by Nikki Clarke
"Say it."
“I—“
“Say it.”
“I’m yours.”
It is not said with the surety I would like, but it is enough for now. And more than enough to send me over the edge. My release charges through me, and I'm defenseless to contain the nearly feral growl that erupts from my chest. I continue to jerk my hips up as my balls tighten and my seed erupts against Tiani's womb. I pulse inside of her for long, drawn out moments, my entire body flinching as I spurt out my release. With one last surge, I empty the last of my seed. A deep sigh erupts from my chest as I hold Tiani's pelvis to mine.
I can't move for several moments. My upper body crowds over hers, and I breathe slowly in an effort to regain myself. My knees are bent, chairing her body against mine. They shake with the effort to keep us both upright. Within my chest, my first heart thuds heavily from its efforts. I hear Tiani's heart just beneath it, a slightly softer beat to my own. I raise my head and look down at her.
"Are you okay, did I hurt you?"
"No, I'm fine.” She shakes her head. Her eyes shift around the room, and her expression is worried. I wonder if I have again “weirded her out” with the amount of my release.
"I will not release inside of you next time. I see that it makes you uncomfortable.” I lean down to press a kiss to her soft mouth. Her lips remain still beneath mine.
She clears her throat and turns her face to the side. "No, it’s fine. This was nice. It was great, again. I just really need to get back to making breakfast."
She has pulled herself away from me again. Perhaps my insistence on her admission that she belongs to me was too much. Shame crowds my heart. I should not have forced her in such a way.
“Why are you embarrassed?”
My arms are pulsing a bright pink. At this moment, I wish Lyqa were like humans and better able to conceal our emotions.
“I should not have made you say that,” I admit quietly. She stares at me but doesn’t respond. “I would not coerce you into loving me. I do not understand why you fight what is between us, what I know we can both feel in our hearts, but I will wait for you. I will wait as long as it takes for you to accept me.”
I smile to show my sincerity and pass my hand over her soft crown of curls, but she flinches away. Her brow shifts down into a hard scowl.
“Bati, move. Let me down.”
I immediately release her, and my cock slips free of her body followed by a gush of semen. She jerks her panties back in place and snatches her shorts from the floor.
“Why do you have to do that?” she protests as she shoves her legs into the shorts. Her jerky movements make her lose balance, and I reach out to steady her as she tilts to the side. “I don’t need your help!” she shouts as she pulls from my grasp. I step away, giving her the space she requires. All I’m getting from her is annoyance. Her heart patters with agitation.
“I did not mean to rush you, my lehti.”
She spins on me, her eyes flashing with hurt, an emotion I am surprised to see. “You’re not rushing me because there is nothing to rush. I thought we had an understanding. You’re cool, but I’m not your fucking girlfriend or your goddamn boo or anything. Us fucking doesn’t mean all that. Why do you have to be all extra? And stop—,” she stabs her finger against my chest and I step back—“calling me fucking Lettie! My name is Tiani. Ugh!”
She pushes past me and out of the pantry, and I’m left standing alone. The cloud of arousal that filled the small space is now sour with her anger.
Chapter 4
TIANI
I feel kind of bad for snapping at Bati.
We’re all sitting at my mother’s long, dining room table, and I can tell by all the Lyqa eyes avoiding me that our little squabble didn’t go unnoticed. It’s awkward as hell. I probably look like the biggest jerk in the world.
I don’t know why what he said frustrated me so bad. He’s just doing too much. I swear, you give one virgin alien a little bit of ass, and he acts like we’re bound for life.
I feel someone looking at me, and when I raise my head from where it’s lowered nearly to my plate, Amina glares at me. Right. I promised I wouldn’t fuck him again, and that I’d be nice. Maybe I am a meanie after all.
Kwarq clears his throat and wipes his mouth with his napkin. I realize for the first time how much he and Bati look alike. Aside from skin and eye color, they’re identical. From the moment I met him, Kwarq has been kind and caring. The way he looks at my sister, like she’s the most important person in the universe, makes even my apparently cold heart flutter.
“I must take Amina back to Lyqa for the birthing of our young, but before we leave, I would extend an invitation to you, Ms. Bennet, LaShay, and Tiani to join us if you wish.”
“Uh, hell yeah, I’m coming.” LaShay announces, and both me and Amina roll our eyes. Even if they hadn’t offered, Shay probably would have stowed away on their ship. The girl barely lives on the planet as it is, so going to Lyqa isn’t a stretch for her. The oldest brother, Ah’dan, fails at containing a groan after Shay’s announcement. After a few days of them being with us, it’s no a secret she annoys him. At least as much as any Lyqa can be annoyed.
Kwarq says something softly in Lyqa, and Ah’dan throws his hands up, issuing a short response back.
Amina glances between the two of them.
“Why are you telling him to be nice? Why aren’t you being nice, Ah’dan?”
I forgot that my sister has been given some kind of translation device. She scowls between her husband and his brother, triggering Kwarq to narrow his eyes on Ah’dan. Surprisingly, when Ah’dan’s eyes shift to Amina, they soften.
“I am sorry, my sa’aih. I spoke in jest. I did not mean any offense.”
“I can come another time,” LaShay mumbles.
“No, you can come now. Ignore him. He’s always an ass,” Amina says back, and Shay beams. She probably still would have stowed away.
“Mom, do you want to come for a while? It may be a good vacation.”
“Sure,” she says before scooping a forkful of eggs into her mouth. My eyes go wide at the same time as my sisters’.
“Are you serious?” I ask, and she shrugs her shoulders.
“Why not? It’s not like something is going to eat me there. They’re all vegetarians.”
“Oh, okay,” Amina stutters out and then shrugs, too. I don’t think any of us were expecting her to agree. Of course, since I’m the last hold out, all eyes shift to me.
“You are also welcome to join us, Tiani. As is your son.”
Several pairs of Lyqa eyes widen. Across the table on the opposite end, Bati's head snaps up. My heart stutters again. It’s like someone is trying to start a lawnmower in my chest.
“You have young?” His voice sounds strangled. I slowly turn my head until I meet his shocked gaze.
“I have a son, yes,” I reply and shift my eyes away.
“You are partnered already?” Bati’s gaze is fixed on me.
“You mean, am I married?”
He slowly nods his head. He almost looks afraid of what I might say.
"Not anymore.”
His face relaxes, and he smiles. I’m caught off guard by the brilliance of it. He looks so genuinely happy that I have to freeze the muscles in my face to stop myself from smiling back.
“So you will come? And bring your son?”
I stall. Bati looks at me expectantly, and I don’t know what to do. If I agree to come, will he think that means we’re together or something?
“No,” I return evenly and look away before his smile drops. I feel it though. An inexplicable wave of sadness crowds me, and I wish I could take it back.
Amina looks like she wants to jump across the table and strangle me. Her mouth is tight as she shakes her head back and forth. I look away, but my eyes immediately fall on Kwarq who’s sitting next to her. His mouth is curved in a sad little smile that looks so much like it could been on Bati’s face that I turn away
from him, too.
“Why did you do that?”
I don’t look up from where I’m folding one of my son’s shirts. “Do what? I don’t want to go.”
“Yeah, but the way you said it. It was kind of rude.” LaShay walks from the door to sit at the edge of my bed. She’s about an inch from where me and Bati tackled each other last night. I try my best to focus on something else.
“How is it rude to say no?” I don’t need her to tell me. I was a jerk.
“The same way it’s rude to tell someone they’re dusty. He was obviously excited that you might come. You could have clarified, at least.”
I drop the shirt I’m holding and turn to her. “Why do I need to clarify anything to him?”
Shay’s nose turns up in a classic stank face. “Stop being so fucking nasty, Tee. We get it. Your stupid husband left you alone to raise your son, so you don’t trust no fucking body anymore. But seriously. He’s been nothing but nice and respectful to you, and his family has, too. Did it ever occur to you that you just embarrassed the fuck out of him?”
The guilt I’ve been trying to hold back since I opened my mouth rushes over me. I definitely could have rejected their offer in a nicer way.
“Shit. Ugh!” I cover my face. I hate crying, but I kind of want to cry. I don’t know why I’m feeling like this all of a sudden. No, I do know why, and he’s bluish-black and tall and fine and probably downstairs pulsing bright pink.
BATI
I ignore the ache in my first heart. Tiani is human. I cannot expect the leht to anticipate the emotional inclinations of humans. To anticipate that she may not share the same attachment to me. I warned my brother of this when he first recognized his lehti. I should have heeded this warning as well.
My mother keeps trying to catch my gaze, but I avoid it. I don’t want to witness her sorrow. She is a feeler, and since I cannot easily hide my emotions from her, I would rather not see how she reacts to them.
“Um, Bati, can I talk to you for a minute?”
I look up to find Tiani standing in front of me. Immediately, that pull resumes. Her voice flows over me, and the ache in my heart eases just a bit.
“Of course, Tiani.”
I stand and follow her into the small hallway beyond the living room. I can smell her regret as she walks ahead of me. When she stops and turns to face me, guilt is a thick cloud between us.
“I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier, and I’m sorry I was so rude when you asked me to come to Lyqa. You didn’t deserve that.”
She is so beautiful. Like Amina, she is brown, but slightly lighter. Her short, dark hair curls into perfect ringlets about her head. The black eyes that stare up at me are heavy with sorrow. I cannot stop myself from smoothing a hand over her face. Her eyes close briefly before blinking open. She eases her face into my touch, and I lower my hand, aware that I have touched her without her permission.
“You do not have to apologize to me, Tiani. You were very clear from our initial interactions that you did not desire any attachment to me. I should not have pressed my suit.”
“No, I mean. It’s okay. I mean, I do like you. It’s just—,” she pauses and frustration colors her scent. I do not like her agitated on my behalf.
“It is okay, Tiani,” I tell her, and my heart jerks with a sharp pain. “I cannot fault you for not feeling the same way I do. You have made your wishes clear, and I will bother you with my affection no longer.” I do not wait for her to respond. I return to the living room and prepare to leave my lehti.
Kwarq, Amina, LaShay, and Ms. Bennet are waiting when I return. Tiani comes into the room behind me and the feel of her at my back is crushing. I need to be away from her, even as I want to be as close to her as possible.
“LaShay, Ms. Bennet, if you wish, I can carry these to the car for you.” I smile and wait until they hold their bags out before taking them. I turn to the door and close my hand over the handle.
“Bati—“ Tiani’s voice is small behind me. It tears at my already aching heart. I push the sensation away. She is not mine. She has made it clear she does not wish to be with me. I smile sadly to myself as I realize that the first words I ever heard spoken of Tiani were advice I should have heeded after all.
“Whatever it is you think is between the two of you means more to you than it does to Tee. The sooner you can realize that, the sooner you can get on with your life and find a young woman who wants to be with you. Tee ain’t it.”
Aside from the fact that there is no other woman for me, the main point of her mother’s warning is true. Tee—as she so wisely tried to tell me—ain’t it.
“It was a pleasure to meet you, Tiani. I wish you well.”
I step out onto the porch and carry the bags to Kwarq’s vehicle. I press the button and the lid to the rear storage space opens.
I drop the bags inside, wishing I could rip my heart out and toss it inside as well. At least, I realize, the echo of our hearts is now so soft that I can ignore it if I try very hard.
“Don’t go after it, let it roll back, KJ!”
My attention is drawn to the right where an older human woman rushes across the grass toward me. The look on her face shifts quickly from admonishment to panic before she starts to sprint toward the street, her arm outstretched as a shrill scream issues from her throat.
Her fear is pungent. It rushes over me, and I turn to the source just in time to see a small boy appear from between two parked vehicles. His head is bent low, tiny fingers outstretch as he pursues a small, orange ball. It rolls, just out of his reach, and the child scrambles after it, unaware of the panicked woman rushing after him.
Her panic is justified. A large, black vehicle, nearly two times the size of Kwarq’s small car, barrels down the street. Music sounds loudly from the open window, drowning out the woman’s cries. I do not have to be human to know that when the vehicle hits this child, his life will be extinguished.
It is nearly upon him. The woman has only just made it to the curb, but she is too slow. She trips, falling forward and catching herself with one hand. The other still reaches for the boy, who, finally having caught the ball, turns back with a confused look at the woman’s panic.
My heart lurches. Not in fear, with something else. Something instinctual and vibrant. The car—no, truck, my language implant supplies the word—bears down on him, and I know that any harm to this boy would result in a pain greater than I could withstand.
I move forward without thinking, uncaring that my speed is unnatural in this place. Uncaring that the woman gasps as I blur past her. The startled thump of her heart barely reaches my ears. I’m looking at the boy. His small, brown face finally shows recognition of the danger that’s about to overcome him, and he flinches away, tucking his head into his shoulder.
I reach him just as the truck gets close enough that the tail of the boy’s flapping shirt brushes the front of the bumper. I wrap my arms around him, crouching low to shield him with my torso. He’s so small that he nearly disappears against me. I’m glad. I’m moving too fast to stop myself before the truck hits us, but I hope that I will at least take the brunt of it. I scoop him from the ground and spin around in a circle, trying my best to evade the vehicle. I nearly make it, but just as I spin away, a sharp pain burns through my side where the truck catches me at my lower back. I drop to one knee, unable for a moment to breathe. My vision goes blurry. As I lose consciousness, I feel out to the boy. He smells afraid, but not in pain. I’m glad because that means he is unharmed and merely startled.
The thought enters my mind that I must accept that I will never have young. But if I am to die, this moment is what I imagine fatherhood to be. And even though I do not know this little boy, my spirit sings with an inexplicable love for him. That was the feeling in my heart. That lurch. It was amazing. Almost as amazing as the love I have for Tiani. I smile to myself. If I am to die, I am glad I was able to know this kind of love, even if it was just in my own heart. I close my eyes to this thought right befo
re I hear the distinct sound of Tiani scream.
Chapter 5
TIANI
I can't make it down the stairs quick enough. I nearly fall when I trip over my feet on the last step, but I stumble through it and make a dash for the spot where Bati’s fallen beside the curb.
He was fast. So fast that he was no more than a bluish-black blur as he sped toward the truck. I’d followed him out, hoping to apologize. Hoping to say something to him before he left. To let him know that maybe what happened between us wasn’t as meaningless as I let on, but then I saw the truck. It was Tre’, the fucker from next door. Tre’s cool, but he doesn’t understand the meaning of there are kids on this block. I’ve yelled at him countless times to slow the hell down when he’s driving down our street, but he doesn’t listen.
Tre’s truck is still barreling down the street as I run across the grass and drop to my knees beside Bati. My heart thumps so hard I can barely breathe. He’s so still. The back of his shirt is torn where the truck clipped him. Beneath it, the skin is scrapped and raw. A clear luminescent fluid oozes from beneath the broken flesh.
I’m worried about Bati, but I’m more worried about what we’re going to find when we turn him over. My urge is to push him aside, but I stop myself. If he’s hurt, it may do more damage.
“Sa’aih, please move aside. Let us see that he is unharmed.”
I turn terrified eyes on Kwarq, as he leans down beside me. His face is a mask of sympathy, but beneath it is a worry so intense that I can feel it.
I scoot over. He and Ah’dan take hold of Bati’s shoulders and legs and flip him carefully onto his back. Immediately, the breath that’s been burning through my chest whooshes out as the tiny, curled up form of my son becomes visible.
He was shielded in the cocoon of Bati’s body. He looks shook, but otherwise okay. The moment Bati is moved, he jumps from the ground into my arms.