by Nikki Brown
This is where things got sticky for me because, a part of me wanted him to stay because I loved his company, but I knew what this was. I was very confident in who I was and I knew what I had to offer. I wasn’t one of those desperate females that begged for the attention of a man. As far as I was concerned it was what it was. So even though my feelings wanted one thing my pride and ego did another.
“Who the fuck is Michael?” Sony asked coming out of the bathroom with my phone in his hands. I forgot that I left it in there before my shower.
“Who Michael is, is none of your concern fuck buddy.” The look he gave me caused the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. For a second I could have sworn I saw a twinge of jealousy, but just as fast as it was there it was gone and replaced with a subtle smile.
“My bad you right.” He shrugged. “I gotta get out of here, I’m supposed to take Ivanka out for dinner tonight.” I wanted to smack the smirk he wore off of his face but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that what he said affected me. So instead of checking him about what he’d just said, I fired back.
“Have fun, call me before you come by next time. Michael is my ex, and he’s been expressing how much he wants to rekindle what we had.” It was my turn to smirk. Even though all of that was a lie, it felt good to see him sweat.
If looks could kill I would be on the side of the road with my neck slit, his eyes turned the color of coal, and the red hues in his blemish free skin popped through. I looked around the room for something to defend myself with just in case he got crazy.
“Oh, word.” Was all he said though, and with a nod of the head, he was gone.
I threw myself on the bed and cursed for going that far with him. I just didn’t understand why either one of us was acting so possessive when all we were doing was fucking….right?
I heard my phone vibrate on the floor where Sony had dropped it, I leaned down to see that it was Michael calling again. I rolled my eyes to the ceiling and prayed that he caught the hint.
What Michael wanted was beyond me, and I had no plans on seeing why he was calling so much. My thoughts drifted to Sony and how jealous he acted. It made me smile, but it didn’t last long, Sony and I would never be, and I knew that. Shaking the fantasy out of my head I hopped up and in the shower. I promised Ocean dinner tonight.
***
Walking into Chimas, one of our favorite restaurants, I spotted my sister right away. Her beauty stood out in a room full of people regardless of how many were there. I thanked my mother for blessing us with our exotic facial features and feminine curves. I thank my dad for my thickness though.
Noticing me, Ocean stood up and began to wave me over like I couldn’t see her. I let out a light chuckle before I made my way to where she had already started to eat.
“Damn Ocean hungry much?” I playfully rolled my eyes.
“Girl I haven’t eaten all day and you,” she looked at her watch and then back up at me, “You are thirty minutes late.” She returned the eye roll and continued to eat.
Sitting down the first server brought around fillet minion and I started there. Chimas was a Brazilian style restaurant where they brought around slabs of freshly cooked meat and served you until you were stuffed. I swear you leave here with meat sweats, there’s so much food and so many varieties. We were in heaven.
“What you been up to?” I asked her making small talk between servers. “Still dealing with Bryce’s retarded ass?” I never missed a moment to show my disdain for my sister’s soon to be ex-husband! I was so glad she found out the sorry piece of shit that he is.
“Girl he just won’t stop,” she dropped her fork and picked up her napkin to wipe her mouth. “He keeps popping up at the house and at the youth center like I don’t know what to do.” My baby was frustrated, and I hated seeing her like this.
“You want me to talk to him? Cause I will.” I raised a brow, and she laughed, knowing good and darn well that if it came down to protecting her peace, I was one way.
“No girl, you almost got arrested last time.” She shook her head. “You got too much to lose dealing with his no good ass.”
“Sounds like you’re really done.”
“When I first found out, I was all for fighting for my marriage, but the minute I found out that not only did he lie about the extent of their relationship he was still in one with her I was done. All the while my dumb ass sat at home and played Susie fucking homemaker. The fuck!”
“I told you not to marry his ass, but nooooo you don’t listen to me.”
“River, when I asked you why, you said it was because he wears tight pants that stop at his ankles and you could see his socks.” She was trying to hold in her laughter but she was failing miserably.
“Shit that’s a valid point.”
“The way he dressed was not a valid point, that’s the style.” She shook her head clearly not up on game.
“That’s exactly my point, that’s that I’ma fuck boy in bitch nigga clothing and Ima fuck up yo life in my leather penny loafers. I mean seriously, do you see how tight he wears his jacket? Hell, you should have known the nigga didn’t have a heart there wasn’t no fucking space for one.”
The drink that Ocean just took in went everywhere as she burst out laughing. She covered her mouth when she realized that the drink that came from her mouth reached a passing patron.
“Oh my God I’m so sorry.” She went to apologize, but the second he turned around, I went to grab my glass of water so I could continue to decorate him with liquid. Ocean stopped me before I could do it though. “River!” She said through gritted teeth.
I snarled my nose at her and took in the man that broke my heart into a million pieces. It would be so easy to hate him right now if he didn’t look like he just stepped off the cover of GQ magazine.
His dark skin and thick lips took me back to a place where I didn’t want to go. I had forced myself to forget about all the good times in order to fully get over him. The only thing I could remember about him was the fact that he left me for another chick when I needed him the most.
He hadn’t changed much, he was still tall and lean, looking like he worked out often. He still wore that arrogant mug that stayed plastered on his face. At this point, he had ruined my appetite, and I was ready to go.
“River, my beautiful River.” He smiled like we were friends or something.
“Man kill yourself with all that.” I waved him off. “Why you keep calling me?”
“I was in town, and I wanted to see you.” His smile was inviting, but I wasn’t buying the bullshit, he wanted something. I knew how he operated. “Are you not happy to see me? I’m so sorry, how rude of me, hello Ocean how are you?”
“I’m fi—”
“She don’t like you either so what do you want?” I squinted my eyes, and she put her hands up in surrender. He looked back and forth between Ocean and me before chuckling. I don’t think I would be so pissed if he didn’t look so got damn good.
Michael was sexy in his own right, his dark skin had a glow to it. His face was long and housed the most beautiful set of light brown eyes. His eyes made his chocolate skin pop. Michael was tall with an athletic build, smart and sexy was one hell of a combination too bad he was too full of shit to let it show.
“Can we sit down sometime and talk? I miss you.” He flashed his award-winning smile, and I had to adjust in my seat to keep my clit from crying out.
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Please don’t be like that, I thought we ended on good terms.” His hands found his pockets and he slightly rocked from his toes to his heels.
I scoffed and turned my head to try and get my temper under control. He had to be out of his mind to think that we ended on good terms, he broke up with me and the next thing I know he was engaged with a baby and ready to live life to the fullest. Hell, I was still battling with myself trying to figure out who was the side chick, me or her. I rolled my eyes just thinking about it.
Just when I thought my night couldn’t get worse, I heard the loudmouth man that I was screwing on the regular. I looked up just as he noticed that we were only a few feet away. The smile that spread across his face irked me. Tapping his brother he pointed in our direction and I knew at that moment shit was about to take a turn for the worse, and I wasn’t in the mood for it.
“Well well well, look at what we have here,” Sony said as he walked up to the table, grabbing a chair that wasn’t currently being occupied from the table beside us. “Who this nigga?” He looked up at Michael and then back at me.
I looked to Ocean for help, but she was too busy cheesing in Lucas' face, I think that was his name. Counting to ten and then I looked up at Michael who had a mug on his face that was nowhere near nice, and I must admit that it felt good.
“Michael, is there anything else that I can help you with?” I asked completely ignoring the fact that Sony was running his finger down the length of my arm. I turned to him and twisted my lips. “And could you stop, what do you want?”
“Yo why the fuck he get the nice nasty shit, and I just get plain on fucking nasty? Huh, River? Don’t do that shit because you wasn’t acting that way earlier when I was all in them guts.” he stated louder than I would have liked. To say that I was embarrassed was an understatement. I was sure that my cheeks were the deepest shade of red that I could get them. We now had my sister and his brother’s attention along with the patrons that were closest to us.
“Bitch!” the sneaky smirk on Ocean’s face caused me to shake my head and slap Sony’s hand away from me. “You sneaky heffa, why the hell you ain’t tell me?”
“Oh my God, it ain’t that deep.”
“River can we talk privately?” Michael butted in the conversation, and it wasn’t in a pleasant way. I was confused at where the sudden attitude came from because we were not together and hadn’t been for a while. After what he done to me, if I fucked another nigga in front of him, it still wouldn’t add up to the amount of pain he dished out.
“Nah homey, she good.” Sony rudely interjected.
“Last time I checked I could speak for my got damn self,” I rolled my eyes at Sony. “I don’t know what’s so important that we need to talk now, after all this time, after all, you’ve done.”
“Don’t talk to me like that River, make me bend you over this table and show you why you gone respect me.” Sony attempted to whisper in my ear, but the snickers coming from across the table let me know that what he said was heard. Michael cleared his throat.
“How about I fold you up and put ya feet by ya ears like I did this morning?” I said through gritted teeth.
“You said you wasn’t gone say shit about that.”
“That’s some bitch shit bruh,” Lucas said and then burst out laughing, Sony flipped him off.
“Oh, she pulled that on you too?” Michael butted in. “Ms. River has a bunch of tricks up her sleeve, one of the many reasons I’m standing here today.”
“Both of y’all shut the fuck up, Sony, I don’t know why you tripping because we just fucking nothing more, nothing less, so stop with the crazy shit.” I rolled my eyes at him and then faced Michael.
“Yes, we have history, there is love there.” The smirk on Michaels face slowly faded as Sony made his way to his feet. I could hear him grinding his teeth and the icy cold stare he gave me this morning was back, and I knew that this was about to be all bad.
I jumped up right as Sony was about to walk around the table.
“Michael, I don’t want anything to do with you, and I would appreciate it if you would stop calling me and popping up. We ain’t seen each other let alone dealt with each other in lord knows how long so stop with all your bullshit too. Go home to your wife.”
“I no longer have a wife.” He revealed. “It didn’t work out.”
“Not my problem, you can go.” I sat back down and then had an afterthought. “You know what better yet, I’ll leave.”
Grabbing my purse I looked at my sister, and she looked at Lucas, I nodded my head and headed for the door. I was looking forward to a nice quiet dinner with my sister, but that was ruined by those two assholes. I needed to open myself up to be with a man who deserved me and stop dealing with all these dumb assholes.
“River wait man.” I heard Sony call out, but I didn’t bother to turn around I kept it moving until he grabbed my arm and spun me around. He was about to say something, but something behind me caught his attention.
“Hey baby, what are you doing here?” Up walked a skinny, medium brown chick that was cute in an average kind of way. Her entourage was made up just like she was, skinny and well kept. This must be one of his little flunkies, she looked the part. Slipping her arm through his, she peered at me. “And you are?”
“This is just my friend,” Sony interjected before I could tell her none of her got damn business.
Most thicker women would cower in the presence of someone like her and her friends, but not me. I was dressed to the nines, in my black fitted slacks with the suspenders and a white off the shoulder shirt. You couldn’t tell me that I wasn’t killing the game. My hair was pulled up into a tight ponytail and flowed down my back. I was beat and the red lipstick I opted for today was serving me justice so if you ask me these bitches should feel self-conscious.
“Oh good, for a second there I thought you were chasing her.” she giggled and so did her little friends. “Then I looked at her and realized that she wasn’t your type, she’s definitely friend zone material.” This time they were more present with the laughter, making sure I understood the shade they were throwing was real.
“Oh naw,” Sony chuckled refusing to look at me. “We just cool.”
“You shouldn’t be his type looking like a bird took a shit on your lips,” I was referring to the white lipstick she had on like it was okay. “What you think because you a skinny bitch you pretty? Think again hoe, sitting over there looking like a praying mantis.” I snarled my nose and took off in the direction of my car then I stopped and turned around and faced Sony, “You make sure the next time you wanna get your rocks off you call this stick figure because I won’t be available, Friend!”
With that I took off vowing to myself to never let him back into my heaven. I know we weren’t doing shit but fucking but he could have corrected his bitch. He pacified the shit so I was done with his ass too. I was done with muthafuckas who didn’t deserve me, and I put that on my cookie.
Ocean
Running into Lucas last night was a surprise, a pleasant one. I was trying my hardest to keep my distance from him but the more I was around him the more I wanted to be. It was something about the way he carried himself or maybe it was the tattoos or maybe his bad boy persona.
Everything about Lucas screamed boss and I couldn’t help but want to be near that, but I knew my situation was about to get sticky and I wasn’t trying to add more stress to the situation. Even though he assured me that he was no longer with his girlfriend, I just couldn’t put all of my faith into that.
Even freshly out of the situation there was a possibility that he would go back, he told me a little about their history but there was something that made him stay and that something could pull him back in. I wasn’t trying to be on the receiving end of that pain so I wasn’t getting my hopes up.
“Ocean!” the way he called my name made my skin crawl, he must have gotten the divorce papers because there was a hint of anger in his voice masked by a glimmer of hope.
Popping my head out of my car from getting the things that I would need for work, I tried to gather a little bit of strength to deal with the situation at hand. I knew it was coming, I just didn’t want it to come right before I had to be at work. I had enough stress dealing with these teenagers, and I didn’t want to deal with the bullshit from him too.
“Yes, Bryce?”
“What the hell is this?” he flashed the papers in front of me like I didn’t know what they were. “I thought we talked
about other alternatives.”
“Exactly what alternatives do you think we can take?”
“Counseling, something!” he yelled.
“I don’t think there is anything that will make me forget the shit that you’ve done if you want to be honest.” My tone was even with a hint of sweet. “Let’s just call this what it is Bryce. I mean seriously I tried but I will never trust you again and the fact that you’re still fucking with her shows me everything I need to know.”
“When you stop being stupid and let me come home then Bailey won’t be an issue.”
I dropped my head and shook it. Bryce was selfish, and I didn’t know how I didn’t see it before. He wasn’t the man I thought he was and I must admit that he hid it well. I was so wrapped up in my kids that I let the signs slip by me, this was in no way shape or form my fault, but I do believe that I should’ve known.
“Bryce things hadn’t been the best between us, and you know it, although we were content, we weren’t putting any effort into our marriage. I don’t want to live like that, a marriage is supposed to be two people who love, honor, RESPECT and cherish each other and that hasn’t been us for a while.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but I put my hand up to stop him because it didn’t matter what he said it wouldn’t change how I felt. I was done, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. I deserved more, way more and I knew that. I hated change, but it was necessary, for both our sanities.
Despite my gesture he began to speak again, “It’s because of these damn kids.” He pointed to the building, “We didn’t start falling apart until you started working here.”
He was always jealous of how much love I poured into my career, the funny thing was he was the same way with his. He was so busy fighting to get his name out there with hopes of joining a major law firm and possibly becoming partner later on down the line. I wasn’t the only one out of the two of us that was career oriented, he was too so this argument of his was bullshit, and he knew it.