"I guess we get in line," said Charlie.
Alex nodded and the two walked to the end of the queue. They were surprised to find themselves directly behind Tinker, the cantankerous pub patron from Cockwaddle. He eyed them suspiciously. "You all ag'in?"
"We're friends of Mrs. MacGuffin," said Charlie
"Oh, aye, aren't we all? Place'll be overrun if word gets out."
"What's it matter to you as long as you get through?" asked Alex.
"Don't need a boonch o' filthy foreigners ruinin' the past as well as present is all. The good ol' days is where I'm goin'. When laf was fine an' noble."
"Where, I mean, when is that?"
"Middle Ages. Time o' glory and chivalry 'n sooch. When men were men and you could marry yur first cousin w'out so mooch as a blink of an eye. An' don't you even think of followin' me." As he said this waggled his finger at them in a threatening manner.
"We won't," promised Charlie.
After that they stood in silence. Just ahead of them in line was a group that loudly identified themselves as the local branch of the Clan Donnachaidh Society. They wore kilts and hoisted bottles of Scotch, having thought to bring an entire case to celebrate their relative good fortune. They were drunk and happy until, in the midst of singing Auld Lang Syne, one by one they burst into tears of remorse for friends and family not present.
"Is that Mrs. MacGuffin?" asked Alex incredulously. He was pointing to a motorcycle with a sidecar weaving its way between abandoned vehicles on the road towards them. Its driver was wearing goggles and a pink scarf but there was no mistaking their octogenarian hostess. She reached the end of the line and smiled and waved at those waiting there. Mrs. MacGuffin jumped off the bike with the same spryness that had surprised them before. She then pulled a sign from the otherwise empty sidecar seat and began pounding it into the dirt with a rubber mallet. The sign read, "No queue jumping. No place holding. Be polite. Wait your turn."
"Mrs. MacGuffin!" shouted Alex.
Mrs. MacGuffin turned around in surprise and spotted them with a smile. They were no longer at the end of the line. A busload of Mrs. MacGuffin's distant cousins from Skye had arrived, as well as a dentist from Dublin. The line had also moved, and they'd almost reached a small shrub Charlie had marked in his mind as a milestone.
"So glad to see you made it!" she said with genuine delight. "I was'na sure if there were flights still froom America!" She gave them both hugs and paused to beam at Alex. "Especially you, yoong lad, you've got a full laf to live." After giving the signpost a final whack, she straddled her motorcycle, revved the engine once, and patted the empty sidecar. "Well, come on then, the both of ya."
"But what about..." Charlie nodded to the sign, then to the somewhat disgruntled faces of those in line ahead of them.
"I have front-of-the-line passes," she said, then shouted to the others, "Don't you all fuss, you'll get through." Mrs. MacGuffin then turned back to Charlie and Alex. "Right then, you, young fella, in the side. Mr. Draper can ride on the seat wi' me."
A moment later they were racing past the relentlessly long line of temporal refugees. Charlie guessed there to be five thousand or more people waiting. He wondered how many had gone through and how many more would make it. "I'm amazed you aren't even more inundated," Charlie shouted, hoping to be heard above the din of the engine.
"Well, it's not like it's widely known," she shouted back over her shoulder. "And even of those that have heard, few believe it to be true. Based on the time it takes for people to go through, everyone here in line will make it. But, there'll come a time when there's those that won't. I daresay, if word got out far o'field, some that came might not be so civil as to wait their turn."
Several times before they reached the rise, Mrs. MacGuffin slowed or stopped to greet friends in the queue. Some petitioned her to jump ahead. She simply assured them they were safe and told them to wait their turn. Charlie wanted to ask how she decided whom to invite, but he suspected he knew the answer. There was no way to pick who would survive and who would not. Whoever showed up could get in line and as many as made it through before the end would survive. It was as fair as system as any. "So your father, he knew this would happen?"
"Oh aye," she said. "He was ne'r good at knowin' difference 'twixt could and should in science. Only after he'd built the device, did he realize its use was inevitable. It couldn'a be destroyed. As sure as Pandora's box, some way, someday it would be opened. He felt a might bit foolish then."
They breached the crest of the hill and saw again the massive nuclear cooling tower standing incongruously in the midst of the Highland dale. Now, with the fantastical storm clouds surging above and the weaving procession of people leading to its base, it seemed strangely to make sense. As visible threads of lightning danced across its top from the boiling sky, the tower appeared to Alex like an enormous peg, pinning down the circus tent universe that was threatening to blow away.
"So he built the time gate, as a means to escape?"
"Aye. Once you ken the true nature o' the cosmos, time travel is'nay hard." She then added with a wink, "At least if yur name's Rupert MacGuffin."
"And we really can't go back in time to stop this all from happening?" asked Alex. "I mean, I could go stop myself from listing it on eBay."
"Nae," she said firmly. "As I told ya afore, you can visit the past, even live yur laf there, but you canna change things you know to be true. Try and you will fail. You might even die."
As they drew close and entered the veil of its shadow, the awesome structure filled their sight. Mrs. MacGuffin parked the motorcycle at the bottom of the steps and dismounted. Charlie helped Alex out of the sidecar. The people in line stepped aside to let them pass. No one wished to risk offending the timegate's keeper, however amiable she might appear.
Entering the cavernous shell of the tower, they found the queue continued. Folks wound about the interior as if waiting for a ride at Disneyland. The inside was loud with the echoing voices of nervous pilgrims. Above all, was the persistent hum of the timegate ring suspended far above. The blue white halo filled the hollow structure with near daylight and the odor of time travel. Once again Charlie was struck by the smell of burnt toast, only now it hung thick in the air like ozone. The line continued up the interior steps and along the circling catwalks. Charlie felt a pang of fear that the aging structure might suddenly give way and send dozens of people plummeting to their deaths. At the very top, the line continued right out onto the platform. "Look!" said Alex, pointing eagerly. A family of three was ready to go. The father punched in a date at the control panel, then joined his family at the edge of the temporal diving board. Their daughter, who looked about twelve, was clearly terrified. Her father put his arm around her shoulders and all three covered their eyes. Someone shouted "Go already!" and they did. All three stepped from the platform and plunged through the ring below. They entered on one side and simply failed to exist on the other. Despite knowing what would happen, Alex blinked. Charlie glanced down at his sneakers, one nearly new, the other cracked with age.
"So that's it? We just a pick a date? Any date?"
"Well, the future would be a bit pointless tha knows. And if you dunna go far enoof into the past there's a chance you'll just have to go through again. There's soom here through a second time. I see you Robert!" Mrs. MacGuffin waggled her finger playfully at an elderly man who looked back sheepishly.
"Have you seen my younger self?" Robert asked hopefully.
"Already gone through," she said. "Make sure you go far enooff back yurself this tam."
"Tha's not so far now, m'lady" he said with a sad smile.
With Mrs. MacGuffin leading the way, they made their way up the long creaking superstructure. At one point they were forced to squeeze past actual circus clowns, in full greasepaint. Charlie couldn't imagine why they would be in costume, but there was no time to ask. Alex almost tripped over an enormous clown shoe and was forced to catch himself on the precarious railing. Charlie felt
self-conscious at jumping the line, but he saw little or no resentment on the faces they passed. Instead, there seemed mostly to be a palpable sense of relief. After all, he realized, what did they have to be resentful for? These people had won the fate lottery. Of all living humanity, billions around the world, they would make it. They alone had been chosen to be saved, even if they had no clue as to why.
They reached the platform and felt, for the first time, the waft of warm air emanating from the iridescent ring below. Evidently, the longer the machine was on, the more heat it generated. As before, the air occasionally crackled and Charlie noted a faint metallic taste on his tongue. He also heard a sound like distant wind chimes and felt the hair on his arms and neck stand up. None of these things made sense but that, he decided, made sense.
Mrs. MacGuffin held them back a moment as an older gentleman and his dog prepared to make the leap. The Labrador retriever had lain down and was refusing to move.
"So we can go whenever we want? We could go to Ancient Greece? Or to watch knights fight in Medieval England?"
"Technically, yes," said Mrs. MacGuffin. "Now, a lot of people get romantic notions like that, but I advise you to think about it very carefully. Wherever you go, you'll be spending the rest of your life there and the past is a lot less romantic when you have to live in it."
Finally, the man resorted to scooping the dog up in his arms and stepping off the edge. The dog panicked and struggled for a moment, then both were gone. A woman stepped forward to take her turn.
"Sarah, do you mind?" asked Mrs. MacGuffin. "I wanted my friends to go next."
Sarah, already nostalgic for the future present, was happy to spend a few more minutes there. She nodded and stepped out of the way.
At that moment Mrs. MacGuffin's cell phone rang. She answered it and said, "What? Oh dear. Well, then I suppose I'd better coom down." She then hung up her phone and said, "I'm sorry, but I've got to go. Good luck. Have a loovely tam, whichever one it is." With that she vigorously shook Charlie's hand, then leaned over and gave Alex a kiss on the cheek. The next moment she was gone, stomping her way down the steel steps to the tower exit below.
Suddenly abandoned, Charlie and Alex both became conscious of time. Those next in line watched them expectantly, as did dozens more from the stairs and catwalks. It was a momentous moment that would decide the rest of their lives, and yet it was a decision that needed to be made swiftly. "Where, er, when are we going to go?" asked Alex. He looked to Charlie anxiously, clearly wanting him to make the adult decision.
Charlie knew what he wanted to do. "I need to go back ten years."
"What? Ten years? That's not enough time."
Charlie had somehow managed to avoid thinking this through. Of course it wasn't, well, not for Alex anyway. "I need to go back to when my daughter was born."
Alex stared at Charlie in shock. "Are you..." he then stopped and considered his words carefully. "We'll just end up back here again!"
"I know," said Charlie, flustered. From the moment he'd learned about the timegate, he'd thought endlessly about going back to see his family again. He'd obsessed about it. Despite this, he'd never once thought how that would impact Alex. "Several times. Again and again. I don't expect you to understand, Alex. You don't know what it's like to have a daughter and to lose her."
"I know what it's like to lose a mother."
"And you could see her again too!"
Alex stared at Charlie. "How? From outside the window? Creeping about? You heard Mrs. MacGuffin, we can't change anything. We can't interact with people we knew. We'd just be hanging around, watching them, like ghosts."
Charlie reached out for him, but Alex flinched and drew back. "Alex..." Charlie said.
"Keep moovin'!" someone shouted.
"Every minute wasted, means people who dunna make it throo!" yelled a woman.
Charlie looked at Alex pleadingly. He didn't want to hurt him, but he couldn't just let go of his wife and daughter. He felt as if he'd been holding on to them for a year, dangling over a cliff, his arm aching in agony, only now able to pull them up. "I have a chance to see them live again."
Alex shook his head firmly and said, "That's not living."
With that he turned and ran towards the platform edge.
"Alex!" Charlie shouted and ran after him.
Alex never looked back. He simply reached the end of the diving board and leapt off into empty space. He then plummeted through the halo and was gone. Charlie halted himself at the edge of the precipice, flailing his arms to avoid carrying over the edge. Part of him wanted to follow, but part of him could not. "Where did he go?" he asked frantically of Sarah who, of course, had no idea. The others waiting, stared blankly at him as well. Charlie ran to the console and looked at the dials. He found the display vacant. There were no numbers, no dates selected. The system had reset. "What does that mean?" Charlie staggered back from the console and stared at the emptiness inside the glowing ring.
"Can I go?" asked Sarah tentatively.
Charlie, unable to answer, simply, walked past her. Those next in line stepped aside to let him pass. In a confused daze Charlie descended the rattling steps. For the second time in his life, every thought in his head, every inkling of who he was, had been vaporized.
On the platform far above, Sarah entered the date 'June 28, 1914', and stepped off into space.
Chapter 28
"I'll just take one last look..." – Mrs. Lot
They were buried side-by-side. Everyone told Charlie that the service was lovely, but he could see nothing lovely about it. It was a closed casket service and he knew why. Lisa's beautiful, soft face had passed through the hard windshield. The other driver had been killed as well. That was good, Charlie thought. The other driver was drunk. He could go to Hell.
After the service, friends and family had gathered at the house. Not his friends and family. They all belonged to Lisa and Faith. He had none of his own. A few colleagues from the agency showed up, the people who felt they should. There were no children. The parents of Faith's friends didn't want to shock them, to expose them to the 'idea' of death. Charlie couldn't blame them, he'd have done the same.
Someone had arranged for the catering and the flowers. Bill, the neighbour, tried to warn him about being "taken to the cleaners" by the funeral home. "They prey on grief" he explained. "They know you're in a weak place, and they overcharge for everything. They tried that with me when mom died. I mean, who needs a mahogany coffin for Christ's sake? You're just going to stick it in a hole to rot." Charlie punched him in the mouth. Bill got a bloody lip and lost a tooth. Charlie hurt his hand. It was good to feel pain. That was when everyone left. Charlie later settled with Bill for twenty-five thousand dollars, or rather his lawyer did. He knew he'd been 'taken to the cleaners', but he didn't care. Punching that idiot was worth it at the time, just to drive everyone away. After they'd left, Charlie sat alone on the ottoman in the living room, massaging his hand and trying to cry. It didn't happen. All he felt were sore knuckles.
A week later he did cry. It was when he let himself finally enter Faith's bedroom. He sat on her tiny pink bed, held her tiny pink socks, and broke into uncontrollable sobbing. After that, he couldn't leave the house or talk to anyone for days.
Everything Lisa or Faith had touched became a holy relic. He kept every drawing his daughter had done, every toy she'd played with. Most of all, he stared at the photographs. To Charlie, they were magical imprints of light that had once bounced off of their perfect faces. They were frozen fragments of time. He sat and stared at a picture of Lisa holding Faith at age two. Faith was wearing a yellow shirt with the words 'Mommy's Monkey' on it. He tried to imagine himself there, taking the picture, telling Faith to look up, and reminding Lisa to smile.
It was fully a month before he realized something was missing. Lisa's sister, Karen, asked about the letter Lisa had left. It had been there after the funeral, when the guests had arrived. For some reason Charlie hadn't read it. He hadn't
even touched it. He wasn't sure why. It was an obvious thing to do. Karen had asked him about it at the time, and he'd told her he'd look at it later. Later, it was gone. He hadn't even noticed. "It must be somewhere," Karen insisted. Charlie couldn't argue with her logic. Still, it wasn't on the table, where he'd left it. Nor was it on the floor. There'd been a lot of people in the house after the funeral, but it seemed like a strange, heartless thing to steal. Nevertheless, it never turned up again. "That's crazy," Karen insisted. She was upset that her sister's last words might be lost, but even more upset at Charlie's apparent ambivalence. "Don't you want to know what she wrote?"
"Of course," he said. "but it's gone, and it's not like I can go back in time to get it."
Chapter 29
"I think we're going in circles..." – S. Guatama
The line to the tower was growing now at twice the speed it was consumed. There was a nervous energy of those joining it. Would they get through in time? For now, the consensus seemed to be 'yes'. It felt, however, as if some sort of tipping point was approaching. The tipping point between hope and fear, order and chaos.
When Charlie exited the tower, Mrs. MacGuffin was nowhere to be seen. He jogged down the length of the line which, at its current stretch of three miles, took some time. When he reached the end of the line, he did not find her either. Instead, he found her motorcycle, its sidecar empty, abandoned in a ditch. On questioning those waiting nearby, he learned that some men had arrived in a black helicopter. They had accosted Mrs. MacGuffin and demanded that she go with them. She did so, peacefully. No one knew where. Someone said the men spoke strangely, but coming from the local Scots that had the effect of ruling out only other local Scots. Charlie turned and watched erratic lightning streak across the sky. It seemed the end of days was determined to look like the end of days. He'd only once felt this alone, this lost. He considered walking back to the front of the line. People might let him through, having seen him earlier with Mrs. MacGuffin, but they also might not. Besides, he decided, he needed time to think. So he joined the end of the line.
Chaos Theory: A Feel Good Story About the End of the World Page 25