by Adele Abbott
It was twenty past one when I arrived on the high street, and I was rather surprised at the lack of activity. Usually, when Grandma opened a new shop, she did so with a great fanfare—marching bands, acrobats, that kind of thing. Today, though, there was nothing to indicate the shop was about to open except for the banner draped above the window, which read: Opening today – 1.30pm.
This wasn’t Grandma’s usual MO, and for reasons I couldn’t explain, it made me nervous.
“Hey there!” Kathy was walking towards me; Peter was by her side.
“Hey there, yourself. How come you two aren’t at work?”
“We both decided we’d earned a day off.”
“Nice work if you can get it.”
“It was Kathy’s idea,” Peter said. “I can’t really afford to take time off.”
“I didn’t doubt for a moment it would be my sister’s idea.”
“Are you here for the same reason as we are?” Kathy gestured to the new shop.
“Yeah, I was ordered to attend. What’s your excuse?”
“I’m dying to find out what Ever Beauty is all about. Has your grandmother told you anything about it?”
“Not a thing.”
“I tried to peep through the window earlier, but she’s put screens in the way so you can’t see what’s inside. It’s all quite intriguing, don’t you think?”
“Not really. I can understand why you might be keen to see the new shop, but I didn’t think you’d be interested, Peter.”
“I’m not. I’ve told Kathy that I’m going in Coffee Games while she looks around the beauty salon. Wild horses wouldn’t drag me in there.”
“How are the kids?”
“Okay, except that Mikey has been having nightmares.”
“It’s probably the excitement of moving to a new house.”
“That’s what I said, although why that would cause him to dream about giants, I don’t know.”
“Giants?”
“Yeah. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he’d been reading Jack and the Beanstalk.”
“That is weird.”
“You haven’t heard the weirdest part. Apparently, you’re in his nightmare too. You come to his rescue every time.”
“Me?” I did my best to look suitably surprised.
“That’s what he says.”
“Look, it’s opening.” Peter pointed across the road, and then he set off towards Ever Beauty.
“Pete?” Kathy called after him.
“I didn’t think he was interested in seeing the shop,” I said.
“He wasn’t. He isn’t. He told me he’d rather chew glass than have to look around a beauty salon.”
“It looks like he’s changed his mind.”
Peter had already disappeared into the shop. As if that wasn’t strange enough, another dozen men followed him inside.
“Come on.” Kathy hurried across the road with me in hot pursuit.
The shopfitters had done a spectacular job, and it seemed that no expense had been spared. The left-hand half of the shop was dedicated to the sale of beauty products, divided into two discrete areas: Women’s and Men’s. The right-hand half of the shop had been converted into several small rooms in which various treatments were on offer: manicures and pedicures, hair removal, eyebrow threading, facials and some stuff I’d never heard of.
“I don’t get it,” Kathy said.
She didn’t need to elaborate because I already knew what she meant. In the women’s section, there was just Kathy, me and a couple of other women. But the men’s section was chock-a-block, with men of all ages, practically fighting with one another to get a better view of the products on offer.
While Kathy and I browsed the over-priced offerings in the women’s section, the tills never stopped ringing, and from what I could see, most of the purchasers were men.
“Hello, you two.” Grandma made us both jump.
“Do you have to creep up on people like that?” I said.
“Have you seen anything that takes your fancy?”
“I might try the Wrinkle Magic.” Kathy picked up the tiny box.
“Not at these prices.” I scoffed. “Is there a discount for family?”
“Don’t be silly.”
“What’s going on over there?” I nodded towards the men’s section that was still ten times busier than the women’s.
“What do you mean?” Grandma shrugged.
“All those men.”
“What about them?”
Before I could continue with my interrogation, one of the sales assistants came over to speak to Grandma. “We’ve sold out of Ever Aftershave.”
“Why are you telling me?” Grandma snapped. “Go and get some more from the stockroom.”
The young woman scurried away towards the back of the shop.
“Not that door!” Grandma seemed almost panic-stricken. “The other one.” She turned back to me and rolled her eyes. “You can’t get good staff these days.”
Grandma was checking how the treatment section of the salon was doing. Kathy was queueing to buy the wrinkle cream. Meanwhile, curiosity had got the better of me. I wanted to know why Grandma had become so agitated when the sales assistant almost went through the wrong door. What was behind it?
There was only one way to find out.
After a quick check to make sure no one was watching, I magicked myself to the other side of the door, to be faced with a flight of steps, which I hurried up two at a time. On the small landing there was a single door, which was slightly ajar. Unsure and a little nervous of what I might find inside, I pushed it open.
“Hi.” The young woman was seated in a rocking chair.
“Hi.”
“I’m Thel.”
“Pleased to meet you. I’m Jill. Do you work here, Thel?”
“I suppose so, in a manner of speaking. But it’s only a temporary job until I find my sisters, Pea and Aggy. You don’t happen to know them, do you?”
“Err, no. I’m afraid I don’t,” I lied.
“You are a witch, aren’t you?”
“I am, yes.”
“I seem to have misplaced my sisters. I’m not sure if they’re here in the human world or if they’ve gone back to Candlefield.”
In fact, I did know her sisters. They were sirens who had lived next door to Aunt Lucy for a few days until I’d been instrumental in their arrest.
“What are you doing here in the shop?”
“I’d run out of money, and I wasn’t sure what to do, but then the nice lady who owns this place offered me a temporary job.”
“Did she? That was kind of her.”
“It was. The work isn’t too demanding, and the pay is very good.”
“I see. Well, it was nice to meet you, Thel, but I really must get back downstairs.”
Back in the salon, I managed to track down Grandma.
“Could I have a word, please?”
“Haven’t you bought anything yet?”
“No, I haven’t. A word?”
“What is it? Can’t you see I’m very busy.”
“In private.”
I ushered her to one of the empty treatment rooms. Once inside, I closed the door so we couldn’t be overheard.
“What’s this all about?” she demanded.
“How did you manage to get so many men to come into the shop?”
“They’re here for the extensive range of men’s grooming products on offer, obviously.”
“Is that really the story you’re going with?”
“I have no idea what you’re prattling on about, but I have work to do.” She reached for the door handle.
“Hold on! I’ve just been speaking to Thel.”
“You had no right to go up there.”
“How could you do it, Grandma?”
“How could I do what? All I did was to offer the girl a temporary job.”
“She’s a siren and she’s on the rogue retrievers’ Most Wanted list.”
“Fiddlesticks. Daze and her crew are just overreacting as usual.”
“How is she overreacting? They lure unsuspecting men to them, and then do goodness knows what to them.”
“Not in my shop, they don’t. Why do you think I have her locked away safely upstairs?”
“Are you denying that she’s the reason that so many men are in here today?”
“I’ve already told you the reason for that. It’s the range of products on offer.”
“Don’t give me that old tosh. Peter had said wild horses wouldn’t drag him in here, but as soon as the doors opened, he came charging over here. You’ve got that siren calling all the men on the street into the shop, haven’t you?”
“It looks like I’m needed out there.” She pointed to one of the assistants who wasn’t even looking in our direction.
“No wonder you didn’t bother with the usual promotions.”
“Out of my way.” She pushed past me and left the treatment room.
“What are you doing in here?” Kathy appeared in the doorway. “Are you thinking of getting your legs waxed?”
“Err, no. In fact, I’d better get going. Are you coming?”
“Not just yet. It looks like Pete could be here for a while.”
“Okay, but I do have to go.” I gave her a hug.
“We’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
“Tomorrow? Will you?”
“You haven’t forgotten the Middle Tweaking carnival, have you?”
“Of course not. I’ll see you then.”
As soon as I was outside, I made a call.
“Daze, it’s me. I know where you can find the other siren sister.”
***
That evening, Jack was barely through the door before I was on his case.
“You said you’d call me about Royston’s warehouse. I’ve tried to ring you a dozen times but all I got was your voicemail.”
“Sorry, but there’s been a stabbing, and I had to drop everything else.”
“In West Chipping?”
“Yeah. He’s not dead, but it was touch and go for a while. We’ve arrested his brother.”
“What happened at the warehouse?”
“I wasn’t there, so I only know what I’ve been told.”
“Which is?”
“They caught them red-handed in the basement, just like you said. They arrested ten men in total.”
“Royston?”
Jack shook his head.
“Why not?”
“He wasn’t at the warehouse, and he doesn’t own it. At least, not on paper.”
“But it’s his operation. You know that.”
“Of course it is, but we need proof.”
“So, what are you telling me? That he’s going to walk away from this scot-free?”
“Hopefully not. A couple of the men who were arrested at the warehouse are high up in the pecking order. We’re hoping that they can be persuaded to give evidence against Royston.”
“In return for walking free themselves?”
“Possibly, yes.”
“That stinks.”
“I know, but unfortunately that’s the way these things work.”
Although it was incredibly annoying, I knew he was right. “Did you figure out what was happening with the premium penguins?”
“We’re still trying to piece it all together, but it looks like Royston was using the souvenir shop to pass drugs to his network of dealers. What could be more innocent than buying a soft toy from the club’s shop?”
“Wasn’t that risky, though? What if someone else had purchased one?”
“That was never going to happen. The penguins containing the drugs were kept separate from the ones that didn’t. Only customers who had ‘reserved’ one were allowed to purchase them.”
“That explains the ‘premium’ tag. When I visited the shop, the sales assistant told me that they had ‘regular’ penguins and ‘premium’ penguins.”
“What about Rhodesy?”
“He was one of Royston’s biggest rivals. It’s pretty obvious that he was behind the theft from the souvenir shop. That’s why he had Rhodes killed.”
“What will happen to the Washbridge Penguins?”
“I’ve no idea, but I can’t imagine Royston will have any interest in them now.”
“I hope they lock him up and throw away the key. It’s bad enough to be dealing drugs, but to use a kids’ football team as cover for your sleazy trade is downright despicable.”
“I agree. It’s all pretty depressing. There was one bright spot, though.”
“Oh?”
“One of the guys sent me a photo of that latest batch of so-called penguins.” He laughed. “I’ve never seen anything quite so ugly.”
“You’d better not let Winky hear you say that.”
Chapter 28
As we couldn’t all fit into one car, Jack and I had arranged to meet Kathy, Peter and the kids at Middle Tweaking. That arrangement also had the advantage that we might be able to slip away early if the opportunity presented itself.
“It’s ages since I was here.” Kathy looked down the village high street.
“The last time was when we came to that murder mystery evening at the pub,” Peter said.
“That’s right.” Kathy’s face lit up, and I knew full well what was coming next. “That was the night that Jill, the great private investigator, accused the murder victim of being the killer.”
All three of them were laughing now.
“Just remind me again, would you?” Jack was wearing that smug look of his—the one I just wanted to slap off his face. “Who won that night?”
“I don’t remember.” I shrugged. Just then, I noticed three familiar figures walking towards us. “Myrtle’s here.”
“Who’s that with her?” Peter said.
“Hodd and Jobbs.”
“Are you joking?” Kathy laughed. “Those can’t be their real names.”
“They are, and I wouldn’t let them hear you laughing if I were you. From what I can gather, they’re ex-cons and they’re as tough as nails.”
“Hello, Jill.” Myrtle greeted me with a polite hug. “I’m so glad you could make it.”
“Myrtle, this is my husband, Jack. My sister, Kathy, and her husband, Peter. And this is Mikey and Lizzie.”
“I’m very pleased to meet you all.” She turned to the kids. “Especially you two. Are you looking forward to the carnival?”
“Is there a big wheel and dodgems?” Mikey asked.
“No, but there is a hook-a-duck stall.”
His face fell.
“I love hook-a-duck.” Lizzie beamed.
“Sorry, where are my manners?” Myrtle said. “I should introduce my two colleagues. This is Celia Hodd, and this is Constance Jobbs.”
Every time I saw those two women, they looked scarier.
“Nice to meet you all.” Hodd’s cockney accent was as strong as ever.
“Any friend of Turtle’s is a friend of ours,” Jobbs said.
Mikey was staring at the scar on Jobbs’ chin, and I had my fingers crossed that he wouldn’t ask her how she got it.
“You’re probably all wondering where the carnival is,” Myrtle said. “It’s on Tweaking Meadows which is just outside the village. I thought it would be easier for us to meet here and walk down.” She pointed back the way she’d come. “Shall we?”
“The village is even lovelier than I remember,” Kathy said. “After we’ve finished at the carnival, we should stay and get dinner here. Is there anywhere you’d recommend, Myrtle?”
“You basically have a choice of one, and that’s The Middle.” She pointed across the road.
“Isn’t that the pub where they held the murder mystery evening? It wasn’t called that back then, was it?”
“It would have been the Old Trout when you were there. After that, it was The Boomerang for a while, but it recently changed hands and name again. The current owners seem to know what they’re doing, and
the food is really good.” She pointed at the church. “Over there is the reason we’re all here today. The carnival was organised to raise funds to renovate the bells.”
“Is this it?” Mikey’s face fell even further when we arrived at the carnival site, and he realised it was more village fete than funfair.
And that’s when I saw it.
Balanced above a giant wooden barrel full of water, was a single stool. Just the sight of it gave me flashbacks to my soaking at TenPinCon.
“They must have had that installed especially for you, Jill.” Kathy laughed.
“Don’t worry,” Myrtle said. “The inclusion of the ducking stool was a rather controversial decision. Not everyone thought it was a good idea. In the end, it was given the go-ahead, but only after it was agreed that the ‘victim’ must be a volunteer.”
“Who on earth is going to volunteer to get a soaking?” Jack said.
“There are a few good sports in the village who will be prepared to take a ducking for the cause.”
“Would any of you like to sign up?” Charlie Cross, the retired police sergeant, was manning the ducking stool stall.
“Hi, Charlie.” I shook his hand. “How is retirement suiting you?”
“It’s a little boring to be honest. Still, today promises to be fun. Would you or any of your party like to sign up for the ducking stool?”
“I definitely wouldn’t.”
“I will!” Mikey pushed his way to the front.
“Oh no you don’t!” Kathy grabbed him by the arm. “We have to drive all the way back home.”
“Children aren’t allowed to put their names down, I’m afraid, young man,” Charlie said. “What about you, Myrtle? And you two.” He was looking at Hodd and Jobbs who were both pretending to study their shoes.
“Definitely. You can put us all down,” Myrtle announced without bothering to consult the other two who looked horrified.
“Excellent. That will be ten pounds each, please.”
Myrtle handed over thirty pounds; she clearly didn’t trust the other two to pay for the privilege of a potential soaking.