When I’m with you, you let me know
There’s nobody that you want closer
“No, no, no,” Lou yelled into the mic, cutting off Jan. “Do it again, this time snappier.”
She nodded, and the sound guy restarted the music track. Jan got through about the same four lines before Lou stopped her again. “I said snappier, not staccato. Again. I want happy, happy.”
The track started again, and Jan kept her eyes lowered. From where Dino stood, off to the side watching, her shoulders slumped a little more each time Lou berated her. This time she got to the second verse, and the sound of her voice went from plush velvet to soft yearning, the tone heartbreakingly beautiful.
Our times apart, they leave me shaking
Out of breath and out of words
Do I walk in the right direction
To see me safe, no longer hurt
“Dammit, no.” A squeal sounded through the mic as Lou wrenched it upward. Jan pulled her headphones away from her ears and winced. “Happy, I said. Be happy. You do know how to be happy, right, cupcake? No one wants to hear your mopey, sad songs anymore.”
Jan nodded, her gaze lowered as she started the vocals again.
Tension rising over Lou’s belligerence, Dino stepped closer, his anger simmering below the surface. “You’re being a little hard on her, aren’t you?”
Lou gave him a dismissive glance. “That’s my job. Someone’s got to tell her the truth.”
“What is the truth?”
Lou straightened and crossed his arms. “You listen to the radio lately? Her music would be right at home at a funeral. The whole ‘woe is me’ image worked at first—especially with her male fans, who imagined they’d swoop in like some knight in shining armor and whisk her away from all the pain. But that image isn’t selling anymore. If we don’t start moving some songs in the digital marketplace, her record company might not renew her contract. The world has enough heartbreak. People want happy songs these days. Upbeat.”
Lie with me
And stare at the stars
We’ll make believe
That life isn’t hard
Over the sound system, Jan’s voice broke. She shook her head and left the booth, walking out into the production area then heading for the door. “I’m sorry. I just need a minute.”
Her gaze met Dino’s, her blue-gray eyes filled with sorrow, before she turned away and headed down the stairs. The look seared his soul and took him right back to the day she’d left him alone, cold and confused on the sidewalk in front of her house. The day she’d ripped his heart to shreds and left him for reasons he still didn’t know. He didn’t know what had happened back then, but right now, he knew one thing for sure—he wasn’t the only one still affected by that day.
Dino gave Lou a warning look then followed after her, tracking her across the lobby and into her dressing room. If her asshole manager had broken Jan’s vibrant spirit, he’d give that guy a whole new version of the truth. His fist tightened, and he felt the hot rush of his temper flare. Calm down. You can’t solve everything with your fists.
Pulse thudding loud in his ears, he approached her door then hesitated. What would he do when he walked in? Confront her about that long-ago day at her house? Comfort her for the slights inflicted by Lou in the present? He wasn’t sure. All he was sure of at that moment was that Jan needed him and he would be there for her, whatever it took.
He pushed the door open a crack. Jan sat on a chair, her back to him, her head tilted back, face toward the ceiling. He remembered that pose. The one she always took when she was frustrated over her math homework or she’d just gotten into another fight with her mother. The one she used to battle back her tears. The thought of her crying made his already-battered heart bleed.
After stepping inside, he pushed the door closed behind him and approached her slowly. She didn’t turn around, and he didn’t want to startle her, so he laid a tentative hand on her shoulder. “Jan, are you okay?”
Electric jolts of awareness zoomed up his arm from the light touch, and more memories bombarded his mind. Their first kiss, holding her and stroking her as she came undone in his arms. His body responded and tightened and all he could think of was her—her smell, her touch, her taste. He forced words past the thick lump in his throat, rough and low. “Jan?”
She turned slowly to face him, a matching spark of need in her eyes. “Dino.”
Without thinking, he slipped his arms around her slim waist and pulled her close. The soft curves of her breasts against this chest felt just as delightful as all those years ago. Maybe more so now that he had more than a decade of experience to go by. How many nights had he held her this close, loving the feel of her body against his, though they’d never consummated their relationship? How many nights had he gone to bed frustrated as hell yet ready and eager for more of her?
So much more.
His gaze dropped to her lips, and he raised his hand to stroke his thumb across her full bottom lip. Yep. Still as soft as he remembered. Still as sensuous, still as erotic. Their breath mingled in the mere inches between them, and she blinked up at him, her pupils dilated and all but obliterating the blue-gray of her irises. Her cheeks were flushed, and beneath his fingers her pulse beat hard against the base of her neck. She wanted him, and he damned well wanted her.
The past, the present, none of it mattered. There was only the now, only the two of them, only this.
He lowered his head, and her eyes closed, anticipating his kiss. Would she still taste the same—mint and cinnamon and innocent passion? Would she still make that same small sound deep in her throat—the soft mewling that had driven him nuts with teenaged lust each time they’d touched so long ago? He didn’t know, and he couldn’t wait to find out.
His lips brushed hers once, twice, but before he could kiss her properly, the door to the dressing room burst open, and Lou barged in.
Dino and Jan flew apart.
“What the hell is going on in here?” Lou gave them both an irritated look. “We rent that studio space by the hour. Either we’re working today or we’re not. What’s it gonna be?”
Jan stared at Dino, looking as bewildered as he felt. They had no business kissing. He was her bodyguard, not her boyfriend. He raked a hand through his hair and turned away.
Behind him, she took a deep breath then said, “Fine, I’m ready.”
“Good.” Lou and Jan walked out, leaving Dino alone.
In silence, he exhaled and did his best to get his raging libido back under control. If Lou hadn’t walked in, he could’ve ended up making love to her right there on the couch. That’s how badly he wanted her, even after all this time, after all these years. And if her reactions to him were any indication, she wanted him just as much.
He’d have to be careful from now on. Careful not to let her get too close again. After all, he was there to protect her, to guard her. Emotions only clouded the judgment and made people sloppy in the field. If Jan was truly in danger—and based on the fact that she’d thought someone had slipped through her security into her backyard, he was beginning to consider that a real possibility—then sloppy could get her hurt. Sloppy could get her killed.
Nope.
He smoothed his hands down the thighs of his black jeans and headed out of the dressing room and back upstairs to the recording studio. Kissing Jan would’ve been the worst mistake ever. Not only because it would open him up to a world of hurt again, but also because sloppy and security did not go together.
Not now. Not ever.
* * *
Upstairs, Jan went to step around Lou and head back into the sound booth, but he stopped her with a hand on her arm.
“What’s up with you and the new guy?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
“Didn’t look like nothing to me.”
Jan sighed and faced her manager, knowing he’d never let her off the hook until she gave him some sort of explanation. “We knew each other in high school, even dated
for a while. But that was a long time ago.” At Lou’s skeptical look, she reassured him. “Seriously. It’s over. Don’t worry.”
“I always worry.”
“I know.” She shook free of his grasp and stepped back into the sound booth then slipped the headphones back onto her ears just as Lou clicked the mic back on.
“Give us a minute to get everything back online.”
She gave him a thumbs-up. She could use a minute herself. Her bottom lip still tingled. She bit it hard to keep from smiling.
Dino had almost kissed her.
Dino Machiavelli had taken her into his arms and held her close and had almost kissed her. The fact that she shouldn’t be half as excited about that as she was didn’t seem to register in her adrenaline-soaked brain.
While the sound engineer cued up the instrumental track again, she pretended to focus on the sheets of music in front of her and not the way her heart raced and her blood thrummed through her veins. Truth was, she hadn’t felt this alive in years. Fifteen years, to be exact. Sure, she’d moved on, dated other men, had relationships, but nothing had compared to the time she’d spent with Dino. Nothing had even come close.
A tall, dark shadow passed before the glass separating the sound booth from the production area, and she glanced up through her lashes to see Dino sidle back into his place near the wall. Lou gave him a side glance, his normally stoic expression betraying a hint of concern. Good old Lou. He never let anyone invade his privacy, but he seemed to have no qualms about getting all up in her business if it meant defending his assets.
The sound engineer gave her the “OK” sign, and Jan nodded. She didn’t have time to worry about Lou now. Not with two hours left on their studio time and three voice tracks to lay down before this stupid song was finished. This wasn’t one she’d written, but one Lou had written himself to align more with his vision of an upbeat, happy vibe. He was all about the happy these days, while she’d always been more about the soul. So what if they weren’t selling? Music was cyclical, and what went around came around again, eventually. The business required patience and strategy. Lou had the strategy part down pat. The patience part? Not so much. Of course, that’s what made him so good at his job.
Now, if he could just let her get on with hers, they’d be all set.
“Ready, cupcake?”
She gave him a thumbs-up then tapped her toes along to the infectious beat. If Lou wanted happy, she’d give him happy. All she had to do was focus on the press of Dino’s long, lean, muscled body to hers, the warmth of his breath caressing her heated cheeks, and the stroke of his thumb across her lips, the touch of his mouth to hers, however briefly.
I know you’re worried
And babe, so am I
But lie with me
We’ll watch our worries fly by
Thinking about him and all the things he made her feel while she sang was cathartic. And it would keep her from focusing on them outside the studio, where they would be nothing but a distraction. A distraction she didn’t need. As she finished up the last verse of the song, she locked her hunger for Dino safely away in the recesses of her mind where it belonged. The last strains of music died away, and she waited for her manager’s verdict.
Now that she thought about it, she was glad Lou interrupted when he did. They’d dodged a bullet, really. She and Dino had separate lives now, and she couldn’t afford to fall back into her lovesick ways where he was concerned. Not now. Not with her busy career and her stalker still on the loose.
“Wow!” Lou said over the mic. “That was awesome. Whatever you did to pull yourself together, cupcake, keep doing it.”
Jan glanced up and caught Dino’s gaze through the glass.
Heat prickled her cheeks, and she looked away fast.
Apparently the almost-kiss had had a positive effect on her singing. She just hoped that effect would last until the album was done, because kissing him again was not an option.
Seven
Jan walked in her front door a bit before seven that night, tired and on edge. All she wanted was a hot bath and a good night’s sleep. She was thankful for the peace and quiet inside her house and even more thankful that Dino had dropped her off, double-checked the security around the house, and had not wanted to come in. Not after what had happened—or almost happened—between them earlier.
Her housekeeper was across the foyer, dusting one of the long credenzas against the far wall. The smell of lemon pledge and Lestoil hung in the air.
“Hey, Marta,” Jan called as she tossed her keys on the large round table at the center of the space.
The maid looked up at her but didn’t say anything. Marta never said much. She’d always reminded Jan of a typical, slightly disapproving aunt with her short, dark hair and black eyes. She chose aunt, since the woman wasn’t quite old enough to be her grandmother—midforties to Jan’s thirty-four. She went through the mail left for her, talking as she sorted the important letters from the junk. “Anything exciting happen here today?”
“Someone lurked outside the house,” Marta said in her slightly accented, broken English.
“Lurked?”
“Yes.”
Jan put the mail down and gave Marta her full attention, tension knotting tighter in her stomach. “Did you get a good look at them?”
“A man.” She waved a hand over the top of her head. “Losing hair here. And a woman.”
The only guy she knew who was balding was Lou. Marta didn't know him so she wouldn't be able to say if it was him. But why would Lou have come to her house? He never came here. Yeah, she’d been a tad late that morning, but she’d stayed and worked hard for the rest of the afternoon to make up for it, even though he’d left shortly after one. Weird. Apparently her and Dino’s almost-kiss wasn’t the strangest thing to happen today.
"And ..." Marta rolled her eyes toward the hallway.
“Hey, cuz.”
Jan stifled an urge to sigh and swiveled to face her cousin Stacy with a smile firmly plastered in place. So much for her quiet evening alone. “Hey Stace, what are you doing here?”
“I thought maybe we could go have manicures then grab some dinner. We haven’t been out, just us girls, in months.” She walked over and gave Jan a hug. “I miss hanging out with you.”
“I know.” She squeezed Stacy back then let her go. “But I’m really beat. Plus you know I don’t like going out where I’ll be recognized.”
“I know.” Stacy gave her a disappointed look. “But I thought it was worth a shot.”
“Come upstairs with me—you can tell me what’s new while I change.” The last thing she wanted to do was talk, but Stacy was the only family she was close to these days, and even with Stacy’s issues, she didn’t want to lose that connection.
A wave of guilt washed over her. Stacy had gone through a hard time when her father had been killed. Who wouldn’t? She’d become distant, and they had drifted apart for a while. They’d reconnected a few years ago when Jan had moved back to Vegas, but Stacy was different now, though Jan couldn’t quite put her finger on how. They’d never regained that same closeness they’d had as kids, and Jan realized with a start that she knew very little about what was really going on in Stacy’s life. Even with her busy schedule, she knew she should make more time for her cousin. The two of them had been through a lot together, and Stacy was one of the few people Jan "let in" and trusted … maybe the only person.
Jan headed toward the stairs, talking over her shoulder as she went. “What have you been up to?”
“Nothing much,” Stacy said, trailing after Jan up the stairs and into the second-floor master suite.
“Are you still working at that accountant’s office, answering phones?”
“Nah, I got fired. They said I didn’t have the right professional attitude for their office.” Stacy flopped down on the king-sized bed while Jan walked into her expansive closet and kicked off her boots. “I think it was because I was too sexy for all those buttoned-up old men.�
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Jan pulled her sweater off over her head then leaned back to peer out the door at Stacy. Her cousin was beautiful, in an old-Hollywood starlet way. Thin but curvy, with big boobs and an hourglass shape. Not to mention the fact that she was well aware of her charms and wasn’t afraid to use them to get what she wanted, or that wicked gleam that always hinted at the intensity simmering right below her surface. If Stacy had worn anything like the slim-fitting pants and figure-hugging top she had on at the moment and acted with the same chutzpah she normally did, then she was mostly likely right. Those stuffy accountants probably never knew what hit ’em.
“So what are you doing for money?” Jan asked, shimmying out of her jeans and hanging them up along with her sweater before pulling out her favorite pair of pink flannel PJs and tugging them on. “Are you doing all right?”
Stacy scoffed and gave a dismissive wave. “You know me. I’m always fine.”
“If you say so. You know you can always come to me if you need help.”
"Of course. But like I said, I’m fine."
Jan grabbed a pair of thick socks then traipsed back out into the bedroom, only to find Stacy going through the drawers in her bathroom. “What are you doing?”
“You won’t go out,” Stacy said with her butt in the air and her back toward Jan. “Then we’ll just stay in.”
She turned and waggled two bottles of nail polish between her fingers.
“I just got a French manicure at the end of last week.”
“Then I’ll just put on a fresh layer of topcoat.” Stacy breezed past her. “And you can do my toes. C’mon, it’s our thing, Jany. I need some ‘girl talk’ time.”
Resigned, Jan pulled on her socks while sitting on the edge of the bed, then stood. “Fine. But let’s go back downstairs. I want to make sure Marta set the security system when she left.”
Deadly Betrayal (The Rockford Security Series Book 1) Page 5