In all honesty, he couldn’t say he’d been looking forward to this meeting. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he also knew they needed to talk. The main difficulty was knowing what needed saying. But it was also hard to know who he should talk to first. In one sense, the easiest option was to talk to the only person who was pleased to see him. Unfortunately, Colin didn’t strike him as having much capacity for conversation. He did offer a way in though.
Martin rested a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder, a gesture that made Colin sit up straighter and smile more broadly. “I can’t believe how grown up you are.” His gaze switched between his parents as he spoke. At that moment, he wasn’t too concerned about their effect on his brother.
“He was only nine when you left,” Patrick pointed out.
“True, but he...” Martin hesitated.
Patrick glanced at his youngest son’s oblivious smile. “He’s done well,” he conceded, “all things considered.”
“Still needs some looking after, though.” He didn’t even attempt to make it sound like a question.
“If you’re talking about what happened in The Oak, well...” He looked across at his wife. “We do our best, but sometimes it’s just not enough. You can’t protect your children forever.”
Martin decided to keep his thoughts on that subject to himself for now. “How does he get on at work?”
“He doesn’t.” Matthew had clearly decided he needed to be included.
“Must be a strain.”
“We manage.”
“I suppose it helps that you work in the village.”
For a moment, Matthew’s lips tightened. “It helps, yes.” There was an edge to his words that left Martin wondering.
“How is the work up at the farm?”
“It’s work.” Matthew shrugged.
“It’s funny, I always got the impression you’d want to move away. When I came back I half expected to find out you were working down south, or even abroad.” Martin made the comments lightly, but they prompted the response he was looking for: tight lips again.
“Sometimes life doesn’t turn out the way you expect,” Matthew said carefully. “But that has nothing to do with Colin.” The last remark was unnecessary – which said plenty.
Rather than pick up on it, Martin turned to his mother. “And you’re working too now?”
Anne’s eyes were reminiscent of those of a rabbit caught in headlights. She stared back at him for several uncomfortable seconds. It was tempting to help her out and start talking just to fill the silence, but Martin resisted.
Finally, she gave a slow nod. “That’s right.”
The idea of his mother working still seemed alien to him. Throughout his childhood, she had been at home, looking after the children and making sure the house was clean and tidy, and that food was on the table when it should be. Even though that had been more the norm in the sixties, and attitudes had changed during the seventies and eighties, he still couldn’t imagine his father wanting his wife at work. He had no doubt that they must be facing hard times financially if he was prepared to let her go. Which didn’t make sense. Even without his mum working, there were three others who were out at work and bringing money into the household.
“Where are you working?”
“Griffin’s,” she said. There was no hesitation this time. Perhaps she was getting into her stride. He decided he’d try to keep things easy for now.
Shaking his head, he said: “Never heard of them. Are they a new company?”
A quick glance at Patrick before she answered. Martin didn’t see his reaction, but assumed he must have indicated that it was okay to carry on.
“I think they’ve been around for about ten years or so. Since you...” She faltered for a moment, dropping her eyes. The recovery was relatively quick though. “They started up after you left. That’s why you won’t have heard of them.”
Martin nodded his understanding, turning to his sister as he did so. “And you’re there too, I gather.”
The sudden shift of focus was intentional and had the desired rabbit and headlight effect. Janet’s mouth repeatedly opened and closed as he smiled at her patiently. No sound came from it for several moments, and again he had to restrain himself from sparing her the awkwardness.
Eventually either the Gates genes or instinctive mimicry kicked in as she nodded and said: “That’s right,” her tone identical to her mother’s.
“What do Griffin’s do?” He kept his attention on Janet for now.
“They’re a wholesalers.”
“Do they wholesale anything in particular?”
“All kinds of things really. Clothing mainly, but there’re other things too.” As with her mother, once she had started, the responses came a little easier.
“And what do you do there?”
She shrugged dismissively. “Nothing much. Just general help in the warehouse. Packing cartons for shipping, unloading new stock when it comes in, that kind of thing.”
Martin had to agree with her initial assessment: nothing much. So his sister’s income probably wasn’t fantastic, but it would still be more than helpful when added to his dad’s and Matthew’s.
“Are you doing the same, Mum?”
Although Anne wasn’t caught out quite as much as last time, he knew he still had her off-balance. The pause was short, but there, and the nod was jerky and awkward. “Er...yes.”
“Must be nice to spend so much time together,” he commented.
Again a nod. “It is. Yes.”
“What about you, Dad? Is it good to be working with Matthew?”
Patrick was more prepared than his wife or daughter had been. He must have been watching the way Martin was playing with them, because he appeared to be expecting a question. Just not this one particularly, though he could see where it was heading.
“I do, yes. Matthew’s been very good to me and your mum. He’s given up a lot to help us with Colin.” He gestured to his youngest child, who beamed back at him when he heard his name. “And he supported us financially when I lost my job at the farm.” He gazed directly into Martin’s eyes, the challenge in them plain to see. “I’m a very lucky man.”
His words and their implications caught Martin out. He leaned back in his chair and adjusted himself as if he had become uncomfortable and needed to change position on his seat. He wasn’t sure how well he covered himself. He suspected not very well from the glances that passed between Patrick and Matthew.
“I can see that you are,” he replied eventually. He let his gaze pass over everyone in the room. There was a definite closeness between them. It was something he hadn’t experienced for a long time. And it was something he couldn’t imagine he was going to feel again with these people. There seemed little more to be gained by prolonging this meeting. He needed time to think now, to consider whether he should pursue things with them or simply move on.
Standing up suddenly, he didn’t know whether to laugh or be upset at the reactions from his family. Both his mother and sister flinched back, while his father and elder brother seemed to tense as if they were preparing for a fight. On the floor beside him, Colin simply looked up at him in puzzlement.
“I’d better get on,” he said, tapping his watch. “It’s well past nine, and I’ve got a bit of a walk yet.”
“Walk?” Matthew asked suspiciously.
“Yes, I’m stopping up at the McLeans’ house. And as it’s my first night there, I don’t want to be getting in too late and disturbing them.”
“First night?” Patrick’s expression made it clear that he regretted the question as soon as it came out.
“Well, I don’t know how long I’ll be stopping, but Tanya and Ian have said I can stay as long as I want.” Which wasn’t true, but there was no harm in giving them something else to gnaw on. And from the looks that passed between his parents and older siblings, it had the desired effect.
Twenty One
Question Time had just started. Tanya could
n’t understand why Ian watched it at the best of times. She had no interest in politics, and bearing witness to a bunch of overgrown schoolchildren arguing about things that seemed of little or no consequence to her was clearly a pointless exercise. And the mood Ian was in, she couldn’t see that he’d be getting any benefit from it tonight.
She was allowing herself to be subjected to the programme tonight for the simple reason that she wanted to be around when Martin came back. Under other circumstances, she would have made her excuses and gone to bed. That would allow her to, at the very least, pretend to be asleep when Ian joined her. Their sex life was pretty limited these days, and her enthusiasm for it had long since disappeared. They were in a rut on that front, and her needs involved a lot more excitement. Having to endure Ian laying on top and going through the motions was almost less attractive than watching Peter Sissons refereeing a bunch of idiots who seemed to think they were demonstrating their intellect by scoring points off each other.
Tonight, though, her curiosity about Martin was stronger than her aversion to political debate or to the risk of Ian’s advances. To be fair, she felt pretty safe on the advances front, as Ian had been very introverted since they had come back from the pub. He’d made an effort while they were out, and even tried to prolong things by getting another round of drinks after Martin had left. But by the time they were in the car, he had gone very quiet, and since then had only spoken if he needed to. She knew the symptoms. It was pathetic really. He pretended everything was all right, but bottled up all of his worries because he was afraid of appearing weak. The reality was that, if he actually opened up about his problems and talked about them, she would think more of him. Instead, he was going to stew on them, make himself and everyone else around him miserable, and achieve nothing until he admitted to himself that he did need to talk. In the mean time, Tanya would just have to guess what was troubling him.
Unfortunately, at the moment, there could be any number of things. Obviously there were the money worries, and she was pretty confident that was a large part of it. She knew he was also concerned about the building work at the cottages. Matthew and Patrick were doing the work for nothing at the moment. True, they’d been promised a share of the profits in exchange for that work, but until the houses were complete and – more importantly – sold, that was as good as thin air to them. If Ian couldn’t renegotiate their loans, there was a strong chance that the properties would be repossessed, which would mean the builders had worked for nothing. That wouldn’t sit well on Ian’s conscience. On the other hand, because Matthew and Patrick had no other income at the moment, if other work was offered to them, they could very well drop the cottages and move on. That would leave Ian with no way of finishing the building work off, which meant he wouldn’t have anything to sell. On that front, it was all a very fine balancing act. If he misjudged anything, the whole thing could fall over.
At the same time, she knew Ian was aware of how strained their relationship had become recently. That could well be preying on his mind. Martin’s presence might not have helped, though he seemed to have accepted things quite well. He’d been very friendly while they were at the pub. But that didn’t necessarily mean anything. She knew from experience how his mind worked. He knew that jealousy stemmed from insecurity and, to him, insecurity would be a sign of weakness. There could very well be an internal battle going on right now as he fought to control any such feelings. He would be reasoning with himself, methodically listing all the reasons why he shouldn’t feel jealous or insecure. Completely ignoring the fact that he could rationalise as much as he liked, but emotions and rationality rarely have anything in common. And while he did all of that, he would pretend that he wasn’t remotely bothered.
Whether it was any or all of these things – or even if there were other issues Tanya wasn’t aware of – right now she knew her husband was a boiling mass that was trying to keep itself sealed. Any time soon, one of two things was going to happen. If they were both lucky, he would have to crack the seal and let some of the steam out to ease the pressure. What was more likely was that there would be an explosion. As she sat back in her armchair and surreptitiously studied him, a small part of her wondered if the explosion might come in the form of a heart attack. She couldn’t help thinking that a coronary might solve a lot of problems. Having been a financial adviser for so many years, Ian was a great advocate of life insurance, and always felt it was important to lead by example.
On the TV a familiar face was droning on about something that she was convinced would have no impact on her life. Ian appeared to be taking an interest, but she knew he was miles away. She glanced in the direction of the hallway, wondering when Martin would be back.
He was another strange one. It crossed her mind that maybe she was attracted to odd blokes, but she quickly dismissed that. Her last fling had been with someone who she thought was very normal. Married, but bored like her. He’d been just ready for some excitement, and she’d been very happy to give it to him.
But Martin was quite different. He had been very flirty with her when they first met, and yet it seemed that as soon as she became more serious about the opportunities they could have together, his manner had changed. The term ‘all mouth and trousers’ came to mind, but she sensed it wasn’t that. Nor did it seem to be a concern about what Ian might think. There was something else, and that intrigued her.
Not that it was likely she would get to the bottom of it tonight. Even if Ian was asleep, she wouldn’t be stupid enough to try and get Martin into bed. That would have to wait until tomorrow. But she might be able to find out some more about him. She glanced at her watch. It was almost quarter to eleven. If she was going to find out some more, it wasn’t going to be a lot.
As if on cue, she heard a door close in another part of the house. She was surprised at how tense she suddenly felt.
“That must be Martin.” Ian was on his feet before she had a chance to react. It was almost as if he’d been waiting for their guest. “I’ll go and see if he wants a nightcap.”
On the one hand, this meant that she didn’t have to come up with any excuses to bring Martin in, Tanya realised. At the same time, it seemed strange that Ian should be so enthusiastic. All she could do was sit still and wait for them to come back to the living room. In the mean time, a member of the audience was asking for the panel’s views on the latest killings in Northern Ireland. Never having been to Northern Ireland, and with no intention of going, this question was yet another irrelevance to Tanya. Fortunately, she was saved from further boredom as Ian came back with Martin in tow.
“I’ll get the drinks,” he was saying. He gestured to an armchair. “Have a seat.” Picking up his empty tumbler, he turned to leave the room again. “Do you want a refill?” he asked Tanya.
She glanced at her glass, which was less than half full. Again she was aware of feeling uncomfortable about Martin. There was something not quite right. For once, she thought she’d play it safe. “I’m fine for now. I’ll see how I feel when I’ve finished this.”
When Ian had gone, she looked at Martin properly. His chair was angled slightly away from her, but he had adjusted his position so he was virtually face-on to her. She couldn’t help thinking how attractive he was. Yet there was nothing in his expression to give her any indication of what he was feeling – about her, or anything. Play it safe, she reminded herself.
“How did it go tonight?” she asked.
“Not a joyous reunion,” he said. His tone gave nothing away either. No disappointment, no upset, no irony. Nothing.
“How long is it since you last saw them?”
“I left in June nineteen seventy-four.”
“I suppose you’ve all changed a lot in that time.”
He smiled, but there was no humour in it. “Not as much as you’d think.”
She was still wondering how to react to that when Ian returned with two half full tumblers.
“I thought you said a small nightcap,” Martin sai
d as he took his glass.
Ian smiled back at him conspiratorially. It was a look that made Tanya feel uneasy. “That’s nothing. We’ll have that down us before we know it.” He sat back in his own chair and raised his tumbler as if giving a toast. “You might even want another before you go to bed. Cheers!”
It looked like Ian was settling in for a long night, which didn’t seem right to Tanya. He had an early start tomorrow. A meeting with another bank. And he’d want a clear head, so why was he talking about drinking more after this one?
Martin had raised his glass in response to Ian’s, and was smiling agreeably back at him. She felt distinctly excluded, and couldn’t understand why. After all, she was the one who had brought Martin into the house. She was the one who had offered him a place to stay. But now wasn’t the time to find out. It would inevitably mean arousing Ian’s suspicions, and while she had no qualms about hurting him, she wanted out of the marriage on her terms. Tomorrow morning, when Ian was out, she could talk to Martin and find out what was going on.
“Do you mind if I turn the telly off?” Ian asked her. Too politely? He must know the programme bored the pants off her.
“Not at all.” She smiled sweetly at him. Was that too much? She took a gulp of her gin and tonic. Or was she becoming paranoid? “I think I’ll leave you two after all. It sounds like you need some Man time, and I need my beauty sleep.”
It was an innocent enough comment, but almost guaranteed to result in protestations that beauty sleep was completely unnecessary in her case.
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