by Nashoda Rose
He ignored the comment and poured me a shot. “Just one?”
I nodded. “Brett. What’s up?”
He looked up and then I knew. I didn’t have to turn around to see; it was the familiar shift in my body like a negative finding its positive. Ream’s hands settled on my hips and he pressed into my back then leaned in, his mouth kissing my collarbone.
Shivers, heat, dampness, yeah, it all peppered my body. “Beautiful,” he whispered and I sagged against him.
Brett put another shot down on the bar then looked at Ream. “Threaten me again and you won’t like what happens.” With that he walked away.
Whoa. What? I stiffened swiveling around on my stool. “What did you do?”
Ream didn’t even look chagrinned; he merely shrugged and said, “He’s been watching you for years. I just made it clear that it stops.”
“What? Are you for real? Ream, Brett and I are friends. He’s not interested, never has been.”
“You a guy?”
“What?”
“You a guy, Kat?”
“Well, no, of course not.”
“Then you don’t know. Only a guy knows when another guy is hot for his woman. And anytime I’m here, Brett’s watching you.”
“Yeah, because he’s like a brother. He’s looking out for me. Matt is in his office most of the night so Brett steps up to the plate.”
“A brother doesn’t look his sister up and down while she dances.”
“Oh. My. God. He so doesn’t do that.”
He kept his voice low but Brett was at the other end of the bar so he probably couldn’t hear us. I did notice him glance our way. “Babe, he does. He was watching you the night you were dancing with that schmuck.”
“Ream, seriously, that was almost three years ago.”
“Yeah, and he’s still doing it. He was watching you the night we danced. That isn’t a guy who thinks of a chick as his sister.”
“Well, Molly watches you and you don’t see me threatening her.” Because she was harmless. Ream was hot, I got that.
His brows rose as if my comment was ridiculous in comparison. Maybe it was because Molly was shy and looked at Ream while hiding under a veil of hair, but still, I was pissed that he thought it was funny.
I crossed my arms and cocked my hip. “What did you say to him?”
Ream’s hands splayed my waist. “That if he looks at you like that again, he’ll see my fist.”
I snorted. “Jesus, Ream.” But I shouldn’t be surprised. That is exactly the response I should’ve expected.
“Kat, why would he always be watching you? He’s never asked you out, but whenever I’m here I see his eyes on you.”
“It’s meaningless, just like Molly looking at you.”
Ream’s hands tightened on my waist. “I don’t fuckin’ like it. Men watching chicks lead to shit and I’m not taking the chance.”
“What? God, Ream. This is going overboard. Brett’s been around since Avalanche opened. He’s Matt’s friend. God, you know him. What’s next? You going to say I can’t be friends with Crisis and Kite? That we can’t live with them anymore because you saw Kite looking at me?”
“No.” Ream’s face hardened and he was really agitated. “That’s different. Brett has never been my friend and he’s never hung out with us, has he?”
“Well, no but—”
“The guy has more money than he knows what to do with. Can have any chick he wants and yet he works here looking at my fuckin’ girl. It stops.” Ream cupped my chin and kissed me, right there in front of Brett. It was a deep, claiming kiss that made my knees weak and my pissed off attitude seeped into the unknown land of forgetting my name after that kiss.
But this was too far. Ream was going to alienate our friends if he continued down this road. I pushed on his chest. “No.” He looked a little startled, and when I put my hand up, he went to move in again, his brows lowered dangerously over his eyes. “You need to apologize to him. You stepped over the line this time, Ream.”
His back stiffened at the word apologize. “Not happening.”
I put my hands on my hips. “God, you’re such an ass.”
“Yeah, but I’m yours.”
“No. Not if you’re going to act like this.”
His eyes narrowed. “You threatening me, Kat?”
“Not a threat. A promise.” I would not be putting up with him threatening my friends. I got that he had issues, I accepted that, but there was a line and he just broke it.
“This is fuckin’ bullshit,” Ream shouted.
“Bullshit? Ream, this is crazy. Can’t you see that?”
“Maybe it is, but I’m not apologizing for it. Bad shit happens when guys watch a girl.”
“Does this have something to do with your past? Because if it does maybe it’s time you told me.”
He stared at me for several seconds, stiff and unyielding then said, “Let it go, Kat.”
“Are you kidding me? Give me something here, Ream. I’m trying to give you time, but acting like this for no reason won’t cut it.”
“I have my reasons.”
“Then tell me.”
“I can’t.” He went to take my hand and I pulled back. “This is who I am, I told you that.”
“Yeah, and I accepted it, but I let you in. I gave you all of me and you’re still holding back from me. Why? I need to understand.”
“Just back off.”
I huffed and crossed my arms. “Wow, I really don’t like you right now.” It was more to myself than him, but he heard me and flinched.
I felt someone’s hand on my arm and turned. It was Emily and she looked worried. I saw the guys sitting at the table and watching us.
“Kat, maybe we should go. I’ll drive us back to the farm. I’ve only had one beer.” Emily squeezed my hand and then tugged, whispering, “Let’s go before you both say something you’ll regret.”
Shit. Maybe she was right. I needed to cool off and so did Ream. I nodded then followed after her.
“Kat.” Ream’s voice cut into me. It was pissed off and quiet like I’d imagine the silence after the pin on a grenade is pulled. But I didn’t turn around because Ream had to get that this went over the line. Then his voice changed and it was haggard. “If I tell you I might lose you.”
I stopped, but I didn’t turn around. “You’ll lose me if you don’t.”
We both needed to settle down before we had a collision. Ream would get what I was saying. We both were just so stubborn that stepping away from our fights was sometimes the best course of action.
“Drunk make-up sex is amazing,” Emily whispered in my ear. Yeah, I hoped I’d get that tonight. We both just needed to cool off. “And make him beg a little.”
Hmm, my guy begging. I might never do it, but he sure could. That sounded like great make-up sex. And then maybe I could persuade him to give me a part of what he was hiding.
But I didn’t get the begging or amazing make-up sex because Ream didn’t come home. I lay awake most of the night, and when I couldn’t resist anymore, I texted him. After a half hour passed and it was now three in the morning, I called and it went straight to voice mail. I knew he was pissed off, and Ream liked to think things through, so I thought maybe he’d taken off to that cottage to think it over. Where else would he go?
He probably crashed at Matt’s condo. I was overthinking. Besides, I had walked away from him last night.
I texted again then got out of bed and went into the sunroom and painted until I finally saw the sun rise. My phone never rang, dinged, or vibrated.
I went into the kitchen and made coffee.
By the time I got to my third coffee, my heart was racing and my hands trembled so bad that I had to keep them steady by interlocking them around my mug.
Fear and uneasiness started to sink into me. It was a combination of mistrust of Ream not being able to cope with what I needed from him and the memory of the morning the police officer knocked on our door. The two were co
lliding. One was the dread that something had happened to Ream and I was worried about him, and the other was scared he’d taken off and I was furious with him.
I was ten years old when the police officer told us they were gone. That my father had been drunk and killed them both instantly. The begging, the crying, the praying … I’d done it all. None of it worked. I wouldn’t get a second chance at telling them I loved them. They were just gone one day. I’d cried for so many days that I couldn’t even remember what it was like not to cry. And then when I finally stopped, I knew I’d never do it again because all it did was make me feel worse and never changed the outcome.
And now Ream hadn’t come home. We’d been out drinking just like my parents had. Was he dead or dying somewhere? Or had he left me? Jesus, I was being stupid. We had a fight and he was probably passed out in Matt’s office or condo. I picked up my phone again to call him when a text from Ream’s phone came through.
Kat, it’s Molly. I saw his phone and that you called and texted numerous times. Ream’s here with me. I’m so sorry, Kat.
The sick feeling that came over me was crushing, like I’d been teased with a lifeline when the text came through that Ream was okay and then the lifeline was ripped from my hands and I was drowning. I stared at my phone reading the words over and over again, wondering if I had misinterpreted them. Texts were misinterpreted all the time.
He was with Molly? With Molly? No, I was overthinking it. It couldn’t be true. Don’t let it be true.
I ran upstairs and without knocking, barged in Crisis’s room. “What happened to Ream last night?”
Crisis groaned. He had his arms above his head gripping the headboard and his face was contorted as if in pain and then I saw the blankets move. “Ahh, sugar, I was so close.” The sheet flung back and a girl popped her head up.
I didn’t apologize. I didn’t give a shit that he was getting sucked off and I’d ruined it. All I wanted to know was why Molly was texting me that Ream was with her. “Why didn’t he come home with you? Did he leave with Molly? Why is Molly saying Ream’s with her?”
Crisis threw the covers back and I caught full view of the naked woman lying on top of him. He smacked her butt. “Get out of here.” He reached for his jeans on the floor and pulled out a wad of bills. “Call a cab.” The girl had no shame and crawled out of bed, grabbed her clothes, and disappeared into the washroom.
I turned away as Crisis threw his legs over the side of the bed, not caring that he was naked and I was standing a few feet away. I heard the rustling of material and him jumping a couple of times as he pulled on his jeans. A drawer opened and shut then he was next to me.
“Okay, let’s go.”
I turned and banged right into him, not expecting him to be right there. “Where?”
“To get him.”
“We can’t just go get him.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know where Molly lives.” And I was terrified to go. My head was reeling as I imagined the worst case scenario.
“Matt does.” Yeah, he had to have it for employment records. “Kat, I know what you’re thinking. But it would never happen. That guy is crazy about you. He probably just crashed there.”
“Why would she say she’s sorry?”
He shrugged. “You’re a chick. Molly’s shy, insecure. She probably feels bad you guys fought or something. I’m going to kick his ass for fucking up my morning BJ though.”
“Just like that? We go there?”
Crisis shrugged. “Listen, sugar. Why wait around worrying? By the looks of you, you did that all night.” He leaned over and snagged his keys from the dresser. “He needs a ride back here anyway. Fucker is probably feeling like his ass is on fire and his throat is like sandpaper after the shit he drank last night.”
I started to breathe a little easier. Crisis was right. Molly took him back to her place because he was drunk and she was saying sorry because she saw Ream’s phone and how worried I was. The idea of Ream ever cheating on me was ridiculous.
But I ate my words the moment I saw Molly when she answered the door. It was all over her face. The guilt, the way she avoided looking at me, how she shifted uncomfortably. Crisis must have seen it too because he shoved the palm of his hand into the door and forced his way in.
“Stay here.”
But I didn’t. I couldn’t and I followed him as he took the stairs two at a time then started opening doors. It was the third door he flung open that he stopped.
I came up behind him and he blocked me with his broad shoulders then slammed the door shut again. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back. “Kat, you need to wait downstairs. Better yet, wait for us in the car.”
“Crisis, no. What did you see? Is he okay?” Panic blanketed me as I started running scenarios through my head. Molly was here, so it wasn’t like he was fucking her or anything. But had he? Had she just crawled out of bed with him? She looked guilty and Crisis wouldn’t let me in the room.
“I’ll get his shit together and we’ll meet you at the car.” Crisis wasn’t often very forceful, but his tone was sharp and stern and he wasn’t taking no for an answer.
“No. Fuck no.” I pushed at his hands on my waist and tried to get him to let me go. “I need to see. Let me see.”
“No, Kat. I can’t let you do that, for both your sakes.”
What the hell did that mean? Oh God. That wasn’t good. Both our sakes? Ream and me? He called me Kat, not sugar. He was being insistent. It was bad. Whatever was behind the door was bad and I couldn’t let that go.
I struggled to get away. “Damn it let me go.”
He picked me up off my feet and started carrying me away from the door. Molly was at the top of the stairs, her eyes wide and her fist held to her mouth as she watched.
“Put me down.” I kicked with both legs and heard him grunt. My nerves shot off like rockets and the pins and needles played dominos on my legs. I knew within minutes if I didn’t slow down and calm down, they’d go numb.
But I had to know. If I didn’t see for myself, I’d always wonder why Crisis wouldn’t let me in that door. Somewhere inside me I already knew what I’d see. The emotional upheaval was ripping at my insides with a rusted jagged knife. Because I knew. I knew Ream was in bed with another woman. I felt it. Crisis wouldn’t be so adamant about me leaving unless it was something so devastating.
And I had to know for sure. I had to see with my own eyes. Because I couldn’t believe that Ream would ever do that to me.
He wouldn’t do that.
He can’t destroy us.
Oh God, Ream.
Don’t break us.
I jammed my elbow back into Crisis’s face, and he cursed as his arm released me. I stumbled back toward the room, my hand on the banister for support. He yelled for me to stop as he came running after me.
I threw open the door.
It was like I was watching a scene in slow motion and I was in it. The long drawn in breath that caught on the gagging fish hook in my throat. A hook that had pierced through my heart and was slowly being dragged from my body.
I was choking.
Unable to breathe.
Unable to move.
The agony ripping me apart, and all I could do was stand there and look at him.
Ream didn’t just break us.
Ream executed us.
***
My half sob, half scream was like a tortured cat in the dead of night.
Ream lay on his stomach, his face turned away from me. On his right arm I saw the butterfly tattoo and maybe if I hadn’t, I would’ve tried to find a way to believe it was some other man lying naked with a woman beside him.
But it was Ream, and the girl was curled into him, her hand in his hair as she leaned on her elbow watching me. I stared frozen, unable to move, as I met her brilliant green eyes that were filled with a cocky, knowing gleam.
The stark white sheets were tossed aside, and it was from the guy with the lean, hard body l
ying on Ream’s other side. I choked on my gasp as I saw the young guy’s hand on Ream’s ass, gently stroking. He caught my eye and then squeezed and ran his finger down the crack.
No. Oh God, no.
The guy chuckled and the lanky blonde girl shifted, snuggling into him further, her head lowering. It was obvious she was kissing him, although Ream never moved even when the guy began to crawl on top of Ream.
I put my hand over my mouth and staggered backwards, my spine hitting the railing, eyes wide and filled with horror. I was shaking so bad I couldn’t stand anymore and collapsed. Crisis grabbed me before I fell and gently lowered me to the floor where he held me in his arms.
“No.” I repeated the words over and over in my head like a broken record. My stomach sloshed and careened, and I was unable to hold down the coffee I had and leaned over, vomiting on the rug. “Why?” I felt the wetness of tears on my face. They were real and I couldn’t stop them from falling as the image of what was behind the door hit me over and over again.
“Jesus.” Crisis held my hair away from my face and stroked my back. “Let’s get you out of here.”
My legs were numb and the devastation was so overpowering that I couldn’t move. I wanted to tear into the room and rip him apart. I wanted to yell and scream and fight him with everything I had. But none of that could happen with my nerves reacting and sparking off. I was falling apart. I felt the pieces of myself crumbling to the floor and like dust, disintegrating.
Tears trailed down my cheeks and I sobbed so hard that I was having trouble taking in air. I’d never get the image out of my head. I wouldn’t survive this. I’d given him all of me, every single piece, and I had nothing left.
There was no key. We’d been locked together and now … now I had no way of getting myself back after this.
“Please, Kat. You need to breathe here. Deep breaths okay. I’m sure this is not what it looks like.”
His words caused me to snap. “He was naked in bed with a guy touching his ass and a woman lying next to him. Not what it looks like?” I screamed and couldn’t stop. “How else do you want me to take that, Crisis? Tell me.” I slammed my fists into his chest. “Tell me, goddamn it. I need to know. ’Cause if you don’t tell me, I’m going to drown here.” I started punching and punching until he wrapped me up in his arms and I buckled like a limp doll into his shirt.