by Nashoda Rose
For the last few days, Ream and the band were gone during the day to the recording studio, Emily was teaching a horse clinic, and I spent every waking moment painting. It had always been my way to deal with emotions. I was so good at avoiding them, and my outlet was to paint. That way I could remain hidden behind a veil of poise the rest of the time.
The cuts on my face were healing which meant they were itchy as hell, and I was glad when eight days passed, although I was also apprehensive at Ream’s reference to things changing.
It was Friday afternoon when Matt took me to the doctor’s to have them removed. He was worried about the pain killers I was on and didn’t want me to drive myself. I didn’t tell him I stopped taking the pain killers days ago. I was worried about them reacting with my other drugs. Matt dropped me off while I was getting my sutures removed so he could swing by the drug store to pick me up more vitamin D.
I walked out of the doctor’s office to wait for Matt when I saw Ream leaning casually against his car, arms and ankles crossed, looking like a lion leisurely waiting on his cliff for his mate.
And it stole my breath away. He was so relaxed and yet still so full of intensity. I walked over to him with a sultry sway and his brows rose as he looked me up and down and then the corner of his mouth curved up which made me smile because witnessing Ream smile was like being handed the sun.
When I stopped in front of him, he did something unexpected … Ream cradled my chin in his hand then leaned forward and kissed up along the scar on my cheek and then across the one on my forehead.
“I’ll kill him if I ever get the chance. For these. For putting his hands on you.” He moved to my lips and kissed me, slow and soft like the gentle touch of a feather. “You’ll always be my beautiful. Nothing will ever change that. Inside and out, Kat.”
He pulled away a few inches and then showed me his left arm. It was a butterfly like he had on his other arm, but on this one he had the word Beautiful curving over the top. “You make everything ugly inside me beautiful, Kat.”
I stared at the ink, the skin still red and inflamed. The artist had captured the butterfly in flight, the shadow of its fluttering wings making it pop from his skin. The most intricate designs decorated the wings with black and a brilliant blue.
I looked up at him. I didn’t have a chance to say anything as he lowered his mouth to mine, soft and gentle like a feather brushing up against my lips.
He hadn’t attempted to kiss me since the attack. But it wasn’t that; it was that Ream didn’t do gentle kissing. He was passionate, hard, and insistent. He was trying to be tender as his lips roamed over mine sweet and warm, but I needed him to be rough and unforgiving. I needed Ream to be Ream.
“God, Ream, kiss me damn it.”
“You just had your stitches—”
“If you don’t kiss me like you mean it right now, I’m walking away.” That was a lie and I suspected he knew that.
He groaned then flipped me around, and I staggered backwards until my spine was against the car. His mouth hit me hard, seeking, claiming, and finding me all at once. My hands slid up his chest to feel his heart hammering beneath my palms.
He pulled back for a second to look at me then tilted his head and his mouth slammed into mine again. It was two cars colliding, bent then broken now fusing together.
The ache between my legs vibrated as he pressed into me. I rubbed my thigh up against his and he grunted then slid his hands down my back to my ass and picked me up so I could curl my legs around him.
“Jesus, baby. I’ve missed you.”
He didn’t let me respond, and honestly I wanted to avoid all talk and just kiss him because I’d needed this for far too long. Now I was getting it and I didn’t want it to end. It was one thing we never lost, the passion for one another.
His lips softened against mine and our frantic need slowed, but the urgency still claimed us as he held me pinned between him and the car. His fingers curled into my ass and I moaned. “I want you to trust me again, baby.”
“Ream? Kat?”
A car door slammed.
Matt. And he didn’t look happy—at all.
“What are you doing here, Ream?”
Ream didn’t let me go but let me slide down his body until my feet hit the pavement. He half-turned toward my brother like a protective wall of muscle. I ducked under his arm and was going to ward off Matt, who looked ready to start a fight, but Ream grabbed my hand and pulled me back.
“Matt. It’s fine,” I said.
“What’s your problem with me?”
“You’re an ass. That’s my problem,” Matt retorted, still glaring at Ream.
“Says the guy who didn’t tell his sister about Lana. Fuck man, why the hell wouldn’t you say anything? You knew what your sister thought.”
“Because she is better off thinking you’re a piece of shit.”
“Matt. Seriously?” I said. “That is so not cool.”
“He shows up at my bar. You’re drunk as hell with another guy and this asshole is saying shit about needing time. I saw you two leave together two nights before that. I’m not stupid, Sis.” Shit, Brett must have overheard. “Then he loses his shit and I need to have his ass thrown out of my bar. No, Kat. You don’t need a guy like him in your life. No stress remember?”
“Matt, stop.”
Ream locked his arm around my waist and pulled me into him. “Baby, if your brother needs to say shit …”
“Fuckin’ right I have shit to say to you.” Matt stopped right in front of us and as Emily and I would say he was ‘on the burner.’ “You had your chance. You screwed up. You’re not getting that again. And I don’t care that you showed up at the hospital this time. I let it happen because Kat, for some reason, wanted you there. But hooking up with you again is a mistake and I’m not letting her make it twice.”
“Matt. Let me—”
He turned toward me. “What’s the deal, Kat? I thought you were done with him. He doesn’t deserve you.”
Ream’s entire body went stiff and completely still. When he spoke it was with a hard, gruff tone that even I didn’t want to mess with. “Maybe I don’t. But this is between her and me—not you.”
Matt’s hands clenched and the pink of his cheek turned red. He was ready to blow a gasket.
The pins and needles in my legs sparked like fireworks. “Both of you. Stop it,” I shouted.
Neither of them paid attention to me, and Ream let me go as he strode toward Matt, fists clenched, body tense. My legs weakened as the tingling turned to numbness and I staggered into the car, grabbing at the edge of the door for support. A slight yelp escaped me as I just about fell.
“Fuck.” Ream dove for me, wrapped his arm around my waist. “Is it your legs?” I glanced up at Matt and saw the surprise in his face. “Babe, get in the car while I deal with this.”
Matt’s voice was suddenly calm and quiet as he stared at me with shock. “He knows?”
I nodded.
Ream tightened his hold around my waist and Matt’s expression instantly changed from fury to concern. I couldn’t blame him; he’d raised me, been through all the testing, and sat with me while the neurologist gave me the bad news that I had Multiple Sclerosis. I remember him reaching across the space between us and taking my hand. It was the most comforting gesture he could’ve ever done. No words. No anger for what I’d been dealt. Just support. I’d always remember that moment. I’d been sixteen and scared, not understanding what this meant for the rest of my life. But I knew I had Matt and that made everything a lot less scary.
“You need to sit,” Ream whispered into my ear.
“I’m good. Just don’t let me go for a minute.” His arm around me was the only thing keeping me from landing on my ass. “Matt, I love you. But I can fight my own battles.” He opened his mouth and I quickly continued, “Back off.”
He glared at Ream. “Hurt her again and be ready to move to another country.”
“I move anywhere, she’s co
ming with me.”
“Oh shit,” I mumbled.
“Get in, beautiful.”
“Do you even have a clue what MS is? My guess is you don’t and—”
“Matt. No.” Crap. Ream was not going to take any accusation lightly.
But Matt kept going. “She can’t go anywhere. She’s sick and her disease is eating away at the myelin on her nerves. Do you even have a clue what myelin is? Well, I fuckin’ do, and she’ll never be going on tour with you, did you think of that? Health insurance won’t cover her MS out of the country. I bet you never thought that far ahead, did you? I wonder why? Because you’re a crazy, fucked-up asshole, that’s why. You’ll use her then push her aside when things get rough for her. My advice … walk away now before I have to kick your ass when you fuckin’ hurt her—again.”
Whoa. I was taken aback by Matt’s words. He’d always been protective of me, and I loved him for it, but it also pissed me off because I hid my disease from everyone so I wasn’t treated like he just treated me. Weak. Vulnerable. Incapable. I was none of those things and I fought real damn hard to make sure I wasn’t.
Ream urged me into the front seat and then stepped back. I grabbed for his arm, but he avoided me and moved toward Matt. He didn’t hesitate as he threw the first punch. Matt was ready though and at the last second dodged the blow and took it to the shoulder instead of the intended jaw. Matt tackled Ream to the pavement.
“Matt. Stop. Ream.” I couldn’t do anything but sit there and watch as they punched and rolled around on the ground. I winced when I heard a sharp crack as Matt’s fist connected with Ream’s cheek and then Ream elbowed Matt across the face.
“Stop it.”
Ream jumped on top of Matt and pinned him with his arm to his neck, cutting into his air supply. “You don’t fuckin’ get it, do you? Her disease doesn’t have ahold of her … she has ahold of the disease with a goddamn iron glove. She hides it from those who mean the most to her because you protect her like she’s fuckin’ sick and she thinks everyone else will too … but she’s not. She’s living. And I intend to be there for every second of it.” His voice got quieter. “And if it takes leaving the band, then I will. But don’t ever say I’m using her again.”
My breath hitched at Ream’s words. He stood up and his eyes immediately found mine. His words echoed in my head over and over again.
He understood.
He got it.
He knew how I felt.
And did he just say he’d leave the band for me?
For once I was speechless. Tantalizing warmth spread through my body as we stared at one another. I heard Matt climbing to his feet, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Ream. Didn’t I promise myself to live each day to the fullest? To take risks? Wasn’t Ream a risk I was willing to take? There was no question I wanted him, but I still wasn’t ready to jump in with both feet like he wanted. With Ream, it was proceed with caution and right now I had one foot in and one out.
“Baby,” he said and held out his hand. It settled in mine and I wanted to sigh.
I looked at my brother. “Matt, no matter what happens … I’m going to be okay.”
“Kat … Jesus.” He glanced at Ream and we all were silent for a few seconds. Then Matt, with blood running from his nostril, held out his hand to Ream. “Okay, buddy.” Buddy? It was buddy now? “Maybe you do have the balls to take on my sister and understand what it entails. And I’m not just talking about her MS. But I’m still watching and if you fuck up … I’ll roast your balls.”
“Fair enough.” Ream squeezed my hand. “We’ll be back in a couple of days.”
“What?” I looked up at him and he winked. It was sweet and cute and I loved when he showed that part of himself.
Matt frowned. “You have everything she needs? She has drugs that—”
Ream raised his brows. “Yeah, Matt. I got this.”
Matt hesitated another second, and I saw the conflict on his face. He’d always worry about me, he’d made it his job, but he had to stop worrying and start living for himself. Sometimes, I wish he never knew about my MS. But living with this disease alone … it was hard facing the mystery of it … the unknown of what could happen to me. Despite my will to be strong and face this alone as much as I could, I needed my brother.
“Love you, Sis.” Matt then strode back to his car.
“Ream? What do you mean a couple of days?”
“We’re taking some time to sort shit out, you and I. No distractions.”
And that was him wanting me to jump in with both feet. “Whoa, I don’t think—”
“Yeah, don’t think. Just do.” Ream closed my door then went around to the other side and folded in. Within seconds we were moving.
“Ream?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Thank you.” For him saying what he did to Matt, for being at the hospital when I knew he had trouble staying there, for giving me time after the attack but still being there if I needed him. It was for all of it and I knew he got that.
He nodded and kept his eyes glued to the road. After several minutes he said, “This weekend we get back where we started from—our friendship.”
I missed the Ream I’d known at the farm. And I wanted that back too, but I really didn’t know if that could ever be built back up again.
“No sex.”
“Excuse me?” Now, that was a surprise. Ream and I had passion in abundance and he wanted to go away for two days and not have any?
“This isn’t about that. We need time to sort our shit out and sex makes it complicated.”
“Well, maybe I want complicated.” I didn’t, far from it, but us alone … well if I had one foot in then it was to have sex with Ream. The friendship was high risk and there was a Slow Down Construction Ahead sign flashing.
“You’re not getting it. Now put on your seat belt before I have to stop the car and do it for you.”
I reached over my shoulder and brought the belt across me and clicked it in place. “I need my injections if we’re going to be gone a couple of days.”
“Taken care of.”
I jerked my gaze to him and he briefly met my eyes. “You planned this?”
“Baby, why do you think I met you at the docs?”
“How do you know where my needles are?”
“That big smart-ass horse of yours told me.”
I smiled, he chuckled and the sound sparked a flame inside me. “What if I said no?”
“I’d planned on throwing you in the car anyway.”
“You can’t just throw a person in a car and drive off. That’s kidnapping.”
His brows rose as he looked at me for a second. “I call it coercion.”
I snorted.
“That drug you take is kept in the fridge. You keep a small one in your closet.” Shit, he researched the drug I was on and knew it was kept in the fridge? It was safe to keep them at room temperature for a week at a time.
“Well, I hope you don’t plan on going across the border because I need a letter to travel with those drugs.”
“We’re not going over the border.”
“Okay, so where?”
Ream laughed and I loved how the tension he always had in his expression briefly relaxed in the moment he let the laughter in. Even when I saw him playing the guitar up on stage, looking sexy hot, he wasn’t relaxed. He was intense and focused.
“You don’t like surprises, do you?”
“Of course I do. I’m spontaneous.”
It was his turn to snort.
“What?”
“You can believe that if you want, but we both know it’s a lie. You pretend that’s what you’re doing, but what you do is try and control every aspect of your life.”
“Well, you should know. You’re the definition of control.”
His lips twitched and damn it, I wanted to lean over and kiss them. “You’re right. But you fucked that up from the moment we met.” I opened my mouth then shut it again when I caught a glim
pse of his scary scowl that sent shivers of desire and fear through me at the same time. “So, now I’m smoothing out the wrinkles.”
“Do I have no say in any of this?”
He glanced at me and just the slide of his gaze running the length of me had me shifting uneasily in my seat. “No. That time has passed. I gave you time to pull your head out of your ass. You didn’t. I get back from tour and you’re with some prick who doesn’t know how to look after his girl.”
“What happened to me wasn’t Lance’s fault. And my head isn’t in my ass.”
Ream threw back his head and laughed. “I sure as fuck hope not. But still … you’re doing what I want this weekend.”
And I didn’t like the sound of that. “I don’t like being told what to do or being looked after.”
“Yeah, I got that loud and clear, beautiful. But this weekend you’re getting that.” He raised his brows when I went to object. “I want two nights.”
My heart pumped faster and faster as I began to be fully aware of what the situation was. “To what?”
“To have no arguments and give you what you need.”
“How do you know what I need, Ream?” But despite what had gone on between us, I think he did know.
He looked completely at ease with his hand slung over the steering wheel and one leg bent. “Kat, it’s a weekend of no arguing with me. A couple of days. Just us.”
Words were easily forgotten; actions made the difference, and Ream’s actions in the past were shit until recently … Could I let him have control, no arguing for two days?
“And if I say no? If I want you to take me home?” I was curious as to what he’d say. We were both stubborn and liked to get our own way, even if it was a way we didn’t particularly want, but just wanted to win.
“You in my car?” I nodded, suspicious as to where he was going with this. “Do you know where we’re going?” He knew full well I had no idea where we were going. “You had your chance to say no before you got in the car. Now, you’re with me and I get my time. Then you can decide.”
“Decide what?”
“Whether to let me in and give me all of you.”