He made his way into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, downing the entire thing in one go. Then he pulled out a box of crackers and a can of spray cheese and munched as he considered his mostly empty fridge. He really needed to hit the grocery store on Sunday. This was pathetic.
Morris opened his freezer, looking for something to pop in his microwave, and frowned. He hadn’t realized how much food Theo had given him over the months. Instead of processed potpies, there were homemade empanadas. No more crappy but fast burritos, instead there were neatly labeled single-portion casseroles and soups. It was amoral.
Somehow, despite the plan that this was just a fling, they were beginning to blend their lives together. Morris even had his second-favorite sketch pad upstairs tucked against Theo’s couch. Scowling, he dug through the freezer until he found a frozen pizza. Maybe it wouldn’t taste as good as one of Theo’s creations, but it was the principle of the matter.
Morris ate a few more crackers and cheese while the pizza baked, pondering the problem of Theo. Cassie came into the kitchen, pausing to stretch each hind leg before coming over to Morris. He scooped her up. “Why’d you let Daddy sit all day and not eat?”
She gave him her special patented look that said quite plainly he was an idiot. “Yeah, I know. I must’ve remembered to feed you, though, or you never would’ve let me alone.” He glanced at her food and water dishes and noted they were half-full. As long as no part of the bottom of the bowl was visible beneath the kibble, Cassie was happy. But let one glint of silver show, and she was convinced Morris was starving her.
She accepted his nuzzling attention for a whole three minutes before wiggling to be let down. Morris crouched down with a sigh. “Fine, walk out on me. That’s been happening a lot today.”
He glanced at the ceiling. He couldn’t remember hearing anyone move around up there, but then again, he’d been in the zone. Lincoln could’ve broken out his sax and Morris never would’ve known.
Restless, he looked in the freezer again. The cheese and crackers weren’t cutting it. He could heat up some of Theo’s tomato basil soup; that would be done before the pizza. He hesitated and then grabbed the carton. He was too hungry to be picky over principles. It was soup, not a life decision.
By the time he finished eating the soup, his stomach was happier and the pizza was steaming on the stovetop. Gooey cheese, pepperoni, sausage, and extra-thick crust. Maybe not as good as a fresh one from Ledo’s, but it would do. As Morris cut it, he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of a homemade pizza Theo would make. He bet it would be awesome, whatever it was, probably have eggplant on it and it would still be good.
Morris leaned against the counter and bit into his first slice. The roof of his mouth was instantly scalded and Morris dropped the slice, swearing as he reached for a paper towel to spit into.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Somehow, the pizza on the floor seemed like a perfect metaphor for the day.
His hand ached, his brain was short-circuiting, and he was not in a good place. Grumbling, Morris picked up the slice and tossed it into the trash, then wiped up the mess he’d made. He glared at the rest of the pizza, his appetite for junk food gone. He wanted something home-cooked and comforting. Despite getting his work done, his day had sucked. He’d been stressed and upset, replaying his argument with Theo every time he paused to think.
He missed Theo. Maybe it wasn’t too late to go upstairs and say hi. And maybe apologize. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was apologizing, because there was no way he could’ve gone off with Theo for the afternoon, but maybe he could’ve handled it better.
Morris glanced at his watch. 4:00 a.m. Yeah, definitely too late. Fuck.
He eyeballed the rest of the pizza and sighed, going back into his freezer. He was being an idiot for no reason. His stomach knew what it really wanted. Not long after, he was sitting down to hot spanakopita manicotti, yeast rolls, and a tall glass of sweet tea.
He was willingly eating spinach in the wee hours of the morning. If that didn’t say something for Theo’s influence over him, Morris didn’t know what did. But damn, it tasted good. Maybe a little change in his life wasn’t such a bad thing.
As he ate he considered the problem of Theo. First off, he had to admit this had gone far beyond a fling. He had to stop mentally dodging that. Even if they didn’t get to see each other as much as they wanted, feelings were invested, and that was part of the problem. His feelings had been hurt when Theo left the game. And instead of being an adult about it and talking to Theo, he’d sulked like a toddler.
Or maybe he’d sulked because he knew there really wasn’t much Theo could do about it. It was his job, and being a baby about it would solve nothing. Morris also had to accept Theo and Lincoln were a package deal. This was totally new territory for him. Morris wasn’t used to sharing his significant-other time with a dependent. Even if Lincoln was cool in his own right. He got it, but logic didn’t mean a damn thing to emotions.
Theo accused Morris of tuning him out. He hadn’t meant to, but Theo wasn’t listening, and Morris hated an argument and getting upset. He just hated it. And he didn’t have time for an argument then. Morris didn’t go into Theo’s restaurant and start shit about wanting time together while Theo was in the middle of dinner service. So why should he accept Theo coming to his work and doing it?
He dropped his head in his hands as he realized he was getting agitated again. He’d been playing it safe, keeping Theo at a distance, all because he was afraid of a repeat of his last relationship. And the entire time, Theo had been working his magic on him, getting Morris invested.
Morris closed his eyes against the ache in his heart. He’d fallen for the fool. Now he had to decide what the hell he wanted to do about that. He had to approach him in a way that wouldn’t start another confrontation. He had to marshal all his arguments so his emotions wouldn’t get in the way and stop his tongue. He had all the words running in his head, but he had to express them because Theo couldn’t read his damn mind. Maybe then, together, they could figure this relationship out.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
THEO TOSSED the ball toward the basket and cussed as it went wildly awry. He was totally off his game today. Basketball wasn’t soothing him like it normally did. Theo trotted after the ball, scooped it, and threw it a little too hard. It careened off the rim and bounced off toward the trees. Theo glared after it, his hand on his hip. This day was already setting itself up for epic suckage. On top of a whole week of suckage, from having to tell Erin it was time to go, to his argument with Morris. All it would take now to make his week complete would be for Lincoln to have a teenage meltdown.
Theo stalked toward the ball. Fuck it. He was going inside. It was too hot, sticky, and lonely outside by himself. He was only frustrating himself, and the tiny hope Morris would hear him and choose to come out to be sociable died. He could annoy Lincoln while he packed instead.
“Your concentration is all off this morning.”
Theo spun around at the sound of Morris’s voice, bristling from the distant tone. “Yeah, what of it?”
Morris leaned against the side of the house, his dreads caught up in a messy topknot that was too appealing. He wore the same black cargo kilt Theo had first seen him in and a tight tee with a Captain America symbol on it. Theo had never realized how sexy geek could be until he met Morris. And the look of hurt that crossed Morris’s face slapped Theo up short.
Theo pressed his lips together. Yep, he was an asshole. He’d been hoping Morris would come out, and the first thing he did was snap at him. Just fucking great. “Sorry.” He scraped a hand through his hair and scooped up the ball. “I’m cranky.”
Morris sighed, held out his hands for it, and Theo tossed it to him. This showed a willingness to stay and talk, the least he could do was hear him out.
Morris idly passed the ball back and forth in his hands, his brow lined. “I knew I should’ve come out to talk to you right away instead of holding off. But I did text you
I was sorry.”
Like hell he had. Theo had checked his phone several times throughout the day, and there hadn’t been one peep from the overgrown jerk. “No you didn’t,” he said in a flat tone.
Morris frowned and tucked the ball under his arm. He pulled out his phone, and then his expression fell. “I meant to,” he said in a plaintive voice. “It was on my to-do list.”
“I am not a to-do list.” Now he wasn’t just irked, he was offended. If Morris really felt that a relationship was a damned checklist, then he had a lot to learn. Even as Theo’s ego took the blow, he deflated. Morris had been saying from the start this was a fling. Theo should’ve listened.
“Of course you’re not. That came out wrong.” Morris dribbled the ball, his brows beetled together in a fierce frown. “Question for you. Say I came into your kitchen and told you to leave off the herbs you sprinkle over a plate or the goop you put on in a fancy pattern? What would you do?”
Goop? Theo glared at him. “That is not goop. It’s all a part of the presentation, both for the eye and the palate.”
“Exactly.” Morris jabbed a finger in his direction. “Exactly. The finishing details are important, and running off with a job half-finished isn’t what you do. I was in the zone, man, and up to my eyeballs in work that had to be done.”
Morris sure as hell had a roundabout way of getting to his point. Theo knew what Morris was trying to say, his guilty conscience had bugged him enough, but he wasn’t in the mood to have Morris rub his face in it. “I didn’t say they weren’t. I’m saying I swear Lincoln sees you more than I do.”
“That goes both ways, Theo. The other day, with the game, it could’ve waited another half an hour while we finished, and I’m not just saying that because Laila was disappointed. You were too, and to be honest, so were Lincoln and I. Whether you fired the employee that morning or when you got in, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference. Taking a short break for yourself isn’t a bad thing. And I think that was part of my issue yesterday. I was still irritated over that when you came in, and I took it out on you instead of talking about it.”
Theo wasn’t sure if that was an apology or not. “It’s not as easy as that. I can’t ignore multiple calls from Scottie.”
“I didn’t say ignore the calls. And I don’t think Scottie would’ve begrudged you half an hour.”
It was clear Morris had given this a lot of thought, and his words made sense, but Theo wasn’t sure he was entirely ready to let go of his mad. The problem was, any argument he played, Morris could turn right back around on him about yesterday. It was fucking aggravating. Theo pressed his lips together again, trying not to glare at Morris like a grumpy cat.
“I didn’t come out here to argue about it again.” Morris tossed the ball in the direction of the garage as he walked toward Theo. “I hate arguing. I came to apologize for my attitude yesterday. I overcommitted myself and I was frustrated and tense on top of my irritation. I should’ve stopped long enough to at least look at you when you took the time to see me.”
Well, hell, how was he supposed to remain in a bad mood when Morris had such a sincere look in his eyes and looked sexily delectable to boot? And he’d apologized first, which he really didn’t have to do.
Morris paused in front of him, searching Theo’s face. “My defenses go into overload when I feel like someone’s treating my job like it’s a hobby. I should’ve given you the benefit of the doubt.”
Theo had not been treating it like a hobby. But as soon as the protest leaped into his mind, he forced himself to reevaluate it. Sometimes it was easy to overlook Morris’s job because he didn’t have an office and because comic book artist seemed so cool. Theo tried to approach it from Morris’s perspective. If Theo had been home, testing out a new recipe for a big dinner or for a new special at the bistro, and Morris came in midprep begging him to go out and not letting it go, he would’ve gotten pissed too.
If Morris could apologize, then Theo could too. It had been thoughtless, and he could see why Morris would think he didn’t take Morris’s job seriously.
“Yeah, well, I’m also sorry. If you’d come into my kitchen when I was slammed and tried to guilt trip me into taking off for a few hours, I would’ve gone off too.” Theo reached up to cup Morris’s face. “I guess you react to guilt trips about the same way I do. At least I’m not the only one who can be surly and snappy.”
“I have my moments, not many, but I do have them.” Morris turned his head and kissed Theo’s palm. “Does this mean we’re good now?”
Theo stroked his fingers along Morris’s cheek and then let his hand fall. “Yeah. I guess it means we have some baggage to work through.”
Especially if they went any further with this relationship, and Theo really wanted them to go further. He had fallen so hard for Morris there ought to be an imprint of his body in the ground. He could really see himself spending the rest of his life with him. It was a little scary how fast his feelings were moving.
“We have baggage? Both of us?” Morris’s eyebrows came together. “What’s my baggage?”
“I think someone did a number on you in the past. Whoever it was who made you feel like you have to apologize for who you are or suspect someone’s always looking to change you.” Theo didn’t want to change Morris in the slightest. He wanted the chance to be with him, spend time with him.
Morris looked surprised. “I do that?”
“Sometimes. Most of the time you come off as crazy confident in what you’re doing and content with who you are, but when you get defensive about it, you don’t take any prisoners.” A fact Theo would have to remember not to take personally, and maybe given time, Morris would relax the knee-jerk reaction.
“Yeah, there was somebody, and believe me, I dropped him fast once I figured out his angle. I think it’s less him and more everyone else, my family especially,” Morris said with a thoughtful look. “I guess I get really tired of having to convince people I’m happy with my life the way it is. I don’t need an intervention or saving or whatever.”
He was happy with the status quo, which meant Morris wasn’t looking for any long-term engagements. Theo’s heart sank. A point he had made more than once, and Theo hadn’t wanted to listen. Theo shouldn’t have allowed his heart to get this far into it. ’Cause the thought of Morris walking away now seriously hurt. “Yeah, I think I’ve gotten that picture,” he said in a soft voice, his shoulders slumping.
“Except, I’m forced to admit recent changes to my freezer were very welcome in the wee hours of the morning last night,” Morris said with a laugh. “So I guess not all change is bad.”
“Yeah?” Theo straightened with a smile, damn his eternal hope. He had to get Morris to see they were perfect for each other.
“You had me eating spinach and soup instead of frozen pizza. I was a bit annoyed about it until I realized how ridiculous that was. It’s actually nice that you think of me that much.” Morris shook his head, and then his expression turned serious. “And speaking of baggage, I think yours is abandonment, being shut out and ignored.”
It made him sound like a frightened kid, but there were times over the last year when he’d felt exactly like that. When Morris had turned away, completely tuning him out to concentrate on his work, it had slashed deeply in a way he couldn’t control. He had to find a way to deal with his siblings’ silence and shunning, for his own sake as well as Jill and Lincoln, but he didn’t know where to start.
“Yeah, I guess so.” Theo looked away, and Morris sighed, sliding his arms around him. Theo laid his head against Morris’s chest. Couldn’t the man see how they fit together, just clicked? Even when they were both being jerks Theo still wanted to be with him, and apparently Morris felt the same or he wouldn’t be here.
“So we managed to hit every single one of each other’s sore buttons yesterday, didn’t we?” Morris said, setting his cheek on top of Theo’s head.
“Seems like it.” Theo tightened his arms around Morris. “So I
say we’ve got our quota of arguing in for the year. Let’s not do this again for a long time.”
“Works for me.” Morris held him a little longer until the sticky heat of the morning forced them to part. “Look, we have to decide if we’re really going to make a go at this or not,” Morris said, his gaze calm and steady.
“Of course we’re making a go at this.” The little spurt of anxiety Theo felt made his voice higher than he wanted. Great, now he sounded pathetically panic-stricken too. “I thought we already decided that.”
“Maybe we did, but let’s be honest, neither one of us really committed to it. We said we wanted more time together and went on our merry way doing what we do. We pass each other by every now and then, wham, bam, thank you, sir. We send texts, but not really much more than that. And we let everything and everyone interrupt us. I know some of it’s inevitable, but—”
“What are you saying?” Theo interrupted, feeling miserable down to his toes as Morris kept rambling. He was going to get the friendship suggestion. He did not want to hear the fucking “let’s be friends” spiel. “You want off this crazy train life of mine?”
“No!” Morris gave him an exasperated look. “Just because I like my life the way it is doesn’t mean I’m not open to change. And last time I looked, you are a part of my life.”
“Dammit, Morris, what are you saying?” But before he answered, Theo continued on in a rush. “I know you’re worried I’m going to suddenly decide I don’t want you for you, but the truth is I’m fucking crazy about you, Morris. All those things you think would turn me off are the things I….” Theo paused before the wrong L word could pop out. “That I really like about you. I like your geek/nerd love. I like the way you dress and look. The crazy number of hours you put into your work. Okay, that part may be frustrating, but I get it, because I love what I do too, and I have nothing but respect for someone else who’s doing what they love.”
Theo hesitated again. He hated being that pushy, insecure lover. It was a role he’d never played before, but he didn’t know how to quiet the anxiety within him. “You keep saying this is a fling, and if that’s all you want out of it, I’m not going to push you for more, but you need to know it’s more than that for me.”
A Little Side of Geek Page 26