by Ciara Shayee
“Yes, honey?”
“What was his meeting about? I mean, he said it was work, but...well, I don’t think I even really understand what he does for a living.”
As Sarah pulled Reagan’s laptop over and booted it up, she murmured, “It’ll be easier to show you, I think.”
A few minutes passed and left Indie agog at how quickly Sarah could use the computer. She still struggled just to find the power button, let alone type so quickly. The screen changed, Sarah pulling up a page Indie recognised. Marley had quite the YouTube addiction at one point—back in Montana when she was discovering television and cartoons for the first time. Thankfully, she far preferred toys and human interaction now, but her love of cartoons hadn’t waned—nor had her love of watching dog videos.
Sarah clicked through a few links, typed in her email and password, and up came a page for one, Laker Jaxon McKinley. His face appeared on the left-hand side with a collection of videos below, all with his name in the title section along with the names of the songs.
“This is his music channel, where he posts all of his covers.”
“And he earns money like this?” Indie asked with obvious wonder, reaching out to touch his face. The photo he’d chosen was simple—a headshot with his crooked smile and mint-green eyes filling up the display.
“He does. I don’t really understand it all that well myself, but I believe the website pays him for the amount of views he gets. He or Andy would be able to explain better. Laker is so talented that he could have probably done so much more, but it never appealed. He’s been content with his lot.” Sarah turned to Indie, pride lighting her eyes from within.
She wasn’t biologically related to Laker, but at that moment, Indie could see him in Sarah’s face. The look of love and pride she wore for him was identical to the look that always, without fail, took over his face when he looked at Marley and Bodhi.
“Andy and I, we’ve offered to help him, but he’s been happy with what he had. When he got his trust fund he invested it wisely, with Andy’s advice, and then started work on the house in Italy. He’s always been content with his home, his singing here,” she paused to point at the laptop screen, “and his woodworking. It’s always been enough for him. I do wonder if that’s still the case, but he hasn’t said anything, so I don’t like to push.”
Indie frowned. “What do you mean? Why wouldn’t it still be enough to make him happy?”
Sarah’s eyes were warm and intensely knowing as she laughed lightly. “Oh, sweet girl, he’s told you, hasn’t he? That he loves you? How could he possibly return to the life he had before, now he knows what it’s truly like to live and be happy? He wasn’t before. Happy, I mean. Not in all the ways that count. Here, look.”
Sarah scrolled down, selecting a video. Up it came, Laker’s handsome face sideways on the camera. He was sitting in front of a piano dressed in a simple black t-shirt and grey trousers. He began to sing a song Indie didn’t recognise; the title revealed its name to be Chasing Cars. It was haunting and intense, melancholy and over all too soon.
“This was three years ago,” Sarah said quietly, pressing buttons to return to the first screen. Indie’s eyes found Laker’s once again, her heart starting to race as Sarah clicked on a video dated only a month previous.
May 5th, 2017.
It was entitled ‘Can I – Tedy (EC Cover)’
Indie wasn’t a music buff by any stretch of the imagination, so it came as no surprise to her when she didn’t recognise the song by name or tune.
Twelve seconds in, Indie inhaled a sharp breath.
It was a song about pleading for the one you love.
The pitch and volume of Laker’s voice changed, goosebumps rising all over her body. Tears tumbled over Indie’s cheeks, her hand absentmindedly reaching up to dash them away as she listened. Blood rushed through Indie’s veins as she watched Laker play the piano. His fingers, long and elegant, worked the keys as though they owned them. His body was hunched slightly over the baby grand and his body moved in a wave as he played, his entire being caught up in the music.
As he sung the next lyric, Indie’s was sure she saw a wince cross his features. Lost in his expressions and movement, her attention snapped back to the actual words when, with an almost pained look on his face, Laker sang a request to be allowed to love.
The deep music paired with his compelling vocals were creating a tumultuous cacophony of emotions within Indie’s mind and heart. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t feel anything but the notes imprinting themselves on her soul.
When the music tapered out, leaving silence in its wake, Indie finally relaxed her taut muscles—only then did she realise just how tense she’d been.
“So you see, don’t you? How different the two were?”
Indie nodded slowly, too choked up to speak just yet. The intensity in both was immense. But in the second piece, Laker had been visibly invested—in the words he sang and the notes he played. He’d meant it. Really, truly meant it. And, like Indie, he’d felt every single nuance of the song.
“Laker stayed in England for two years after you and Grace were taken, then he returned to Italy. He visited often, of course, but he wasn’t the same boy. He’d lost his endless optimism after seeing how cruel the world could really be. He found music and it did help, for a time. I don’t want to betray his confidence, but his parents went through a trial separation in two thousand and seven, which affected him deeply, too.” Sarah sighed, nostalgia clouding her eyes.
“He was a very serious young man for a long time. It broke our hearts, Andy and me, to see him lose his spark and become so isolated. So you see, that’s why we’re all so happy to have him home again. To have him smiling and laughing like he does when he’s with you and the children.”
As Laker carefully tipped the children over into the grass where he knelt, Indie winced. His shirt rode up to expose the messy scar on his side. It wasn’t the appearance that garnered the wince from Indie—he was beautiful, regardless. It was the reminder of the pain he’d had to endure to bring him to this point.
To bring him to her.
In the year Laker and Indie had been reunited, the large man and all his traits had become dear to her.
His joviality, loud nature, and optimistic spirit.
His softness, tenderness, and love for all the children.
The way he fit so perfectly in her family.
His adoration for Marley and Bodhi.
The way he cradled her daughter as he threw her over one shoulder, Carl-Roman and Dave draping themselves over his lap and shoulder with wide grins on their faces…
These things told her more than enough about his character.
Laker wore the beginnings of a crooked smile, hints of his dimples lending him an almost cherubic look. It was tempered by the neatly trimmed beard shadowing his jaw which gave him a rugged edge. The soft, happy green of his eyes was a sharp contrast to the dark mop of hair on top of his head, and as he rose to stand and stomp around the garden making dinosaur noises, Indie didn’t worry for the children dangling from his six-foot-three frame.
She trusted him completely.
It was difficult to believe that just a year and a half ago he’d been nothing more than a memory from a stolen childhood.
~ oOo ~
“Come on, Carl-Roman! Enough splashing in the sink, please.”
“All right, Auntie Indie. Just comin’!”
Indie sighed, but she was smiling as she waited for Carl-Roman to leave the bathroom. Bodhi babbled happily in her arms, content to munch on his prawn cocktail seashells. He had two in each chubby fist and several mashed into his curls.
The bathroom door flew open, Carl-Roman grinning wide as he shot past his auntie and ran down the stairs.
Indie quickly took care of business before following him. She was just reaching the bottom of the stairs as Sarah began closing the front door.
“Who was that?”
Sarah shrugged. “A nice young man. I
think he had the wrong address, poor love.”
As she swung the door closed, Indie caught a quick glimpse of the man climbing into a small car on the other side of the road. He looked familiar, but somehow not—she couldn’t place him.
“Indie, Sass! We’re doing the cake!”
Andy’s voice from the kitchen distracted Indie and Sarah—the duo headed through to the garden where everybody was gathering around the table. A large chocolate cake sat in the centre. It had been decorated with hundreds of sprinkles and shiny, silver balls. There was frosting all the way around, and once Archie had blown out his candles and cut the cake at the children’s insistence, everybody cheered when the multi-coloured layers became visible.
“Ooh, a rainbow!” Marley breathed from Laker’s shoulders, leaning with her elbows on his head, face resting in the ‘v’ of her cupped hands.
He tickled her feet, grinning at the giggles it elicited. She reached down and cupped his beard-covered chin, tipping his face up toward her. Indie heard the quiet click of a camera; Grace was a few feet away, her camera pointing right at Laker and Marley’s matching, goofy grins.
“You know, Little Sweet, I have it on good authority that the cupcakes have rainbows inside, too.”
Marley’s little face lit up. Hours of charging around with her cousins had left her with a wild mane of chocolate curls, rosy cheeks, and bright eyes. Laker’s admission put the widest of smiles on her face. “Really?”
“Mmhm. Shall we go check?”
“Yessss!” She gently tugged at his mess of chocolate hair, then caught Indie’s gaze. “Mamma, you gotta come! Laker said there are rainbow cupcakes!”
Indie shook her head with a little laugh and followed Laker and Marley over to the buffet table, Bodhi leaning forward in her arms to try and grab at the multi-coloured icing on top of the cupcakes. She took one with minimal frosting and broke off a piece of cake, holding it out to him as Marley selected hers—frosted with a mountain of red buttercream.
Bodhi chowed down without reservation, smashing the fistful of cake against his grin as Indie laughed at him.
“Looks like the little man’s enjoying his cake,” Laker chuckled, the sound sending ripples of butterflies through Indie’s stomach.
She peered up at him through her lashes, unable to stop herself from staring. His eyes were so beautifully vivid, so entrancingly green interspersed with specks of gold, brown, and blue. A month in Italy coupled with his naturally tanned complexion had left him with a gorgeous, honey tone to his skin, and his long, thick lashes brushed sharp cheekbones every time he blinked.
The ice blue, short-sleeved cotton shirt he’d chosen complimented his tan and fit him perfectly. Indie could see the definition of his muscles, but it wasn’t obnoxiously tight. He’d paired it with cream cargo shorts identical to Bodhi’s and was wearing the brown boat shoes again; she was fairly certain he’d had coaching on what to wear from a meddling, six-year-old girl.
“Mama-MA!”
Indie was yanked from her perusal of Laker by her son. She looked down at his cake-covered face in wonder, blinking owlishly. Laker laughed, but the sound was shaky, and when she glanced at him, he had misty eyes.
“Did you say ‘Mamma,’ baby Bodhi? Did you? Did you say ‘Mamma?’” Marley cooed excitedly, wiggling on Laker’s shoulders.
Bodhi grinned, delighted with the attention he was getting. He smacked his frosting-covered hands against Indie’s chest; she wasn’t in the least bit bothered about the mess.
“Ahhhhmamabah!” he babbled, big, blue-green eyes happy and guileless. Smiling through her slight pang of disappointment, Indie reached up to brush a rogue curl from his forehead.
“He’s just vocalising,” she murmured.
Laker shook his head and cleared his throat, reaching out for Bodhi. Indie handed him over just as her name was called from inside.
“Are you okay with them for a sec?”
Nodding, Laker gently tickled Bodhi’s chubby thigh, grinning at the resulting belly-chuckles as Indie walked toward the house. She was just a few steps away from the door when she heard it.
She spun and froze, her smile wide and face damp with the tears that overflowed as she found Bodhi, still in Laker’s arms but reaching as far toward her as possible, chubby hands outstretched and grabbing the air as he repeated the same word over and over—sweet brows furrowed and chunky legs kicking.
“Mamma! Mamma, Mamma, Mamma!”
Not that she noticed, but the entire garden was watching as Indie all but sprinted back to her baby, scooping him from Laker’s arms to smother his face in kisses. Marley cheered from Laker’s shoulders; he held one of her legs with one hand, reaching out to brush tears from Indie’s cheeks with the other.
“He’s saying it, isn’t he?” Indie asked in a choked whisper.
Laker nodded, his grin a mile wide and bookended by a twin pair of dimples. “Yeah, he is.”
Bodhi smiled his two-toothy grin, patting his mother’s wet cheeks. “Mamma!”
She sniffled, giving her sweet boy an Eskimo kiss. “That’s right, baby boy. I’m Mamma.”
Looking up at Laker, Indie both saw and felt his pride. She had a strange sense of camaraderie—a feeling of knowing that he was there with her, that she wasn’t alone in raising this baby boy and his sister.
For the first time, she realised that it had been this way ever since she came home. She’d recognised Laker’s almost parental role in Marley’s life before but had never really considered how it would grow and extend.
It had, and would continue to do so because he adored her, and she idolised him. Bodhi, too. Even though he was a total mamma’s boy, Bodhi was always overjoyed to see Laker. He came in a close third behind Indie and Marley on Bodhi’s list of favourite people.
If she was honest with herself, Indie probably would have admitted that Laker was definitely Marley’s number one. The sun rose and set with Laker, in her daughter’s eyes—Indie was only now starting to come to the conclusion that she felt the same way.
~ oOo ~
“Thanks for coming, squirt. And thanks for my presents.”
Indie smiled, hugging Archie around the neck with her free arm; Bodhi was fast asleep against her shoulder, his drool running down her back. “You’re welcome, Arch. Thank you for having us. Did you have a good day?”
Archie grinned. “The best.”
“Bye, Zio Archi-ee!” Marley sang as she ran up the pathway and scaled her uncle’s legs.
“Uh, I think you’re supposed to be in the car, little lady,” Archie chuckled, holding her tight for a cuddle anyway.
“I gots’ta give you one last birthday, squeezy cuddle though!”
“All right. Well, thank you, Mars.”
Marley squeezed Archie tight, pressed a smacking kiss to his cheek, and scrambled down to run back to the car where Reagan waited with an indulgent smile. As he buckled her into her car seat, Laker joined Archie and Indie on the doorstep.
“Happy birthday, man. See you tomorrow, yeah?”
“Definitely. We’re meeting at the park, aren’t we?”
“Yep.” Laker turned his gaze to Indie. “You want me to take the little man?”
She shook her head. He was killing her arm, but like Marley, it wouldn’t be long before he was too big and too cool to want cuddles from his mamma. “It’s okay. Thank you, though. All right, I’m going to get these babies home to bed. See you tomorrow for dinner, okay?”
Archie nodded, leaning in to kiss his nephew’s curl-covered head and shake Laker’s hand. “See ya, guys. Thanks again for today!”
Indie managed to strap Bodhi into his seat without waking him, and Marley soon joined her little brother in the land of nod. When they reached home, Laker murmured that he’d get her, so Indie carefully carried Bodhi inside with Reagan walking ahead to unlock the door and carry the foil-wrapped cake parcels. When she turned to check that Laker was right behind them she couldn’t help but swallow hard and inhale a sharp breath.
He was walking up the path carrying Marley against his chest—her little head tucked against his shoulder, one hand slung up around his neck, the other clenched in the material of his shirt. As he walked, Laker leaned down to kiss her forehead, the serene smile on his face almost angelic. Indie wished she had a camera in hand, though even without a photo she knew she’d never forget the loving look on his face as he stared down at Marley.
It was the look of a father gazing at his daughter.
“You coming in, Indie?”
“Yes! Umm, yeah, I am.” She quickly hurried inside, darting up the stairs with Bodhi after tossing a ‘goodnight’ over her shoulder. She managed to settle Bodhi in his crib and turned just in time to see Laker enter her room with Marley.
“Do you want her sleeping in this, or…?”
Indie paused, debating. If she undressed Marley and woke her, it was unlikely she’d get her back to sleep again. But it was hot in the bedroom, and Marley often woke in the night if she was too warm. “I’d better take it off, or she’ll get too hot.”
He nodded, slowly resting Marley on the edge of her bed in an almost upright position. She was just vertical enough that Indie managed to slip the dress over her head, leaving her in just a white vest and her undies once she’d carefully removed her shoes. He leaned down and kissed her mop of chocolate curls. Indie couldn’t watch.
“All right, I’m going to head home. Thanks for a lovely day, Pie.”
Uncharacteristically nervous, Indie whispered her ‘you’re welcome, thank you for all your help’ and ducked her head when Laker offered her a parting smile. When she heard the soft click of her bedroom door closing behind him, she let her head fall back and stared at the ceiling for a moment—her heart racing, stomach churning.
“What am I doing?” she whispered into the otherwise silent room.
For the first time, she wondered if she should let Laker continue acting the way he did with Marley and Bodhi. She’d seen Archie with his boys, Mark with Clarke and Dave, and if she didn’t know better, she’d think Laker was Marley and Bodhi’s dad based on their interactions. It was heart-warming to see and Indie loved that they had so many positive role models in their lives.