by K. A. Linde
Blaire gave him a knowing look. “Both of us?”
I jabbed my elbow into her ribs. She laughed and waved at the bartender for the night.
Hollin grinned. “Of course.” His eyes swept down my body again. “You look nice.”
“Thank you.”
“I like your skirt.”
I glanced up at him, softening at the words. He’d just complimented me. Not been a total idiot, like normal.
“You look good, too. That looks like the shirt I borrowed,” I said, running my hand along the collar.
His smile widened. “I never got that one back from you. What did you do with it?”
“It’s somewhere in my room,” I said dismissively. “Do you want it back?”
He leaned his elbow on the bar. “Not if you want to keep it.”
I flushed at the words. They hadn’t even been dirty or antagonizing or anything, and somehow, they still made me flush. “What would I do with a shirt that’s three times too big?”
“You tell me.”
Blaire covered her mouth to keep from laughing. She slid me a Bombay and lime. “Here you go.”
“Hey, add these to my tab,” Hollin said to the bartender.
“Sure thing, man,” the guy said.
“You’re the birthday boy,” Blaire protested. “Aren’t we supposed to buy you drinks?”
“Please, the Wrights are covering my tab.”
I laughed. “Of course.”
Blaire winked at me. “Have a good time.”
Then, she disappeared back to our friends.
“Well, she’s subtle, isn’t she?” I said, taking a sip of my drink.
“She knows about us?”
“Don’t your friends know what happened?”
“I told Julian. He thinks you’re out of my league.” Hollin rubbed the back of his head. “He’s probably right.”
I was stunned by the comment. That he’d even admit that. He wasn’t self-deprecating. Normally, he was pure arrogance.
“That’s not the Hollin I’m used to fencing with. I thought the sun shone out of your ass or whatever.”
He grinned. “I mean, obviously, it does. I’m awesome.”
I snorted. “There you are.”
“I’m glad you made it, Piper.”
I took another drink of my gin. “Me too.”
We returned to the rest of the party. Everyone was carefully trying not to notice that we’d had an entire conversation without arguing. Or that Hollin kept looking at me as if he might eat me for dinner. And yet he hadn’t made any of the crude remarks I’d anticipated. I’d anticipated at least one birthday-sex reference, but nothing. Not one sexual reference directed to me, not one push to get under my skin, not a single button pressed. I didn’t know what to make of it.
“I can’t believe we’re almost to the first game of the season,” Julian said.
I blinked and pulled myself back into the conversation. “For the soccer team?”
“Yep,” Jordan said. “FC Lubbock opens the season for their first ever match. I’ll get you all tickets if you want to go.”
“And we’ll all be at the gala,” Hollin said.
“I’ve already given everyone tickets for that,” Jordan said.
“I can’t wait to see what Peyton has put together for the show,” I added.
“She’s performing?” Jennifer asked.
I nodded. “She’s going to do a solo and a pas de deux from one of her New York City Ballet numbers.”
“Oh, it’ll be amazing,” Blaire said. “She’s so talented.”
“Weston will be there, too,” Julian said.
Weston Wright was the biggest shock that Lubbock had had in years. He was Jordan and Julian’s half-brother. It’d turned out that their father had a secret family in Seattle while they grew up in Vancouver. Not just that, Weston was a twin, like me. He had a brother named Whitton and a much younger sister, Harley. Sometimes, I still couldn’t wrap my head around the duplicity. I’d grown up with a strict family, but we all loved each other. I could never imagine someone from my family doing something that terrible to me.
The guys had gone to visit Weston and meet Whitton and Harley in the last year. But none of them had traveled to Lubbock again. This was a big deal.
“That’s great!” Hollin said. “It’ll be good to see him again.”
Julian and Jordan exchanged a glance. There was something else they weren’t telling us. But they nodded and changed the subject away from the gala.
The night continued, and Hollin and I didn’t have one single argument. Was it because I wasn’t fighting him on every little thing? Was it because he wasn’t trying to push my buttons? Was it possible that the two of us could spend a whole night together in each other’s company without me wanting to strangle him?
I’d known there was sexual tension between us. I enjoyed that. I sometimes even enjoyed the fighting. But this was all new.
Later in the night, I used the restroom and reapplied my burgundy lipstick in the mirror. When I came back to the party, Hollin was missing.
I looked around, trying to locate him, and even asked Julian, “Hey, where did Hollin go?”
“I don’t know. He was at the bar with Tamara.”
I bit my lip. I didn’t see Tamara either. She’d been flirting with him all night. Hollin had been mostly ignoring her attempts, but now, they were both missing. Coincidence? I didn’t believe in them.
A knot formed in my stomach. Why the hell was I stressing out about this? If he wanted to hook up with someone else, he was well within his rights. We weren’t exclusive by a long shot. We were nothing. Just two people who had hooked up…twice…sort of.
But I didn’t like it. I suddenly didn’t like the idea of Hollin hooking up with someone else. Let alone Tamara, who, one, worked at Wright and, two, was his sister’s age.
I made some excuse and headed back toward the restrooms. People were making out in the alcove, but I didn’t see Hollin. I didn’t see Tamara either for that matter. I took a breath and released it. This was silly. I’d just go and stand outside. The grape fields were right off the edge of the barn. It’d help to be back in my happy place. It all came back to this dirt. And while Wright wasn’t my winery, it had the same feeling to it.
I opened the back door and stepped out onto the chilly moonlit path that led down to the fields. I hugged myself against the cold. I only stopped walking when I found a figure standing on the edge of the field. Dirt crunched under my feet, and Hollin found me standing there.
“Hey,” he said.
“What are you doing out here?”
“Escaping Tamara.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yeah. She keeps offering me birthday sex,” he said, staring back out at the darkened field.
It was nearly a full moon. So, everything was vaguely lit up from overhead, but it was still dark enough to not be noticed from the back door.
“How nice of her.”
“Not when I keep telling her I’m not interested. I’m her boss.”
“That does border on harassment.”
“I can handle it. Just needed…this.” He gestured to the fields.
“It’s like coming home.”
He looked at me in surprise. “Yes. Grounding.”
I breathed it in and released it. “That’s how I feel, too. It’s my favorite place.”
“Mine, too.” His shoulder knocked gently against mine. “I come out here and live it each morning. It reminds me why I do it. What I’m here for.”
I could barely believe Hollin Abbey had just said that. Had echoed my own thoughts perfectly. As if when I was here with my feet in the dirt and the fields all around me, I was whole again. Nothing could take that away from me.
“That’s it exactly,” I whispered.
He smiled once at me. Not his cocky, ridiculous smile. But one of mutual understanding.
We stood side by side in the dark, breathing it all in. Unt
il I was shivering from the cold breeze coming in from the north and he insisted we get me back into the heat.
It was getting harder and harder to remember that Hollin and I were too different. Not when I had seen firsthand that he was just like me when it came to the winery. The Wrights were the businessmen, but Hollin had his feet in the dirt. He loved this place. And that was something I could understand.
Blaire kept dropping hints that I should stay at the party later than her. But Hollin was drunk by the end of the night. If anything happened, he wouldn’t even remember. And I didn’t want that. So, I said good night and headed back with Blaire. She side-eyed me but relented when I wouldn’t say anything else.
I found Hollin’s white shirt when I got home and brought it to my nose. It still smelled like him. Fuck.
I curled up with it, and the next thing I knew, I woke to the smell of Hollin pressed against me. I jumped up, bleary-eyed, but it was just the shirt. I laughed and glanced at my phone to check the time. I didn’t have to be up for another hour. Though I had a text from an unknown number.
I clicked on it.
* * *
Piper! Long time since we’ve talked. It’s Quinn. I hope all is well. I happened to notice that someone posted a picture of you with Hollin Abbey. Are you two dating? I couldn’t even believe it when I saw it. It was a long time ago, but, girl, run! Run far away. I love you and don’t want to see you get hurt. Come see me in Denver when you’re next in town!
* * *
My stomach flipped at the unexpected message. Everything crashed back down. Quinn had seen me with Hollin?
I pulled up social and found the pictures she was talking about. A bunch of people from last night had added images into a shared album that was made public. And the very first image was of Hollin and me smiling for the camera.
I could deny it. We weren’t dating. But Quinn’s warning felt…fortuitous. As if I had let my guard down around him and let myself forget what he could do to me. How it could all fall apart. Quinn had moved to Denver to escape our living situation and Khloe. I didn’t want to give him the power to hurt me that bad.
Hollin and I might be similar, but we weren’t the same.
20
Hollin
I woke up on Easter Sunday with a hangover.
I’d already promised Dad that I’d show for the service, but I hadn’t considered that my birthday would be the night before Easter. Or that I’d get quite so hammered.
After chugging a bottle of Gatorade, swallowing a pair of Tylenol, and taking a long shower, I was mildly human. The weather was nice enough that I could take the Harley out of the garage and drive in my Sunday best to church. My dad sighed when he watched me pull up, but Aunt Vail whooped as I cut the engine. August walked over, wide-eyed, to assess my baby, and Nora rolled her eyes.
“She’s a beauty,” August said.
“Fuck yeah, she is.”
“Language,” Aunt Lori groused. “We’re at church.”
“We’re in a church parking lot,” I corrected.
My dad shook his head. “Let’s go inside.”
I carried my helmet inside, and Vail sidled up to me. “Sure know how to rile your dad, don’t you?”
“You’re confusing me for the other son.”
She laughed. “True. Campbell has that particular talent on lock. How was your birthday? Find yourself a girlfriend yet?”
This was a normal conversation with Vail. She asked me every other month if I’d found a girlfriend. I always shot her a side-eye, flexed, and acted like no one could handle these guns. It was a ridiculous tradition. But this time…it didn’t feel quite right. I didn’t have a girlfriend. For the first time in…years, there was someone I was interested in.
She noticed my hesitation. “Wait…did you find someone?”
I shrugged. “Sort of.”
“What?” She gaped at me. “Look at you, growing up. Thirty looks good on you, kid.”
“Yeah, yeah. Now, I have to get her to go out with me.”
“What girl would even say no?” she asked with a wink.
Oh, she had no idea.
We entered the church and took our seats on the left side of the building. Piper’s grandma was already seated on the other side of the church, but no Piper in sight. I hadn’t seen her much at church before this. So, it wasn’t a surprise. I’d just been hoping to see her.
The Wrights weren’t yet seated at the front. Heidi and Julia were huddled together, holding Emery and Jensen’s one-year-old daughter, Robin. Austin, Landon, Patrick, and Morgan looked sort of frantic. Sutton was pacing with Madison in her arms with her husband and son seated together on the pew. No Jensen or Emery in sight.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I asked when I located Julian and Jordan.
“Emery went into labor,” Julian said.
Jordan nodded. “I guess she wasn’t due for another week, and her water broke in the church narthex.”
“Jesus.”
Julian shook his head. “Literally.”
Jordan looked between us with a sigh. “Jensen rushed her to the hospital. They left Robin with family, and someone called to bring Colton in from New York.”
“An Easter baby,” I said.
The pastor stood to get everyone to their seats. Piper hustled down the side aisle in a knee-length white dress. She took the seat next to her parents and didn’t even glance my way. Maybe she hadn’t seen me come in. I’d have to stop her before she could leave.
The choir began sang, and the pastor spoke about new birth. Considering it was Easter, it was already an appropriate sermon. But with what was happening with Emery, right now, it hit even harder than normal. An actual new birth.
When the service ended, Piper didn’t immediately run out. She stayed with her grandma as she chatted with all of her friends. I wanted to talk to her, but I didn’t want to interrupt her time with her family either. Normally, I wouldn’t care, but this was important.
Julian came back to stand by me. “So, are you and Piper dating yet?”
“You said I had no chance.”
“Oh, I stand by that.”
“But?”
“No but. I still think she’s too good for you.”
I snorted and jabbed him in the arm. “Thanks, man.”
Julian grinned at me. “So, what is going on? You two were getting along last night.”
“Yeah, I don’t know. She runs scared every time I mention liking her.”
Julian raised his eyebrows. “Do you like her?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“And not just…in the way you treat all other women you’re interested in?”
I side-eyed him. “I don’t treat all women terrible.”
“No, but you’re not exactly…gentle either.”
No, I wasn’t. I never had been. Not for a very long time at least. But things with Piper were different. I didn’t know how to explain it. I could barely explain it to myself. Last night, as we’d stood outside in the fields and stared at the sky, she’d understood me. We were together in that moment. The fields were her home as they’d always been mine. It was a turning point. And for the first time, I was considering that maybe it wouldn’t be bad to actually date her.
“She’s different.”
“Because you’re generally meaner to her?” Julian deadpanned.
“No, because she’s like me.”
Julian blinked at me. He was my cousin and closest friend, but I honestly had no way of making him understand. So, I strode away and followed Piper as she and her grandma left the chapel.
She was standing outside with the sun beating down on her shoulders when I came up beside her. She jumped slightly. “Hollin.”
“Hey, Piper.” I nodded at her grandma. “Nina.”
“Hello again. Are you here to sweep me off my feet?” Nina asked with a twinkle in her eye.
“Always. Where shall I sweep you?”
“Alas, nowhere.” She laughed and winked at Piper
. “Have fun, amorcita.”
“Can I help you get to where you’re going?” I asked quickly.
“I can still make it on my own,” she said with a smile. “Gracias.”
Then, she released Piper’s arm and walked hesitantly away. She still could manage on her own, but I wondered for how much longer.
“Had a good time at the party last night,” I told her.
“I noticed. You got pretty drunk. I’m surprised you’re even on your feet.” The words weren’t exactly flat, but there was none of the warmth in them from yesterday. As if she were bracing herself against me.
“It was touch and go,” I said with a smile.
“Well, I should…” She gestured vaguely away.
I reached for her. “Wait, before you do.” I took a deep breath. “Do you want to go out with me?”
She looked up at me as if she couldn’t understand the words out of my mouth. “Why?”
“Why do most people date, Piper?”
“You don’t date though.”
“I want to date you,” I told her with an easy smile.
“No.”
I heard the word out of her mouth. I understood what it meant. And yet I didn’t understand it at all. No? After the last couple of weeks together? After we’d connected all night?
“No?”
“That’s what I said.”
“But why?” I asked stubbornly.
“I don’t owe you an explanation.”
“I know,” I said, breathing out. “I know you don’t. I just don’t understand. I thought we had something yesterday. We keep ending up right back here.”
She shook her head. “This is a bad idea, Hollin.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“You don’t want to date me.”
“Yes, I do. I’m telling you quite clearly that I do.”
“We both know how this goes. Three dates, and then you get bored and move on.”
I blew out a harsh breath. “Yes, I’ve gone on three dates with people and broken up with them. But the three-date rule doesn’t actually exist. It’s something the guys use to make fun of me. It’s a joke, Piper.”
“It’s a joke because it’s reality,” she said, stepping backward. “I don’t want you to hurt me. I don’t want you to use me.”