by K R Bicknell
“You’re sick, you’re both sick.” Jacob yells from the couch and turns the volume up on the tv to a deafening level.
My man, my gorgeous, yummy man is sitting on the bed fully naked and holding himself.
“You ready for me?” I ask.
“I am, but you have too many clothes on.” He says.
I shut the door behind me, “That’s because your brother is here.”
I walk in and pull off my hoodie. I have nothing on underneath other than my jeans.
“You think you can fuck me without thinking of him?” He says as he reaches for me.
“Him? Who?” I say as I straddle his legs and take him in my hand.
He looks up at me with a strange look as I start working on him.
“Take me in your mouth.” He says.
“What?” I say and look down, my heart beating wildly. “I’ve never...I don’t know.”
“Your mouth, it’s so...” He slides his thumb over my lip and then slides it in, I suck on it lightly, thinking about doing it.
“Never mind.” He says and pulls me close to kiss me. His hands open the button and zipper of my jeans.
I pull back, “No, Caleb, I think I want to.”
“You don’t have to.” He says.
“You like it?” I ask, “When girls...?”
“Fuck yeah!” He says, his voice low and gravelly.
I climb off of him, “Do you want me naked?” I ask.
“Always.” He says, biting his lip. Seriously, that lip though.
I slide off my jeans and panties and climb on top of his legs again.
“You’re gonna have to teach me.” I say. He does. I think I do a decent job. It’s not as bad as I imagined it to be, and it’s crazy exciting to feel him so aroused. Inside me, around me. I feel his thighs tense and I think I can swallow him down but he pulls me off. Moving me to the side, next to him, and fumbles on the side table for a condom.
“Caleb I could’ve done it.” I say, lying back.
“No. Not today.” He says as he lays on top of me and slides in.
I groan. I’m in love with this feeling. So new and yet not. I love the way he fills me up.
“I wanted to be inside of you.” He says holding still. “I’ve wanted to be inside of you for so long.”
“Oh really?” I tease wanting him to move.
He kisses me, “Months.” He says.
“Caleb!” I cry out. He’s still not moving and I need it.
“No. You tortured me and now I torture you. No one, no one makes Caleb Westlake wait.”
I writhe under him but he’s heavy and immovable.
“You’re cruel!” I cry.
He laughs and then I wrap my legs around his hips and pushing up with my hands manage to flip him over.
“Shit, Woman!” He exclaims.
“Yes, your...” I pant as I sit on top of him, straddling him, “your woman.” Then I start rocking. It takes me a minute but he guides with his hands on my hips and I get it soon. I love this new position. I love being on top, being in control, setting my rhythm.
“I’m gonna make you come.” I whisper as I lean over and kiss him.
“Hell yeah.” He whispers back.
I still come explosively before him and collapse on his chest. He flips me over and pistons into me fast and hard until his own release.
“This is crazy.” I pant afterwards as he pulls me around to lie straight on the bed.
“Fucking crazy. I’ve never...” he still has to catch his breath.
“Never what?” I ask turning my head to look at him. He is lying next to me frowning and doesn’t answer.
I tuck myself into his side, my arm around his middle, and ask, “Can I snuggle for a bit?”
“I’ll allow it.” He says kissing my hair.
I smile and slip into a short very contented nap.
Caleb
She asked if she can cuddle. I don’t tell her that’s all I want. Just to hold her like this, in this warm bed.
She’s by my side, naked, and my brother is downstairs. This is all I need.
Ever.
The rest of the world can go to hell.
She is amazing.
The way she is with sex. No games, no hesitating.
Did I already say that she is everything? Because she is.
Though I’ll never tell her.
Jacob
Fuck they’re sick.
The way they are all horny and stuff. I wish I could be there with them, not between them but ...
Maybe, I wouldn’t mind being there in the room, making a Hannah sandwich.
Nah, even I’m not that sick.
But I mean I wanna be like surrounded be their happiness.
I am glad she’s happy.
And fucking jealous of Brother.
what else is new?
Hannah
I wake up to see that beautiful naked body walk out of the bathroom, clean and dripping wet. I lie still just watching him slide on his boxers and jeans.
“Rested?” He asks, not looking up.
“Um, yeah. Enjoying the view. Come here.” I say, raising up my arms.
He does, fits himself in easily between my arms and legs.
“Tempting so tempting.” He says as he pulls back from my kiss, “I wish Brother hadn’t shown up.”
“Hmm?” I say, sinking back into his mouth.
“Then we could just stay in bed the whole day.” He moves back, standing up.
“Hey, what happens when we get back?” I ask.
“You go to the police, I go with you.” He says pulling on his shirt.
“No, I mean with us.” I say and sit up, I’m still naked.
He looks at me silently.
“I mean do we go back to normal? You to your parties, and me...” alone, I want to say but don’t.
“I have a life, Babe, I’m not going to change it.” He says but stays sitting next to me.
“I know, I’m not asking you.” I say.
“Good.” He says and gets up, “I’m going to keep you safe, Hannah, no matter what.” He says before he leaves the room.
“I know.” I say quietly, to myself. After he leaves I tuck my head into my knees and breathe, I can smell him on me and something hurts in my chest but I don’t know why.
After dinner, we are back on the couch. ‘Wedding Crashers’ the movie is on tv and the boys seem to love it and I don’t see why.
“It’s stupid, it’s trash.” I say.
“No, it’s not.” Jacob protests, there is a sex scene on and it disturbs me.
“Look at that, it’s not even believable that they’re into each other.”
“What do you know about it?” Jacob says.
“I know enough.” I say.
“You want believable sex? You want to watch porn?” He asks eagerly.
“She doesn’t need to do that.” Caleb says.
“Why Brother, think she’ll see something she likes?”
“No. She won’t. Trust me.”
“You think you know her better just because you’re fucking her now?” He says and I’ve had enough.
“Shut up! Both of you!” I stand up and say.
“Hey!” Caleb says.
“We didn’t mean anything.” Jacob says.
“I know but I’ve had enough of you two. Just, I need to be alone.”
“You okay?” Jacob asks. Caleb doesn’t say anything.
“No. But I will be. Don’t follow me.” I tell Jacob, I don’t expect Caleb to.
There is an armchair in our bedroom and I wrap myself in a blanket and sit on it, looking out the window. There’s a full moon outside and the sky is clear. The view from this window is beautiful and in the daytime, I could see the mountains spread out around us. Hazy and blue. Right now the curving mounds look black. I feel alone, I want to be alone but yet don’t like this feeling. Solitude is nice but not loneliness, and I’m lonely tonight. I don’t analyze but I’m also nervous abou
t tomorrow. Would I have to see him again? The chill that had settled in my gut when Caleb had mentioned his plans for turning me into a hooker still existed. No matter how I hard I tried to distract myself by joking around with Jacob or having sex, it didn’t go away.
“You okay?” Caleb asked from the doorway.
“No. But I will be.” I said burying my face into my knees.
“Can I do something?” His hand lands on my head and I flinch.
“I don’t want to have sex.” I say.
“That’s not why I’m here.” he says.
“Aren’t you?” I ask.
“Is that what you think?” he asks standing back up, “That’s not all that I care about.”
“I’m sorry.” I say. “I’m nervous about tomorrow.” I tell him. “What if it doesn’t work? He didn’t really do anything. What if they don’t believe me, or you? I didn’t hear what he said about his plan.”
“That’s what I was thinking.” He said, sitting back on the bed, “They might not believe me, I’m not an ideal citizen. Maybe I shouldn’t come with you.”
“What do you mean? You said you wouldn’t leave me alone!” I lift up my head and say.
“You won’t be alone, Jacob can go with you.”
“I didn’t ask you for any favors Caleb Westlake!” I’m fuming mad now, and I storm out of the room, “Fuck it.” I say, “I don’t need anyone!”
“What is happening, Brother?” Jacob asks.
“Hannah.” I hear Caleb say patiently as I run down the stairs.
I hit the floor and turn around, “I don’t want anything from you!” I say pointing up at the asshole.
“I know that!” he yells, “I know you don’t want, or need anything from me!”
“Don’t do me any favors, okay?” I say, “I don’t need anyone’s help.”
“Catch her, Brother.” I hear him say as I make my way around the kitchen table, and hard arms come around me. I struggle ready to kick my foot back but it’s bare and doesn’t stop him.
“Let me go!”
“Okay, but calm down.” Jacob says. “Fuck the asshole. Tell me what’s up.” He speaks calmly and I quiet down.
“He says he won’t come with me to the station tomorrow.” I sniff. I hate that I sound like a helpless loser.
“What the fuck, Brother?” He asks him, still holding me tight.
“I don’t think my testimony is going to help.” Caleb says standing in front of us calm and cool, “I have a record, they think of me as a messed up kid who can’t control his temper. They’re gonna think I messed him up just because... just because I wanted her for myself.”
The chill permeates my chest and spreads throughout my body. He is right. I hate to think it but he is.
Jacob lets go of me, just as silent as I am.
“He’s right.” I say.
“So what do we do?” Jacob says.
“You go there tomorrow and you tell them what happened.” Caleb says to me.
“But nothing really happened.” I say wrapping my arms around me to ward off the cold that is everywhere now, “He just grabbed my wrist and said something about my mom and ...I don’t remember. Shit.”
I grab my hair on top of my head and tug, I can’t help the tears from escaping my eyes. “It’s not enough.” I whisper, “They don’t arrest people for that.”
Caleb’s arms come around me.
“Don’t.” I whisper even though I don’t want him to pull away.
“You may not need me.” He whispers in my ear, “but I need this.”
I turn around to wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face in his chest. I don’t know if it’s his smell or his heartbeat against my face, but I calm down. Nothing is fixed, nothing is okay, but I will figure out a way to survive.
“Take her to bed, Brother.” I hear Jacob say quietly, “I’ll sleep down here.”
“There are beds upstairs.” Caleb says.
“I know but it’s cold and I like the fire.” Jacob says.
Caleb picks me up in his arms and I bury my face in his neck again, hiding from the world.
He tucks me into bed in the dark room and undresses silently. I take off my clothes because I want skin to skin. I burrow into him when he gets into bed.
“Make love to me.” I request, “Don’t..”
“Don’t what?” He asks, cupping the back of my head gently.
“Don’t just fuck me. Make love to me. One last time.” I say.
He takes my mouth in a hard kiss and proceeds to do just that.
Caleb
It kills me when she says one last time.
I know what it means, and I know that’s the way it has to be. So, I do it. I make love to her.
Gently, slowly, like I have all the time in the world while in my mind I’m screaming ‘This isn’t enough!’
It isn’t fucking enough.
I want more of her.
I want every day, and every night.
That’s why she is dangerous.
One day and I’m addicted to her worse than Jacob was to those pills.
Jacob
I hear them.
I hear her.
Fuck. I should have gone up to the attic but I thought I’d be fine. Now I can’t sleep. Should’ve kept the tv on.
It’s her cries that kill me. She sounds like she’s in pain. Shit. I know she isn’t. I’ve had Brother fuck women in the next room before and he’s quiet. Usually I have fun guessing the girl’s name, picturing what she’s doing.
But Hannah?
It should’ve been me. It should be me making her feel that.
I love her more.
Fuck.
I can’t.
She’s too much.
Chapter 7
Hannah
In the morning we silently make our way back. Caleb and I in the Escalade and Jacob on his bike. The view from the windows is stunning, the morning sun softly shining on the blue-green hills, but I feel my chest tightening as we move down each curve of the road. Caleb is silent, his thoughts locked up in his own head and Jacob veering around us on his bike my only distraction. All too soon we are at the town. I exhale raggedly as we stop at a cross-light and Caleb's hand reaches over and grabs mine in a tight grip. His reassuring grip is warm over my chilled fingers and I take a deep breath.
We arrive first, having left Jacob behind in the town traffic. My mom grabs me in a tight hug as soon as she sees me and I wonder why I didn’t feel the need to talk to her last night. I feel like a bad, ungrateful daughter and hate myself for forgetting.
“Are you okay, Baby?” She asks, “I was so worried!”
I realize the tables have turned, instead of me protecting her, now she was protecting me. I was the victim. I hated it. I was not a victim and wouldn’t let myself become one. Harry comes and hugs me on the other side. It feels odd. I don’t like it.
“Everything’s gonna be fine.” Harry reassures me and then looks towards Caleb.
“Yes,” Caleb says. I look up to see him step backward with his hands in his back pockets. It’s as if he has to put some distance to keep his hands off of me. “She’s gonna be just fine.” He continues. “What’s the plan, Dad?”
“The plan is,“ Harry moves back but my mom still keeps an arm around my shoulders. “In a couple of hours, Amy Sachetti, she’s my lawyer, will come here and you can tell her everything that you remember and then the police will be here around one. You tell them what happened and that’s it.”
“This Amy, she’s good?” I ask as Jacob stumbles in from the garage.
“The best.” Harry says, “I don’t want you to worry about anything. Everything will be okay.” I think he’s talking to me but he’s also looking at Caleb. Caleb nods and then walks away.
I go up and take a really hot shower. I want to wash Caleb off of me. I want to be calm and strong and it’s too easy to feel weak when I could still feel him. Adele envelopes me in a hug when I come back downstairs and her hug fee
ls warmer than my mother’s.
“Don’t worry about a thing.” She says, “Mr. Harry is going to take care of everything, and no one is going to hurt you ever again.” She slides a plate of her homemade fluffy waffles in front of me.
“Caleb saved me.” I say. I don’t know if anyone has told her yet and I figure she should know.
“Oh Honey.” She says with tears in her eyes and I feel she’s crying for me.
I eat in the comfort of her bustling around me.
Amy, the lawyer, is a petite blonde with kind eyes. She sits down on the couch next to me, in the formal living room, my mom and Harry on the other couch.
“We’re gonna make this go away.” She assures me first, “We’ll make him go away.”
I nod though I don’t believe her. Yet.
“Tell me everything.” she says.
I do slowly. Jacob walks in sometime in the middle and sits across from me.
“Were you there?” She asks him.
“No, Brother was.” he says.
“Can I talk to him?” She asks looking at Harry.
“Get him.” Harry tells Jacob.
“So he physically grabbed you and didn’t let go even when you told him to?” She asks me.
“Yes, and then when I hit him and tried to run away he came after me.” I say.
“Right. That’s enough to deem him a threat.” She says.
“Will the cops think so?” I ask as Caleb enters. He has changed his clothes and is wearing a button-down shirt and black slacks. I try not to look at his face.
“Caleb, I’m going to need your version.” She tells him.
“How’s this going to help?” Caleb asks as he sits down, “Is it going to put him away?”
“I’m going to try my best. What you say will determine what charges we can bring against him. The rest depends on the judge. I’m on your side Caleb, yours and Hannah’s.”
“I saw them in the alley.” Caleb starts, and now I look at him, he’s looking down at his hands, “He had a hand around her wrist, and she hit him. In the gut, he bent down and she ran. Then I went after him. Hitting him. He went down. I was still pounding into him and he started talking. Asked me if...asked me if I was fucking her.” Caleb gets quieter, “Says he has some buddies, and...” he stops to clench his fists.