by Mary Brendan
He yanked open the door and was out on the top step when Lily appeared.
‘Jack!’ The child hurtled along the hallway and launched herself at his legs, making him disentangle himself, then step down a step before crouching to speak to her.
‘Stop that, Lily.’ Dawn spoke sharply and the child looked at her wide eyed.
‘Sorry, m’m, I didn’t know you had company.’ Polly had also picked up on her mistress’s tone. She hurried forward to take Lily by the hand and draw her back into the hallway.
‘Say goodbye to Mr Valance, Lily. He is very busy and must leave now.’
Dawn noticed the sardonic glint in his eyes as he slowly rose to his full height. As the child murmured her polite goodbye, he turned and descended the steps, springing aboard his curricle pulled by the pale-flanked horse she’d admired before. On that occasion on Regent Street he’d had a flamboyant blonde on his arm.
Dawn closed the door before the carriage had pulled away. She watched her granddaughter being led towards the kitchen for her tea. But her mind was still with Jack. She was glad she’d stopped herself from sounding jealous by taunting him with an undeniable fact: he seemed in no need of a mistress as he already had one.
Chapter Ten
‘You must be nice and let Lily have a turn on the rocking horse, Bernie.’
The boy looked mutinous, but did as his mother bade him and got off the ride to allow the little girl to use it. He sank down to the rug to play with his tin soldiers, but not before having delivered a tug to Lily’s fair curls on passing.
Lily pursed her lips, pinching him in retaliation before climbing on board and swaying serenely to and fro.
‘Well... I think they like one another,’ Dawn said ironically, making Emma chuckle. At the back of her mind she realised it was probably true. Although the children competed with one another for everything—even the last biscuit on the plate had been broken in half to appease them—they followed one another around and had done so almost from the moment they’d been put in the same room together.
‘Perhaps a run around in the garden is in order,’ Emma suggested.
Dawn knew her granddaughter was happy today despite her skirmishes with Bernie. That had come as a relief to Dawn. Over the last few days the little girl had started to tearfully ask about her mother again and this time her grandma’s explanation about Eleanor being with the angels in heaven hadn’t pacified Lily. Neither had allowing her to play on the swing brightened her for long. But the promise of a trip to meet the boy with the rocking horse had finally distracted her. When the Earl’s coach had arrived earlier to convey them to Grosvenor Square Lily had kneeled close to the window to peer out at passing scenery, impatient to arrive at their destination.
Dawn realised it would take a while for her granddaughter to get used to her new surroundings. In a way it was a comfort to know Lily had loved her mama and missed her so much. Not once had the child asked about her other parent.
The door of the nursery was opened and the newcomer immediately received a boisterous greeting from his young son.
‘Well, this all looks very civilised,’ Lance remarked with a smile, ruffling the boy’s dark locks.
‘Bernie just pulled Lily’s hair.’ His wife arched an eyebrow at him.
‘Lily pinched him back,’ Dawn gamely admitted.
‘Sounds fair...’ the Earl pragmatically judged. ‘Will you come downstairs and say hello to Jack? He’s accompanied me home from White’s.’
Dawn felt her stomach somersault, but she gave Emma an easy smile. Her friend was gauging her reaction to the news. Not long after they’d settled down with the children in the nursery Emma had asked if she’d recently seen Jack. Dawn had admitted that he’d visited in the week and that they’d parted rather frostily. She hadn’t disclosed much of what they’d spoken about. Jack might not have told the Houndsmeres about his harrowing time in a foreign gaol and she wouldn’t betray his confidence on that score. Neither did she want to admit that he’d propositioned her in case Emma branded him a selfish philanderer. Dawn had to admit, though, that he certainly fell into that category and she wasn’t sure why she felt compelled to protect him from criticism. Her casual explanation that their contretemps had arisen from a simple misunderstanding about his long silence had been readily accepted by Emma. Dawn wished it had been the trifle she’d made it out to be, then she wouldn’t feel flustered at the prospect of being brought face to face with him.
‘Of course, we’ll come and say hello to Jack.’ Emma stood up from the sofa.
Dawn rose, too, beckoning her granddaughter. ‘Lily will like to see him, I’m sure,’ was all she said.
* * *
Jack was stationed by the window in the drawing room, gazing out over the gardens. When he turned about, Dawn fleetingly allowed her eyes to skim on his, giving an equally mannerly greeting to the one she’d received. She managed to keep an ironic edge from her voice, though, when replying that she’d been very well, thank you. Something it seemed he’d been unable, or unwilling, to do.
Lily had immediately trotted towards Jack to tell him about the rocking horse she’d played upon. Dawn felt a poignancy stealing over her as she watched them together. From the first moment he’d met her granddaughter he had been kind to her...far kinder than Dawn had ever witnessed the child’s father act towards Lily.
‘Shall I ring for tea?’ Emma suggested brightly. ‘Or will you gentlemen take these two scamps into the garden to play chase and give our nerves a rest?’ She chuckled. ‘We will join you in a little while once we are sufficiently recovered.’
The children appreciated that idea and started their game by racing towards the door.
Knowing Emma as she did, Dawn guessed there was a reason for her friend buying them some time on their own. Once the youngsters’ excited whoops had faded away she turned on Emma an old-fashioned look. ‘So...what have you to tell me, my dear?’ she asked.
‘Well, let me first say that I haven’t arranged Jack’s visit in an attempt to matchmake. I would adore to see you together, if it were at all possible, but I fear it isn’t.’ Emma sighed and squeezed Dawn’s fingers. ‘Other than that I have wanted to ask you something all afternoon, but dared not speak in front of Lily. She is such a knowing child.’ Emma frowned. ‘You’ve had more than a tiff with Jack, haven’t you? I hate to see you upset, Dawn, and I know you are. Please don’t be brave and say you’re not.’ She sighed. ‘I probably shouldn’t ask...but we are best friends. So...has he reluctantly offered to call off his engagement for your sake and made you feel horribly guilty for wishing that indeed he would?’
‘He’s offered nothing of the sort,’ Dawn replied ruefully, hugging Emma in gratitude for her concern. ‘Jack has made it clear he intends to wed Miss Snow.’
‘What has he in mind for you, then?’
Dawn gave a shrug, but she felt her cheeks growing warm and knew her friend wasn’t fooled.
‘Ah, I see...’ Emma linked arms with Dawn to draw her to the sofa. ‘I suspected as much. And you have said no, haven’t you?’
There was no point in prevaricating. Emma was too astute. ‘Did you also imagine I might say yes, Em?’ Dawn sank on to the cushions.
Emma vigorously shook her head. ‘Not for a moment did I think it. I know you were tempted, though, just as I was tempted when Lance asked me to be his mistress.’ Emma perched beside her friend, turning to face Dawn. ‘That’s how I can recognise the signs of people in love, beset by obstacles to their happiness.’
Dawn frowned. ‘I hope I have not made my weakness too obvious. I wouldn’t want Jack to ever know I gave a second thought to his proposition.’
‘You behave very properly with him. But I know you still love him,’ Emma said softly. ‘And it’s clear he’s not over you. Though you did your best to avoid looking at him, he couldn’t take his eyes from you when you entered the room. I
cannot understand what he thinks he is doing persevering with this betrothal to Miss Snow.’
‘He has his reasons,’ Dawn quietly championed him. ‘He spoke of duty and honour being at stake. I shan’t pry into it. If he wants to tell me, he will.’
‘Apparently the girl is pretty, but has no dowry. One would be forgiven for thinking he must be head over heels in love with Sarah Snow to have proposed.’ Emma sat back and crossed her arms over her middle.
‘It isn’t a love match, he admitted that.’ Dawn nibbled her lower lip. ‘Who am I to decry a practical arrangement with a spouse? It suited me well enough.’
‘So you didn’t argue with him because you found out Sarah is ensconced at his Essex retreat?’
Dawn whipped a glance at her friend. ‘Is she?’
‘I was astonished when I found out, but apparently it is all quite proper. She has a plethora of maids and a chaperon and he is here in London. I imagine he will follow the same routine after the nuptials, leaving his bride out in the sticks while living his own life in town.’
‘They might grow closer, in time.’ Though her heart ached to know the truth in it, Dawn sincerely hoped Jack Valance would discover that happiness among the dross that he’d spoken about. His inner demons might in time be quietened by the contentment his wife and children brought to him.
‘I’m not sure I would feel so charitable about it,’ Emma said. ‘He virtually proposed to you before he went away. Then returned with a fiancée.’
‘I got married, Em, while he was away. And he knew it.’
‘And why should you not? He’d had plenty of time to nip in first,’ Emma stated bluntly. ‘Did he expect you to sit on the shelf, twiddling your thumbs?’
‘No...’ Dawn clucked her tongue. ‘He told me he was pleased that Thomas married me.’
‘Well, I don’t believe that and I doubt he does either,’ Emma trumpeted.
Dawn walked to the window and gazed out at the mellow scene of two gentlemen laughing together, then intermittently joining in the children’s game of dashing hither and thither on the verdant, sunlit lawns. ‘Perhaps it was my fault.’ Dawn spoke almost to herself. ‘Perhaps if I’d really loved him then I would have waited longer before getting married.’ She gave a sigh. ‘But nobody had heard from Jack...not even Lance. So I listened to my stepmother when she impressed upon me that Thomas Fenton’s proposal was probably the only one likely to come my way. I had no dowry and I imagined Julia was right. I couldn’t countenance the prospect of more years in my childhood home with a stepmother I didn’t like, but must give way to...’ Dawn tailed off into silence as the unpleasant scenario played out in her head. For a moment longer she stared, blurry eyed, unaware that Jack had turned towards the house and caught her watching him.
It was too late to duck out of sight so she brazened it out and raised a hand, and got an ironic bow for her trouble.
‘Nobody would have turned down a rescue plan in those circumstances,’ Emma said stoutly. ‘Your husband was a nice man. I liked him and so did Lance.’
‘I liked him, too,’ Dawn said quietly, returning to Dawn’s side. ‘And how I wish it had eventually come to more than that between us...then I wouldn’t mind one bit about what Jack Valance got up to.’ She made an apologetic gesture. ‘Enough of this maudlin poring over what might have been,’ she said. ‘Let’s go and join the others in the sunshine. Then if you don’t mind lending me a carriage again I should take Lily home. She’ll need an early bedtime after all this excitement.’
Dawn realised she was full of excitement, too, and acting like a silly girl infatuated with a secret swain she knew was a rascal. She was impatient to go outside to be near him, torture herself with the bittersweet pain of wanting what she mustn’t have.
She should have made an excuse to leave, she realised, and avoided him altogether. But taking the coward’s route would have denied Lily her chance to spend time with Jack. And that wasn’t fair. The child had few kith and kin and another friend for her should be welcomed.
As the ladies promenaded along the corridor towards the garden door Dawn forced her mind from Jack and to a sobering matter she had to attend to when back home. That morning she had received a letter from Lily’s father. She intended to quickly answer it. She knew that what really interested the Reverend Peter Mansfield wasn’t enquiring about Lily’s well-being. He’d barely touched on that. The gist of the missive had been to discover how well acquainted Dawn was with Lord Sterling and whether she had received an invitation to his forthcoming wedding. That news of Jack’s betrothal had spread didn’t surprise Dawn. But the idea that Peter Mansfield might start inveigling for an invitation to the wedding...or worse, to conduct the service...made Dawn fervently hope that the ceremony would take place in town and be a quiet affair.
What had additionally worried her in his letter was a heavy hint that if His Lordship intended to remain at his London mansion for a while then Peter would pay a visit to town to speak to him. It was time, he wrote, to renew his acquaintance with Lord Sterling and also to accompany the child when she went to visit the Houndsmeres’ son and heir. When Dawn returned home she would set pen to paper and inform Peter that the Viscount was shortly planning a trip to Essex to socialise with his country neighbours. She hoped that might keep the odious vicar right where he was.
Having joined in the game of blind man’s buff and been caught by Bernie, Dawn retreated to relax beneath the magnificent plane tree. Jack, also out of the game, having allowed himself to be caught by Lily, strolled to stand beside her.
‘It is hard to believe the weather has improved so rapidly since the snows.’ Believing she had found a neutral topic of conversation Dawn burst out with it...then soon regretted it.
He grunted a laugh, glancing at her blushing complexion. ‘Yes...best we don’t revisit that episode, isn’t it,’ he said. ‘Let’s talk about something else. Have you heard from Mansfield yet?’
‘I have. Just this morning,’ Dawn was glad to change the subject. ‘I shall write later and tell him that Lily is completely fine.’ She gazed at the child, pink-cheeked and laughing as she played with the puppies. How happy she seemed! And seeing her so filled Dawn’s heart with joy, too. But the spectre of her father was never far away and Dawn’s smile soon faded. ‘The vicar is angling for a reason to visit so he might again make your acquaintance and get to know the Houndsmeres.’
‘I can’t promise him a welcome if he turns up at my door,’ Jack muttered drily, gazing off into the distance.
‘I shall inform him that you are about to return to Essex in the hope it will keep him there.’
Jack laughed soundlessly. ‘Would you like me to now say that’s my intention to give some truth to the lie?’
‘I didn’t think it was a lie,’ Dawn retorted. ‘As Miss Snow is at your house in Wivenhoe I thought you might soon go back there.’
‘Why would I do that?’ he asked levelly.
‘To see how she is in the manner of a fond fiancé?’ Dawn tartly suggested.
‘Miss Snow is just fine without me. In fact, I also had a letter today. My fiancée informs me of how happy she is.’
‘Obviously she has no idea of your true character then or what is in store for her as your wife.’
‘She knows me as well as she needs to and is content that being married to me won’t change her life in any way.’
Dawn wasn’t sure what to say to that. It certainly was a business arrangement then, if the prospective bride and groom had no hankering to see one another and intended to carry on as though they were single.
‘No comment to make?’ He turned to her. ‘No accusation about my callousness in leaving her all alone?’
‘Why on earth don’t you set the poor girl free and let her find somebody who might cherish her and actually make her a loving husband?’ Dawn rattled off in a suffocated tone.
‘God in H
eaven,’ he ground out. ‘Don’t you realise that’s what I want above all else? Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. I wasn’t the only one at the mercy of brutes. She was, too. I swore to her dying father that thereafter she’d always be safe with me.’ He sighed, shook his head in regret...a wordless declaration that he’d said too much. Abruptly he turned on his heel, informing quietly, ‘I’m leaving now. I’ll just say goodbye to your granddaughter and the others.’
Dawn wasn’t letting him walk away after that astonishing revelation. She grabbed at his wrist double-handed and held on to it. ‘You can’t just go without explaining some more. I don’t understand.’
‘I know you don’t understand,’ he said. ‘And there’s no point in explaining, is there? It won’t change anything.’ He turned his head, expelling a heavy sigh. ‘I’m sorry, I should learn to keep my mouth shut. That’s the second time now that I’ve spoken thoughtlessly. And I’m sorry to have come here and spoiled your day with your friend.’ He faced her, twisting his hand in her grip so he could entwine their fingers. ‘I swear I didn’t know you were here... I didn’t come to ambush you. Lance kept quiet about having visitors this afternoon. We were supposed to talk business in his study. But it can wait until another day.’
She’d harboured a secret hope that he had come here to bump into her. But it seemed that was a conceit. ‘There’s no reason for you to go, sir, or to delay your meeting. I’ve already told Emma that it’s time to take Lily home or she will get overexcited.’ Dawn extricated her fingers from his warm clasp.
‘I’ll give you a lift as we’re setting off at the same time.’
‘My ride back is already arranged, thank you.’
‘Lily will prefer to travel with me,’ he coaxed with a quirk of a smile.
‘I know...and thank you for kindly taking notice of her. But our spending time together isn’t a good idea.’