by Nashoda Rose
He kissed me again, this time slow and soft, the plush velvet touch of his lips against mine, tongue exploring and tender. He held me on either side of my head as he did it, and it was sweet, not something I expected from Ream. He was all intensity when he argued with me, with his kisses, with everything. But I’d seen way more to him this weekend. I saw the side of him I’d forgotten about from when we’d first met.
We didn’t say anything as he gently washed me everywhere, his hands caressing over my body as if I was a precious gem he was afraid to break. A complete contrast to what we’d done five minutes ago.
When I went to wash him, he stiffened and moved away. Ream shut off the water and helped me out of the tub.
He wrapped me in a towel then proceeded to dry me with another. Even taking each foot and going between my toes. It was silly but I thanked God that I had on fancy red nail polish with silver swirls on my big toes. He ruffled my hair with the towel then tossed it on the counter before pulling me into his arms.
“My ice cream good enough for you, baby.”
I burst out laughing and then he smothered it with a sweet soul claiming kiss.
Ream and I spent the next several hours making dinner and drinking wine and sitting out on the deck watching the sun go down. It was quiet and calm over the water, and I hadn’t felt so relaxed with Ream—ever. There was still the sexual tension of a guitar string being pulled taut, but the small touches and Ream’s kisses were sweet and I soaked it up.
When he pulled his phone from his pocket and slid it across the table to me, I was surprised because I’d lost the wager. Besides, I really hadn’t even thought of calling Emily or Matt.
He stood. “She’s called three times. I’ll do the dishes.”
I reached for his hand and the familiar sparks scintillated through me as our fingers touched. “Thank you.” I squeezed his hand. “For bringing me here.”
He nodded then picked up our plates and went inside.
I called Emily and wasn’t surprised when I heard Logan’s voice instead, since it was Ream’s phone I was using.
“Where are you? You missed recording.” Logan skipped any niceties and went directly to the point.
“It’s me.”
He grunted, then there was silence, and then Emily’s voice on the other end.
“Kat. What the hell? Where are you? Matt says Ream took off with you. Then I get a message from Ream that you’re with him, but he doesn’t say where. Are you okay?”
“Yeah we are—”
“When are you coming back? Is he being—”
“Emily. I’m fine. We’re fine.”
“You are?” I heard her muffled words to Logan, the arguing, and then I heard Crisis shouting something in the background that I thought was “I told you so.”
“Yeah. We’re good. Ream and I had some shit to work out … as you know. Tell Logan it’s buried.” I heard her tell him and then his gruff response, “about fuckin’ time.”
“We just had dinner and we’ll be back tomorrow.”
“You just had dinner?”
“Well yeah.” I looked over my shoulder to make certain Ream was still inside and then whispered, “And, Eme, never told you this before but … he shaves. And it rocks.”
“What?” Then. “Oh my God.”
I laughed. “Listen, can you call Matt and let him know I’m okay.”
“Umm, yeah of course. But Kat …” I heard the hesitation as she cleared her throat. “Are you sure this is what you want? Whatever you decide, I’m there behind you a hundred percent. I’m just asking because you … well, you were really pissed at him.”
I was sure. I had no clue if this was right or wrong or if there was such a thing as right or wrong when it came to ... love?
“Babe.” Ream’s hand came down on my shoulders and I looked up at him. Did I love this man? Is that why everything had hurt so much because I loved him?
“Is that him?” Emily asked. “Logan wants to talk to him.”
Before I had the chance to say yes or no, Logan’s voice came on, “Give him the phone, Kat.”
I held the phone up to Ream. “Logan wants to talk to you and he sounds scary.”
The corner of Ream’s lips lifted before he took the phone then walked away. I watched as he listened to whatever Logan spewed, and I could only imagine that it wasn’t good. Although, Ream looked pretty relaxed about it. He said a few curt words and the only sentence he said was, “I’ll be there.” I was guessing they were talking about something to do with the band.
He didn’t say goodbye, merely slipped the phone in his back pocket and headed straight for me. I picked up my glass of red wine and wet my lips as I swallowed, because watching Ream stand under the moonlight wearing a snug black T-shirt and worn jeans ... I was letting him in and I probably loved him. No, not probably, I did. This wasn’t something new. I’d known that for a long time. I’d hurt so much because I did love him.
He reached me, leaned down putting his hands on the armrests caging me in. “Ready.”
“For what? More sex without the actual sex because someone didn’t bring condoms?”
He quirked a smile and shit, it was adorable. You’d think someone like Ream couldn’t ever be adorable, but when he did that cute smile where the corners of his mouth partially curve up with those sparkling eyes … well, it was super-hot and I was betting he knew it. I felt like I was handed a part of Ream that few ever experienced.
He took my glass then helped me up.
“Where are we going?”
“I have this thing.” He let my hand go as he tagged the wine bottle and his glass. “Addiction you could say.”
“Well, I know it’s not drugs.”
He chuckled and I was glad that we could laugh about it now. “Real estate.”
“Huh?”
I opened the screen door and stopped dead. Ream had not only done the dishes, he’d put out candles, and the coffee table had been shoved aside and instead a pile of pillows were laid out. In the center of them sat a board game.
I looked back at him then walked over. “Monopoly? You like Monopoly?”
He brought the wine and set it down on a side table. “No. I love Monopoly. You ever play?”
“Well, yeah, of course. But I’m not very good at it.”
“Just like you’re not very good at go-karting? And gaming?” Ream asked, brows rising.
Okay, maybe I wasn’t going to fool him this time. Matt, Emily, and I played a lot when we were in our teens. I was more of a “spend everything and buy anything you land on type” while Matt was cautious and saved his money for the big properties. Emily could go either way, a wild card. She also never won.
I sat on a pillow and Ream passed me my wine. “I’m going to kick your ass. And this time if I win the stakes are high.” I slowly smiled and he frowned immediately, suspicious. “I give you a blow job.” I did it for two reasons, I wanted to give him one and because I wanted to see how he’d react.
Ream studied me for several seconds before muttering, “Fuck.”
And maybe I had read too much into it. Ream had desire swirling in the depths of his eyes. Well, now he’d just have to decide what was more important, winning or a blow job. Either way, I won and he’d have to sit there thinking about me sucking on his cock for the next two hours.
Ream sunk to the pillows looking rather defeated, and I grabbed the dice and rolled. “Ready? I have a feeling this is going to be a long, long game.”
Ream scowled. I laughed to myself. Although, I was beginning to think that he wasn’t the only one who would be tortured for the next couple of hours.
***
I could see the conflict on his face. He didn’t like losing.
He tossed down his last dollar onto the center of the board, eyes on me. I squirmed a little because, really, being under the gaze of a guy like Ream sent a parade of emotions through me. It was like the clash of a tambourine, the thumping of the bass drums, and the gentle stroke
of a guitar all at the same time. My body didn’t know how to feel.
I glanced at his crotch then back up.
He wasn’t smiling. Not even a little bit. Was he that much of a sore loser? Kind of turned me off. Okay, not really, but I was disappointed. I thought he’d take it better.
“Kat.” His voice was rough.
“Ream.”
“Good game.”
“Did you lose on purpose?”
He hesitated. “Do you think I’d lose on purpose in order to get a blow job?”
I laughed. “All guys would.”
He remained quiet.
I continued, “But you …” I suspected Ream would do whatever it took to win his game, regardless of whether losing brought a desirable outcome for him. He was the most stubborn man I’d ever met. He surpassed Logan and that guy was a badger when he refused to give up on Emily. I also thought sex wasn’t as important to Ream as it was with most guys. “Never.”
Ream’s eyes widened as if surprised by my words. Maybe I had lumped Ream in a category of rock star bastard after what happened between us, but now … now I knew there was a hell of a lot more to him than any of us knew. And also a part I still didn’t know. I hoped that he’d open up to me now that I was opening up to him. With Ream, it was about tactical moves and if I pushed like he pushed me, I’d get nothing. Maybe it was nothing. No, he’d said numerous times his past was fucked up.
I got on my hands and knees and crawled toward him. He waited until I was about to put my hand on his button fly when he said, “The bet was a blow job.”
I sat back on my heels. “And that’s what I’m about to do.” So much for the sexiness and allure of crawling toward him. Damn, I thought I excelled at being tempting.
“But you never specified to whom.”
“What? Yes, I did. I said I’d give you a blow job if I won.” I recognized the playful expression on his face. It was the same before we raced, then again before we jumped off the cliff.
“Semantics …” He made a dive for me, sending me backwards, then grabbed my legs out from under me.
“Ream!” I screamed as he landed on top of me, hands pinning my wrists on the floor, spread eagle. “What are you doing?”
“A blow job.”
“But I want to give you one.” There was a nit biting at me wondering if he was avoiding me giving him one. But what guy didn’t want a woman to go down on him?
“Babe, I’ve been dreaming about tasting you again for fuckin’ two years, eight months, three weeks, and a day. I’m not waiting another minute. You have a problem with that?”
Shit. No. I was rarely speechless, but Ream talking about tasting me … well, I was on broil and so turned on that it zapped any argument about me winning and getting to decide who got the blow job. Arguing with Ream when he was on top, his cock pressed into my thigh, mouth inches from mine, and his unrelenting expression … yeah, I was shutting up.
“I see how I’m going to win arguments with you.”
Shit. I liked winning just as much as he did, but for this … I might just lose an argument.
It took seconds for him to pull off my jeans. Then his fingers hooked into the top of my pink lace thong and slowly dragged downward. The tips of his fingers followed the material all the way to my calves and then over my feet. My eyes never left his as he took in my body with a gaze that made me ache in places I never knew could ache.
“Beautiful.” He opened my legs and ran his finger from between my breasts to my pierced belly button then trailed down farther until I arched and moaned for him to reach the warmth of my center.
I put my hands in his hair, and the second I did I felt the change in him. I slowly released him.
He looked up at me, his eyes a mixture of desire and a fleck of torment. “No touching. Let me look after you.”
I nodded. I knew something lay beneath the surface with Ream and it wasn’t good. It scared me to think of why he got that glazed look sometimes.
“You’re fuckin’ mine now.” He lowered his head and his tongue touched my belly piercing then he nibbled and sucked.
I opened my legs wider and he teased lower. I gasped as wave of heat washed over me and then a trembling began in my legs. He held my thighs to steady them or to make certain they stayed as wide as he wanted them. I didn’t know or care which.
I shuddered as his tongue flicked lightly over me several times. Then he sucked and just the sound alone almost had me coming. I arched into him and relaxed, letting the feelings pour through me like the sweetness of heated syrup.
Suddenly, his fingers plunged inside me and I groaned in shock, every muscle tensing around him and giving into the assault to be replaced by pure pleasure.
The pressure inside me built and climbed until I didn’t think I could take any more. Ream refused to give, even the littlest bit, instead he took and finally I gave to him, screaming his name, every muscle tense, every molecule throbbing. I trembled and shuddered as wave after wave hit my body.
I lay panting and completely spent. But he wasn’t done as he teased my sensitive sex with light pressure on his mouth while his finger arched inside me.
“Ream?”
It was a weird feeling after I’d already come, but he continued to play and I felt the urgency building again. Oh God. He must have felt it, because his finger on my sex moved faster and then he pushed three fingers inside me and that was it.
It hit me hard and I screamed out as I came again, my body jerking and shuddering as wave after wave pounded into me even harder than the last. Holy fuck. I’d never … Jesus, I never had that before. I thought it was all talk, and I was always so sensitive after the first one that I didn’t think it was possible for me.
“Babe.” He moved up my body until his lips met mine, and I could taste me on him and it was good. No, it was hot and I wanted it to last forever.
He fell to the side, pulled a pillow over so he could prop his head up, then grabbed me and curled me into his arms so my back was up against his chest.
He kissed my forehead then reached for the remote control on the coffee table behind him and flicked on the TV. He surfed through channels until he found a movie then pulled me closer so we were spooned, the heat of his body surrounding me.
“What about you?” I wanted to give him pleasure, to make him groan.
His body tensed up as he said, “I had you. That’s all I need, baby.”
“But I want to.”
“No.”
It was a sharp tone and I got that he wasn’t allowing it and that bothered me—a lot. Because Ream surrounded me. He was part of me, and if I ever let go again, I’d fall and never find my way back up.
I woke to a ringing phone and it wasn’t mine. That and I’d yet to see mine since we arrived. I was beginning to wonder if he’d ditched it in the lake.
I was in bed, snuggled into his side, my arm lying across his waist and my head nested on his chest. His one arm was behind me, locking me up against him while his hand rested on top of mine, our fingers linked.
I don’t know why but there was something about interlocking fingers that was incredibly intimate. It was like chain link fused together, unable to be separated by anything. That was how it felt—fused together.
Ream’s phone kept ringing and I heard him groan. His hand left mine and I thought he was going to answer it, but instead he cupped my chin, leaned close, and kissed me. It was a gentle, lazy kiss that left me wanting more. But I didn’t get more as he reached over to the nightstand for his phone.
Without even looking at who was calling he said, “Better be fuckin’ good.”
He listened for a minute, stiffened, then swung his legs over the side of the bed. “Are you for fuckin’ real? No, you don’t get to know that,” he shouted. He paused for a second and his grip on the phone tightened. “I’d never cheat on her. Who the hell—” He stopped abruptly then threw the phone across the room and it smashed against the wall.
I crawled up behind h
im, placing my arms around his waist then lowering my head and kissing the side of his neck along the ink. I kept going when he didn’t make me stop like he usually did. I kissed farther down, loving the taste of his salty skin on the tip of my tongue. I caressed his inked shoulders then ran my hands down his arms while pressing my breasts against him.
The tension slowly eased out of his muscles as I explored his body from behind, taking my time. This was the first time he let me do this and I wanted to take care of him like he did me. These couple of nights, they were more than just Ream getting me back. It was me finding a part of myself that I’d lost. He’d seen that. He recognized that I was hiding from myself as much as I was from him and everyone else. I’d always thought I was stronger facing this disease without anyone knowing. But I was stronger with Ream. I’d be stronger still when I told Emily. Strength came from believing in yourself, not hiding from yourself.
Ream looped his arm around my neck and dragged me onto his lap where he proceeded to kiss me. It was the kind of kiss that made me proud to be his, to want him to take care of me. Not because I was weak or couldn’t do it myself, but because he cared about me.
“You’re not going to ask me?”
Yeah, I wanted to know who was on the phone. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from asking, but I trusted him. He needed that from me. “No.”
He nodded and stayed silent as I sat with my legs straddling him, his hand weaving through the strands of my hair. It was comforting and sweet and even though we had so much intensity between us, this moment was just the opposite and I reveled in being able to share it with him.
“When I’m with you, it feels like I’ve been given a second chance at living. I never thought I’d get that.” He lowered his head for a brief second, his fingers splayed over my back stroking with the slightest touch. “I can breathe easily with you. When we were apart …” His finger slid over my lower lip back and forth. “You ever feel like your body is silently screaming? Like you’re constantly missing something, but you can’t figure out what?” Yeah, all the time, but I’d never admit that to anyone. “For almost three fuckin’ years, I felt like that. I didn’t know at first, but then when I figured out it was you I was missing all the time, Jesus, the screaming, it stopped, Kat. And it became tranquil and beautiful.