At that, Ares and Katrina both laughed.
“What?” he asked tersely.
“Nothing,” Ares said. “I think it’s just hard to picture. Badass Hades, one of the best shots in the world and a genius hacker, calling for dating advice. I guess it just tickles my funny bone.”
“I’ll tickle something if you don’t shut up and get serious about this,” Hades grumbled.
Ares laughed. “Wow, Hades, is that an offer? I’ll have to ask Kat. I mean, you never said anything when we served together, but I always got the feeling—”
Hades blanched and hung up, sending the strongest message possible.
When the phone rang, he eyed it angrily. Maybe this was all a big mistake. Ares was a good friend and always the best with women, but Hades didn’t need mockery right now. He’d always been kind of a stern person, but having half his body burned off and getting stared at all the time only made him more prickly.
Luckily, at that moment, Cassie opened the door, peeking out in only a towel. His eyes widened and he quickly looked away, shading his vision. Nothing he hadn’t seen, but he’d promised himself he’d be respectful. He did hope for more between them, but he was her protector first and foremost and always wanted her to feel safe around him.
“Um, I need to get my clothes,” she said.
“Of course,” he said, standing to go and bumping his leg on the corner of the bedframe in his haste to get out.
“Wait,” she said, stifling a giggle. “Maybe you could just hand me my things. I put them out on the bed there.”
His eyes widened as he looked over at the neat pile. Silky pink panties and a matching bra made his throat go dry, but he told himself to soldier up and looked away as he grabbed the things and quickly handed them to her, averting his eyes from her steamy, naked body.
“You want to shower next?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “Will you be okay out here?”
“One sec,” she said, shutting the door to change. When she came out, looking fresh and comfortable, her damp curls surrounding a face that was ten times more relaxed than when she’d first come to him, his whole body froze in response.
“I’m wary of showering and leaving you out here alone. I want to know you feel safe.”
She blinked up at him. “Of course I feel safe. Honestly, the past day, I’ve felt safer than I have in a long time.”
“Maybe I will take one then, real quick,” he said.
She gave him a mischievous smile. “Maybe I could be in there with you, just so you’re reassured?”
One of his eyebrows jumped up. “Really? But you just took a shower.”
She shook her head. “Not like that. I mean I could read in the bathroom or something, but be in sight.”
Damn, his cock liked that idea. But that seemed like too much, even for his rather considerable self-control. “I’ll be fine without a shower. I’ll take one tonight,” he said. “I want to make sure no one has followed us out here.”
“You always were paranoid,” she said.
“When it comes to you?” he asked. “Absolutely. Though I admit my combat experience has only made it that much worse.”
“I’ll bet,” she said. “So what next, then?”
“Breakfast,” he said, ignoring the phone as it buzzed on the bed. Ares could sit and think about what he’d done. Hades was going to make French toast for his woman, whether she liked it or not.
* * *
Cassie didn’t know what had gotten into her, offering to go in the shower with Hades.
Had she just wanted to see his body? She admitted she was curious what he looked like now, with all those muscles and scars.
Her traitorous body didn’t care that she was still hurt by his rejection. It had woken up horny and ready to go the moment she’d seen him lying next to her, his huge arms splayed around him, his beautiful muscles bared in a low-cut shirt.
All through her shower, she’d been thinking of him, even as she tried not to. She couldn’t help imagining how good it would feel if he came in and caressed her skin, washed her, knelt in front of her, pleased her.
She could remember just how good he’d felt. Everything he’d done had always been exquisite, like her body was sensitive only for him. Each place he touched always seemed lit by fire.
He might have been an asshole since he came back, but it didn’t stop her body’s very real need for him.
He was her mate. Her bear still thought that, despite everything that had happened. And her bear wanted him, sensed his alpha male pheromones and what a great protector and provider and lover he would be.
Dear goodness, she wanted to tie him down to the bed and have her way with him. Make him admit it was all a mistake and he’d only ever thought of her. Make him renounce that other woman who’d dared to come between them.
But he wouldn’t even mention that woman, and she couldn’t stand someone who would hide secrets from her. As if he should really think she wouldn’t have noticed someone was staying with him. Did he think she was stupid?
Still, the longer she was with him, the more she just wanted to forget that woman and get back with him, regardless of what he wanted.
Perhaps he just wanted things to go back to normal. But what was normal? Had he ever really felt she was his mate? If he had, he couldn’t have taken up with another woman while rejecting her.
She cursed to herself as she followed him out to the kitchen. There was nothing for it. Sex would only complicate things, as would seeing his delicious body. She would just have to ignore her hormones and see how things worked out between them emotionally.
Perhaps here in the mountains, they really could have another chance.
He turned on the stove and pulled out pans and things from the fridge, which was fully stocked.
“You said this was a friend’s cabin?”
“Yeah,” he said. “You remember me mentioning Zeus?”
“Yeah, your squad leader?”
He nodded and continued getting things ready. She saw him pull out cinnamon and smiled. No one made French toast like he did. “This is his cabin. He found a mate, a woman, and bought a house closer to town.”
She nodded.
“Also, Ares, another of my friends, lives in town. He grew up here and talked Zeus into moving here after we got out.” He gestured out the window to the beautiful trees surrounding them. “I mean, peace and quiet is extra desirable for an ex-Special Forces, for obvious reasons.”
She nodded. “So why didn’t you come out here?”
He stopped in the middle of cracking an egg and stared over at her. “How can you even ask that? I came back to you, of course, like we always said I would.”
She gaped. Why was he acting like he wasn’t the one who sent her away? And then invited in another woman?
“I mean, I knew there was a good chance you wouldn’t want me, with how I’d changed, but you’re my mate. I had to try.”
She bit back the angry words she wanted to say. If I’m your mate, how could you?
But she didn’t want to fight with him. Not when they were stuck here together. She didn’t want her last memories of him to be angry, filled with accusations and defenses. Or worse, lies.
He mixed the ingredients and dipped the first piece of bread before frying it. Then he turned to her, looking unbearably handsome, his dark hair shading his face and his thin tee showing huge muscles and a taut physique.
“What exactly is the problem, Cassie? Why don’t you want me anymore?”
She looked down at her empty plate, telling herself to resist.
“Is it the scars?” he asked. “You claim it’s not. Is it that I don’t seem the same? That I’m mean? Just what the fuck did I do to put that look on your face?”
She slammed her hands on the counter and stood up abruptly. “You know exactly what you did, asshole. And it broke my heart!”
She stormed toward the bedroom and slammed the door behind her. A second later, it op
ened, and Hades walked in, a neutral expression on his face.
“So it was what happened after you came to visit me? When I was first back?” he asked.
She nodded, shocked he would bring it up.
He sighed and leaned against the door. “I can’t change that. I was a fool. A bitter, lost fool.”
She felt bad for him, but not bad enough to forget.
“I wanted you, but I didn’t think it was possible, not with how things were. With my face…”
“What does your face have to do with it?” she snapped. “You should have known it wouldn’t matter to me. You should have known—”
“I wanted to give you everything,” he said, a hard edge to his voice as he stared at her. “I wanted to wait until that was possible. I didn’t want to give you half a man.”
She swallowed. That didn’t explain why he’d given himself to someone else.
“You would never be half a man to me,” she said. “Half of you would still be worth two of anyone else.”
His handsome face went blank with shock, and she turned away.
“I’m sorry, Cassie. That’s all I can say.”
She shook her head. “Me too.”
“But I’m not walking away from this,” he said. “I can feel something between us. I know you still care for me, even if I don’t deserve it. I know it.”
She took a deep breath, steeling herself against the words she knew were true.
“But you might as well start forgiving me, Cassie. Because I’m not that man anymore. Nor am I the man you sent into the army. I’m someone else. Someone damaged and strong. Someone who wants to protect and love you. And if I can’t be the man you once loved, then I’m also not the man you hated for messing things up.”
She exhaled slowly, not knowing what to think. He made sense. It was just… It was complicated.
“Regardless of what’s happened to us, it’s not right for us to be apart. You know that. Your bear knows that, just like mine does. And I’m going to show you. Every day, I’m going to show you that what I did when I came back had nothing to do with how I feel and everything to do with one dark moment in my life.”
She sighed and went to the window, pulling aside the drapes to look out at the beautiful mountain around them. “You’re asking a lot of me,” she said.
“You’re asking a lot of me,” he retorted, folding his arms. “All I’m asking is for you to put away the past and its darkness while you’re here, to give me a chance to win you over again.”
She nodded slowly. It was either that or a long life alone, missing him. She’d never feel this way about another man.
But no other man could hurt her so badly either.
She looked back at him, so handsome, so stubborn. It was clear he wasn’t going to budge. She was seeing more and more of the man she knew back when they’d been younger and full of promise.
She guessed it was worth a shot if they could have anything like they’d had before. And for everything between them, she guessed she could try to forgive him. Try to forget and give him a chance.
“Fine,” she said. “I’ll try to put it behind us. Try to give you a fair chance.”
He nodded slowly, looking pleased.
“But if you hurt me again, I’ll cut you in your sleep.”
His eyebrows shot up. Then he laughed. “Fine, I’d deserve it.”
“One chance,” she said, holding up a finger. “No more. And you better damn well make it up to me. I mean straight up groveling.”
“Okay,” he said. “Whatever you want.”
“I mean on your knees,” she said.
His grinned. “That can be arranged.”
She felt a blush run up into her cheeks, leaving her flustered. “No, not like that. I…”
“Relax, Cass,” he said. “I’m not going to do anything you don’t want.”
“Phew,” she said. “Good.” As much as she wanted to hold him, to touch him, she knew it wasn’t a good idea. She would forgive him, but she wouldn’t be naive. She would go into this clearheaded, and if he touched her, she wouldn’t be able to think.
He gave her an intent look, one that sent heat shooting from her scalp to her toes. “You won’t regret this, Cass.”
“We’ll see,” she said.
He gave her an appraising look. “Trust me. When I set out to do something, I do it. I’m going to make you safe,” he said calmly, even as his gray eyes burned. “And I’m going to make you love me again.”
She held back a sigh. She already loved him.
He reached out a hand. “Come on. Let’s have breakfast. I’m making French toast.”
She sniffed the air. “Speaking of which, I think it’s burning.”
He cursed and ran from the room, leaving her alone with her thoughts and laughing softly at the situation.
She didn’t know if things could ever go back to normal, but at least they’d been addressed. She took a deep breath, pushed the bitterness aside, and walked out of the bedroom and into the light.
5
After Hades put out the small fire that resulted from the untended breakfast he’d been making, he started over from scratch, aware of Cassie’s soft eyes watching him as he worked.
It was a scene he was well familiar with, yet it felt new and fresh, like they were starting again.
He’d never wanted to bring up how cold he’d been when he was first back. How many times he’d sent her away, not wanting her to see him as a monster, while he’d been waiting for his scars to heal.
Perhaps, cowardly, he’d been hoping if he didn’t say anything, it would just go away magically.
But when she’d run from him this morning, he knew the only option left was to admit his fault and apologize. It must have hurt her a lot to be closed out, left in the cold.
It must have been confusing when he did come back, wanting her. He could only hope it was her anger at his actions that spurred her rejection, not that she hated some part of him he couldn’t change.
Like his war trauma or his scars.
But as he served her French toast, encouraging her to eat until she begged for mercy, he was just sorry he hadn’t apologized sooner.
He loved seeing her smile, seeing her cared for and safe. This was his purpose in life, the original reason he’d joined the army, to give them a life together. And now he was on the way to getting it all back.
She groaned and sat on the couch. “I’m stuffed. You’re relentless.”
He grinned. “Gotta maintain those curves. Besides, you looked like you could use a good meal.”
She shook her head. “Only you would say that.”
“I know you better than most,” he said. “And I know how you’re happiest.”
She frowned, and he could see a shadow of the bitterness threatening to overtake her. But she pushed it away, and he was grateful. “I know.”
He moved to sit beside her. “What do you want to do?”
She looked up. “What do you mean? Don’t we just have to wait here?”
“Nonsense. We can hike, climb. Whatever. As long as I’m with you, you’ll be safe.”
She shuddered, and he wasn’t even sure exactly what had caused it. He wanted to put an arm around her, was about to when a knock sounded at the door.
He gave her a quick look of warning and then stood slowly, approaching the door as he pulled a weapon out of his concealed side holster.
He heard a gasp from her at seeing his weapon, but this was something she should probably learn now if she hadn’t already.
These days, he was always armed.
“Hades? You put that gun away,” Ares said. “I’ve got my mate here with me, and I’m about to kick down that door on you if you don’t holster your piece.”
He sighed and did as Ares said. No point holding a weapon on a friend, and he definitely didn’t want to frighten a woman. When it was tucked away, he opened the door.
Ares, his blond, movie-star good-looking friend, and Kat, his curvy,
dark-haired, dark-skinned mate, were standing on the porch. Ares looked curious; Kat looked wary.
Hades knew why they were there. To see what the infamous Hades looked like when trying to woo a woman. They probably thought it was hilarious and decided to pester him in person after being so unhelpful over the phone.
“What are you doing here?” he asked grumpily, angry to be interrupted and because they’d startled his mate.
Ares pushed past him, walking in the house and looking around until he saw Cassie in the middle. He held his mate around the middle and grinned over at Hades. “She’s beautiful.”
His mate ribbed him, and he laughed and corrected himself. “For Hades, I mean.” He walked forward and reached out to take Cassie’s hand. “I’m Ares, this grumpy Gus’s friend,” he said. “Nice to meet you.”
Kat put out a hand and introduced herself as well, and Cassie gave Hades a confused look as they all sat down to talk.
“So how do you know Hades?” Kat asked, looking interested.
Hades sighed and sat back in his seat, impatient to be alone with his mate again and continue winning her over.
Cassie bit her lip and tucked back a curl. He waited for it to spring free, counting three seconds until it did, making him grin. “We grew up together. Well, more or less. After he moved out of Richmond that is.”
Ares grinned and gave Hades a knowing glare. “So the kid from the gutter won over the prom queen. Is that it?”
“I was hardly the prom queen,” Cassie said with a snort. “More like the library queen.”
Kat grinned. “Me too.”
The women looked like they would get along fine, and Hades assumed that was a good thing. An advantage. In winning over Cassie, he’d take any advantage he could get.
“Anyway,” Hades said. “We’ve known each other a long time.”
“Though I always knew him as John,” Cassie said.
“John,” Kat said, giving Hades a mischievous look. “Should we be calling you that too?”
Ares shook his head, wrinkling his nose. “No way. Not when you’ve seen the kind of hell this man can raise. John is just not right anymore.”
Big Strong Bear (Soldier Bears Book 3) Page 4