by Liz Isaacson
“Cami.” They embraced, and Cami could feel the joy coming off of her.
“How’s married life?”
“Oh, a barrel of fun.” Riley grinned at Cami and then her new husband, Blake.
“Reverend,” Cami said, and they shook hands. “Are you enjoying the fireside series?”
“It’s great,” he said, linking his arm around Riley. They were just so cute, and Cami had actually enjoyed the double wedding with Riley and Raina. Their branch of the Quinn family certainly knew how to throw a party.
Clay came up to her, and she introduced him to Riley and Blake. Thankfully, Riley didn’t say anything about Cami’s dating habits, and Cami and Clay were able to make a graceful exit.
She didn’t feel like talking on the way back to the ranch, and while the silence between her and Clay had always been comfortable, tonight, it felt different. She felt different.
“Ready for a fireside marathon to end the series?” Clay asked as he pulled up to the homestead. “Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.”
“Yeah,” she said absently, reaching for the door handle. “See you then.” She was so out of it that she didn’t notice him getting out of the truck until he met her in front of it.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“What do you mean?” She finally tilted her head back and looked at him. Really looked at him. She didn’t want to hurt him, that much was for sure.
“I mean, you’ve been acting…I don’t know. Distant? Weird. Since the fireside. I even asked you something on the way back, and you didn’t respond.”
“I’m just thinking about what Pastor Dahl said.”
“And what’s that?” Clay laced his fingers through hers. “He spoke for over an hour tonight.”
Cami ducked her head, her auburn curls falling between them. She’d worked so hard on her hair too, because looking her best when she left the house was important to her.
“Cami,” Clay said, gently pressing her chin up with his hand. His eyes searched hers, and she honestly had no idea what he found there. She couldn’t read anything past the curiosity swimming in his gaze.
“I think we should break up,” she blurted just as he opened his mouth to say something.
Shock flowed across his face, and he fell back a step. “You do.” He wasn’t asking, and he sighed a sound heavy with frustration as he took off his cowboy hat and rubbed his hand through his hair.
“Is this because I don’t want kids?”
“No,” she said, though that definitely had something to do with it. “Maybe. I’m not sure.”
“We don’t have to be one-hundred-percent sure right now,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her. “Do we?”
“I mean, I don’t know.” She just wanted someone to tell her what to do. “Maybe I’m just…I don’t know. Maybe I just need a break.” She’d talked about going on a fast the way Flynn had done, but then there was Clay, waiting for her on the end of the bench.
“You’re not making sense,” Clay said. “We’ve only been seeing each other for a few days.”
Cami heard what he was saying—we don’t need to break up so soon—but she needed space and distance to find the clarity she didn’t currently have.
Or maybe she didn’t.
“I’m sorry,” she said, tears pricking her eyes. “I don’t know what I want right now, and I just need time to think.” She started to walk toward the front porch, and he let her go.
“Time to think,” he repeated somewhere behind her. Cami didn’t look back, and Clay didn’t run after her.
She made it into the house, down the steps, and into her bedroom, tears coating her cheeks the entire way.
Chapter 12
Clay had no idea what had just happened. One moment, he was enjoying the fireside with his girlfriend, and the next, he didn’t even have a girlfriend.
He realized with the snap of the front door closing that Cami had left. And he hadn’t said anything.
“Time to think,” he said again—he had said that. What did that even mean? Maybe he’d crowded her. Maybe they’d spent too much time together over the last five days. He was emotionally spent as well, but only because a relationship with someone as special as Cami required him to delve into himself and what he really believed and what he really wanted.
He stared at the house until the motion sensor light turned off, and then he realized he couldn’t just camp out on the front lawn. Walking to his truck caused the front porch lights to snap back on, and he hurried then. He didn’t need anyone to catch him standing there, his heart weeping at what had just happened.
Trooper waited for him at home, and Clay murmured hello to the dog as he wandered down the hall to his bedroom. The stupor lifted, and a rush of anger took its place.
Had Cami been playing with him? He hadn’t pegged her for that type of mean woman, though he knew they existed. She sure did burn through a lot of boyfriends, and maybe that was because of her and not them.
Clay had always assumed them not good enough for her, because honestly, who was? He didn’t feel like he was, and yet…they had shared a powerful connection in the past, especially the last several days.
He wanted to call her, but that wouldn’t be giving her time or space. He exhaled heavily as he laid back on his bed, glad when Trooper jumped up, circled, and then laid right against his side.
At least the dog hadn’t gone crazy and given up on him before they’d really gotten to know one another.
Clay kept his head down the next morning. He saw no reason to call attention to himself. He had plenty of chores to do, and he worked steadily through the feeding and care of the animals before going to the barn where Jessie kept track of the herd.
He had a small section of the counter there where he kept his paperwork too, and he stalled outside the barn to send up a prayer that she wouldn’t be there. Jessie mostly worked in the barn in the mornings, choosing to spend her afternoons out in the fields, enclosures, and cattle barns. Or with Flynn.
After pushing into the barn, he found her space empty, and pure relief filled him. He just needed to go over Rhodes’s plans and figure out what he should be doing now that they’d moved the cake house.
As he flipped pages, he realized he had a meeting that afternoon with the sprinkler supplier in town. He hurried to check his phone, glad when he still had plenty of time to review what Rhodes wanted, grab lunch, and drive to town.
A drive he was supposed to make with Cami. Rhodes would attend the meeting too, so Clay wouldn’t have to be alone with Cami. But he almost thought the three of them would be worse.
Maybe you can get out of it, he thought, swiping to send a text to Rhodes. Swamped on the ranch today. Can you and Cami handle the supplies?
Rhodes called, and Clay cursed himself for saying anything. He couldn’t ignore the call, as he’d literally just texted. So he opened the line and said, “Hey.”
“You’re swamped with what?”
Clay had no idea what to say. “I’m not swamped.”
“You just don’t want to go,” Rhodes said matter-of-factly.
“Right.”
“Why not? I thought you were excited about this project. It allows us to water three hundred additional acres every year.”
And the thought of prepping three hundred more acres to plant made Clay tired. And planting it. And cultivating it. And adding that land to the crop rotation. He sighed. “I am excited about it. I’m just…I’m tired. I didn’t sleep well last night.” Hey, he wasn’t lying.
“And the way my sister has been crying all morning would have nothing to do with this.”
“She’s been crying?”
“All. Morning,” Rhodes said. “At least according to Betsy, and she’s not usually overdramatic.”
Clay turned toward the barn door as it opened. Jessie came in, and their eyes met. If he hadn’t wanted to say anything before—and he hadn’t—he definitely wasn’t going to now. “I have to go,” he said to his boss, and he hung up
.
The awkwardness between him and Jessie was so thick it choked him. “Hey,” he said anyway, lifting one hand in a ridiculous wave. And she wasn’t even Cami. He never should’ve started a relationship with a Quinn. At least not one where it might not work out.
“Hey, Clay,” she said easily, moving toward him so quickly he didn’t have time to get out of the way. She drew him right into a hug and asked, “How are you doing?”
He wanted to sigh and soften and tell her everything. In that moment, he realized he didn’t have anyone to tell. No one to talk to, or work through things with. And he loved Jessie like a sister.
“Cami broke up with me,” he said. “That’s how I’m doing.”
“Oh, the whole ranch knows,” Jessie said, stepping back. “She’s not real quiet about things.” She gave him a strained smile and tucked her hands in her back pockets. “I’m sorry about her.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“She’s…still trying to figure out what she wants.”
“Seems like she would know by now,” Clay said, instantly regretting the words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” He didn’t want to talk badly about Cami, not to her sister. Not to anyone.
Jessie smiled more fully at him now. “No, you’re right. I won’t tell her you said that.”
Clay wanted to ask his friend what to do next. But he didn’t want to seem desperate, and he didn’t want to share more with Jessie than he shared with Cami.
He lifted the folder of equipment they needed for the new irrigation system. “Well, I have to go over this and get to a meeting in town.”
“Okay,” Jessie said, and she watched him leave the barn.
Once free from the weight of her gaze, Clay drew in a deep breath. “Okay, Lord,” he said. He didn’t have anything else to add, and he took his folder of specs to a bench in the shade and started going through it all.
Hours later, he pulled up to Rhodes’s cabin, where he’d agreed to meet with his boss. He didn’t get out of his truck or text his friend. Rhodes would come out when he was ready, and sure enough, the front door opened a few seconds later. He climbed in the passenger side and said, “All right. Let’s go.”
“No Cami?”
“I told her she didn’t need to come,” Rhodes said, keeping his gaze out the passenger window. “Trust me, she’s in no state for a meeting anyhow.”
“You know she broke things off with me,” Clay said. “Not the other way around.” He glanced at Rhodes. “Right?”
“Oh, I know,” Rhodes said, finally meeting Clay’s eye. “Cami is a special woman.” He smiled, obviously not going to say any more.
Clay should be—and was—grateful for that. He adjusted the volume on the radio and pulled out of Rhodes’s driveway. “So you built that soda wall for Capri.”
“No, what I did for Capri was apologize,” he said. “Profusely. And I cut back my hours, and I showed her I wanted to spend time with her.”
Clay frowned. “I—”
“I’m not sayin’ you did anything wrong, Clay,” Rhodes said. “What I’m saying is Cami needs to figure some things out. Once she knows what’s in her way, she’ll come back to you.”
Clay’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel. He didn’t normally need to be reassured quite so much, but he wanted Rhodes to tell him again. He refused to ask though, and instead, focused his attention on the driving.
“There are a few fixes in your orders there,” he said, nodding to the folder on the seat between them.
“Fixes?” Rhodes picked up the folder.
“Some of the numbers weren’t quite right,” he said. “We needed less fittings, for example. And several more sprinkler heads, at least if I read the type of assembly you want correctly.”
“Cami did the numbers,” Rhodes said, flipping through the pages. “But I’m sure you’re right. Her numbers were estimates.”
Clay was just glad they were off the fragile ground of talking about Cami. He had nothing but time, and he supposed if Cami needed a little bit of it to figure out how she felt about him, he could give it to her.
If only his chest didn’t feel like it was about to cave in on itself.
Chapter 13
Cami sat in the window seat in the dining room, the view out the window to the west showing her the sinking sun. Soon enough, it would be gone, and another day without Clay would be over.
The first day without Clay.
Why did it feel like a lifetime had passed?
Why had she broken up with him?
Betsy had let her stay upstairs in the homestead, though Cami couldn’t seem to stop crying. That kind of thing normally annoyed Betsy, but she’d been kind and supportive that day.
Right now, no one was on the main level at the homestead, as they all had significant others to spend their evenings with. Cami wanted to surround herself with people that shared the same goals and morals she did—and that had always been her family.
“Maybe you just panicked,” she said to herself. And maybe she had. Maybe she’d allowed herself to get too far into her own head about Clay’s reluctance to have children. Family was everything to her, and she couldn’t believe she’d told him she was okay being childless.
She wasn’t.
He should know that, she thought, and she flipped her phone in her fingers. She’d been toying with the idea of calling him for hours now, but she still hadn’t done it. After all, she’d had a boyfriend who’d broken up with her and then contacted her all the time. Jackson’s continued reminders of him had annoyed her. Hurt her. Kept wounds open that should’ve been able to be closed.
She wouldn’t do that to Clay. She respected him so much.
A pair of headlights cut through the darkness, and Cami blinked. How long had she been sitting here? Long enough for the sun to go down and she hadn’t even noticed.
Car doors slammed, and Cami expected someone to come through the front doors. They didn’t, and for some reason, her continued isolation cut through her whole soul. A fresh set of tears started, and she hated that she didn’t know how to do anything but cry.
“…get the invitations tomorrow.”
She turned toward Georgia’s voice, almost wishing she wouldn’t snap on the lights. But she did, and Georgia came in with bags in her hands, their mother right behind her.
“And Betsy is using that same photographer,” her mom said. “And she said you picked a cake.”
Cami kept her knees tucked right to her chest, wondering if they’d even notice her in the window. She’d lived so much of her life in the Quinn family shadows, being one of the younger Quinns in the valley.
“I did,” Georgia said. “Mom, it’s so amazing. It’s the one with seven layers.”
Their mother smiled, and set her bags on the counter. “Okay, so we’ll start on these table decorations and get everything set.” She glanced around, and still she didn’t see Cami only twenty feet away. “Do you think Betsy would mind us storing them on the table?”
“Yes,” Georgia said. “We eat there every weekend, Mom. Maybe we can set up a table in Cami’s office.”
Her heart leapt at the mention of her name.
“How is she?” their mother asked. “I texted her twice today, but she never answered.” She started pulling out white and burgundy craft supplies. “Didn’t we get those silver twigs?”
“Yes,” Georgia said. “I think I had them.” She produced the items their mom wanted, and Cami wished she had such an easy relationship with their mom. But their relationship was simply more business-like, as Cami’s mom had been the one to catch Cami up on all the financial matters on the ranch. Their previous accountant had retired before Cami had finished college, and she honestly felt like she’d fumbled in the dark for a solid year after returning to the ranch.
If she were being completely honest with herself, she was still stumbling through life. Completely.
“Cami’s…I don’t know,” Georgia said. “I’m not sure why she broke u
p with Clay. She probably doesn’t even know.”
“She does that a lot,” her mom said. “Or am I reading that wrong?”
“I don’t know,” Georgia said. “She’s always been the one with the most dates. Maybe she just….” She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “I don’t know. Jessie will know better than anyone.” Georgia surveyed the supplies on the counter while Cami’s heartbeat thudded in her chest.
It was a completely strange sensation to hear others talk about her, even if they hadn’t said anything bad.
“She was my easiest baby,” her mom said with such love in her voice. “I finally had a thing or two figured out by the time she came along.” She gave a light laugh, and Cami couldn’t help the half-sob, half-laugh that came from her mouth too.
Both Georgia and her mother turned toward her, and pure shock filled her mom’s face. “Cami.” She strode toward her and gathered her right into the motherly embrace Cami needed. She clung to her mother and wept, and her mother stroked her hair and told her everything would be all right.
“He must be something special,” her mom finally said, pulling away from Cami. “I mean, he’s what? Your fifth boyfriend this year, and I’ve never seen you cry over one of them.”
That wasn’t entirely true, but Cami had contained her tears to her bedroom. She got control of herself and sat back against the wall. Georgia brought her a steaming cup of tea, and Cami smiled at her gratefully.
“Tell us what’s really going on,” her mom said.
Cami took a sip of her tea, trying to get her thoughts aligned. “Clay doesn’t want kids.”
Her mom swallowed and cut a glance at Georgia. “Okay, well, I wasn’t aware you were revving at the starting line to get pregnant.”
Georgia giggled, and suddenly Cami found everything funny too.
“What?” their mom asked.
“Well, we didn’t get married at twenty-three and have a baby nine months later, no,” Georgia said with a smile.
“Everyone has their own path,” their mom said with a smile. “I actually wish I’d been older.”