Antonio’s voice was world-weary, like an adult telling off a child. “Now,” he said as he stepped into the aisle. “We can do this the easy way or—”
I raised the gun, pointing it straight at him.
He stopped and we both stared at each other. His face had been so deeply burned into my memories, surfacing again and again in my nightmares, that it was a jolt to see it in reality.
“You’re going to shoot me? Really?” he asked.
I couldn’t speak. I nodded instead.
He took a tentative step towards me.
I raised my gun a little more, my hands shaking. “Don’t,” I warned.
“Don’t what? Don’t come any closer?” He took another step, more confident, now. “I gotta. Your uncle sent me all the way out here to bring you home.” Another step. And this time he wasn’t scared at all.
“I’ll shoot you,” I panted. I tried to stop the gun shaking but I couldn’t. “I’ll fucking shoot you.” I centered the sights on the middle of his chest. My finger tightened on the trigger but it felt as if it was made out of lead, welded in place, and secured by girders.
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t take his life as easily as he’d helped to take Annette’s. And that failure screamed in my ears in her voice.
Antonio took a final step towards me and then knocked the gun aside. And then he drew his arm back and cracked his hand across my face as hard as he could.
My head whipped to the side and I stumbled, cracking my head on a cupboard and bouncing back the other way. Pain hit me from both sides at once, my cheek and lip exploding into white fire, my head throbbing so hard I wanted to throw up just to release the pressure. I slumped down to my knees.
“I’ve been waiting a long time to do that,” said Antonio with great satisfaction.
I started to get to my feet, the whole room spinning.
Antonio put his expensive leather loafer on my shoulder and pushed, tumbling me backwards. I fell awkwardly against the bed and cried out in pain. Tears were in my eyes now, the pain in my head getting worse. The fight went out of me.
He reached down and grabbed my wrist in an iron grip. “C’mon,” he said tiredly. “Let’s get you in the car.”
And he turned towards the front of the bus and started walking. My arm took up the slack and then I was being dragged on my knees and ass down the aisle. I grabbed with my other hand, trying to find something to hang onto, but only found the handle of my purse on the bed. It came along with me, bouncing along the floor as he dragged me.
The tears were flooding my eyes now. Worse than the pain in my head and lip was the knowledge that I’d failed. All those years building a business, building a life—and he’d taken it away from me in a handful of seconds.
I was utterly broken. I’m going back to New York. I’m never going to see Bull again.
Antonio was ignoring me, now, looking around at the bus. “What the fuck have you been doing here, anyway? Selling yourself to cowboys? Is this where you entertain them?”
That got to me, cutting deep even through all the other pain. He and my uncle—they still didn’t even conceive of the notion that I could be strong, that I could do anything for myself.
“I tell you,” said Antonio, “once we get this trial over with, your uncle’s going to marry you off to the first eligible fuck he can find. Some guy who knows how to keep you in line.” He shook his head. “The first time you say one wrong word to that guy, Tessa, one wrong fucking word, he’ll beat the shit out of you. And I really hope I’m around when that day comes.”
I saw my new life stretching out ahead of me, a twisted, mirror-world version of my idyllic fantasy. A life in the city, with air conditioning and limos, far away from nature, with a husband I hated.
And the fight that had abandoned me came back.
I hauled my purse up my body and shoved my hand inside. I found what I needed, but it was no good to me while he was holding my wrist.
We were moving through the kitchen area, now. Another few seconds and it would be too late.
I searched the bag, going by feel because I was blinded by tears. Lipstick. Tissues. Pen.
Pen.
I pulled as hard as I could on the hand that was holding me, opening my legs at the same time, and wedging my feet against each side of the aisle. We came to an abrupt stop.
Antonio turned to me and glared. “Cut that out! You’re fucking heavy enough already!”
I lunged up and stabbed the pen as hard as I could into his wrist. It didn’t break the skin but it was painful enough to make him cry out and then kick at me. But he didn’t let go of my arm. I need him to let go of my arm!
I stabbed again and this time I got lucky and the pen actually drew blood. He kicked again, catching me in the shoulder, but I didn’t stop. I stabbed at him a third time—
He let go of my arm and drew back his leg to kick me. His lips drew back into a smile—he had an excuse, now. He could tell my uncle he beat the hell out of me because I’d tried to escape.
I shoved my hand into my purse again. My fingers closed around smooth plastic and I pulled it out.
I hadn’t been trying to escape; I’d just needed him to let go of my arm.
Both barbs of the Taser hit him square in the chest and the air crackled as 50,000 volts coursed along every nerve, like squirting a fire hose into a drinking straw. His back arched and he spasmed and danced. His suit pants darkened as his bladder let go. When the charge ran out, his legs turned to jelly and he started to fall.
“That’s for Annette,” I panted. “Motherfucker.”
I stepped cautiously over his groaning body. When I was nearly past him, he grabbed my ankle.
“He’ll find you,” he croaked. He spat blood, leaving little splatters of it on the refrigerator—he must have bitten his lip while he was thrashing around. “I called him. Others are coming.”
I drew back my leg and kicked him in the balls. He released my ankle and I ran down the aisle.
Outside, a rumble of thunder made me look up. It was dark—too dark. Clouds had pretty much blocked out the moon.
I looked at Antonio’s car. I could go back, get the keys out of his pocket, and move it so the bus was free to move, but then what? By the time I was back in the bus, Antonio would probably be on his feet.
Plan B, then. I ran to my Toyota, checked my Go Bag was in the back seat, and started the engine.
It caught for a second and then died.
Oh no. Oh, God, please not now. I tried it again. It gave an asthmatic cough and died. A third time, and this time it didn’t even turn over. Shit! Probably full of dust from all those trips up to the stables to see Bull.
I grabbed my bag and dived out of the car. From the bus, I heard Antonio moving about.
There was nothing else for it. I shouldered my bag and ran off into the night.
Lily
At first, I just ran. I needed to get far enough away that I’d be out of sight when Antonio came out of the bus. Fortunately, the darkness gave me cover. I headed down the dried-up creek bed, just like in my nightmare. I didn’t dare use a flashlight so I had to go by what I remembered of the terrain from my runs. Twice, I missed my footing and almost went flat on my face.
When I ran out of energy, I walked. After the first hour, I figured that Antonio wasn’t coming after me—not alone, at least. He’d said others were on their way. I needed to get the hell out of town before they arrived. I followed the creek bed south for three straight hours.
And finally, when my legs gave out, I stopped. And, sitting with my back against a rock, I cried.
All of my fears, all of my paranoia—it had all been real. They’d found me, somehow, and everything I’d built had been lost.
Oh, not my work. I’d taken precautions with that. I had enough money and fake identities in my Go Bag to get me out of the country. I had backups of my computer in the cloud—I could rebuild my business somewhere else. All of my careful planning had paid off, even if I’d
had to resort to Plan C.
But Bull? The idyllic future I’d imagined? That was in tatters. I loved him and I was never going to get to be with him. Tonight had proven exactly what I’d feared. It seemed like Antonio had duped Bull into giving him my address. What would have happened if Bull had been staying with me in the bus, tonight, or had gotten wise to Antonio and tried to fight him? He’d probably be dead.
I loved him. That’s exactly why I had to leave and never come back.
It wasn’t that I thought he wouldn’t go on the run with me. It was that I knew he would—he’d put himself in danger and I couldn’t make that mistake again. Annette had already paid the price for my selfishness. I’d made my choice a long time ago—I couldn’t face witness protection and a trial, not on my own. The only option was to be out on my own, where I could stay free without hurting anyone.
Free. Funny how it didn’t feel very free, at the moment.
Mexico, I decided. I’d go to Mexico. I already had guaranteed customers there and the mob wouldn’t dare invade cartel turf, even for me.
There was another roll of thunder and the rain started to fall, drops as big as silver dimes splatting into the dust all around me. I knew I needed to get a fire going. I picked up some dried-up twigs and started to try to build a campfire, like Bull had showed me. But too late, I realized I had no way to light it. And I had changes of clothes, but nothing warm or waterproof. My Go Bag was meant for road trips and airports, not surviving out in the wild.
I didn’t belong out here. I never had and never would.
I pulled out one of my burner phones and dialed Bull.
Bull
I was pacing the police station lobby. Calahan was in an interrogation room with Antonio, but he was refusing to talk until his lawyer got there and Calahan wouldn’t let me soften him up with my fists.
My phone rang and I had it to my ear before the first ring had finished. “Lily?”
I heard her swallow. A pitiful little sob. “Bull?” she whispered.
I closed my eyes and felt my heart swell with relief. She’s alive! I tried to keep my voice calm but it was thick and fractured with emotion. “Where are you?”
“I’m leaving,” she said. “I’m okay. But I’m leaving. This is to tell you goodbye.”
I gripped the phone so hard the casing creaked. “No.”
“Bull—”
“Lily—”
“No, listen. For once in your”—her voice cracked and she had to gasp for breath—”for once in your goddamn life, just listen.” She swallowed. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. But I told you I couldn’t be with anyone and I was right. I have to go away, where they can’t find me again.”
“I can stop them! I’m with the FBI guy—we can fix this!” I was panting with fear, now. I knew I was about to lose her forever. “I love you!”
“I love you, too,” she whispered, and my heart felt like it was going to explode. “But this isn’t some movie where you can ride in and save me.”
I thumped the wall, leaving a dent in the plaster. “Let me try!”
“No. I made that mistake once.” She was sobbing, now. “You know me, Bull. I’m not the schoolmarm who needs saving, remember? I’m the goddamn saloon girl. I’ll be just fine on my own.”
“No you won’t,” I growled.
“No I won’t,” she allowed. “Goodbye, Bull.”
And she hung up. I called her back but she’d already turned the phone off.
Calahan stormed out into the lobby. “He’s still not talking,” he told me. Then he saw the phone in my hand. “Was that her? Where is she?”
I didn’t answer him.
I didn’t even know her—not really. Hell, I hadn’t even known her real name until a few hours ago. She wanted to leave and she was begging me not to follow her.
But the idea of losing Lily scared me more than anything I’d ever known.
I had to get her back. How?
“Bull?” asked Calahan.
I’ve never been much of a thinker. My whole life has been about the physical: fucking, drinking, getting thrown around on a horse. But, ever since Lily came along, all that stuff felt less important. The way she made me feel...that was the only thing that mattered. So maybe it was time to start using my head.
Where would she go? Think!
It came to me instantly. Mexico. Close enough to run to but out of easy reach of the mob and the FBI. And out of reach of me. She’d hidden from the authorities for years. What chance would I have?
If she went to the nearest border crossing, maybe I could intercept her in time. But my pick up was still at Calahan’s motel.
Calahan’s sedan, though, was sitting right outside the police station. And it was plenty fast.
“Sorry,” I muttered to Calahan.
He frowned. “About what?”
I slugged him right on the jaw. He went down hard on his ass. “Oh, you motherfucker,” he croaked.
I was already rifling through his pockets. I grabbed his car keys and ran for the door.
Lily
It took me several hours, two hitched rides, and God knows how many miles walking in the pouring rain to reach the border. By this point, I was so wet that there was no sense in trying to keep dry. I just trudged down the street with the rain soaking me to the bone, wondering if I’d ever feel warm again. The rain was really pounding, now, hitting the sidewalk and bouncing straight back up again to hit my legs. It was so heavy that it was difficult to see.
I knew that the best thing to do would be to get into Mexico and keep right on going, to put as much distance between myself and Gold Lake as I could. But the sun was coming up and I was so dog tired, I wasn’t going to make it further than the first hotel on the Mexican side.
“I don’t even care if it has roaches,” I said to myself. “I just want a roof.” I’d gotten so used to the drumming of cold rain on my scalp that it was difficult to remember life without it.
At this time in the morning, there was only a short line of cars waiting to cross into Mexico and the foot traffic entrance was completely clear. I could walk straight up to the border guards, show one of my fake passports and I’d be—
“Buenos fucking Dias,” said a voice as low as thunder.
I spun around, squinting through the rain. Bull was leaning against a wall, as wet as I was. The water was spilling down off the rim of his hat in a thousand little waterfalls. His shirt was plastered to his skin.
He looked amazing. He looked so good, so welcome, that my chest ached. But I shook my head and backed towards the border.
He took a threatening step towards me. “Don’t make me chase you, Lily,” he growled. “You know what happens when I catch you.”
I took one quick breath...and broke and ran, sprinting for the border post. Hot tears were prickling my eyes, mixing with the rain. If I could just get across, I could avoid all the pain. I could avoid saying goodbye. I could avoid—
A huge hand gripped the back of my blouse and lifted me a foot off the ground, then hauled me back. I gasped and kicked, spluttering against the rain. A second later, I was pushed up against the wall of an alley. The rain was lighter here, blocked by the alley’s narrow walls, and I could see properly again. I gasped and panted and looked up into Bull’s face.
“Now don’t you fucking move,” he told me.
I didn’t fucking move.
“I got a few things to say,” he growled.
I swallowed and nodded. I didn’t have much choice. I was sandwiched between his massive, hard body and the rough brick wall. I looked up into those clear blue eyes and saw that they were full of anger...and something else that made my heart skip beats.
I waited...but he stayed silent.
“Give me a damn minute,” he grunted. “I ain’t fucking rehearsed it.”
I nodded again.
“Okay,” he said. “Look. I love you.”
The way he said it made me suck in a little gasp of freezing air.
I’d never heard anyone be so certain of anything my entire life.
“You should have told me who you were. But now that I know, I want to be there with you.”
I shook my head. The tears were winding their way down my cheeks in silent, hot rivers. “I can’t let you do that.”
He slammed his hand into the wall beside my head. “Goddamn it, you selfish bitch! You don’t get to decide that!”
I blinked at him. Selfish? That’s what I’d been trying to avoid!
“You let me fall for you and then you decide for me I’m not allowed to be involved? I don’t fucking think so!”
I shook my head. “Bull, we’d have no life. Look at how I was, before you found me. Living in fear. Looking over my shoulder. Too scared to have friends in case my uncle catches up to me. We both could have died tonight! It’s no way to live.”
He nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “That’s why you’ve got to take Calahan’s deal. Testify against that bastard.”
My heart sank. It was exactly what I’d known he’d say. “Bull, that would mean going into witness protection. I’d never see you again.”
“You would if I went in with you.”
It took me a few seconds to process what he’d said. When it finally clicked, I just stared at him in amazement.
He nodded.
It couldn’t be true; I had to check. “You’d come with me?” I asked. “Bull, they’d move us away. They’d change our names. You have friends here and family. You’d never see them again—ever.”
He looked into my eyes and nodded again.
“I...can’t let you,” I whispered. In some ways, it would be even worse than letting him put himself in danger. It was totally—
I squeaked as he lifted me off the ground, his warm hands around my waist. He pinned me to the wall again with my feet kicking in the air. “Where do you get this idea,” he asked, “that you let me do anything?”
I stared down at him and slowly stopped kicking.
“I’m Bull,” he told me. “And I do what I want. And what I want is to be with you so either accept me or shoot me ‘cause I’m not going away.”
Texas Kissing Page 21