by Mary Brendan
‘Thank you, no. Actually...if you don’t mind, we shall accompany you,’ Dawn said brightly, helping Lily down from the dining table. ‘I intend to take my granddaughter out most days as the weather is fine. She shouldn’t be cooped up.’
Mrs Broome looked delighted at the prospect of having their company. ‘It’s a bit of a walk for her little legs though, m’m,’ she pointed out.
‘Oh, the vicar has a dog cart we can use. I’m quite able to drive it.’
‘So am I,’ Mrs Broome said flatly. ‘But he told me not to when I suggested fetching the groceries in it.’
‘Well, he hasn’t told me not to use it,’ Dawn said. ‘If he’s out in the gig, and the pony and cart are sitting idle, then I don’t see how he can object to his daughter being given a ride to town. Besides, it is sensible for us to bring back what the cupboards lack rather than waiting for the boy to deliver later in the week.’
Mrs Broome gave an emphatic nod. ‘Quite right, too, m’m,’ she said.
* * *
An hour later they were out on the rutted road with a balmy breeze at their backs. The two women had settled into an amicable quiet, with Lily seated between them on the bench. It had been a long time since Dawn had driven a vehicle, but she’d not felt nervous at the idea of harnessing the pony, or of taking the reins. Excitement and relief at having escaped the vicarage were lifting her spirits making her more than usually appreciative of the countryside. The clear azure sky and verges sprinkled with scarlet poppies were a glorious sight. The hedgerows rustled with wildlife and intermittently rabbits broke free of bramble to dart away over the fields. The pony was elderly and well behaved, maintaining a steady if slow trot that allowed Dawn to loosen her grip on the reins, then settle back to enjoy the ride.
As they passed the brow of a hill they had a clear view of Croxley Grange rising up in all its turreted glory away to the west. Dawn had no need to have that reminder of Jack Valance. He was never far from her thoughts. Days had passed since he’d held her, kissed her, yet the vivid memory of their fiery passion was enough to revive a phantom pressure on her skin as though he still tantalised her with his touch. She mentally shook herself, concentrating on the road ahead. She must do without him and cope alone with her problems if she could. Jack had quit town without contacting her and in doing so had conveyed a message more honestly than could a letter containing his regrets.
She noticed a pothole ahead and slowed the mare to steer her around it. The breeze had patted colour into all their complexions and Dawn smiled as her animated granddaughter pointed to a hare that seemed to be challenging them to a race. The creature was bounding in front of the cart, then suddenly it veered off towards the meadow through a gap in the hawthorn.
‘The rich fellow who owns that big house is a handsome rogue by all accounts.’ Mrs Broome had noticed the direction of Mrs Fenton’s gaze a moment ago. ‘He’s soon getting wed, though, so lots of hearts will be broken.’
‘Have you seen anything of Lord Sterling’s fiancée?’ It had slipped out before Dawn could curb her tongue.
‘Only the once...in the distance...and hemmed in by a throng of people dancing attendance on her.’ Mrs Broome tickled Lily’s cheek as the child fidgeted on the seat. ‘Refined young ladies have to be kept under lock and key, away from the likes of lusty lads, don’t they?’ She chuckled. ‘I’d have a job keeping my girl indoors now she’s courting. If you’ve a comely daughter, you’ve got a worry until she’s safely wed, no matter your station in life.’
It seemed that news of the Viscount’s return to the area hadn’t yet spread. But it would. Dawn guessed the wedding announcement wouldn’t be far off either. She urged the pony to increase pace as she glimpsed the signpost up ahead. They were approaching town and a few minutes later she was heading along the dusty main road to stop the cart in a lane behind the green.
‘There’s my friend over there,’ Mrs Broome returned a wave to a woman who appeared to be loitering in the hope of a chat.
‘Please go and speak to her, if you want to, and run your errands,’ Dawn urged when Mrs Broome politely stayed by her side. ‘I’d like to have a look in the drapery. Lily needs new vests. We can meet back here by the cart in an hour or so.’
The drapery was busy so Dawn walked on past the shop with the intention of returning later to make her purchases. Up ahead she’d spotted somebody she knew. Mrs Grove had served Eleanor well and Dawn didn’t want to miss an opportunity to say hello to the old housekeeper and ask how she fared. The woman was leaning on a stick as though aches and pains had crept up on her since she’d retired.
‘Jack!’ Lily tugged on her grandma’s hand to gain her attention.
Dawn had almost jumped from her skin on hearing Lily squeak out loud the name that constantly circled her head. She crouched down to shush the child, then glanced in the direction of Lily’s pointing finger.
And indeed it was him. He was some distance away on the opposite side of the road. It seemed to Dawn that her heart ceased beating for the time it took her to straighten up. He looked impeccably distinguished, sporting a snugly fitting grey tailcoat with his strong legs encased in buff breeches and polished Hessian boots. His silvery hair was being whipped on to his brow by the breeze and the hand he’d splayed on the curricle was lifted to push the stray locks from his eyes.
She wasn’t the only woman who was watching the lord of the manor. A couple of young ladies hurried past, whispering excitedly behind their gloved fingers about Lord Sterling being in town this afternoon. He appeared about to help his companion to board the curricle. But he didn’t...he remained where he was, his head turned in Dawn’s direction, having just spotted her.
She was too far away to read his expression, but as their eyes remained locked she imagined his feelings were as ambiguous as her own. She tossed up whether to raise a hand in acknowledgement or simply turn away to carry on about her business. Perhaps he was annoyed, thinking she’d followed him. Well, she hadn’t. She’d far, far sooner still be in London. She would have done anything rather than meet him again like this...out in public...when he had his fiancée by his side. And she knew that the petite Titian-haired young lady who was standing by the Arabian, rubbing its nose, was Sarah Snow.
Perhaps he was embarrassed at the idea of introducing them. Well she’d no qualms about meeting his future wife. In fact, Dawn realised she would sooner get the introduction over with. She put up her chin and set off determinedly in his direction, clutching tightly at Lily’s hand as the child tried to slip free and fly ahead to greet him.
Chapter Fourteen
‘This is a nice surprise, Mrs Fenton. Most unexpected, too.’
‘Indeed, it is unexpected,’ Dawn answered crisply, aware of his ruefulness. ‘I’m sorry for intruding. Lily spotted you and wanted to come and say hello.’
Jack’s mouth took on a sardonic slant as he detected an undercurrent of froideur in her tone. ‘There’s no need for an apology. I’m always pleased to see you and your granddaughter. I believe you know that.’ His dark fingers ruffled Lily’s fair curls, but his attention soon returned to Dawn. She understood the blunt question blazing from his grey eyes, then he turned to his companion and made introductions.
‘I have heard about you, you know,’ Sarah Snow said, taking the hands Dawn had extended to her in welcome. ‘I know about you, too, Miss Lily.’ Sarah crouched down to speak to the little girl. ‘I know that you like to spin sovereigns. So do I. Major Jack taught me the trick of it.’ She tutted. ‘I must remember to call him Lord Sterling now, mustn’t I?’ she whispered to Lily. ‘May I take her to have a look in the toyshop window?’ she asked Dawn. ‘It’s just there.’ She pointed to a premises close by.
‘I’m sure Lily would like that,’ Dawn answered with a smile. She had been wondering how to engineer a brief, private moment with Jack before they parted. He ought to know what had brought her to Essex. For the forese
eable future they would be neighbours and needed to be prepared to bump into one another. It was a tormenting situation, knowing they must appear to be just acquaintances. From the satirical set to his features, Dawn guessed that Jack was also brooding on the farce involved.
Sarah led Lily away and Jack casually took Dawn’s arm, tightening his fingers when she would have slipped free. A mulberry tree close by beckoned as shelter and he steered her beneath its branches. Dawn’s mind slipped back through the years to a day when he had manoeuvred her in just such a way in Hyde Park and had kissed her quite determinedly. From that moment she had fallen in love with this man and forlornly realised she had never stopped. Yet the passing years and her changing life had done nothing to bring to fruition a love that seemed doomed.
‘Did you come to Essex to find me? Has something happened in London that needed my help?’ Jack demanded the moment they were in shadows cast by whispering leaves.
‘I did not come to find you and I don’t need your help,’ Dawn returned succinctly. Oh, she did need his help, but realised that she must learn to do without him. She had seen them together now...Jack and his fiancée. Sarah Snow was no longer a faceless young woman, but real flesh and blood. She was sweet and friendly and innocent...and deserved to be happy after what she had been through in Tangier. While watching them together, unobserved, Dawn had seen Jack smile fondly at his future wife. He might not love Sarah, but he wasn’t indifferent to her either. And neither was Dawn. Sarah had done nothing to harm her; the young woman believed that Mrs Fenton was exactly who she purported to be...an acquaintance of her future husband. Dawn couldn’t act the hypocrite or the liar to promote that fallacy while wanting to have Jack to herself. So she must leave them both alone...deal with her problems alone...
‘You’re quiet...what’s the matter? Is it Mansfield bothering you?’ Jack asked.
Dawn shrugged, keeping an eye on her granddaughter. Lily was eagerly browsing the toys in the shop window, pointing this way and that as something caught her eye. ‘I hoped never again to set foot in Wivenhoe, that’s all.’
‘It sounds as though Mansfield has interfered.’ Jack frowned. ‘Why did you not wait for me? I would have dealt with that weasel. He won’t go against me and risk losing the funds I’ve promised him for the church. Didn’t you believe that I’d fulfil my promise to return by the end of the week?’
Dawn shot a look of confusion at him. ‘When did you promise any such thing? I’ve not seen or spoken to you since you left my house without even saying goodbye.’
‘Apologies for that, but I thought you’d want me to eject Mansfield with all due haste after his untimely arrival,’ Jack drily excused himself. ‘And I did come back to say goodnight...and more besides...’ His eyes studied her face, dropped lower to move in a caress over her figure. His voice became husky as he added, ‘Your house was in darkness. I imagined you were in bed...’ He gave a hollow laugh. ‘So indeed it took some noble self-restraint to stop myself banging on your door.’
Dawn felt her cheeks fizzing with heat as a silver glint in his eyes burned her skin.
‘I didn’t think you’d appreciate me disturbing the neighbours,’ he roughly explained. ‘So I did the decent thing and went straight home...to a message that I was needed urgently at Croxley Grange.’ He planted a hand on the tree trunk. ‘Did you not believe that I would return in a few days as stated in my letter?’
‘Your letter?’ Dawn echoed. ‘I’ve not received a letter from you.’
Jack took a step towards her, frowning. ‘Before I left town I wrote you a note. I gave instructions to my butler that it was to be delivered before noon the following morning.’
Dawn shook her head in dismay. ‘I didn’t receive it.’ Knowing he hadn’t just gone away without a word caused a surge of relief to ripple through her. She felt bereft, though, not to have received that small token of his regard. A message from him would have comforted her and emboldened her against Mansfield’s threats to take Lily. She might have stood her ground with her granddaughter in London, knowing Jack was on his way to be her ally. But she had allowed Mansfield’s spite to sow seeds of doubt in her mind. She had agreed to come to Essex, believing herself abandoned by Jack and on the point of losing Lily.
In a way she realised she was glad she had panicked and come to Wivenhoe. Meeting Sarah had given her a fresh and vital perspective on the reality of all their situations. She must stop relying on Jack and stop hoping his betrothal would flounder. Slowly but surely she must withdraw from his life, even as a friend, because the temptation to want more would never leave her. And, if he chose to cheat on his wife, Dawn could at least comfort herself with the knowledge that the betrayal wouldn’t be tormenting her conscience.
Jack limited his frustration at knowing the letter had gone astray to an apologetic gesture. But beneath his composure simmered anger. His butler was usually efficient in carrying out his strict instructions. Crawley would need to explain himself if he wanted to keep his position. ‘Well, no matter about the letter.’ Jack smoothed the matter over. ‘At least you are here with me now.’
‘What brought you urgently back to Croxley Grange?’ Dawn looked at Sarah. She appeared in good health and very content. She was laughing while playing pat-a-cake with Lily. She was soon to be a bride and had the face and figure of an adult—her fine lemon gown clung to her curves—yet her behaviour seemed rather immature. It was hard to imagine the young woman as a viscountess. Difficult as it was for Dawn to endure, she realised Sarah needed somebody like Jack to protect her from life’s cruelties. The thought was reinforced when Dawn’s flitting gaze alighted on a fellow across the road, stationed in the bakery doorway. He was dressed in a seafarer’s reefer jacket and peaked leather cap and appeared to be watching Sarah. Aware he was under observation, he turned and strolled off along the street, eating a bun.
‘You believed I’d gone away without leaving you word, didn’t you? Don’t you trust me even a little bit, Dawn?’ Jack narrowed his eyes on the sailor.
‘What was I supposed to think?’ Dawn shielded her guilty blush by dipping her bonnet brim. ‘The vicar called on me the following day to collect Lily and take her to Essex. He knew you had already returned there whereas I did not. I imagined you had left quickly because you wanted a clean break to protect our names.’ The memory of what they’d done to risk their reputations played over slowly in her head, turning the pink in her cheeks to fiery red. Had they been disturbed a few minutes later she might have been partially disrobed instead of just doing up buttons. The vicar might have burst in and seen her naked body and the very idea of it made her insides squirm in mortification. ‘I understood why you deemed it best to put some distance between us. I still do...more than ever now. While I am, alas, forced to remain in Essex, we should avoid one another.’
‘Hush...no more,’ Jack growled, stepping closer to her and blocking her from view behind his muscular physique. He raised a discreet hand to stroke her face. ‘This will come right for everybody, Dawn. If there is any justice at all in life it has to. Just give me some time to make it so.’
Over his shoulder Dawn spotted the ladies who’d been gossiping about him earlier. She discreetly moved away, hoping that any curious townsfolk believed them to be just people enjoying a polite chat while shading from the afternoon sun. She had her grandchild with her and Lord Sterling was accompanied by his future wife so there was no reason why onlookers should believe differently. And now she had come to her senses there need be no deceit in such an assumption.
‘Did Mansfield bring you into town this afternoon?’ Jack gazed along the street as though believing he might spot their nemesis.
‘No... I brought myself and his new housekeeper in his dog cart. Mrs Broome is ordering groceries this afternoon. I need to have those loaded on shortly.’
Jack smiled wryly. ‘So you can handle the reins, can you?’
‘Very well, actually,
’ she said with mock boastfulness. ‘Not that I drive in London. I don’t have a vehicle of my own.’
‘We can change that. You can have anything you want. Just name it.’
Their eyes tangled in contest. Oh, she knew as Lord Sterling’s mistress she’d have the sort of pampered life she’d never previously tasted. A life that many women of straitened circumstances would adore to be offered. She tore her eyes free of his hold before her new good intentions wavered. ‘What I want is to always have Lily in my life and living in London with me. If you could give me that, sir, I would be happy indeed and ask for nothing more.’
‘Is that the only reason you came back here? To ensure your granddaughter was properly cared for? You weren’t missing me or worried about me even just a little bit after believing I’d disappeared without a word?’
‘After what you overcame in Tangier I’m sure you can take care of yourself,’ Dawn said on a smile.
‘And I can take care of you. And Lily. Trust me on it.’
‘And you must take care of Sarah,’ Dawn said bluntly. ‘Your future wife is your priority, sir.’
‘Surely you realise you have no reason to feel jealous now that you have met her?’
Dawn avoided his eyes. She had felt twinges of jealousy and felt ashamed because of it. ‘You told Sarah about me and Lily. Why?’
‘Sarah asked what I’d been doing in London and who I’d seen.’
‘And what did you say?’
‘I said I’d seen a good friend and her little granddaughter. I said I hoped to go back and see you both again soon.’
So she had been right. His fiancée hadn’t a clue that Mrs Fenton might be a rival. Sarah and Lily were approaching, having seen their fill of what the toyshop window had to offer.