Healed by Their Unexpected Family

by Karin Baine

  Looking back today, he thought it was no wonder she’d thrown him out. He hadn’t asked anything about the trip she was planning, focusing only on the negatives. Telling her he’d fight for custody had sealed the fate of their relationship. It had been a stupid thing to say. Done in the heat of the moment before he’d taken the time to think about what he was saying. Jamie wished he could take it back, but he doubted he’d get the chance. He’d be lucky if the rest of his belongings weren’t strewn all around the garden by the time he got over to the house tonight.

  ‘Right, then. I guess I’ll go and chase up some results.’ Perhaps sensing she wasn’t going to get any more conversation out of him, his secretary scooped up the paperwork and scurried out of the room to find better company.

  ‘Good idea.’ He didn’t look up to see her leave. To be honest he’d been so caught up in feeling sorry for himself he’d forgotten she was there. Nothing seemed to hold his attention at present. He’d lost interest in everything because he had nothing without Kayla and Luke.

  His hand hovered over the phone sitting on the desk. He wanted to hear her voice, ask how Luke was this morning, and most of all apologise for his overreaction. Except he knew that fear something would happen to them out there wouldn’t leave him. There was no guarantee they wouldn’t go around in circles disagreeing over her plans. He didn’t know how to resolve the situation, only that he wanted to. They had so much together, had a future before them, and he didn’t want to throw that away. If only he knew how to keep Kayla happy and Luke safe.

  Right now, he’d settle for a conversation without Kayla thinking about the harsh treatment she’d received at the hands of her parents. He knew that was why she’d been so defensive and angry enough to throw him out. She couldn’t despise him more than he despised himself for making that comparison a possibility in her eyes. He’d never intentionally hurt her, but he didn’t know if it was too late to convince her of that. If he told her he loved her, wanted to be with her for ever, she wouldn’t believe him because of the timing. It was down to him to find some way to convince her they had something worth saving and do everything within his power to make that happen.

  * * *

  ‘I take it things didn’t go well?’ Cherry was on the phone first thing in the morning. It only took Kayla’s sniffling when she answered the phone for her to realise things hadn’t gone to plan.

  ‘That’s an understatement. Please don’t say you told me so.’ She’d spent enough time berating herself for being so stupid in trusting Jamie, for falling for him, and making him such an important part of her and Luke’s lives in the first place.

  ‘Oh, Kayla, I would never do that. I just didn’t want to see you hurt like this.’ Thank goodness her friend couldn’t see her. She’d have taken one look at Kayla’s puffy eyes and red nose and tracked Jamie down to give him a piece of her mind. Doulas, and best friends, were very protective of new mums and their somewhat fragile emotions.

  ‘Well, it’s done now. Jamie made it clear he’s going to fight for custody if I try and take Luke abroad.’ As she said the words that sadness that had been sitting heavily on her chest from last night again threatened to suffocate her. It was one thing walking away from her parents, who had never shown her any kind of love, but quite another to leave someone she loved. It was heartbreaking, knowing it was the end for them. Even more so to think it had all been a lie.

  She took no pleasure in discovering she’d been right to be wary of getting in too deep. Now she was questioning if he’d ever had feelings for her at all, beyond her being the mother of his child. Although she’d never said it, never admitted it to herself, she’d fallen in love with Jamie. That was why it was hurting so damn much to have lost him. Now she was grieving all over again for a man she loved and a life she’d never have. How difficult it was going to be to still have him in her life as Luke’s father and be reminded of everything that had happened between them.

  ‘There’s no hope at all?’ The sympathy in Cherry’s voice was all it took to set Kayla off again, tears falling and her throat constricting, strangling the wail rising from the depths of her soul.

  ‘No,’ she croaked. ‘Things were said which can never be forgotten.’

  ‘That’s a shame. I mean, I knew he wouldn’t like the idea, but I thought you could work it out, talk it through. You two seemed a good fit.’

  Life had a horrible way of surprising her when she least suspected it.

  ‘Thank goodness we didn’t do anything stupid like get married or I’d be in real trouble. No, it’s better to end things now before it gets too complicated.’ If she’d agreed to him moving in permanently she would’ve been forced to see him every day, take him into account in every decision she made. At least this way she could try and forget him and retain some of her independence.

  ‘What about your trip?’

  ‘Oh, don’t worry, it’s still going ahead. With or without Jamie’s consent.’ That stubborn streak that had flourished in her since her move to London, away from her parents’ influence, stopped her tears in their tracks. She would find a way to take this trip with Luke. Even if she had to steal away in the dead of night. No one was going to stop her from living her own life.

  When Cherry heard that she grew more concerned about Kayla’s state of mind and she had to talk her out of rushing over. She was done being weak. The one thing she did draw strength from was her son, so as soon as she hung up on Cherry she rushed upstairs to get him.

  ‘Morning, sleepyhead.’ She had to rouse Luke for his morning feed. If she let him sleep on he’d be awake all night and, goodness knew, she didn’t want to go back to that again.

  He didn’t really stir even when she lifted him out of his crib. It was so unlike him. Usually he was wriggling about in there, his arms and legs flailing around, eager to get out and start the day. This morning he was just kind of floppy. Call it experience, or plain old motherly instinct, but she knew something was wrong.

  ‘Luke? Come on, wake up, sweetheart.’ She tried blowing gently on his face, but he wasn’t responding. His chest was rising and falling steadily so she knew he was still breathing. A huge relief when she considered the alternative.

  His cheeks were bright red and when she felt his forehead he was burning up. He was too young to be teething and, though it could be something as simple as a virus, running a fever at this age could cause lasting problems. She laid him down on her bed and stripped him down to try and reduce his temperature, but she didn’t want to take any chances. If this was anyone else’s baby she would’ve told them not to panic, it probably wasn’t anything serious, but to get him checked out with the GP as soon as possible.

  Calculating the length of time it would take to get him over to the health centre, she decided she wanted more immediate action. She grabbed her phone from the bedside table and contemplated who to call. It was an emergency to her, but she wasn’t convinced a temperature necessitated an ambulance. There was only one person she knew who could help and who would be as concerned for Luke’s welfare. She had to swallow her pride and put her son before her wounded heart.

  * * *

  At the sound of Kayla’s voice on the phone Jamie had almost broken down and begged for forgiveness there and then. It had been the fear in her voice and the reason for her call that had stopped him. She wasn’t extending an olive branch, she was contacting him because their son was ill. He hadn’t wasted any time in leaving work and jumping in his car. There was nothing more important to him than Luke’s health.

  ‘How is he?’ He was breathless when he got to the house. Kayla had come to the door with Luke in her arms. She was pale, apart from the redness around her eyes, and it was all he could do not to reach out and hug her, assure her everything was going to be all right.

  ‘I’m probably being one of those over-anxious mums, but I didn’t want to take any chances. He wasn’t himself at all this morning and runn
ing a temperature.’

  ‘Not at all. Better to be safe than sorry. Thanks for phoning me.’ She could’ve contacted her GP, or turned to Cherry for help, but she’d chosen him. He was thankful that she wasn’t letting their disagreement come between him and his son. Hopefully it was an indication that, no matter what their relationship, he would still be part of the family.

  ‘Where would you like me to examine him?’ It seemed so odd now to be asking permission to go anywhere in the house when it had become his home up until last night, but he wasn’t here as Kayla’s estranged partner. He didn’t want to upset her any more by asserting his rights to the house and his son. That was a matter that could be resolved at a later date and hopefully through a civilised discussion.

  ‘We can take him upstairs. I’m sorry I dragged you away from work, but I thought you would understand my worry more than anyone.’ She gave him a sad smile before leading him up to her bedroom. A place where they’d spent so many nights together ensuring their son had everything he needed.

  ‘Of course I do. As for work, I wasn’t supposed to be back until next week, so I think I’m surplus to requirements for the time being. They were glad to get rid of me for a while.’ He thought back to earlier, when his secretary had all but accused him of being a pain to be around. Then the relief he’d seen on her face when he’d said he had to leave. He vowed to make it up to her for being so grumpy. Cake seemed to be the required currency to get the staff on side and he made the decision to stop by the bakery on his way to work tomorrow. He couldn’t afford to upset all the people in his life.

  Once upstairs, Kayla laid Luke on the bed. She’d done the right thing in stripping him down and trying to lower his temperature. Unchecked, a fever could lead to fitting and a possibility of leaving a child brain-damaged. Jamie tried not to think the worst. They were both medical professionals; they weren’t going to let their child get into that sort of danger.

  ‘His temperature is still high.’

  Kayla leaned over and studied the reading for herself. ‘It is lower than it was first thing.’

  ‘Good. I’ll check his ears too.’ With his otoscope, he shone a light into Luke’s ears. ‘There’s a lot of inflammation there. I think he’s got an ear infection.’

  ‘My poor lamb.’ Kayla sat on the bed and did her best to console her son, who was protesting against the intrusion.

  ‘I’ll nip out and get him some ear drops to try and take that swelling down. He might need some antibiotics too if it doesn’t clear up.’ All being well, they could get this under control. He knew both of them could relax if Luke’s temperature would come down and they could relieve some of his pain. At least there was something he could do in this situation to stop him from feeling so powerless. It was relations between him and Kayla that still needed attending to. He wasn’t going to sit back and let resentment steal away what they’d had before he’d opened his big mouth, when they had so much worth saving.

  Since the lines of communication had been opened, Jamie hoped Kayla would hear him out on the other matter tearing his guts out. This was his only chance to convince her he was not the monster she believed him to be and he would do everything in his power to prove it.

  * * *

  Kayla had stopped fretting so much since Jamie had dropped everything and rushed over. Not only because he’d gone out and got the medical supplies needed to treat Luke. Despite everything that had been said, all the things she’d accused him of last night, she was glad to have him back here. He’d been the only person she’d wanted to come and treat Luke and reassure her. Underneath it all she knew he was nothing like her parents. She’d been looking for an excuse to push him away because it was easier to do that than to risk her heart. Scarred so deeply by the past, she was afraid there could be no such thing as a happy family for her and didn’t want to put herself through the pain of losing everything when it all went wrong. Except in the aftermath of that conversation last night, pain was all she’d felt. There had been no relief in sending Jamie away because he’d challenged her decisions.

  ‘Do you mind if I stay here until I know he’s out of the woods?’ Jamie had returned from the chemist within record time. Now he’d administered the ear drops and given Luke some liquid paracetamol to help bring his temperature down, all they could do was watch and wait. Kayla was lying right here beside him on the bed until she knew he was all right.

  ‘Not at all.’ She knew Jamie was equally anxious. He wouldn’t have dropped everything to come here if he weren’t.

  He glanced at the bed uncertainly as he took off his coat.

  ‘Go ahead. Take off your shoes first, though.’ She gave him a little smile to show she didn’t mind him lying here with them. After all, it had become commonplace for all three of them to end up in here. It would be churlish now to deny him that closeness to his son.

  ‘Thanks.’ He kicked off his shoes, removed his tie and opened the top button of his shirt. It reminded her of that day in the park when they’d been so content, carefree, and unbothered by the world around them.

  ‘I’m not going to change my mind about the trip, Jamie.’ It was one thing deferring to him when Luke was sick, but she wanted him to realise it wouldn’t change her plans. She wasn’t going to allow him to use an ear infection to take the higher moral ground.

  ‘I wouldn’t expect anything less.’ He was lying on his side grinning at her, back to being his irritating self when she was trying to be serious. They couldn’t simply forget the one thing guaranteed to tear them apart even if there was a chance to get back together.

  ‘I mean, if anything, this goes to prove he can get sick anywhere, but we’ll have the same medicines available out there as we have here. That’s the whole point of the clinic.’ Childhood illness was part of life and they weren’t going to do Luke any favours by trying to wrap him in cotton wool. Being Jamie Garrett’s son didn’t mean he should be treated any differently from any other child.

  ‘I know.’ The fact he wasn’t putting up any argument only succeeded in her strengthening hers.

  ‘You can’t tell me how to live my life, Jamie. I’ve had enough of that.’ If he was agreeing with her only to secure a place in Luke’s life, she knew he’d eventually break cover. ‘I won’t have Luke exposed to the sort of parent I was forced to suffer under.’

  That did wipe the grin off his face and she braced herself for another altercation with Jamie’s Mr Hyde alter ego. He shifted position so he was sitting upright.

  ‘Do you honestly believe I am anything like your parents? That I would prefer to keep you trained to obey my every command rather than have you fighting me on every issue?’ His scowl had softened as he tilted his head to question her real perception of him.

  She thought back to those times when they’d clashed, the reasons behind it, and the passion it had sparked between them. Most times it had been at her instigation, fighting her feelings for him, yet unable to resist the pull between them. Jamie had always seemed to enjoy it, her quest for independence and spiky defences not putting him off. He’d never asked her to be anything but true to herself.

  ‘No,’ she answered quietly.

  ‘No. I love you, Kayla. I love Luke. The only thing I’m guilty of is wanting to keep you safe. I know I went about it the wrong way but there was no deeper, darker motive for the way I acted last night.’

  Her head was spinning. His words were going around and around too fast to catch hold of and really explore what he was saying. She closed her eyes, tried to make them slow down.

  It was possible she’d sabotaged any chance of a relationship herself by insisting she was going to Vietnam now when there wasn’t any real hurry. She’d simply been using it as an excuse to get away and avoid facing the feelings she had for him. Worried he didn’t reciprocate them. He’d just said he loved her. It was why she was so afraid to invite him into her life. Loving Jamie was handing over a
very big part of herself to him—her heart—and trusting him not to abuse the privilege.

  It would be down to her whether or not to give him a second chance. That meant taking a leap of faith and trusting that he only had her and Luke’s best interests at heart. There was only one way of testing that and remaining true to herself.

  ‘I—I love you too, Jamie, but I’m still taking that trip. With Luke.’ It took all the courage she had to tell him that and show him her weakness, but she couldn’t expect honesty from Jamie and not give it in return.

  ‘I thought you might say that. That’s why I got these.’ He pulled out a cardboard sleeve from his back pocket and handed it to her. When she opened it, there were tickets with their names on them nestled inside.

  ‘What’s this?’

  ‘Airline vouchers. For all of us. I didn’t know when, or how long you wanted to go for. You can use these whenever you’re ready. I hope that’s okay?’

  ‘Er...yeah.’ She pulled out the ticket with Jamie’s name on it. ‘You’re coming too?’

  ‘If you want me to? I’m never going to stop you doing anything you want to do. I want to be supportive. This can be our first family holiday.’

  ‘I would really love that.’ This gesture was everything, proving she didn’t need to flee her feelings for him when he loved her and wanted to be by her side come what may.

  ‘Wait. You’re actually agreeing with me on something?’

  ‘Yeah. Don’t get too used to it. If I think something’s worth fighting you on I won’t hold back.’

  ‘Oh, I’m counting on it. They do say the making up after is always the best part.’ Jamie leaned over their sleeping baby with that devilish look in his eyes that told her she was in trouble. She kind of liked it.