‘No, she’s thrilled,’ Kit said, stuffing a giant bag of nappies into the van. ‘Anyway, it’s sort of her job. She’s practically his granny now, isn’t she?’
‘What with you being his dad and all?’ Romy said, laughing as she handed him another holdall.
‘Exactly,’ Kit said, tucking the bag in among the others. ‘God, does he really need all this stuff?’
‘I’m afraid so,’ Romy said, shutting the doors. ‘Your son is very high maintenance.’
‘Huh! Well, he doesn’t get that from his mother,’ Kit said, smiling at her.
‘No, no one’s ever accused me of being high maintenance. It must come from your side of the family.’ Though they were joking around, Romy felt a little pang as she went back into the house to get Luke. It made her sad that she would probably never know in what ways Luke took after his father, and his story would always remain incomplete. She pushed the thought aside as she locked the door behind her and carried Luke down the steps.
‘Now,’ she told him as she strapped him into his car seat, ‘we’re going to leave you with your Granny Masterson for the weekend, and we’re going to pick up your Uncle Ethan.’ She kissed him on the head, giggling as he grasped at her hair so she had to prise it gently out of his hands when she pulled back.
Kit was already in the passenger seat and she jumped in beside him. ‘Do you think maybe it’s too early to call over?’ she asked, glancing at the clock on the dashboard. It was only eight o’clock. ‘Maybe we should wait until a bit later.’
‘No, it’ll be fine. I told them we’d be dropping Luke off first thing. We still have all the gear to pack up, and we want to get down to the house as early as possible.’
‘True.’
‘It’ll be okay. Mom and Dad are early risers anyway.’
‘What about Ethan?’
‘Well … apparently he was going out on the piss with a bunch of his old college friends last night, so who knows what shape he’ll be in – or whose bed, for that matter.’
‘Oh. Maybe he won’t even want to come. I mean he is supposed to be having some R&R, isn’t he?’
‘No, he’s really keen to come and help with the house. Don’t worry – whatever state he’s in, we’ll scrape him up and throw him in the van. He can thank us later.’
‘Okay, then,’ Romy said, starting up the engine. ‘Let’s get this show on the road.’
‘Boy, am I glad to see you two,’ Laura said when she opened the door, a beleaguered expression on her face as she waved them in. She smiled down at Luke, who had fallen asleep in the car. ‘Do you want to leave him somewhere quiet?’ she asked.
Romy nodded.
‘You can put him in here,’ Laura said, showing her into the sitting room, while Kit started unloading Luke’s stuff from the van.
‘I know it looks like a lot,’ he said, when he had put everything in the sitting room, ‘but that’s just because it is.’
‘Well, come on through to the kitchen,’ Laura said. ‘We’re all in there.’
‘Is Ethan up?’ Kit asked.
‘He is,’ Laura said softly, ‘but he has … guests. We have a bit of a situation on our hands.’ She pursed her lips. ‘It’s a Mexican standoff.’
Romy wondered what she meant as they followed her down the hall. In the kitchen, they found Ethan serving breakfast to a pouty girl with long dark hair who was sitting at the table. She was wearing a pink-tinged T-shirt that was far too big for her and clearly belonged to Ethan, and nothing else, her legs and feet bare under the table. Ethan stood beside her, shaking cereal into a bowl and placing it in front of her, while a pretty blonde in a similarly outsized T-shirt and a pair of Ugg boots paced around the kitchen talking into a mobile and darting anxious glances at them both.
Ethan looked up and smiled as they came in. He was dressed in jeans and a thick wheat-coloured jumper, and he looked fresh-faced and totally edible, his hair sticking out in every direction. ‘Hi, this is Sarah,’ he said to Romy, indicating the dark-haired girl, who looked up unsmilingly and acknowledged them with an infinitesimal raising of her eyebrows. Kit evidently already knew her, nodding hello. ‘Sarah, Romy. And that’s Fiona,’ he said, indicating the other girl. She gave them a little wave, mouthing, ‘Hi’.
‘I’ll just go and put Luke’s things away upstairs,’ Laura said. ‘I’ll leave you to it.’ She bustled off, seeming anxious to get out of the kitchen.
‘Say when,’ Ethan said to Sarah as he began pouring milk onto her cereal.
‘I don’t have time for breakfast,’ she said, shoving the bowl away from her. ‘I’ll be late for work as it is.’
‘It’s the most important meal of the day,’ Ethan said, sliding the bowl back in front of her. ‘You should eat something.’
‘I’m going to call a cab,’ she said, pushing away from the table and hitting a button on her mobile, holding it to her ear as she strode into the hallway.
Kit rolled his eyes at Ethan when she was gone.
‘What?’ Ethan said defensively.
‘What’s eating Godzilla?’ Kit said, glancing over at Fiona to make sure she wasn’t listening, but she was too engrossed in her phone call.
Ethan just shrugged, crossed to the fridge, and having taken out a bowl, sat down at the table. Grabbing the spoon he had put out for Sarah, he began to eat. Kit and Romy sat opposite him.
‘Where’s Luke?’ Ethan asked.
‘He’s asleep,’ Romy said. ‘We put him in the living room so as not to wake him.’
‘Oh,’ Ethan said, looking disappointed. ‘I was hoping to finally meet him. Oh, well, maybe he’ll wake up before we go.’
‘Ethan loves babies,’ Kit told Romy. ‘He’s a bit weird like that.’
‘That’s not weird!’ Romy protested.
‘It’s a bit weird for a bloke, though, isn’t it? I mean, it’s different if it’s your own baby, of course,’ he added hastily. And obviously I love … Whatsisface.’
‘Luke,’ Romy and Ethan said simultaneously.
‘But liking complete randomer babies – you have to admit that’s a bit weird for a guy.’
They were interrupted by Fiona coming over to the table. ‘Okay, crisis averted,’ she said, snapping her phone shut.
Ethan introduced Romy and Kit. ‘What do you want for breakfast?’ he asked her. ‘Cereal? Toast?’
At least he was a good host, Romy thought – even if he was a total slag.
‘What’s that you’re eating?’ Fiona asked with a flirtatious smile, sliding into the seat beside him.
‘It’s chocolate pudding. Mom made it for my homecoming.’
‘You can’t eat chocolate pudding for breakfast!’ she said, laughing.
‘Why not? It’s fantastic.’
She tutted. ‘You’re such a baby.’
‘Do you want some?’
‘Oh, I want some all right,’ she murmured with a cheeky grin. ‘But I’m not going to get any, am I?’
Just then Sarah came back into the room, dressed now in a very short skirt, thigh high, spiky-heeled suede boots and a sparkly sequinned top. She marched up to the table and everyone froze, the tension palpable as she glowered at Fiona and Ethan. ‘I’ve called a cab,’ she said to Fiona, her eyes flinty. ‘It’ll be here in about ten minutes. Do you want to share it?’
Fiona looked back at her, conflicting emotions crossing her face. For a moment, they faced each other in silence, seeming to size each other up.
‘Are you going home first, or—’
‘Well, obviously I’m going home first,’ Sarah said, rolling her eyes. ‘I can’t go to work dressed like this.’
‘Why not? You look great,’ Ethan said.
‘Ethan, just … shut up,’ Sarah said crossly. ‘So, are you coming or not?’ she asked Fiona.
‘Yeah, all right,’ Fiona said finally, with an air of defeat. ‘I’d better go get dressed,’ she said to Ethan, getting up.
Sarah sat down in her vacated chair, picking up the bowl o
f cereal Ethan had poured her earlier. No one spoke as she began to eat in a way that somehow managed to convey the impression that she was doing it under protest.
Fiona came back into the kitchen all dressed up for a night out. ‘I’ve decided I’m just going to walk-of-shame it into work,’ she said to Sarah. ‘I can’t be bothered going home to change.’
Just then, the doorbell rang.
‘That’ll be the taxi,’ Sarah said, getting up.
Ethan stood and grabbed Sarah’s coat from the back of a chair, holding it open for her like a waiter in a restaurant.
‘Jesus, Ethan,’ she said, snatching it from him, ‘just because I have a vagina doesn’t mean I’m completely helpless. I’m quite capable of putting my coat on all by myself.’
‘Sorry,’ Ethan said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. ‘I’ll just see you out.’ He followed the two girls out to the front door, and they could be heard saying their goodbyes.
Romy raised her eyes questioningly at Kit. ‘What the hell?’
‘They’re both exes of Ethan’s,’ he said.
‘Oh, right.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Do you think he …?’ It was obvious both girls had spent the night, but surely Ethan hadn’t, not in his parents’ house.
‘Shagged them both? Wouldn’t put it past him.’
Before they could say any more, the front door closed and Ethan came back into the kitchen.
‘Now that you’ve got rid of your harem, are you ready to go?’ Kit asked him.
‘Sure.’
‘We don’t have to leave right away,’ Romy said. ‘You can finish your … breakfast.’ She glanced at the bowl of chocolate sponge.
‘Great!’ He grinned, sitting back down at the table. ‘Would you like some of my welcome-home pudding?’ he asked, holding out a piece to her on a spoon. ‘This is the last of it.’
‘No, thanks.’ God, he was incorrigible. Those girls were barely out the door and he was flirting with her.
‘And it’s not pudding, it’s cake,’ Kit told him.
‘Whatever, it’s amazing!’ Ethan spooned the last bite into his mouth.
‘You’ve spent too long in the jungle,’ Kit said dryly.
Ethan yawned widely and laid his head on his arms on the table.
‘Tired?’ Kit asked.
‘Mmm. I didn’t get much sleep last night.’
‘I bet you didn’t,’ Kit said.
‘No rest for the wicked,’ Romy said tartly.
‘What?’ Ethan said, lifting his head. ‘Why are you both looking at me like that?’
‘We just can’t believe you had both those girls spend the night.’
‘They didn’t give me much choice. I couldn’t get them to leave.’
‘Oh, right – so you were just doing them a favour.’ Romy cringed at how bitter she sounded when she had no cause to be.
‘Look, what you get up to is your own business,’ Kit said, ‘but while you’re living here, you should be more respectful. Whatever about having one girl sleeping over, two is really pushing it. It’s not fair on Mom.’
‘Mom doesn’t mind,’ Ethan said, shrugging. ‘And I cleared up after us and made them breakfast, so—’
‘Christ, I don’t believe you!’ Kit fumed. ‘It’s not about who made their breakfast – it’s about what you were doing last night.’
‘We were just hanging out,’ Ethan said, shrugging innocently. ‘What’s the big deal?’
Hanging out, Romy thought, like he ‘hung out’ with Sinead? Kit seemed to have been rendered speechless, so she answered for him. ‘He just can’t believe you think it’s okay to … to hang out with two girls right under your parents’ noses,’ she sputtered.
Ethan looked at her, frowning in confusion. Then his eyes widened. ‘Oh my God! You think – you think I slept with both of them?’ He seemed torn between amusement and outrage.
‘You mean you didn’t?’
‘No! Jesus!’
‘Sorry, I thought—’
‘God, I can’t believe you think I would do that.’Ethan looked genuinely hurt, and Romy felt bad for having misjudged him.
‘Well, you had two half-naked girls vying for your attention, who’d obviously spent the night,’ Kit said. ‘And we know what you’re like. What were we supposed to think?’
‘You could have given me the benefit of the doubt.’
‘We could,’ Kit said, ‘but where’s the fun in that? So which one did you—’
‘Which one did I what?’
‘Which one did you sleep with?’
‘Neither!’ Ethan huffed, rolling his eyes. ‘Christ! They only stayed over because I couldn’t get them to leave. A few of us came back here after the pub, and eventually it was just the two of them, and they just wouldn’t go. In the end, I said they could crash here because it was the only way I was going to get to bed. Sarah slept on the couch and Fiona slept in your room. Okay?’
Kit laughed. ‘They were cock-blocking you,’ he said.
‘What?’
‘Obviously they were both afraid that if they left first, you’d
take the other one to bed as soon as they were out the door.’
‘Hmm. Possibly,’ Ethan mumbled reluctantly.
‘And were they wrong?’
A sheepish smile twitched at the corners of Ethan’s mouth. ‘Possibly not.’
Romy rolled her eyes. ‘You’re disgusting!’
‘Hey, you’re the one thinking about threesomes. According to you two, I didn’t even have to wait for one of them to leave.’ He shook his head. ‘I can’t believe you thought that. I mean, apart from anything else, can you honestly see those two sharing … like that?’
‘I can’t even believe they got in a cab together,’ Romy said. She felt light-hearted, almost giddy with relief that Ethan hadn’t slept with either of those girls – even if it was only because he didn’t get the opportunity.
‘I thought maybe they were having an attack of morning-after remorse and that’s why they were being so stroppy,’ Kit said. ‘Actually, they’re usually not like that.’
‘Sarah is. Sarah’s always like that.’
‘She’s feisty,’ Ethan said, shrugging. ‘I like that in a woman.’
‘She’s not feisty, she’s mean.’
‘That’s a mean thing to say,’ Ethan said.
‘That’s a true thing to say. Jeez, you were just being polite helping her on with her coat, and she savaged you.’
‘She just has this idea that people are always treating her differently because of her vagina,’ Ethan said, smiling. ‘It’s a sore point with her.’
‘Who has a sore vagina?’
Their heads all spun to the back door, to see Colm sticking his head in. ‘Are they gone?’ he asked, his eyes darting around the room.
‘Yes, the coast is clear,’ Kit told him.
He came into the kitchen and closed the door behind him. ‘So who has the sore vagina?’ he asked.
‘No one,’ Ethan said, at the same time as Kit answered, ‘Sarah.’
‘Ah, poor girl,’ he said, nodding understandingly. ‘That would explain it.’
‘Explain what?’ Ethan asked.
‘Why she was in such a temper this morning. I mean that can’t be much fun, can it?’ He winced.
Ethan rolled his eyes. ‘She doesn’t have a—’
‘I’ll stop you there, son,’ Colm interrupted, holding up one hand in a halting gesture. ‘I don’t want to know how she got it or what it has to do with you. That’s on a need to know basis, and I do not need to know.’
‘But there’s nothing to—’ Ethan began.
‘God, it was like High Noon in here this morning, Romy,’ Colm interrupted, rubbing his hands together and seeming hugely amused by the situation. ‘You should have seen the pair of them squaring off against each other. I wouldn’t like to bet on who’d come out on top in that fight.’
‘My money would be on Sarah,’ Kit said.
‘She’s a scary woman, isn’t she?’ Colm said admiringly. ‘Though, in fairness, the other one’s not to be underestimated either.’
‘I saw a cab pulling away,’ Laura said as she came into the kitchen. ‘Are those girls gone?’
‘Yeah,’ Ethan answered.
‘Did they share a cab?’ Colm asked. ‘Is that wise?’
‘They’ll be fine,’ Ethan said, shrugging. ‘They’re friends.’
‘Friends!’ Kit exclaimed. ‘They looked ready to tear each other to pieces.’
‘They were like something out of a David Attenborough programme,’ Colm said. ‘Two lionesses circling each other around a carcass on the Serengeti.’
‘And what am I in this scenario?’ Ethan asked, laughing.
‘You’re the piece of meat they’re fighting over,’ Kit said. ‘Well, they usually get on fine. I don’t know what got into them.’
‘Not you,’ Kit murmured under his breath. ‘That’s why they were so pissed off.’
‘Have you guys got time for coffee before you go?’ Laura asked as she switched on the machine.
Before anyone could answer, they were interrupted by the sound of Luke’s crying from the other room.
‘We might as well stay for coffee,’ Romy said to Kit as she jumped up. ‘I’ll change Luke and feed him before we go.’
As she changed Luke in the living room, Romy took advantage of the time out to give herself a talking to. She had been shocked by how jealous she had felt of those girls. She hated thinking that Ethan had slept with both of them – or even one of them – and it had made her stupidly happy to discover he hadn’t. It was ridiculous because who Ethan did or didn’t sleep with was nothing to do with her – and never would be. She fancied him – who wouldn’t? He was gorgeous. But she mustn’t let it get out of hand. He was too young for her, he was out of her league, and besides, as far as he was concerned, she was his brother’s girlfriend. She had to stop thinking about him in that way.
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