It was maddening, the same thoughts chasing each other around and around in his brain. He’d been over the same old ground so many times now, and he always ended up in the same place. He had no real idea what the best thing was to do. He was a pawn in someone else’s game. All he could do was wait.
Except for today. Today he could go get Ravin. The thought of her cheered him greatly. He missed her so badly. He couldn’t wait to see her again, even if they wouldn’t have long. He wondered if there would ever come a day when they could have normal times together again. What would it be like to be able to see her every day?
The guards at the gate waved him through with hardly a look, just as Cowley had predicted. Soon he jogged up to the edge of Shantytown. He passed quickly through the welter of ramshackle huts and piles of garbage until he got to Argid’s home. No one answered when he banged on the door, and when he looked inside the place was empty. Trying to fight down the sudden clench of fear in his gut, Fen looked around. She’d gone somewhere to help someone who was sick or injured was all, he told himself. Argid was with her. He didn’t need to worry.
It did no good at all. All his attempts at staying calm shuddered like a house of sticks before a sudden gale.
He saw an old man tottering down one of the lanes that wound through the debris and ran after him. The man spun as he came up, a makeshift knife in one hand, suspicion on his face.
“I ain’t got nothing worth stealing,” the old man said. He waved the knife. “I’ll cut you.”
Fen held up his hands. “I only want information.”
“What?”
“There’s a young woman staying here with Argid.”
To his surprise, a smile lit up the man’s face. “You’re talking about our angel,’ he said. “The one what the gods sent to help us.”
“Yes,” Fen said, feeling mightily relieved. “Do you know where she is?”
“Down at the south edge, I reckon. There was an outbreak of the blue shakes there two days ago. She’s been down there a lot, giving what help she can.”
“The blue shakes?” Fen said, his relief turning quickly to alarm. The blue shakes was a terrible disease. Those who got it suffered uncontrollable tremors, and their skin took on a bluish hue. Most who got it died.
“Don’t fret!” the old man called after him as he ran off. “The gods love her. She’ll be safe!”
As he ran, Fen couldn’t decide if he was proud of her or angry at her. It was good that she cared enough to risk herself to help others, but foolish to risk herself like that. He made it to the south edge of the makeshift village a little while later. It wasn’t hard to find the area where the outbreak had happened. The moans of the afflicted were loud in the still air, and he had only to follow them.
He found Ravin kneeling beside a young woman lying on the ground out in the open. The young woman was shaking violently, and the bluish tinge to her skin was obvious even from a distance.
“There you are,” Fen said. “I was worried. What are you doing here?”
Ravin glanced up at him briefly before turning her attention back to the young woman. “I’m doing what I can,” she said. “It’s not much, but it’s all I can do.”
“I’ve come to take you back into the city,” Fen said, taking her arm and trying to pull her to her feet. “We need to go.”
“Not yet,” she said, yanking her arm away from his grasp. She looked around. “Where is Argid with that water? This woman is burning up.”
“He’s supposed to stay close and guard you,” Fen said. He knew he sounded peevish, but he couldn’t help it. He’d expected to find Ravin excited to see him and ready to flee this place, not insisting on staying longer.
“I need that water more than I need guarding,” she said. “This poor woman is burning up.”
Argid came lumbering up then, an old, dented pail of water in his huge hands. He set it down beside Ravin, who quickly dunked a cloth into it and applied it to the woman’s forehead.
“There’s nothing you can do for her,” Fen said, as the woman’s back arched with a new spasm, and her fingers dug into the ground.
Ravin took the woman’s hands in hers and squeezed them tightly. Without turning her head, she snapped at him, “Don’t you think I know that?” In a low, soothing voice, she said to the woman, “Easy there. Easy.”
“You could get sick yourself,” Fen said. He knew he should shut up, but he couldn’t seem to help himself.
“Again, I already know that,’ she replied. “If you’re going to stand there, why don’t you make yourself useful? Wring out that cloth and bathe her face. It seems to help ease her some.”
Reluctantly, Fen crouched and did as he was told. Up close the odor of the illness was undeniable, a smell of rotting meat that made his stomach rebel.
“I’m here,” Ravin said to the woman softly. “I’ve got you. I’m here.” She kept repeating herself, the words becoming almost a chant.
They stayed there for some time, Ravin gripping the woman’s hands and speaking softly to her, Fen bathing her face with water, and Argid standing a short distance away, looking down at them, his broad face impassive. A couple of times Fen tried to speak to Ravin, but each time she shut him down quickly, refusing to listen at all. Eventually, Fen realized he had no choice except to kneel there and let what would happen play out.
The young woman let out an anguished groan, her back arched, and her heels drummed against the hard ground. Then she sort of sighed, and her life left her all at once. Her head rolled to the side.
Gently, Ravin disengaged her hands from the woman’s death grip. She straightened her limbs and closed her staring eyes. For a moment she stayed there, her head bowed, a whispered prayer coming from her lips.
When she looked up at Fen, her eyes were wet with tears.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“So am I.” She stood up suddenly, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “Seven.”
Fen stood up too. “What?”
“Seven dead of the blue shakes since last night.”
“I…that’s terrible.”
“Out here it’s called just another day,” she said, her voice harsh. She turned to Argid. “You’ll carry her out with the others?” she asked. He nodded silently. She looked at Fen. “That’s all of them. We can go now.”
She walked over to Argid. “Thank you,” she said, holding up her arms. Fen felt a new sense of alarm as the huge brute of a man bent and folded her in arms that could have snapped her in two without difficulty. “I’ll be back,” she told him once he let her go. “I won’t forget.”
Argid stood motionless, watching as Fen and Ravin walked away.
“I’m sorry,” Fen said again, after some time had passed, and she hadn’t so much as looked at him.
“For who? For the woman who died? Or for all the others who died and will die here?”
Fen sighed. “I’m sorry that I tried to make you leave. I was just…I was worried about you. It scares me when—”
She stopped suddenly and turned on him. “I worry about you too, you know. All the time. But I know you have to do it, and so I don’t try and stop you. Couldn’t you do the same for me?”
“But it’s different,” Fen protested. “You and I both know there’s nothing you could have done for that woman. When people get the blue shakes they either live or die. No nursing can change that.”
“Nothing I could do?” she said in a dangerous voice, her eyes flashing. “I stayed with that woman during her final moments. I stayed with all of them. Are you really trying to tell me that was nothing?” Her fists were clenched by her sides as she bit off each word.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” He tried to touch her, but she pulled away from him, her posture rigid.
“Then how did you mean it? Is killing the only way to help people? Is that what you’re saying?”
“I didn’t say that. Not at all.” He tried to find some words to make it all better. “I think what you did
was noble.”
“I didn’t do it to be noble. I did it because it’s the right thing to do, at least if you’re a human being with a shred of decency in you. What sort of person would I be if I simply turned away and let them die without at least trying to comfort them?”
“You’re right,” Fen said, what she was trying to say finally sinking in for him. “It was the right thing to do, and I’m an idiot for not realizing it right away. And you deserve more. I should be supporting you instead of telling you what you can and can’t do.”
He noticed then that her shoulders were trembling, and he felt a sudden stab of panic that she was getting sick too. But then the tears began to stream down her face, and he saw how hard she was working to keep herself under control.
“I’m sorry, Ravin.” This time she didn’t pull away but let him hold her. After a moment she wrapped her arms around him and clung to him while she sobbed. He wisely kept his mouth shut and simply let her cry.
When she was done, she wiped her eyes on her sleeve and started walking again. “We have to do something to help these people,” she said. “No one should have to live like this.”
“We will,” Fen said. “I promise.” But it was a promise he didn’t know if he could keep. He had too many people to help and no idea how he was going to help them.
Chapter 26
“Is she still asleep?” Cowley asked as Fen came down the stairs to the ground floor of the ruined temple. The squad had cleared out of the second floor when Fen brought Ravin back a few bells earlier, giving the two of them some privacy. Ravin had fallen asleep almost instantly—she’d told Fen she hadn’t slept in two nights while she tended to the sick people—and Fen went back up periodically to check on her.
“She is,” Fen said.
“Poor girl,” Lukas said sympathetically. “It must have been terrible for her living out there like that. I imagine she was terrified the whole time.”
“Yeah,” Fen said. He hadn’t told any of them what had really happened out there. He didn’t feel like answering their questions.
“At least you were finally able to rescue her from that place,” Gage said.
“I didn’t rescue her, okay?” Fen snapped. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Sorry,” Gage mumbled. “I didn’t mean to…whatever I did.”
“I know,” Fen said. “I’m sorry too.” He slumped down on the floor and put his head on his knees.
“Did you tell her we’re leaving soon?” Cowley asked.
“I haven’t had a chance,” Fen said. “I wanted her to get some rest first.”
“Maybe we’ll still have a couple of days,” Cowley said. “Maybe it will take more time to get the ships ready.”
Fen didn’t answer. He didn’t believe that, and he knew Cowley didn’t really either. His friend was only trying to help him feel better. Gage had brought back a report that the ships had been launched and supplies and weapons were being loaded.
“What’s he doing here?” Noah exclaimed. He was stationed by the front door, looking out through a crack in the wall, keeping an eye on the street.
“Who?” Lukas asked. He and several other members of the squad crowded around to see what Noah was talking about.
“It’s that pig, Ely,” Noah said, drawing the long knife out of his belt. His face was grim. “He’s going to be sorry he came here.”
Cowley shoved him aside. “Lowellin probably sent him. Why don’t we hear what he has to say before you gut him?”
Noah’s lips peeled back in an ugly smile. “So long as I get to gut him after.”
Cowley unbarred the door and swung it open as Ely got up close. The pot-bellied soldier jerked back, his hand going to his sword. Then he saw who it was, and he nodded.
“So, you are here,” he said. His eyes scanned the building. “Nice rathole you found.”
Before Cowley could stop him, Noah had squirmed by him. He lunged at Ely and shoved the blade up under his chin. Ely flinched, but didn’t fight back.
“Call off your mad dog if you want to hear my message,” he said, the tremor in his voice giving away his nerves. “If he kills me, you won’t make it on the ship. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
Fen pushed past Cowley, grabbed Noah’s shoulder and pulled him back. When Noah resisted, he snapped, “Stand down, soldier! Now.”
Grumbling, Noah lowered his knife. But he didn’t tuck it away, and he kept his eyes fixed on Ely.
“You should keep that one on a leash,” Ely said, rubbing his throat.
“Don’t push it, Ely,” Fen said. “I want to cut you down as badly as he does.”
“Still sore about the whole trial thing?” Ely said innocently. “You know they were going to find you guilty either way, don’t you? They needed a witness to keep things looking proper. Plus, it seems like you took no harm from it.”
“Get on with it,” Fen said, crossing his arms. “Say what you came to say and get out of here.”
Ely splayed his pudgy hands. “I’ve come to fetch you. It’s time.”
“For what?” Noah asked suspiciously.
“For your dance with the king, what else?” Ely snapped. “To take you to the docks. Gods, you’re dumb.”
In a flash, Noah was at his throat again. “Let me cut his throat, Fen. Please?”
Ely’s eyes grew wide as the blade pressed into his fleshy neck. “You need me,” he said. “Without me you’ll never get on a ship.”
“It’s not even dark yet,” Fen said. The sun had set, but true darkness was still some time away. “Wouldn’t we have a better chance of getting onto a ship unseen if it was late?”
“I’m not taking you to a ship.”
“Then where the hell are you taking us?” Noah snarled, pressing harder with the knife.
“Back up, Noah,” Fen ordered. “I won’t tell you again.”
Grumbling, Noah let Ely go.
“I’m taking you to the slave pen,” Ely said, his eyes fixed on Noah.
“I’m not going into any slave pen,” Noah said.
“Then you won’t get on board a ship.” Ely tried to sound unconcerned, but there was sweat on his brow.
“Why?” Fen asked him. “Why do we have to go into the slave pens?”
“Because that’s how you’re getting across the sea. You’ll be disguised as slaves.”
“We’re going as slaves?” Cowley asked.
“You got any other ideas?” Ely responded. “What? Did you think you’d go disguised as soldiers? Or maybe you thought you could go disguised as Ichthalids? I’m sure they wouldn’t notice a thing.”
“I was thinking we’d be crew,” Cowley said.
“Know anything about sailing a ship?” Ely chuckled. “I thought not. Plus, all the sailors are Ankharans. You ain’t got the complexion to pass as one of them. You can’t go as soldiers, on account of everyone thinks you were all tortured to death. There might be some questions were you to pop up again out of nowhere. Slaves is all that’s left.”
“He’s right,” Fen said. “It’s our only real option.”
“Finally, one of you said something that wasn’t brainless. Let’s go already. I want to get this over with and get back to my fancy new room in the palace. Being a captain has its benefits.” Ely had recovered some of his swagger, and his dark smile returned.
“Captain now, is it?” Noah said, jabbing him with the knife. “Is that what you got for betraying your people?”
“Who’s betraying anyone? The old king is dead. I swore fealty to the new king. What else was I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know, maybe not torture your fellow soldiers,” Lukas spat suddenly. He’d come out, unnoticed, while they were talking. He looked like he was about to spring on Ely. “How about trying that one?”
“Easy,” Cowley said, putting out his arm to hold Lukas off. “Let’s get through this. You can kill him later.”
“No, he can’t,” Noah said. “I’m killing him.”
“That
’s it. I’m done being threatened. If you want to follow me and get on a ship, then do. Or don’t. I don’t care.” Ely started to turn away.
A voice came from behind them. “Ship? You’re leaving now? Why are you talking to him?” It was Ravin, standing in the doorway.
Ely saw her and turned back around. “I wondered where you’d got off to,” he said. “We spent time looking for you.” He gave her a leer. “It’s good to see you back. I’m hoping we get to spend some time together real soon.”
“Shut your mouth,” Noah rasped. “You don’t talk to her. You don’t even look at her.” He brandished his knife at Ely.
Fen went to the doorway and pulled Ravin back inside. “It’s a long story, but we’re kind of allies with Lowellin now. He’s sneaking us onto one of the ships, so we can get across the sea.” He winced as he said the words, imagining how they would sound to her.
“What? You’re working with Lowellin? After everything he did?”
“I know. It sounds crazy to me too.”
“You can’t seriously trust him.”
“No. I don’t. But I think this is our only chance. I tried, but I can’t defeat Lowellin. I can’t defeat even one of the Ichthalids. And Lowellin has his reasons to hate them too. I think he means what he says…at least for now.”
“And you’re leaving now? Were you planning on telling me before you go?”
“I was. I didn’t expect Ely to show up so soon.”
“Oh, god, Fen,” she said, putting her arms around him. “I was hoping to have a little time together.”
“Me too. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“I don’t want to go either.” He had a terrible feeling about all this. Over the past few bells he’d wrestled with a growing feeling that he was leading the whole squad into a trap, but he couldn’t see any way out of it. “But I have to. If there’s any chance at all…”
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