by Amy Sumida
“Thank you,” I took a deep breath. “So how about having a drink with your old friend?”
“Love to,” he grinned and looked over at the couple. “Hey Samantha, who's this?”
“This is Kurt,” she waved at her man. “Kurt, this is Ull.”
I could tell she was pleased Ull had remembered her name and inwardly I praised Ull for being the gentleman he was. They really didn't make 'em like that anymore. He shook Kurt's hand as he took the seat next to mine. Poor Jess returned just then and we had to send her back down for Ull's drink but I think Ull's appreciative smile made it all worthwhile to the newly liberated wolf.
“I'll be right back with that,” she purred and Ull grinned wider.
“I really like your club, V,” he stared after the departing waitress.
“Easy, Tiger,” I pushed at his arm and it was at that exact moment that UnnúlfR decided to join us.
Kurt had his arm around Sam, his eyes filled with adoration as he stared at her. Sam was staring back with sparkling confidence, her hand on his leg. I was so happy about Ull's presence, I didn't even notice Trevor's younger brother until he was right up on us, practically snarling.
“Rouva,” he gritted out the greeting.
“UnnúlfR,” I nodded. “How are you?”
“Well, thank you,” his tense stance made a mockery of his words. “Samantha, can I talk to you for a minute?”
Sam looked at me with wide eyes and I tried to subtly reassure her with a tightening of my own and a slight nod. She firmed her lips and looked over at her date. Kurt was eying the newcomer carefully, while feigning a nonchalance I wanted to applaud. It was obvious there was something going on between Sam and UnnúlfR but Kurt decided to play it cool. Smart man.
“I'm sorry, honey,” Sam imitated Jess' earlier purr to a T. “This is probably just business. I'll be right back.”
“No problem,” he smiled and settled further back into his chair.
I could practically hear UnnúlfR's teeth grinding. He gestured stiffly to a more private nook behind a tree. Sam swung her hair over her shoulder and preceded him to the spot. Once they were there, I wasn't able to pick up their conversation but judging from Ull's expression, he could hear just fine with his super god senses.
“What?” I leaned over and whispered to him, giving the impression we were together, so Kurt wouldn't feel like we were talking about Sam.
“He's pissed,” Ull smiled at me, working with my ruse. We'd shared a light flirtation from the day we'd met but it had never been serious and I was certain it never would. Ull just loved women. All women, and he made no bones about it. Then his face went hard and he glanced back at the now, openly arguing couple. “You better get over there, Rouva.” He gave me a little push for good measure.
“Okay, okay,” I smiled at Kurt. “He's probably trying to get her to work extra shifts again. I better go regulate.”
Kurt nodded politely but I could tell he wasn't buying it. I hurried over to the escalating argument.
UnnúlfR raised a hand back and up, “Whoa,” I held out a hand and stepped between them smoothly. “I know you weren't just about to hit her, right?” I glared at him till he backed down.
“No, I wouldn't,” he swallowed hard and looked away. “She's acting like a human whore,” he gestured angrily at her as he turned a fierce look on me.
“Excuse me?” I pointed a finger into his face. “You wanna re-word that statement?”
“She's Froekn,” he growled. “She belongs with another Froekn.”
“You sound like a white supremacist,” I looked him up and down with distaste. “Do you forget that your Rouva is human?”
“No, I don't forget,” he lowered his face to mine. “I never forget.”
“What you should never forget, is that this human kicked your ass,” I got up in his face as much as was possible with our height difference. At least I was wearing heels. “And I don't mind doing it again. I passed Fenrir's test and your Prince has no problem with me being human either.”
“My Prince,” he spat the word, “is allowing you to ridicule my culture by flagrantly abusing the First-Born. Drinking and dancing with other men right in front of him. You're a disgrace to the title of Rouva, a humiliation to the Froekn, and you make a mockery of the mate bond. And you have the nerve to wonder why I have a problem with you?”
I felt my jaw fall open and UnnúlfR's face went smug when it became clear that his verbal barbs had hit their mark. I shook my head, completely baffled and at a loss for words. Was he right? Was I humiliating Trevor by doing what most women did after a break-up? All I did was have a few drinks, dance a bit. Where was the harm?
I looked off to the lower level, where I could see Trevor talking to a bartender. He looked up immediately, as if I'd called his name out loud, and my heart clenched at the misery I saw in his face. It didn't matter how harmless my intentions had been. I had abused him. I should never have brought my post break-up blues here, where Trevor was trying to build a new life for the Froekn... for me.
I was being cruel in my total disregard for his feelings. How would I feel if our places were reversed? If I had to put on a brave face to my family as the man I was married to paraded other women before me? One of the worst things about the whole mess, was admitting that UnnúlfR was right. Boy did that leave a sour taste in my mouth.
Trevor's expression changed as the full weight of what I'd done hit me. I don't know if he could feel it through our link or if he was just reading my face as well as I read his but he suddenly looked over at UnnúlfR and frowned. Then he was at a dead run across the club, taking the stairs two at a time in his rush to reach me. Before I knew it, he was there, gripping my upper arms and peering into my face.
UnnúlfR backed away, finally realizing that winning an argument doesn't always get you what you want.
“What is it?” Trevor followed my gaze to UnnúlfR. “What did you say to her?” He roared at his brother. “What have you done?”
“The truth!” UnnúlfR yelled back. “I told her what we've all been thinking. What no one else had the balls to say.”
“Curse you, UnnúlfR,” Trevor let go of me to face off with his brother. “This isn't your concern. She's my mate, not yours!”
“Is she?” UnnúlfR sneered. “She's sitting there with the Thunderer's son, not you, and she's teaching my woman to behave like a whore too.”
Before either I or Sam could protest his harsh assessment, Trevor hit him. One minute UnnúlfR was standing, the next he was sliding down a wall with blood dripping from his mouth. He shook his head a little as his eyes began to glow, and then pushed himself to his feet to face off with Trevor.
“Enough!” I snarled, my wolf bitch raging to the surface and exploding from my throat on a wave of echoing sound. The fighting wolves cringed, whimpering a little as they looked at me with sudden respect. I blinked, having no idea what had just happened or where that powerful voice had come from. I took a calming breath and felt my wolf simmer down enough so I could think straight. “You deserved that. I will not tolerate disrespect to me or to any other Froekn. I am your Rouva. I won the title by claw and by blood, so you would do well to remember that,” I growled to UnnúlfR and then held up a hand to stop him from saying anything. “But you also have some valid points.”
I turned to Trevor and reached a hand out to his face. He went instantly into happy puppy mode and smiled brightly as he held a hand over mine. I pulled his face down and kissed him gently on the lips. I felt his wolf right beneath the surface, nuzzling back through Trevor's mouth. It was an odd sensation but one I could get used to, as my wolf returned the gesture with surprised joy. I pulled away, surprised myself, when I realized I had tears in my eyes.
“I've been cruel,” I whispered. “I may not know if I can be with you but you don't deserve to have your face rubbed in it. I'm sorry, honey-eyes.”
“You have nothing to apologize for,” his hand was in my hair and his eyes were intensely ear
nest. “I built Moonshine for you. If what you need to get over Thor, is a few drinks and some dancing, I'm okay with that. Do whatever you need to do. I'd rather have you do it here, where I know you'll be safe. The Froekn can't judge you, this situation is new to all of us. I, at least, have the certainty of the bond to guide me. You've been stumbling through it blind and half-bound. UnnúlfR forgets that. He speaks as a Froekn, unused to the way a human woman thinks. The only reason I even understand, is because of what I feel through our bond, but I do understand. This hasn't been easy on you. You saved my life and I've made you pay for it. It was unfair to drag you into my world like I did but you walked in and faced down the Great Wolf himself for me. No matter what UnnúlfR may think, no matter what may or may not happen between us, I am proud to call you my mate. You're an amazing Rouva. Look at how you care for my people already. I can't ask for better.”
I didn't know what to say. I was crying full out by the time he finished and I was afraid I'd say something horrible to mess up the moment. So I just went into his arms and held him like he was the only solid thing in my world.
I'd felt like no one understood me for so long; like I kept trying to do the right thing but just ended up fucking things up worse every time. What he said changed everything. It's funny how far a little understanding can go.
Our wolves met in between us with an almost audible sigh of relief. When they touched, I got a glimpse of what it would be like to truly be with Trevor and I have to admit; if the movie was anything like the preview, it would be a blockbuster.
“Forgive me, Rouva,” UnnúlfR spoke stiffly as he stared at the ground near my feet. “I spoke out of anger and love for my brother.”
“Forgiven,” I smiled from the warm confines of Trevor's arms. “I understand your anger and I'll do my best to remedy my part in it, but as far as Sam goes, you don't get to speak to her like that. If Trevor can mate a human woman, there's no reason Samantha can't date a man. In all honesty, UnnúlfR, I don't think that's what has truly upset you. Maybe you should sit down and contemplate why the thought of Samantha with someone else bothers you so much.”
“It's not... I don't... oh whatever,” UnnúlfR growled and turned away, trudging downstairs while he continued to mutter to himself.
“You okay, Samantha?” Trevor reached out a hand to her and she flowed forward, rubbing her cheek against his hand. I was suddenly glad for the cover the tree provided. I don't think we'd have been able to explain all of that to Kurt.
“I'm fine, First-Born,” she smiled at him and then me, “but I better get back to my date before he runs off.”
“Enjoy your human,” he stroked her silky hair as she walked by.
“Oh, I have every intention of doing just that,” she winked at him and he laughed.
“What are you doing to my wolves, Minn Elska?” He whispered down to me.
“Opening their eyes,” I tapped his nose, “and it seems they're returning the favor.”
He gave in to one last snuggle before he escorted me back to our table. Kurt was looking back and forth between Ull and Trevor, totally confused. Sam and Ull were both smiling.
“Hey Trevor, what's up?” Ull lifted his drink in salute.
“Oh just settling a family disagreement,” he helped me onto my seat and sat next to me.
“Trevor's the other owner of Moonshine,” Sam said to her date. “Trevor, this is Kurt.”
“Hey there,” Trevor shook the other man's hand.
“Nice to meet you,” Kurt finally gave up on being confused and just smiled.
“Do you think the others would come over to my place for movies and dinner tomorrow?” I asked Ull. “I'd love to see them.”
“That can probably be arranged,” Ull laughed. “I think Horus misses you the most. He's been even more annoying than usual.”
“He loves me,” I shrugged and smiled like it was a given. Ull laughed louder. “Loves me, loves me, loves me.”
“Well, who wouldn't?” Trevor whispered down to me.
“I'd like for you to come as well,” I peered up at Trevor. His smile was radiant and a little mischievous.
“I'd like that too.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
“Okay, the name of the game is Seven Card Stud,” I dealt the cards, two down and one up in front of everyone.
“You are so hot when you do that,” Ull wagged his brows at me from across my dining table.
“I agree,” Pan added.
“Are we flirting or playing poker?” I looked around the table.
“I vote for flirting,” Trevor raised his hand beside me.
“Very funny,” I growled and then eyed Finn. “Put your hand down, Finn.”
“What?” He grinned innocently. “I was just going to ask what the ante is?”
“It's a quarter,” I sat back, happier than I'd been in days, now that I had all my god friends around me again. Well, all but one.
“A quarter,” Hades scoffed as he looked over at Persephone. “I got this, Bunny-Nose.” He threw two quarters into the pot.
“I don't want you to 'get this',” she grabbed back one of the quarters, returned it to his pile and threw out her own. “I want to play with my own money.”
“Women are insane,” Hades rolled his eyes and the other men at the table nodded in commiseration.
“You just think that because you all think with your penises,” Persephone sniffed and I choked on my rootbeer.
Trevor's hand pounded my back and then stayed there to rub lazy circles over my skin. I allowed it because it just felt so good but after awhile I leaned forward and he took the hint. It wasn't that I didn't want Trevor. It was that I wanted him too much.
I was all mixed up about Thor and Trevor. I guess Blue and Finn should have factored into my thoughts as well but I knew deep down that they weren't for me. It was Trevor. It felt like it had always been Trevor. The only problem was, I still loved Thor.
Even after all he'd done, I couldn't just flip a switch and hate him. I was seriously pissed at him. I fantasized about him groveling to me and me just laughing at him as I walked away. I wanted him to suffer like I was. But I didn't hate him. I couldn't. I just wasn't built like that.
I never understood it when people talked about great love turning into great hate. Real love doesn't turn into something else. It can be killed but it can't be altered like that. At least, not for me.
If you hate someone you once loved, it's because they did something horrible to you. And if someone you thought loved you does something horrible to you, then they really didn't love you in the first place, did they? That kind of realization can kill love. You cease to love them because you realize your love was one-sided and it's difficult to continue to love someone who doesn't love you back. It has nothing to do with change, it's not a transformation. It's a death.
Maybe one of the reasons the love magic felt so at home with me was because I didn't kill love. I wouldn't murder my love for Thor just because he did something awful. When I love, it's for good. It's forever. I will always love Thor and I will always miss him because even though I still loved him, I could never be in love with him again.
Thor had ruined our chance and I had to accept that. I had to accept that he hadn't loved me like I loved him. I think the hardest part of loving, is realizing that the only love you have control over is your own. You can't make the other person love you truly. All you can do is hope and believe in them but then real love doesn't need to be reciprocated. Real love just is.
I glanced over at Trevor and had an epiphany. I wasn't scared that Trevor would do what Thor did. I wasn't worried about giving him my heart and having him not truly love me in return. I was scared that for the first time ever, I might have found someone who loved just as completely as I did. I was afraid because I knew that if I ever gave Trevor my heart, his would be mine just as entirely and I just wasn't sure if I was ready for that. Even in the midst of loving Thor, I knew our relationship would end eventually. There were j
ust too many complications for it to last.
When I looked at Trevor though, all I saw was forever.
“Minn Elska?” Trevor was smiling at me with just a hint of concern.
“What?”
“Are you going to ante up?” He lifted his brows and looked from me to the pile of coins in the center of the table.
“Oh, yeah,” I threw a quarter in. “Sorry, I was a million miles away.”
“Were you?” My Wolf Prince whispered with a knowing smile. “You felt a lot closer than that.”
“Could you two stop playing footsie for ten seconds so we can play some poker?” Horus glared at us.
“Go ahead,” I nodded to his cards. “You have the highest, you bet first.”
I put on my poker face and it wasn't to hide my hand. Realizing why I was being careful with Trevor didn't change anything. In fact, it made me even more paranoid. It was just too soon after my break-up with Thor for me to be thinking straight over matters of the heart.
What if Trevor was just a rebound? What did I do if I was totally wrong and I didn't end up loving him? He'd still be bound to me but he'd have memories of being with me to go along with it. Would memories be better than nothing or worse? Like I said, I couldn't think straight when my heart was still healing. So the decision would have to be put off for a little longer.
Most people prayed for reprieves but not I. I liked action. A reprieve meant no action, which in turn meant I'd be sitting around stewing about what needed to be done. Over and over. Besides, I didn't have anyone to pray to.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Shopping was just what I needed. I was with Sephy and Samantha at Ala Moana, supposedly the largest outdoor mall in the world. They kept adding to it, so they must be constantly fighting for the distinction. We were in one of the newest additions, Nordstrom, which the mall had actually built a overpass to accommodate.
“I love this soup,” I groaned over my tomato soup. We'd taken a break and were having lunch in the Nordstrom Café.