angelo?”
“He’s fine,” I walk closer to her and brush her cheek with my fingertips. She immediately turns away from me. “Four stitches, he was a champ.”
“Oh, God.” Her despair mixed with her tears about does me in.
“I promise it’s fi
ne. Callie, he’s a kid, he won’t even remember.”
“But I will. I fucked up and put him in jeopardy. You’re all right. I can’t do this, I’m failing.”
“Hey, who said that?” She shoots me a look letting me know I’ve implied it more than once. “I was wrong. You’re a great mom. I was being a dick. I’m sorry.”
“Stop, Bronson. I don’t need you being nice.”
“I’m being honest. For the first time in a long time.” Her eyes lock onto mine, and I try to open up and let her see what I really feel. Love.
She quickly looks away, “How long will I be here?”
“A few days. Why weren’t you taking your medicine?”
“I don’t have insurance. I couldn’t afford it.”
“Fuck.”
“Now you sound like Bianca.” I made a promise to her . . . to myself . . . so many years ago and I let her down. No matter what transpired between us, I failed her. It hurts. She couldn’t afford her damn pills, and I turned a blind eye. Didn’t push harder for her to take my help. Hell, there were so many things I could have done. I could have stocked Angelo up with diapers, food, clothes, anything to lessen her load. I chose to let her burden all those on her own, always taking for granted the fact that he had everything he needed when she sent him to me. My choice about killed her, and I’ve been punishing her for her choices, and I don’t even know why she made them.
“I’m tired,” she tells me.
“So sleep.” I smirk at her.
“You leaving?”
“No.” She rolls her eyes, uncomfortable with my change of heart. “When you wake up we can talk.”
“Goody,” glad to see she hasn’t lost her wit. “Just what every girl wants to hear.” She turns on her side and surprisingly drifts off to sleep. Dakota sneaks Bianca back to the room; she was driving him crazy not being able to see Callie. I send them both home and tell them to come back tomorrow. Maybe we can sneak Angelo in for a few minutes, he will be missing her and vice versa.
I doze waiting for her to wake up, and after an hour, she finally stirs again. “You’re still here?”
“You are observant.”
“Get it over with.”
“What?”
“You said we were going to talk. Our last conversation wasn’t going to stellar so lay it out. Tell me what you are going to fight me for.” I’ve caused her to think the worst in me. I’ve caused her to doubt her abilities and broken the best part of her . . . her heart.
“No. Let’s forget that conversation.”
“I think you are right,” her voice is as tiny as she is.
“About what?”
“He’s better off with you. I can’t do this. I fail at everything I do. I can’t be the reason he gets hurt again.” She is fucking killing me here.
“Stop. Don’t believe that. He is not better off with me. He’s better off with us.”
“Except that ship sailed.”
“You’ve been dying to talk to me for months. Here’s your chance, I’m listening.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“It will always matter. I shouldn’t have made you believe it didn’t. Do you want me to tell you who Amy is?”
“Not a topic I’m keen on discussing. Pass.”
She makes me smile. “Okay, but we will have to talk about it at some time.”
“Once the nausea passes I’ll let you know. That is a vomit worthy story I’m sure.”
“Callie, what am I going to do with you?”
“What do you want to know?”
“Why? Why did you leave?” I hear her suck in a deep breath.
“That morning he summoned me. The envelope wasn’t from FSU; it was from him. I had just found out I was pregnant and couldn’t wait to tell you that night. He had all these pictures of you, alone and vulnerable. He made it very clear he could take you out at any time. I realized too late that I should have just shown them to you and let you handle it. But I didn’t. I went over there. I don’t know what I was going to do. Reason with him? Demand he leave us alone?” She stops pausing, drifting off into space.
“You okay?”
“Give me a minute.” I reach out and take her hand.
“Take all the time you need.”
Minutes pass, and she starts again, “So I get there and he tells me his plan. I was going to break up with you, create enough of a distraction for you so he could get some men in place. I refused. I wasn’t going to let him take anymore from you. He expected that . . . with a flip of the switch he altered my decision. He had your mom’s house wired, and I was watching video of your house. I knew that wouldn’t be the end of it. Even if I agreed, he wouldn’t leave you alone. So I used the one thing I had . . . Angelo.”
“How?”
“To guarantee your safety. I told him that if you were hurt or killed at his hands he would never see his grandchild again. Hanging the proverbial carrot in his face that it may be a boy got me what I wanted. I knew eventually you would take him down and I hoped it wouldn’t be too late. I don’t’ know what I thought, Bronson. There was so much happening. Then you came over and I had to watch you break in front of me all the while trying to keep it together. I wavered when you left, almost said to hell with it and take our chances, but I couldn’t.”
“Why?”
“When I got back inside and he saw he was losing me, he put another screen on. I watched them turn off Luis’s breathing machine and inject his IV with something. I watched him gasp, stare in terror, begging with his eyes because he couldn’t speak. He made sure I saw what he was capable of.” She curls into the fetal position and sobs.
Fuck, if I had just listened months ago. She really did what she had to do to ensure my safety in no regards to herself. She knew I would be bitter, pissed and she still chose my life over her happiness. I crawl in bed beside her and hold her through her sobs. “I’m sorry, Callie. God, I don’t deserve your forgiveness but give it to me, please.” She doesn’t respond, just keeps purging the memories from her system through her tears.
When she turns to me, her words cut me. “So see, even if you now see I made the right choice I still fucked up. I can’t do this. I need you to leave. If you still want an attorney, fine, but I won’t fight you. I can’t anymore, whatever you want, take it. I have nothing left. I could have killed our son tonight; I could have killed him all those months ago when I put our fate and yours in my father’s hands. Please, just don’t take him all the away from me, I love him.”
“Never. I love you. Listen to me, I. Love. You. I’m fucking sorry; I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you. I’m not taking him away and I can’t leave you. I can’t.”
“You can. Just follow my lead from those years ago. One foot in front of the other.” She turns and refuses to interact with me. I don’t leave, even when she falls asleep. I’ll prove it to her, gain her trust back. Gain her love back. I almost lost her, more than once and never again. Our father’s sins aren’t ours but we continue to battle them and are cut by them. I want to break that cycle and I want to be hers again. She’s never stopped being mine.
When I see her ribs where her gown has gaped open, I know I can fix this. There scripted up her ribcage is ‘l'amore conquista tutto’ . . . love conquers all. Yes, in this case my love will conquer her heart and bring her back to her family.
Chapter 30
Callie
He says he’s sorry and stays by my side, but in all this back and forth, past and present I don’t trust him. I don’t believe him. So because I’m near death and injured our child he is seeing clearly? How about all the months I begged him for his forgiveness, just to listen to me, or the fact I busted my ass and risked my life to bring him the information he needed to bring my father down, and reunite him with his son? I guess those don’t matter.
Sitting at my bedside, assuring me he isn’t taking my child away and promising to be there from now on . . . it all falls on deaf ears. I notice the one explanation he
didn’t give me . . . Amy. I could get over it or stomach it better if it was a casual fuck, but she knew too many things, which makes me believe this wasn’t a chance encounter. I’d be better if he had a slew of one-night stands. I’m just so tired and no matter how many times I tell him he doesn’t let up.
“You ready to come home?” Bianca is packing my clothes.
“I may need Angelo to stay with y’all more than normal until I can get back on my feet.”
“Girl, you’re crazy. You are coming to the house until you are healed. Then I bet my brother carts your skinny ass to Miami. Which really sucks because then he takes my little man with him.”
“Not happening. I’m not staying at your house expecting you all to nurse me back to health and I’m not going anywhere with your brother.”
“Why not?” Bronson sweeps in.
Holy hell, personal space people. “Because I don’t like you very much.”
“Yeah, I’ll grow on you. Mom is with Angelo getting his stitches checked and he is grumpy missing his mom. Once you are sprung we can go down to the office and then I’ll talk y’all back to the house.”
Does nobody listen to me? “Okay, let’s start over. I have my own house. One Angelo and I live in. I appreciate the offer and will take the extra help with Angelo but I’m not staying at your house, or your mom’s house. I’m staying in my own home, with my son. And thanks for making sure he got to his appointment.”
“Your house doesn’t have an extra bedroom so if you insist staying there, you’ll have to share a bed with me and I’m all for it if you think you’re up to it,” he wags his eyebrows at me.
These people are fucking delusional. “Not happening. You aren’t staying, you aren’t bossing me around and I don’t have to listen to you.”
“Okay.” He kisses my damn temple and I want to melt. Why does he do that? I look up, see his smirk, and realize he didn’t forget how that used to affect me. I squint my eyes and give him my best back off look. He chuckles while lifting his hands up in surrender stepping backwards.
Bellissimo Fortuna (Beautiful Fortune) Page 18