by Ciara Shayee
They were a million miles from that moment—both figuratively and literally. They'd both come so far, both grown so much.
His hand moved of its own accord, shifting down to gently hold her chin between his thumb and forefinger. He ran the tip of his thumb over her lower lip, unable to hold back his tremulous grin when, as he let go, she immediately pulled it between her teeth.
“Marley does that, too,” he whispered, his eyes following his hand as he slowly smoothed it down, over her neck, to tickle the soft skin in the juncture between neck and shoulder.
Electricity crackled in the space between their bodies. Laker wondered if she felt it too. A shiver rippled through his body as he let his hand fall away from her, resting beside its twin on his bent knees.
His eyes flicked back up to Indie’s, finding confusion and worry within her gaze. It was the trust lurking in the back that made him pause. She trusted him. For whatever reason, she always had. Would she ever forgive him if he broke that trust now with his inability to let her be?
His inability to stop loving her?
All right, McKinley, this is it. Be brave. 20...19…
“Indie, my sweet bella ragazza, I need to tell you something, but I…”
16...15…
“I don't want you to feel like you have to say anything back, okay? No pressure. None at all. I just want you to know, because, well—”
11...10…
“I can't hold it in anymore. You probably already know, or guessed, or the others have at least. And Marley…she's all over it, little smarty-pants.”
Frowning, Indie listened to Laker’s rambling in silence, her eyes darting between his troubled frown and pursed mouth as he spoke.
6...5…
“I don't even really know when it happened, just that it has, and I'm so tired of not being able to just, say it.”
2...1…
“All right, McKinley. Twenty seconds are up. Here goes,” Laker mumbled to himself before meeting Indie’s gaze again, cupping her face between his large, gentle hands with a slow and steady sigh.
Whatever happened now, whatever she said or didn't say, Laker couldn't keep it in any longer. He had to risk it—he had to try.
And maybe, just maybe, twenty seconds of bravery would result in something great.
“Indie…I love you.”
chapter thirty-five
As the words fell from his lips, wrapping around Indie like a warm, but unfamiliar, blanket, the brightest grin spread across Laker’s face. His lips curled upwards, twin dimples bookending his boyish smile as he released a long breath.
“It feels so good to finally say it. I've felt it, known it, for so long. You don't have to say anything, okay? Nothing at all. I just wanted you to know. I don't know, maybe that's selfish, but I couldn't hold it in anymore.”
It felt like an eternity passed before she gave any indication that she'd actually heard him.
Finally, as Laker’s heart began to sink, she inhaled a sharp breath. Emotions moving too quickly for Laker to identify crossed Indie’s face—her eyes intense in their beauty and enlightenment.
“Indie, I’m so—”
“Don't. Don't say it.”
Laker’s mouth snapped shut with an audible click.
She drew in a breath and held it as she moved to mirror Laker and place her hands on top of his to stop him moving them away from her face. At that moment, he was the only thing rooting her to the earth. Indie was afraid that, if he let go, she'd float away.
Up on her knees in front of him, she let her eyes drift over Laker, just absorbing.
Indie, I love you. I love you. I love you…
It felt surreal.
Laker…loves me?
Indie ran her fingertips over the backs of his hands, moving them slowly up, over his wrists, forearms, and biceps. So strong, so muscular. His obvious strength should be intimidating, but it wasn't. His volume and force of character should have terrified her, but he'd always been different with her. Softer. Gentler.
Loving?
As she looked back through their time together, both before and after her abduction, the realisation that, yes, he was loving in his actions with her came swiftly. It didn't take a genius to see it, yet Indie had been hopelessly oblivious all this time. Ever since that day, when he carried her through the smoke and flames to safety, he’d been there. Always attuned to her needs and wants, always willing to move heaven and earth to make her happy.
During the journey from the motel to the safe house back in Montana, he’d held her, sacrificing his own well-being so that she could be comfortable.
At the safe house, when she’d become overwhelmed upon seeing Reagan for the first time in twelve years, he’d shown her how to relax and accept that her mind wasn’t tricking her.
While nightmares and panic attacks rendered her useless at taking care of Marley without frightening her, Laker stepped up.
When they’d gone to the hospital and had to face more demons than anyone could count, he’d been steadfast in his support of both her and Marley. He’d been the easy, uncomplicated friend she needed. There was no pressure with him like there was with her family, and it was this that allowed her to relax.
She’d instinctively trusted him from the outset—with her own safety, as well as with Marley. Her daughter, her most precious treasure, had attached herself to this man whom she’d never met. She saw something in him that helped her trust him. Could it be the same thing, the same connection, Indie felt whenever he was near? Whether it was because he’d been the one to rescue her from the fire, she wasn’t sure, but her mind had always known Laker was safe.
Had always known that he’d catch her when she fell.
Laker had comforted her on the plane ride back to England and entertained Marley during the car journey, knowing she would be able to keep herself calm if she wasn’t worrying herself sick over Marley’s reactions to her drastically different surroundings. In taking care of Marley, he’d taken care of Indie.
In the weeks since their return to England, he soothed her through panic attacks, nightmares, fears of inadequacy, and coached her as she adjusted to real life.
Because the life they’d been living? It wasn’t real.
It was the stuff of nightmares.
He’d been so gentle as he held her panic attacks at bay. So calm and steady. An anchor for her to hang onto while she fought the demons in her mind.
“Anything you need, you only have to ask, okay? I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
And he hadn’t. He’d given up his life in Italy to spend the past year, almost, in England. Indie knew, thanks to Archie, that Laker made most of his money on social media with his music, and topped up his income with his skills in woodworking. All of that, it was here, where he lived just a short drive away from his grandparents.
He’d left it all behind to jump on a plane to England, then Montana. For her, and for her family.
And he’d stayed.
Indie released a long breath, her hand dropping gently to clasp the fabric of Laker’s shirt at his side. Even with the material in the way, she knew exactly where the scar marred his skin. She’d seen the nurses and doctors cleaning it and dressing it, over and over and over. She’d seen the jagged pink lines marking his otherwise flawless torso when he stripped off to swim with Marley.
And she’d seen him wince when he stretched a little too far.
Eyes flitting upwards, Indie peered at Laker’s solemn, patient face from beneath her lashes. This was a man who’d risked everything to save her. A man who’d very nearly paid the ultimate price in his attempts to rescue her from Garrett.
And here he was, baring his soul and admitting that he loved her. This beautiful, kind, generous man, on his knees saying the three little words every woman longed to hear. To her. A broken girl with a truckload of baggage.
But did she love him?
Indie’s mind was in turmoil. Her heart was racing, her too-small lungs unable to
take in a deep enough breath to provide relief. A million thoughts stung at her mind like tiny bees trapped in her brain, all vying for attention. She sucked in a breath, feeling tears prickle at her eyes. She’d never been in love before. She’d never thought about it, read romance novels, or watched romantic movies with love-struck leads. It had never even been on her radar.
Until now.
What even is love?
Is it unwavering support? Comfort whenever you need it? Is love the warm feeling that spreads through your body when you watch that special someone playing with your daughter, tickling her until she screams? Or rocking your baby son to sleep, singing softly to soothe him? Indie didn’t know—she couldn’t be sure.
“Laker, I—” She stopped, looking at the sky for a moment in an attempt to gather her thoughts. The fairy lights glittered above, a twinkling canopy overhead. When she looked back to Laker, her lips automatically curled up into a smile. The glow of the lights made his chocolate locks shine a deep, rich chestnut, picking out the golden highlights brought out by the sun.
Laker let his hands fall to his lap, a shiver rippling through his body when she reached up to run the backs of her fingers over his beard-covered jaw.
“I don’t know if…if I’m there yet. I don’t, um, I don’t know what that feels like. To be in love? I don’t know what that feels like—”
“Can I stop you for just a second?” Laker asked softly.
Indie huffed, nodding with a tiny, grateful smile. Truthfully, she hadn’t had any clue what to say.
Laker’s lips curled up on one side. “When I decided to tell you, I knew you wouldn’t say it back, Indie. I didn’t tell you this to make you say it back—that was never my intention. I just wanted you to know. If you ever feel the same…well, I’ll be here. If not? That’s okay, too.”
He’d barely finished speaking before she slammed into his chest, winding her arms around his neck and burying her face in his neck. He steadied himself, and her, with a quiet oomph, bracing himself on one arm before wrapping her up in his embrace once he was sure they wouldn’t tip over. She held on tight, soft puffs of breath warming the skin of his neck and shoulder.
“Indie? Are you okay?”
“Overwhelmed. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t say it back yet.”
Smiling against Indie’s hair, Laker closed his eyes and released a long sigh. It was relief, affection, and sheer happiness at having his beloved in his arms. She was warm, fit perfectly against his chest, and smelled sweet and perfect. “Just you saying ‘yet’ is enough for me, bella ragazza.”
Indie pulled back, all beautiful sea blue-green eyes and sweet, bashful smiles. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone, Laker. I guess I just need…”
“Time?”
She nodded, settling her face back into the crook of his neck. Laker’s grin stretched wide as he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head and, for the first time in a long time, let himself relax and consider the possibility that, one day, Indie might just love him back after all.
~ oOo ~
The following morning, Indie woke slowly, wondering why she was too hot and why she felt as though she'd overslept.
A smile played on her lips when memories from the previous night began to swirl through her mind. She sighed, letting her eyes fall shut as she replayed the evening in her head.
Laker was so sweet, so tender. His words played on a loop, over and over, drumming themselves into her heart.
Indie, I love you.
A soft, quiet, sleepy grumble from behind Indie made her eyes snap open. Carefully, so as not to wake the owner of the arm draped over her waist, she rolled to face her visitor.
Grace’s eyes were still closed, her chest rising and falling with deep, even breaths. She was still asleep.
Sighing, Indie began to wonder what she'd tell her. When she and Laker had eventually remembered the rest of their family, they were alone outside. Everyone had disappeared—neither of them knew exactly when they'd left. A note had been taped to Indie’s door, simply telling her that Reagan was taking Bodhi and Marley for a sleepover, and that was that.
But she couldn't help but wonder when they'd all left—couldn't help but wonder what they'd seen or heard.
She wasn't even sure she really remembered it right. It didn't seem real that Laker, strong, beautiful Laker, had professed his love for her.
Had he really? Indie couldn't help but question her memories.
“Why do you look so stressed? It's too early to be so brooding.”
Indie met Grace’s gaze. Her baby-blue eyes were tinged with curiosity, but mostly just showed happiness. Suddenly, Indie suspected that she, at least, had seen her exchange with Laker.
“I was just thinking. Wondering how I ended up sharing my bed.”
As she stretched herself out lithely, humming at the pleasure, Grace grinned. “I didn't want you to escape without dishing, so I figured I'd make sure I saw you before you got up. Plus, Carl-Roman ran past my room at seven screaming for the pool, so I was awake anyway.”
Frowning, Indie rolled over to see the clock. 9:43.
“I've slept in.”
Grace nodded. “Yeah, not complaining. Late night last night, early awakening. Hang on, I need the loo. Don't go anywhere.”
Grace pointed her finger at Indie, telling her to stay put, and scampered away into the bathroom. Indie smiled, flopping back onto the pillows. Even though she suspected she was about to be thoroughly interrogated about her evening, Indie couldn't help but grin.
This was what it always should have been like.
She and Grace should have done this a thousand times by now. They should have had girly sleepovers dishing the dirt about boys they liked at school or their crush from the park.
But those things had been stolen from them.
“Hey! Quit with the serious look. I would've thought you'd be in a super mood this morning after last night.”
Deciding to play with Grace a little, Indie plastered a confused look on her face. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I figured after a chat with a certain handsome Italian, you'd be bouncing off the walls this morning!” Grace threw herself down on the bed, lying parallel with Indie, her head propped up on her bent elbow.
“I don't know what you mean. I just thanked him for the beautiful song…” Indie trailed off, remembering.
Eyes like the ocean, deep and blue.
I always loved the sea, but amore it's got nothin’ on you.
“Indie, don't even try it. I saw you all cosied up. I spied, so don't even give me the innocent speech,” Grace laughed at the stunned look on Indie’s face.
“You...you spied?”
“Of course! Jesus, Indie, we've been waiting forever for you two to open your eyes!”
“I…I'm shocked!”
“Yeah, yeah—you're shocked, I'm sorry, blah. Now dish, missy.”
Sighing, Indie recognised the determination in Grace’s face and decided it wasn't worth fighting her. To be honest, Grace might even be able to help her get her thoughts in order.
“He…” A smile took over her entire face as she sighed girlishly, “he said he loves me.”
Grace squealed, shoving herself up to sit cross-legged. “Seriously? He finally said it?”
“You knew?”
“Of course! It's so obvious. We all wondered if he'd ever get the courage to tell you.” Smiling warily, Grace reached forward to twist a lock of Indie’s hair around her pinky finger. “How do you feel about it? You don't seem as excited as I thought you would.”
“I don't really know. I mean, I'm a little…overwhelmed? I guess I just really didn't expect it. And after that song…”
“I know, right?” Grace sighed a long, girlish sound. “So beautiful. And all for you, you lucky thing.”
Indie grimaced. “That's just it. He's so amazing, and I'm just…this. I'm a mess compared to him.”
“No, Indie. Don’t say that. Look, when we first came back?
We were both messes. Agreed?”
Indie snorted at the understatement, nodding. ‘Mess’ doesn’t even come close.
“Right. But now? Jesus, Indie, look how much better we are! I mean, you’re basically a completely different person! You’re the most amazing mum to Mars and Bodhi, you’re conquering all of your fears one by one, and you’re still managing to be the nurturing, kind person you’ve always been. It’s crazy how far you’ve come, Indie.” Grace sighed.
“I’m so proud of you, you know? Really, I am. So don’t let your nerves get the better of you with Laker. That man loves you to pieces—a blind person could see it. All you’ve got to do is let him.”
“All right,” Indie sniffled, a touch overwhelmed by Grace’s lovely words. She didn’t know Grace saw her that way—that she’d thought those things about her. “When did you get so smart?”
“Eh, I’ve always been this smart. I just had to hide some of my intelligence to make you feel better.”
Mock-outraged, Indie stuck her hand right into the space between Grace’s neck and shoulder, tickling her until she was writhing around the bed in fits of giggles and breathlessly panting for mercy.
“You’re mean, Indie Ashby,” she eventually huffed when Indie relented with a laugh and let her go, moving off the bed to slide on her slippers and thin cotton robe. “I take back all the nice things I just said.”
Smiling in the doorway of the attached bathroom, Indie shook her head. “No take-backs, Gracie.”
Grace stuck her tongue out at Indie’s disappearing back, flopping onto the cushions to catch her breath with a beaming smile on her face. She lifted only her head when Indie quietly called her name.
She popped her head around the doorframe, a small grin in place and a new softness to her eyes. “Gracie? I’m proud of you, too. I’m proud of us. All of us.”
Grace nodded, swallowing around the lump that had suddenly taken up residence in her throat. “Me too, Indie.”