I held out my hand to take hers. It was tiny, like the rest of her, but she gripped mine with surprising strength. "I'm Libby…, my husband, Jack," He stepped up to take her hand. "There aren't words to express how much it means to us, that you took the time to come all this way."
"Call me Alice," she said directly. ‘This is my grandson, Matthew." He reached out to shake my hand. He was tall with intelligent blue eyes. He smiled kindly. "Pleasure's mine, Libby."
"I'm retiring the end of the month," Alice said, as we sat down in the living room. "I was afraid you and I might never meet again." Jack shook Matthew's hand and the two men stepped over to the bar, giving us privacy. Jack popped the top off a bottle and gave me an encouraging smile over the other man's shoulder.
Alice smoothed a silvery curl over her ear and smiled with the same kind, blue eyes. "All these years I've held onto this letter, Libby. I was beginning to think you'd never come for it." She reached into her bag and drew out a tattered envelope. She handed it to me and I took it carefully. I turned it over.
For my darling baby girl. The letters were tall, graceful. Unfamiliar…
I took Alice's wrinkled hand. "Meet again?" I asked. "Weren't you my mother's nurse, when… when she died?"
"I was," she nodded, watching me closely. "But Dorothy and I first met the day you were born. I was working in delivery and she came in, ready to burst." She smiled and her eyes glazed with memory. "She was a brave girl. All by herself and in so much pain. She was in labor for seventeen hours, but she did it." Alice looked back into my face. "You favor her, you know. Same eyes, same mouth… She was a lovely girl."
"I've spent my whole life with so many questions," I said, holding her hand tightly. "I don't even know where to start… Did you find out anything about her at all? Or my father…?" I stumbled. "Why did she die, Alice? She wasn't much older than I am…" Words were catching in my throat.
Alice patted my cheek, her palm cool and dry. "She had her hands full bringing you into the world." She smiled warmly. "We both did.
I only know that she came in alone and that she left with you a few days later. As for when she died… well, I'm hoping she put that in the letter for you herself…"
"You mean, she knew?" I felt my jaw sag. "I always imagined it must have been an accident…"
Alice shook her head. "She was sick," she said slowly. "Afterwards, I often wondered if she only held on as long as she did for your sake. Never, in forty-two years as a nurse, did I see a new mother who loved her baby the way Dorothy loved you."
I sat in stunned silence, almost unable to absorb so much, so fast. Then I felt Jack standing beside me, his hand on my back, warm and safe. I exhaled.
"She was very near the end when I saw her again. I wasn't on duty at the hospital that day, but she asked for me and I went." Alice bent to catch my gaze. "Should I go on? Do you want to hear…?" I nodded, still silent.
"She had kept you until she was just too sick to care for you. She told me that she'd given you up for adoption. And that it was the hardest thing she'd ever done. Harder than dying, she'd said.
Things were different then, different than they are now. Records were sealed… babies weren't always given the best homes…" She put her hand gently on my knee. "I always wondered about you, Libby. For your sake… and your mother's. I know her last wishes were that you'd be safe, and that she'd done right by you." Alice's eyes were moist.
"Did you find a good home, child? Have you been happy?"
Tears ran fast, hot down my cheeks and I held tight to Jack's hand. I couldn't form the words, but I nodded hard, smiling… smiling…
Jack and I watched together as Matt helped Alice into the car and they disappeared down the drive. I'd eventually recovered enough to tell them both about the wedding and our baby. I left out a few of the details, of course… but she'd smiled deeply when Jack told her how much he loved me. And Alice had hugged me tight, making me promise to call her soon, before the baby was born.
Jack sat down and pulled me onto his lap, putting his arms around me and resting his chin on my shoulder. My mother's letter sat unopened beside us.
"There are still unanswered questions," he said gently. "But you learned a lot today."
I picked up the letter and touched the handwriting.
"Does it change anything for you… Knowing?" He kissed the curve of my shoulder. I leaned my head to rest against his.
"Everything… in a way…Or maybe nothing at all. I don't know yet, I guess." I took a long breath in… out. "I'm the same person I've always been…"
"Except that you found a way to forgive her, and to love her," he said. "And you know now, how much she loved you, from the minute you were born." He turned my face so he could drop a kiss on my lips. "How could she not?"
I held his face, kissing his lips, his eyes, the end of his nose. He chuckled in delight, spreading his thighs and letting me fall deeper into the curve of his body. "I'm here, right here for you," he said, his voice deep and resonant, full of love.
"Always."
Dearest Liberty,
You are the loveliest baby I've ever seen. Tiny and perfect from the moment you were born, somehow you made up for everything else in my whole life. When you look up into my face, so trusting, so beautiful, I know nothing else matters. You are the love of my life.
If you're reading these words now, I guess you already know I left this letter with a nurse named Alice Granger. She was there when you were born and fell in love with you too. Soon, I will give this letter to her and ask her to keep it for you, in case you ever try to find me one day. I'll also give a copy to the adoption agency, although it might never find its way to you. The parents who will take you home and love you as their own daughter will have the final say in that. But I know in my heart you will have a good and loving home, one that will keep you safe forever, the way you deserve. I couldn't leave you without being certain, deep inside, that you'll be safe and loved, in a big family with brothers and sisters. You'll have all the things that I can't give you. And one day, when you have a family of your own, you'll understand the love I have for you.
I'm leaving a locket for you that once belonged to my mother. She gave it to me when I was a little girl. It has a curl of your hair that I saved from the day you were born. I hope you have it now, to remind you that my heart will always be there with you. And even though I won't be there to watch you grow, I want you to know how proud I am of you. You are loving and kind, talented and wise. I can see it in your eyes right now as you watch me. I'm telling you the words as I write them, and you're sucking your thumb and smiling. You're too tiny to understand what I'm saying.
I'm writing this because the doctors say I'm sick. Too sick to be able to stay here with you much longer. But it's okay, because you were born healthy and safe. You're too little to remember me and maybe it's better that way. I'll remember enough for both of us.
Please know that every time you ever cried, in my heart I held your hand. And every time you laughed I heard you, and it made me happy too. I wish I could be right beside you, but please believe me… I will never be far away. If I have anything to teach you, it's only this… Let go of sadness. Be free of it, and brave enough to open your heart to life. Love is out there waiting for you. I found it when I saw your sweet face. You'll find it too, my darling. I promise.
I love you forever, with all my heart and soul,
Your Mom
49
Epilogue, Pt. 1 - Jack
A year later
"Hold still or I'm never going to get this thing tied."
Libby pulled on my silk tie until my face was even with hers. "You know, their wedding is so casual you don't even have to wear this." She kissed the tip of my nose and finished making my knot. I took her hands, swinging them out so I could get a better look at her dress.
"Mmmm… good enough to eat," I growled, pulling her close and tasting the delicate flesh under her ear. Her dress was light green with delicate gray leaves and
vines. It clung to her in places that made me forget all about the family waiting downstairs. But I was the best man, and Blake had been looking pretty dicey. I didn't have long to get him to the gazebo overlooking the lake. And I knew Libby had promised to help Janet with her gown…
Libby laughed and pushed me away gently. But I could tell by the look in her eyes that my brother and his new bride weren't the only ones who had a night to look forward to. I ran my fingers through my wife's silky dark curls, falling loose and soft around her shoulders. I took her hand with the emerald on it and kissed it, my eyes promising delicious and dangerous intentions…
"India's babysitting tonight," I said, running a fingertip under the thin strap of her dress. I ran it down lower and traced the curve of one luscious breast. "I'm going to have you all to myself…" I drank in the excitement that sparkled in her eyes. "What am I going to do with you…"
Her soft, moist lips parted and I heard her pull in her breath to answer. Then a long, high wail crossed the hall, breaking the moment and I caught her in my arms, laughing. "Whatever you do, it's going to have to wait just a little while longer," she laughed back, kissing me quickly and disappearing out the door. She stopped for a moment and looked back at me, glowing with joy and the happiness of new motherhood. She had been beautiful before. Now, she was utterly exquisite.
"We'll meet you at the lake," she said, smiling. "Fifteen minutes till the ceremony, hours before they've all gone home." Her eyes sparkled mischievously. "You'll have plenty of time to decide… just what you're going to do." Her brow twitched playfully. "So will I."
She disappeared, leaving me to take care of Thea's needs. Our daughter had been born with her mother's green eyes and a cry that Libby responded to instinctively. I'd never seen a more loving and patient mother. Every time I watched her take little Thea into her arms, I had the strange sense that there was more love in the room than just our own. In some way, I was sure that Dorothy was with us too, sharing her daughter's joy and supporting her with her love.
I finished dressing and sat for a moment, contemplating the last year of our lives together. Images of Libby's lovely body, rounding with her growing pregnancy… the look on her face when she first held our child… I had everything in life a man could want in that single moment, and yet there had been so much more…
I looked out over the water and could see my family and friends gathered on the sand. Blake and Janet had asked to have their wedding here. They wanted something simple, far less formal than any Mason wedding has ever been. But times are changing and so are some of the old traditions. We were always a strong family, but now we have become even more so. Priorities have shifted, now that Libby and I are parents. Mom and Dad are devoted as grandparents. I've never seen them so happy.
Spencer had come, but he stood nervously on his own. It was still awkward for all of us, but we'd insisted that he come anyway. I watched as Ben shook his hand and sat down beside him.
Spencer had resigned from Mason the day after he'd admitted what he and Elaine had done. But it hadn't been until later that I'd found his handwritten note on my desk. It had been shuffled in amongst some others, as if he'd been too ashamed to face me…
It had detailed Elaine's plan, freely admitting to the wretched part he had played in the scheme. It described how she had seduced him into helping her and, not surprisingly, I had no difficulty believing him. He said he had no excuse for what he'd done, but was committed to repairing what damage he could.
He'd signed over every piece of Mason-Warner stock in his possession, to me and to my family. Though there was nothing he could do about the shares Elaine had purchased, his had been enough to tip the balance back in our favor. That, and a little research of my own…
As soon as the doctor had confirmed Libby's pregnancy, I'd begun to wonder… It hadn't taken long after that to confirm my suspicions. Elaine had kept receipts from her own doctor's visits throughout our marriage, and they'd been left behind in old file boxes after the divorce. In those files, I discovered the real reason she'd never conceived… a simple contraceptive injection, given once every three months. For years, she'd lied to me outright about wanting a child, and in the end had blamed me… And all the while, behind my back, she'd made damned sure there was never a chance of conceiving…
I'd confronted her simply, directly and she'd finally admitted the truth. While I couldn't force her to sell her holdings, I knew she'd no longer cause trouble for us. She wouldn't dare risk the scandal, if the truth came out. My attorney had made significant changes in our original divorce settlement and she'd signed without argument. She was already losing interest in the company., failing to show up for board meetings. The game was finally over…
and she knew she had lost.
I stood up and slipped on my jacket. Pausing for a moment at the door, I watched Libby lift our baby daughter to her shoulder and pat her tiny back gently. Our gaze met over her little shoulder and locked in promise. Nothing in the world would ever matter more than my family. I would spend the rest of my life making Libby as happy as she had made me.
In my wife's face I saw, not only the present and the past, but all the years yet to come. The sounds of happy children. Of skinned knees and birthday parties, first dates… and broken hearts. Thea on her wedding day, as lovely as her mother. And the faraway day when Libby and I would become grandparents ourselves. No matter the shifts and changes of life, no matter the passage of the time, Libby would always be as lovely to me as she was in this very moment. The love of my life, my friend, my wife, the mother of my children…
Mirrors set on either sides of the room caught her beauty, reflecting her back and forth into infinity. This one exquisite woman who had changed my entire world…
She had made every dream come true. Liberty was my family. And in the safety of her love, I was truly and forever home.
50
Epilogue, Pt. 2 - Liberty
Jack and I followed the bride and groom down the green satin path that led to the gazebo. It was simply done, wreathed in flowers and white twinkling lights. Blake was handsome in a dark slacks and jacket. Janet was radiant in her creamy silk dress. They looked at each other with such tenderness, I felt my eyes start to mist over. There was so much love in this amazing place.
There were only a dozen guests, mostly family. Moki scampered happily in the yard, excited by all the activity. We all stood around the couple… Janet's parents… and Vivian and Fletch. It felt as if the couple's commitment was ours, too. The promise to love and cherish one another extending to everyone present, not just to the bride and groom alone.
It was the simple kind of wedding I'd imagined for myself, sometimes. As if it had happened not by plan, but almost by happy accident. I clutched my little bouquet of wildflowers and watched Fletcher give his handkerchief to his wife. She gave him a grateful smile with years of love and devotion behind it.
Thea was asleep in my arms as I stood next to my husband and Reverend Harper began the ceremony. I looked up into Jack's shining eyes as he held his baby son proudly. Ryan was wide awake, his eyes already dark like his father's. He watched Jack, mesmerized, as if his dad's face was his whole world. I remembered the moment Dr. Tiller had told us we were expecting twins. Jack had held me, unable to speak until Dr. Tiller had slipped out of the room and left us in privacy. Later she'd told me, that she'd never seen a man so moved…
I glanced at India, who was stunning, as always. I tried to catch her gaze, but she only had eyes for Matt. He was looking at her the same way Jack looked at me… I glanced away, smiling to myself…
Alice stood next to him, nodding to me gently. She had noticed it too, and approved. We smiled and she looked lovingly at Thea. Alice was fast becoming a second grandma to both babies. She and India would be staying with them next month when Jack and I would be in New York for my second art show. They had also conspired to give Jack and me tonight, our first night alone since the twins had been born…
Jack took the fl
owers from me, dropping them so that he could hold my hand in his. I looked up into his face as we listened to the minister speak about the meaning of love.
I have everything I could have ever dreamed of… more than I'd ever expected life could offer. I wished with all my heart that my mother could have been there beside us. But her warm gold heart rested lightly on my chest, reminding me that perhaps… somehow… she is. Her love lives on in me, just as mine will live on in my own children. And one day, when they're old enough to understand, I'll tell them how much their grandmother loves them. How much she loves all of us. And that it was she… who taught me how to open my heart…
"Do you take this woman to be your wedded wife? To love her and cherish her, to honor and protect her for the rest of this life and beyond?"
"I do," Jack whispered into my ear, his eyes shining with love. "Today… and always…"
"And do you," the minister turned to Janet, "take this man to be you wedded husband? To honor and love him, to share all that you are with him, for the rest of this life and beyond?"
"Forever, Jack," I whispered only to him. "I do."
"With this ring…," Reverend Harper's voice drifted away as I felt Jack slip a ring onto my finger. I looked down to see a tiny, unending circlet of diamonds next to the emerald. "One for each of the babies we'll have," he whispered, his eyes sparkling with desire and delight.
"You may now kiss your bride," the minister said.
And taking me into his arms, babies and all, our love and happiness overflowing to envelop the whole world around us,
Jack did.
Leashing the Virgin
Love? I don’t know the meaning of the word.
It’s pain I understand. And control. Always control.
The Baby Contract Page 18