The Westlake Boys

by K R Bicknell

  “I hope you didn’t fall hopelessly in love with me because that was..”

  “Unimpressive?” I say.

  “Yeah.”

  “Does it get better?” I ask him.

  “Oh yeah! with most other girls it’s..” He cups his groin, “Nah, nothing.”

  “You’re gross!” I say and swat his arm. He laughs louder. Then pulling me close again, he whispers in my ear.

  “Don’t tell Brother, okay? He already hates me.”

  “I think I will.” I say, putting my chin on his shoulder, “I’m gonna tell him how it meant nothing, so he stops scowling every time you touch me.”

  His face turns serious, “You think he’s gonna forgive me?” He asks.

  “I think he loves you the most in the world.” I say, “He’ll be miserable until he does.”

  Jacob stayed in my room for a while until I finally kicked him out. The English assignment wasn’t going to write itself.

  I thought about the kiss when I finally slid into bed. I was a little glad neither of us felt anything, but again I wondered about what Mandy had said. Was I asexual? I started imagining what it would feel like to kiss Caleb. What it would feel like to have his full wide lips on mine. The sensations awakened by my imagination were reassuring and yet disturbing. I stayed awake long into the night. Eventually, I heard the heavy tread of his boots in the hallway. I found myself holding my breath when they paused outside my door, but they moved on and I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes.

  Jacob

  I lied.

  When I told Hannah I didn’t feel anything.

  Fuck.

  I could tell she didn’t. She was like a plastic doll, all stiff and cool. So I didn’t want to freak her out.

  But shit, she tasted like...like everything sweet and good.

  Too good for me.

  Probably too good for Brother too but that’s his choice.

  I hope he doesn’t.

  I hope Dad breaks up with her mom and they just leave.

  I like having her around, she’s fun, and a badass. Sometimes, I lie in my bed and picture her as Black Widow, you know, the superhero. The red hair, the killer bod, and she fights. So yeah.

  So maybe, I’ve beat one out thinking about her. Don’t tell Brother, he’d fucking kill me.

  Shit.

  I didn’t lie to her when I told her I get enough pussy. There’s girls and girls, at least a couple grand in our school itself and I haven’t tapped them all. Yet.

  But Hannah, Little Sister? It’s gonna be hard as fuck to stop thinking of her.

  Hannah

  The next morning Travis drives Jacob and me to school and I don’t see Caleb again the whole day. Whispers were floating around the hallway but they all quieted whenever Jacob appeared.

  “Okay, I need to know what’s going on,” I said when Avery and Jenny joined us at lunch.

  “I was going to ask you,” Avery said.

  I shook my head, I needed to hear the gossip first.

  “Well,” Jenny started, “Coach’s party, after the game? Avery and I had already left but I heard that Caleb came in and started going in on Josh Berkowitz. From the team? He smashed him bad, like bad, like his whole face was bloody? And the whole time he’s saying “You touch her again!’ I mean he’s is teammate, right?”

  I stare down at my food. My heart is thundering in my chest and I can’t remember when I took a breath.

  “Who’s Josh?” I manage to gasp at Avery.

  “He’s on the team. Tall, blond, has dimples. What? Hannah? Are you okay?”

  I’m not, the cafeteria is spinning and I think I’m going to throw up so I stand up and very slowly, too slow, walk down the crowded room and out the door. I hear Mandy calling me but I can’t answer. All that keeps going through my head is that it was because of me, Caleb got arrested and might ruin his life. I turn left in the hallway, towards the restrooms, and then he’s there. Caleb. He pulls me into a dark corner and leans close.

  “What happened?” He growls. I can only shake my head.

  “Hannah?”

  I manage to breathe, “Why’d you do it?” I ask.

  He looks confused.

  “Josh. Why?” I say.

  He closes his eyes and leans his forehead on mine.

  “Caleb?” I ask, my voice cracking.

  “I was pissed, okay?” He says moving back a little, “He was being a dick.”

  “He’s on the team. Now you’ll...” I start but he interrupts with a finger pointed at my face.

  “No.” He says, “Don’t. No tears here. Don’t give them that.”

  I breathe raggedly and blink the tears away.

  “Only me.” He says when I regain control. “I’m the only one,” he pauses and then softer, “I’m the only one you cry in front of. No one else deserves your tears.” He tells me and walks away. I hide in the restroom and only come out when lunch is over and the redness has disappeared from my eyes.

  Mandy asks me later, at my locker what happened. But I tell her my stomach was feeling funny because of something I ate and I had to throw up. I don’t know if Avery guessed but I don’t see her again for the rest of the day.

  After work and small dinner courtesy of Enrico, I’m still restless and unhappy so I text Travis not to come for another hour and walk over to the gym. It’s a five minutes walk from the diner, in the dark, and by the time I get there the wind is rushing through my old wool coat as if it was made of paper, and my fingers are frozen. The gym, though is well lit and warm and I feel better as soon as I enter.

  “Babygirl!” Percy calls out as soon as he sees me, “I was wondering when I’d see you next.”

  “I live farther now, remember?” I say as I take off my coat and hat. “And I hate always having to ask their driver for a ride. Anyways, I need to hit something today, a whole lot of somethings.”

  “Do those whole lot of somethings have boys' faces?” He asks as he tapes my fingers.

  “You know it,” I say.

  “Want a sparring partner? I could be a good looking boy.” He says.

  “You are a good looking, not boy, man, but not now. I’m too restless.”

  “Alright then. The heavy bag is empty.”

  I work on my combinations for a while and I’m glad I’m not sparring with Percy because I’m clumsy and out of practice. He calls me in after half an hour to spar with him in the ring. I’m tired and angry and can’t help but make obvious mistakes. He doesn’t say anything till afterward when I’m sitting on a bench and taking off my gloves.

  “You’re a mess, Babygirl. Everything okay?” He says as he hands me a water bottle. I take a large gulp and then text Travis.

  “No. But I’m safe.” I reassure him.

  “That’s good. but you know that’s not the only thing I care about.”

  “I know. I’ll tell you when I can.” I say and he leaves it.

  I go to the couch in the corner and pull out my homework. It’s another fifteen minutes and Caleb walks in the door and looks around.

  “Are you my ride?” I ask him as I walk up, “I texted Travis.”

  “I know. I told him not to bother. What are you doing here?”

  “This is where I fight. I mean, I don’t really fight, but train. Percy helps me.”

  I call him over with a wave.

  When he comes I introduce them.

  “This is Percy. Percy, Caleb.”

  Caleb extends his hand and Percy grabs it and shakes.

  “You a Westlake?” Percy asks.

  “I am.”

  “Hope you’re taking good care of my Babygirl.”

  “She can take care of herself, but yeah,” Caleb says and I want to huff. “You train here,” he asks Percy.

  “Yeah.”

  “You organize fights too?”

  “I can lead you to a couple. Are you interested?” Percy asks.

  “Not tonight. But maybe.” Caleb answers.

  Percy nods and then Caleb pick
s up my backpack and we’re leaving.

  I give Percy a big sweaty hug and he tells me not to wait too long to see him again.

  “What was that about the fights?” I ask Caleb in the car.

  “None of your business.” He says. I don’t ask again and we’re silent the rest of the way home.

  After I get home I shower and then tackle homework. It’s almost midnight when I finish and start to pack my bag. My door opens and Caleb is standing there with his hands in his pockets.

  “Pool room.” He says and leaves.

  I follow.

  He’s sitting on a lounge chair when I get there and pulls me down to sit on top, straddling his legs. Then he sinks his face into my neck and breathes. Once. Twice. Broken and ragged, all I can do is run my hands through his hair and down his back. My body is awakening to that ache again but I don’t ask.

  “What’s going to happen?” I finally ask.

  He moves back and I’m sorry I said something.

  “With what?”

  “The court?”

  “I’ll probably get community service.”

  “And your record?”

  “Well, I’m almost eighteen, so that’s not going anywhere.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say.

  “Don’t.” He leans back on the back of the chair and shakes his head.

  “If I hadn’t frozen if I’d fought back, would you still have beat him up?”

  “It wasn’t you. I didn’t do this because of you.” He says.

  “He is your teammate.”

  “That’s why he should’ve known better.” He says his large hands wrapped around each of my thighs.

  “You told them I was off-limits,” I say.

  “You are off-limits. For everyone.” He says softly.

  “Even you?” I ask and lean my forehead to his. “Jacob kissed me,” I say.

  He jerks back.

  “No. Stop.” I grab his face between my hands, “He just did it to try out. See if we feel anything and neither one of us did. Nothing. It was like.” I make a face, “It was icky. And I’m glad we know now.”

  I feel him inhale.

  “I think it’s a great idea.” I say, feeling braver, “We should try it out too. Just to get it out of the way.”

  I see the smallest smile on his lips but he shakes his head.

  I sigh and sit back. “Can’t blame me for trying.”

  “You couldn’t handle it.” He finally says.

  “What?”

  “A kiss from me.”

  I smile, “You’re probably right, and that’s why I’m going to go.” I stand up, “Wouldn’t want to tempt you too much.”

  He grabs my hand and stops me. I turn back to look at him, sitting in the dark.

  “You tempt me every single night, Little Sis,” he says.

  “Tell me one thing.” I tell him, “Is it a kiss, that you are resisting, or something more?”

  He licks his lips and I want to tell him to stop it.

  “Everything.” He says and I want to run, but I manage to leave without running.

  Stupid moron.

  Caleb

  What the fuck are you doing to me Little Sis? I call her Little Sis in my head to keep thinking about her like I want to, like my body wants to.

  Sometimes it works.

  What shit was Jacob pulling, trying out a kiss? He knows she’s off limits, yet sometimes he can’t help himself.

  That boy has no impulse control. I see him around with his sad baby face and I know I put it there.

  I’m glad Dad’s making him go to AA and I hope it works. I talked to his dealer Donny and told him to stay away. At least Jacob doesn’t owe him anything. I know Donny will contact him again so I have to keep an eye.

  I was surprised to find her at that gym. For a minute I wondered if that guy Percy had a thing for her. But I don’t think so, I hope not. It made me curious though, maybe I could learn something from him. A place to put my rage, before I hurt anyone else. I think I’d like to fight, beat the shit out of someone who’s expecting it, who can take it.

  I use her again. Use her as a vessel for all my pain. Bury myself into her the only way I can. The only way I’ll allow myself.

  I told her the truth, she does tempt me, every fucking day. Her body feels soft and warm in my hands and I want to take her. Not just for me but for her too. I want to make her feel something good.

  It’s probably just a matter of time before I stop denying us both. Just hope she’s ready.

  Hannah

  The next day it’s between third and fourth periods and I’m walking to my locker when I see Harry standing in the hallway in front of the principal’s office.

  “Is everything okay?” I ask him. He looks so out of place standing amongst groups of teenagers in a dark suit.

  “Hmm? Hey Hannah,” he says, “Yeah, Caleb’s due at court.”

  The boy in question walks up then. He’s wearing the blue sweater again, this time with black ironed pants. I try to meet his eyes but he doesn’t look at me, glaring at his dad instead.

  “Ready?” Harry asks and turns around to walk out.

  I’m still staring at Caleb but can’t tell what he’s feeling from his cold expression, but just as he walks around me to follow his dad he grabs my hand and gives it a quick squeeze.

  I finally turn away when the outside doors close and there’s nothing to see. A bunch of kids are staring at me including Annabelle. I ignore them and walk to my locker.

  It’s the last period, biology class when I see her again. I’m standing in the aisle when she walks in and before I know what’s happening she’s standing in front of me with an open cup of some pink drink which is now running down the front of my shirt and pants.

  “Ohmigod!” She says loudly, “I’m so sorry!”

  “Hannah, do you want to go to the restroom and clean up?” Mr. Swanson, our biology teacher asks. I’m too stunned to respond with anything but a nod. As I grab my books and leave, I hear him ask Annabelle, “And what are you doing in my classroom with an open drink?”

  I’m furious with her but don’t really care at this point. Luckily I have my work uniform in my bag so I change into that and am making my way back to class when she walks down the hall towards me.

  “I told you to stay away from him.” She says.

  “Seriously? You’re wasting your time.”

  “Who the hell do you think you are? He’s so out of your league!”

  “I know that,” I say. For a second she is surprised but unfortunately resumes her tirade. I’m still walking down the hall trying to out-walk her.

  “Well then why can’t you stay away from him?” she is still screeching.

  I stop and turn to face her, “Why can’t you, huh? I mean he doesn’t want you.”

  “He did!” she screams, “He did once, and if you hadn’t come along and your gold digger whore mother....”

  I’d had enough and couldn’t stop my right hook from meeting her cheek. Which was a huge mistake because her caterwauling became even louder and soon there were teachers in the hall.

  “She hit me! She hit me!” she blubbered through her tears. I just stood there and hoped to God that neither Harry nor Caleb would have to hear about this.

  I was led to the Principal’s office. Annabelle to the nurse.

  I sat in front of Mr. Johnson, my hands clasped on my knees. I’d only seen the man in assemblies and couldn’t remember ever having a face to face conversation with him.

  Mr. Johnson was thin, tall, and very white. Even his hair was white, and he was looking down at a file on his large wooden desk. I wondered if the file was mine and what it said about me.

  “Hannah,” he started, “You have a reputation in this school of being quiet, too quiet, studious, and have never been in trouble before.”

  “Yes, Sir,” I whisper to my lap.

  “So I’m tempted to give you the benefit of the doubt. Did you hit Ms. Morris?”

  “Y
es, Sir.”

  “Why?”

  I look up, not sure where to start.

  “I assume this is not the first time you two are conversing?” He asked.

  I shook my head.

  He sighed, “Since it’s a slow day and I have time to spare, why don’t you tell me the whole story. From the beginning.”

  So I did. Everything. Including what happened at the party, I had guessed who had tripped me into Josh and it all came out.

  “I guessed it was something like that, but even if provoked, I cannot condone violence.”

  I nodded.

  “But since it’s your first offense, two hours detention should do it,” he said.

  “But Sir, I work after school.”

  “How about before then, can you come in half an hour earlier?”

  “I’ll ask my ride.”

  I started to stand up.

  “Can you spare a few more minutes?” he asked, I sat back down, “I have a question about that party. You were there with Caleb?”

  I nodded.

  “And you say you were tripped? So that you landed on Josh Berkowitz?”

  I nodded again.

  “Now this may be hard but can you tell me what he did to you?”

  “Sir?”

  “This is important, Hannah.”

  “He, he grabbed me,” I hesitated, my face burning, “He groped me.”

  “Without your consent?”

  “I would never consent. I don’t even know the guy!” I say.

  “That is sexual assault.” He said.

  I sat stunned. He was right, but to have it named like that. I didn’t know what to say.

  “This concerns me, Hannah. Do you know where Caleb Westlake is today?”

  I nod again. “Court,” I say.

  Now he’s nodding, “Josh’s parents are the ones who brought the assault charges against him. If they hadn’t, we could have handled it in-house. Ballers get hot-headed, especially after a stressful game like that. I would have preferred that, rather than ruin a boy’s future. Especially a talented boy like Caleb. Now you’re saying Josh assaulted you. I have a zero-tolerance policy for sexual assault at this school. Logically, Josh should be suspended.”

  “Sir?” I asked, I still hadn’t understood what he was saying.

  “Would you mind, Hannah, repeating what you just told me?”