‘We have a lot to be thankful for this year,’ she began. ‘I’m so grateful to have the whole family together, and especially to have my two boys home. So I’m damned if I was going to miss the opportunity to have Thanksgiving with all of you. Ethan,’ she said, looking at him, ‘we’re so proud of you, honey, but you do scare the bejaysus out of us sometimes.’ Everyone laughed, while Ethan ducked his head, smiling shyly. ‘It’s good to have you home safe, sweetheart. And Tank,’ she said, turning to him with a warm smile. ‘You’ve made our Hannah so happy and we’re all looking forward to you becoming a part of our family shortly. We couldn’t have been blessed with a better son-in-law.’ Romy was amazed to see Tank surreptitiously wipe away a tear. ‘And we’ve forgiven you for that time you broke her wrist,’ Laura added drily, causing more laughter to erupt. ‘Romy,’ she continued, ‘it’s wonderful that you and Kit have found each other again, and I hope we’ll be seeing a lot more of you. You were always the nicest of his girlfriends,’ she added with a cheeky grin at Kit.
‘I won’t argue with that,’ Kit said, smiling at Romy.
‘Neither will I, ’ Ethan mumbled.
‘Or me,’ Hannah chimed in.
‘See,’ Kit said to Romy, ‘it’s unanimous. All my family loves you.’
‘As for me, I’m eternally grateful for this man,’ Laura continued, touching Colm’s hand, ‘who loves me too much to see my flaws. And I’m delighted to hear that crushed potatoes are the latest thing, because I’m damned if I can make whipped ones.’
They all raised their glasses in a toast as Laura’s little speech came to an end.
Looking around the table as the chatter resumed, Romy marvelled at how much things had changed for her since she’d met Kit again. It had only been a little over a week, and already her life was opening up in all sorts of unexpected ways. She didn’t really believe in fate, but she couldn’t help wondering if they were meant to be together. Could it be that she’d found ‘the one’ all those years ago and they’d just lost each other for a while? As she watched Kit, she tried to assess her feelings for him, doing her best to take Luke out of the equation. She had loved him so much once – he was the only person she had ever been properly in love with. But that was a long time ago, and though they still had a connection, she felt in ways he was a stranger to her now. It was easy to fall back into loving him as a friend, but could she be in love with him again? Right now, she just knew that this felt good. Being with Kit and his family tonight she had a powerful sense of belonging. And try as she might, she couldn’t take Luke out of the equation, because he was part of it. He was part of her and Kit, and he could be part of this family – and she wanted that for him. Maybe she couldn’t love Kit again the way she once had. But she knew that she would like to try.
By the time they were ready to leave, Romy felt cocooned in the soft cosy blanket that the warmth and conviviality of the evening had woven around her. While Kit called a taxi, she excused herself to go to the loo. She had just reached the top of the stairs when she heard Ethan and Hannah whispering on the landing.
‘I thought now that he’s home things would be different,’ Hannah hissed. ‘I thought he’d finally be forced to man up and get real.’
‘I know,’ Ethan whispered.
‘I didn’t think he’d go straight out and get himself another Lauren substitute.’
‘Do you think she knows?’
Romy froze, the warm glow she had been bathed in moments before turning to ice. Suddenly, she just wanted to go home. She was about to turn around and go back downstairs, but it was too late – Hannah had seen her, and Ethan turned around to see what his sister was looking at. If Romy had been in any doubt that they’d been talking about her, their blushes and shifty looks erased it.
‘Oh, hi,’ she said awkwardly, stumbling on the top step. ‘I was just …’ she pointed towards the loo.
They both nodded at her before going back downstairs, leaving Romy dumbfounded on the landing, her heart pounding. Why were they so hostile to the idea of her and Kit being together? She couldn’t understand it. Their friendliness earlier had seemed sincere. But they thought she was like Lauren – and they had made their feelings about Lauren abundantly clear.
On the way home in the taxi, she broached the subject tentatively with Kit. ‘Am I like Lauren?’
He frowned, appearing surprised by the question. ‘No. Not at all.’
‘I don’t mean looks-wise.’
‘You’re not like her in any way.’
Romy thought about what she had overheard. Maybe it wasn’t that they thought she was like Lauren personally, but that they suspected she had the same sort of relationship with Kit. Perhaps they knew that Kit was involved in BDSM and disapproved of his lifestyle. If they thought she was taking Lauren’s place as his submissive, that could explain their concern.
‘Ethan and Hannah don’t seem thrilled about the idea of us getting back together.’
‘That’s crazy. They all love you!’
‘But that’s just it. I don’t think it’s me they have a problem with. It’s us.’ She waved her hand between them.
‘They just don’t get us,’ he said, putting an arm around her and pulling her into his side. ‘No one ever did, remember? So sod ’em. It’ll be you and me against the world, just like it used to be.’
She smiled, but she still felt uneasy, her sense of wellbeing evaporating. They weren’t teenagers anymore. She didn’t know if she liked the idea of them against the world. Tonight it had felt like the world was on their side, and it had been a good feeling.
Chapter Twelve
‘So how’s Kit working out?’ Lesley asked Romy, as they settled in for another Saturday spinsters’ night in.
‘Great!’ Romy said, handing her a glass of wine. ‘Cheers!’ They clinked glasses and Romy sat on the couch beside Lesley. ‘Though he hasn’t been around that much. He seems to have a pretty active social life already. He goes out a lot at night and doesn’t come back until all hours – if at all.’ Romy was disappointed that Kit wasn’t around more. When he moved in, she’d imagined they would be like flatmates – sharing a bottle of wine in the evenings, having cosy chats and listening to music, getting together for coffee or supper – only with the added advantage of not actually having to share a flat. But it had been over a week now and she had seen very little of him.
‘Lucky him,’ Lesley said sulkily.
‘You can’t complain. You have a great social life. Though this is your second spinsters’ Saturday night in a row. You’d want to watch yourself or you’ll end up like me.’
‘Well, I’ve decided to give the dating website a rest for a while. I had the most depressing date ever last night.’
‘Oh God! That must have been bad. Worse than the guy who wanted you to wee on him?’
‘Yep.’
‘Worse than the one who dragged you all over Galway until he found a pub with a three euro lunch and then moaned about the standard of the food?’
‘Worse than that. Worse than the guy who made me his wingman while he stalked his ex all night.’
‘I still think he sounded right up your alley,’ Romy said.
‘Yeah,’ Lesley grinned. ‘I must admit that was kind of fun. And if he’d let me take the lead, she’d never have rumbled us and that whole thing with the cops could have been avoided. But would he listen?’
‘Well, last night’s guy must have been a real nightmare to top that lot. What was wrong with him?’
‘Nothing. That’s the depressing part.’
‘Huh?’
‘He was very nice.’
‘But …’ Romy prompted.
‘He’s solvent, has a good job and a lovely apartment in Sandymount. He’s nice looking – not gorgeous, but attractive, you know – and he dresses well. Good shoes.’
‘Good shoes are important,’ Romy said, nodding.
‘He was good company, easy to talk to, has a good sense of humour. A proper sense of humour,
not one of those I’m-a-looper-and-all-my-friends-think-I’m-crazy idiots who’ll laugh at any old shite, where you get a pain in your face pretending to find them as hilarious as they think they are.’
‘He sounds great!’
‘Yeah, he was really nice. We had a lovely time,’ Lesley said, sounding really pissed off about it.
‘So, what happened? Did he have his dead mother stuffed and sitting up in an armchair when you went back to his place?’
‘Nope, there was nothing. He’s just a nice, decent bloke.’
‘What’s your problem, then? He sounds ideal.’
‘That’s just it. There I was, out with this really nice, normal guy for once, having a perfectly nice time. But there was just … nothing.’
‘No spark?’
‘No. None. And it just made me think, what are the chances, you know? How likely am I to come across the love of my life on some dating website? It took me long enough just to find someone normal. It’s so random and against the odds, and it was just … depressing.’
‘Well, maybe you need to give it some time.’
‘But I don’t want to. I want to feel the spark! I don’t want someone to grow on me like fecking fungus. I don’t want to organise myself into falling in love. I want it to happen.’
‘I know what you mean,’ Romy sighed.
‘I guess meeting Michael just brought it home to me. He’s the guy I’ve been looking for the whole time – on paper anyway. All this time I’ve been so focused on just meeting someone nice and normal and reasonable looking – as if that’s all it takes. And then I met him and I realise that isn’t enough.’
‘It doesn’t help that you’re working from home now,’ Romy said, refilling their glasses. ‘Maybe you need to widen your social circle.’
‘But how? And don’t say evening classes.’
‘Well, don’t look at me. I’m hardly the one to give advice. The last action I got was at David’s Hallowe’en party.’
‘No progress with you and Kit?’
‘No. Like I say, I’ve hardly seen him since he moved in. I’m surprised he seems to have got a social life together here so quickly. I mean I don’t think he kept in touch with anyone while he was in New York, so he’d be starting from zero.’
‘Ah, well, he has certain advantages, doesn’t he?’ Lesley said, tapping her nose. ‘He’s probably hooked up with the local BDSM community.’
‘You think he could have found them so soon?’
‘Well, there can’t be many of them around, can there?’
‘I have no idea,’ Romy said, taking a sip of her wine. ‘Maybe there are loads of them. Or none. Do you think there even is a local BDSM community?’
‘Oh, I’m sure there is,’ Lesley said. ‘Ireland isn’t as backward as it used to be. And with the internet, it’s so easy to find where your own kind hang out. Hey, why don’t we Google it? Where’s your laptop?’
‘Danny will be here soon,’ Romy said, glancing nervously towards her laptop in the corner of the room. ‘We can’t be looking at this stuff when he comes.’
‘Well, get it quick then,’ Lesley said, waving her hand at Romy impatiently.
Romy grabbed the laptop and brought it over to the sofa. She put it on the coffee table and moved the mouse around to bring it to life. ‘What will I put in?’ she asked.
‘Try BDSM Dublin.’
Romy dutifully typed into the search engine, and, to her surprise, there were several results. As well as a site devoted to BDSM in Ireland, there was a blog and links for a couple of clubs as well as the inevitable sex shops, escort agencies and dominatrix services. There was even a website for a dungeon for hire.
‘Well?’ Lesley said, edging closer to look at the screen. ‘Open that one,’ she said, pointing to the main website for the BDSM community in Ireland.
For minutes, they sat in silence, reading the screen as Romy clicked through the pages. There were forums and discussion boards and information on meet-ups in Dublin.
‘They call their meet-ups “munches”,’ Lesley commented. ‘Sounds rude, doesn’t it?’
‘I can’t believe there’s so much of this going on in Dublin,’ Romy said.
‘Maybe you should become a member – find out more about it,’ Lesley suggested. ‘They seem like a friendly bunch.’
‘Uh-uh. No thanks.’ Romy added the site to her favourites so she could read it more thoroughly later. Then she clicked on the blog, which turned out to be by a Dublin couple, writing about their dominant/submissive relationship. Romy added that to her favourites too.
‘Give us a look at that dungeon,’ Lesley said.
Romy duly clicked on the link and they both gazed in silence at the screen as they read through the descriptions of the accommodation and looked at the photographs of the various equipment provided.
‘Wow, I wish I’d known about this place when I was organising the Christmas party at my last job,’ Lesley said. ‘I’d have loved to have had a go at my boss on that rack.’ She pointed to a particularly tortuous looking piece of apparatus.
‘It looks medieval,’ Romy said, shuddering. She shut the laptop down, replacing it on the table in the corner.
‘So there you have it,’ Lesley said. ‘There’s loads of this stuff going on in Dublin. Kit’s probably out there shoving his butt plug up someone’s arse as we speak.’
‘Ugh!’ Romy giggled, almost spitting her wine. ‘But he wouldn’t use that actual butt plug, would he?’ she said, sobering up. ‘I mean surely you wouldn’t use the same butt plug on different girls? It’s not very hygienic.’
‘I don’t know,’ Lesley mused. ‘But these are all questions we can ask May later. I was in with her today, and I told her you needed some advice. She said she’d call over tonight if she’s not too … busy.’
‘Busy bonking Frank, you mean. Well, she’d better not come while Danny’s here.’
‘True. That’s not a side of you he wants to see.’
‘That’s not a side of me, full stop.’
‘But maybe it could be – with the right training. May was very excited when I told her you were interested in BDSM. She said she’s got loads to show us.’
‘Great!’ Romy rolled her eyes.
Just then the doorbell rang. ‘Here’s Danny,’ Romy said, getting up to answer it. ‘Not a word of this while he’s here, okay? And don’t mention Paul – he’s still pining.’
‘He should come over to our side,’ Lesley grinned. ‘He’s a terrible loss to womankind, and he’s way too lovely for a man to appreciate.’
‘Hi, Lesley,’ Danny said as he followed Romy back into the sitting room. ‘Is my godson asleep?’ he asked Romy as he handed her a bottle of red.
‘Yes, he is, touch wood,’ Romy said, tapping her forehead with her knuckles.
Lesley poured wine into the empty glass on the coffee table and handed it to him. ‘Drink up! ’ she said, raising her own glass to him. ‘You have some catching up to do.’
‘So what are we talking about?’ he asked as he took an armchair opposite them.
Lesley’s eyes gleamed and she threw Romy a mischievous look. ‘Men,’ she said. ‘What else?’
‘We talk about lots of other things,’ Romy said indignantly.
‘So what have you been up to, Danny?’ Lesley asked. ‘Any new man in your life yet?’
‘No,’ he said. ‘You?’
‘No. All the good ones are taken – or gay.’
‘I won’t argue with that. Or taken and gay.’
‘Lesley’s taking a break from dating,’ Romy told him. ‘She was traumatised by a successful date.’
As they got mildly drunk together, they bemoaned their collective lack of anything resembling a love life.
‘God, if we could even get one man between us,’ Lesley wailed.
‘We could do a time share,’ Romy said, giggling.
‘If you nab Kit, you’ll have to share him,’ Lesley said. ‘One for all and all for one!’ she excla
imed, sloshing wine from her glass as she jerked it up in salute.
‘You’re not – are you?’ Danny asked. ‘Nabbing Kit.’
‘I don’t know,’ Romy said, a little needled that he seemed so shocked by the idea. ‘Maybe.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah … what’s wrong with that?’
‘Nothing. Just – you can do better.’
‘Have you seen Kit?’ Lesley said, looking askance at Danny. ‘He’s no slouch in the looks department.’
‘I know he’s very good-looking, but isn’t he a bit … well, thick?’ Danny said with an apologetic wince.
‘No!’ Romy frowned. ‘That’s mean.’
‘He was a bit thick in school,’ Lesley said.
‘He just wasn’t very academic,’ Romy replied. ‘He’s clever in other ways. He has street smarts. He was very successful at his job in New York. And it turns out he’s good with his hands too. He put up some shelves for May during the week and she’s been singing his praises to me ever since.’
‘Who’d have thought? But you already knew he was good with his hands, didn’t you?’ Lesley said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
‘No, I never – we never … did anything back then.’
‘What? You were glued to each other for two years.’
‘But it was just snogging and … teenage stuff. We didn’t—’
‘You’re saying you never shagged Kit?’
‘No. Never.’ Except, of course, that time in the cupboard last Hallowe’en. She caught Lesley’s eye and she could tell she was thinking the same thing.
‘Well, I can totally see the two of you getting back together,’ Lesley said supportively. ‘And if you don’t, maybe I’ll have a shot at him myself.’
‘You can’t do that. He’s my ex, therefore he’s officially off-limits.’
‘That’s the rule,’ Danny nodded in agreement.
‘But that was years ago,’ Lesley said. ‘There must be a statute of limitations on those embargos.’
‘Nope. If I can’t have him, no one can. In perpetuity. Now let’s not talk about men anymore. That’s not what spinsters’ night is about.’
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