Ben leaned forward, his cheek against hers. “Easy, darlin’,” he growled under his breath. The two held her between them as she shook, their hands as gentle now as they’d been firm before.
Cared for. Cherished. Everything she’d longed for. By the Mother, she loved them.
Eventually, Ben withdrew, cleaned himself and her, and lifted her up and off of Ryder. He steadied her with an arm around her waist, which was good, since her legs were trembling like aspen leaves in a pitiless wind.
“Thank you, Emma.” Ryder stepped in front of her and kissed her deeply. And then he turned her to his littermate.
Ben’s kiss was firm. Demanding. Dominating. And then he took her chin and lifted her face. In the steam of the shower, she saw his eyes, blue as the sky, level and controlled and tender. “Seems like we should have said this at the start rather than now, but…we love you, darlin’.”
Her eyes stung with tears. The words—words she’d waited all her life to hear.
As if to emphasize the meaning, Ryder wrapped his arms around her from behind and rubbed his water-softened beard against her cheek. He whispered the words again. “We love you, little bear.”
As a sob escaped her, Ben cradled her face against his broad chest. “Shh. You’re not supposed to cry when you hear you’re loved.” He chuckled. “We love you, Emma.”
Oh, I love you. Love you, love you. The words were there, on her lips, waiting. Not emerging. Trapped and caged in her own insecurities.
She had a feeling they already knew, though.
“Fuck, we’re going to miss her,” Ryder said under his breath to Ben.
Ben’s answer was almost a sigh. “Aye.”
How could she live without them? Then, with a startling blaze of understanding, she knew she could give them the actions of love, if not the words. “I’m coming with you.”
Wait.
Oh Goddess, what had she said? What if they laughed and—
Under her cheek, Ben’s muscles tensed. “You’ll come… You’d leave Cold Creek? Come with us?”
She could hear the surging desire in his voice, and her heart leaped in response.
“What? No.” Ryder shoved his brother without releasing her. “She has a life here. We can’t ask her—”
“You want me? Really?” Like wind-whipped leaves, her hopes spiraled up into the air.
“Yes, honey bear.” Ben’s answer came from deep in his chest, emerging in the lowest of bass notes. “Very, very much.”
Her eyes filled with tears at his unshakable certainty She pushed away from Ben far enough to turn and look at Ryder. “You want me? With you?”
“Emma.” The hope on his face was raw and absolute. “Fuck, yes.”
Abandon everything—her new friends, her work as a bard, this welcoming town—and go who knew where. The decision was huge. Momentous. And required no thought at all. They wanted her. Loved her. Her.
“You’ll come with us? Be with us?” Ryder’s voice was as rough as tree bark. “Stay with us?”
“Yes. Yes, yes, yes.”
Ben snorted a laugh. “My bard, you got quite a way with words.”
“Words are overrated.” Heart overflowing, she wrapped her arms around them both so she could cover their faces with her kisses. My grizzly, my cat. Mine, mine, mine.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
‡
Cold Creek, North Cascades Territory – dark of the moon
WISHING HE COULD change to grizzly and rip something apart with his teeth and claws, Ben stood with Amanda Golden in front of his house on Sunday morning.
The blonde realtor frowned. “I know how much work you’ve put into this place. Are you sure you want to sell it?”
Not fucking at all. Just the thought was a stab right through his heart. But it’d be a crime to leave the house to fall to ruin again. Houses had their own kind of souls, and the old Victorian had been happy when he’d started restoring it. He’d felt its pleasure when Minette trotted up and down the stairs, when Emma burst into laughter, when they sang together in the great room.
The old place had waited a decade to have a family again, and its disappointment at their move would be as heartrending as his own. “I’m afraid so, Amanda. Can you have some comparisons and a listing agreement prepared by tomorrow?”
She stared at him. “I… Well, that’s fast. Make that tomorrow afternoon and you’re on.”
Monday afternoon? Uneasy, he rubbed the back of his neck. It’d be better if he and his family left right this moment.
But he couldn’t. Looked like there’d be one more fucking delay. Their plan to leave today had already been revised after Owen had texted that he’d be gone tonight. Damn the cat for choosing to leave Cold Creek on a dark of the moon night. Without Owen, Alec would need Ben. A single cahir couldn’t survive a hellhound, and both teams were needed to cover the town.
The delay had pissed him off, but he, Ryder, and Emma revised their schedule to leave at sunrise on Monday. Now they’d have to wait until the afternoon. Fine. One minute after signing Amanda’s papers, they’d hit the road and be well out of the North Cascades Territory before Calum returned on Tuesday.
The knowledge he’d be able to take his family—all of his family—heartened him. He and Ryder would have the time they’d need to convince the little bear to accept them as lifemates. She was already willing to leave the life she’d just started to stay with them. So fucking brave and loyal… By the God, he loved her.
“Ben?” Amanda prompted.
“Right. I agree.”
“Then I’ll see you tomorrow at three,” Amanda said. “Actually, I’ll be at the barbecue this afternoon for a while, so I might see you.”
“Barbecue.” He frowned. “Hell, I’d forgotten.” Zeb and Shay put on a barbecue at the Wildwood Lodge every couple of weeks during the summer. And everyone would expect to see Ben and his people there. Right. “Yeah, we’ll be there. See you then.”
He’d patrol tonight. Sign papers tomorrow. Leave.
Once they were out of the territory, he’d call and let Zeb and Shay know they’d be down a cahir. To prevent any preemptive moves by Genevieve, they’d decided to keep the move quiet. Speaking of which… “I’d rather people not know I’m selling until the house goes on the market. You good with that?”
The realtor stiffened. “Of course. I consider everything confidential until given permission to share.”
“Great. Thank you.”
As the realtor got in her car and drove away, Ben turned and looked at his home. Small white buds were poking up in the flowerbed Emma had worked on. A light was on over the garage where Ryder was working in his office.
All too soon, everything would be dark again, and weeds would smother the tiny struggling plants. The house’s loneliness chilled his skin. I’m sorry.
*
WITH BEN ON her left, Ryder and Minette on her right, Emma walked across the graveled parking area in front of the Wildwood Lodge. The signs of summer were everywhere—the leaves a deeper green, the high cheep of baby birds, tree fairies putting on weight. Planter boxes on the lodge railing displayed budding flowers.
The world was celebrating the fertile season—and Emma was in love.
Ben and Ryder loved her. Loved. Her. They’d said so, and neither was a puppy to be infatuated and blurt out something he didn’t mean.
She saw again Ben’s level, careful eyes. “We love you, darlin’”. Ryder’s dark velvet voice murmured in her memory, “We love you, little bear.” A shiver of delight and sheer wonder ran through her. She’d never dared to dream they’d actually love her back.
Please, please, please, let everything come out right.
“Emma?” Ryder ran his hand up her arm. “You all right?”
“I’m fine.” Focus, bear. She glanced at the parking area, only two-third’s full. “I thought there would be more people here.”
“Looks are deceiving. The tavern is just down that path.” Ben pointed at a trail that started in the fores
ted area on the far side of the parking area. “People without cubs park at the Wild Hunt and walk.”
Ben led them around to the back of the lodge and under a purple clematis-covered arbor. As Ben paid for their admission at a reception table, Emma looked around.
One end of a wide patio boasted a massive grill, food-laden tables, and drink-and-ice-filled tubs. Townspeople were milling around, seated at the tables, and playing volleyball and other games on the lawn. A small playground swarmed with cubs, and their squeals of glee rang out into the clear afternoon air.
Her mother had hosted formal dinner affairs. This relaxed Sunday barbecue looked like far more fun.
Ben pulled her against his side. “I think you probably know most of the guests here.”
Ryder shifted Minette to his other arm and took Emma’s hand. Bracketed by her two males, she felt wonderfully claimed, giving her a stable home from which to venture forth.
“I think you’re right,” she said.
In the center of the patio, Alec sat at a table across from the tough old werecat who owned BOOKS.
Angie stood near the barbecue talking with an older human male. It was interesting to see both Daonain and humans at a party. In Pine Knoll, shifters avoided the humans.
The ruthless-looking cahir named Zeb was turning steaks on the grill.
“Ben, you made it.” Shay, the other owner of the lodge walked out of the house with a box filled with beer and soda. The sandy-haired male was almost as wide-shouldered and tall as Ben. He grinned at Minette. “Hey, little one, you want an orange pop?”
Minette edged behind her father, but nodded.
The cahir knelt…and was still taller than the cubling. “I’m Shay. Your daddy Ben and I hunt together.”
A shiver ran over Emma’s skin. The statement sounded so innocent. Minette wouldn’t know they hunted hellhounds.
Shay pulled a can of soda off the plastic ring, opened it, and handed it over, moving as slowly as he would with a wild animal. Bree had a good male.
Releasing Ryder’s hand, Minette held the can with both hands to take a sip. She gave Shay a shy smile.
“Thought you’d like it.” When he stood, he was joined by Bree, who curved an arm around his waist.
“Breanne, have you met my brother, Ryder?” Ben asked.
The way Ryder’s fingers tensed on Emma’s said the construction crew’s animosity had made him wary. He’d have skipped this event if he and Ben hadn’t wanted to present a normal appearance.
Bree smiled and held out her hand. “I’ve been wanting to thank you for the work you’ve done on the pack houses.”
Ryder relaxed. “It was a pleasure.”
“Emma, you’re here. Ryder, Ben, it’s good to see you.” In a purple T-shirt and jeans, Vicki strolled over.
“Vicki, you’re looking well.” Ben paused and took a discreet sniff. “Very well.”
Emma inhaled and caught a hint of something she couldn’t evaluate before the breeze shifted away. No one else seemed to notice. Then again, the grizzly had an incredibly acute sense of smell, even as a human.
“I’m so glad you all came.” Bree turned to Emma. “Especially you, Ms. Bard. Is there any chance we can get you to sing for us?” She hesitated. “Uh. Am I allowed to ask a bard to sing?”
Breanne was human-raised, Emma reminded herself. In fact, from the grief she’d shown when she spoke of her past, her tale was undoubtedly worthy of a song.
Only…I won’t be here. I’ll never hear Breanne’s story. Pain slashed down, deep enough to hit bone. Pulling in a breath, she forced a smile. “You can do a bard no higher honor than wanting a song.”
“Wonderful. Actually…” Breanne bit her lip and looked up at her mate.
“Let me ask her, mo leannán.” Shay took Emma’s hand with the gentleness exhibited by extremely large males. “We wanted to ask if you could sing for an hour at all of our summer barbecues. If you agree, Calum will let you move your Sunday performances here.”
Emma hesitated. She wouldn’t be in Cold Creek to sing, not after tomorrow. The pain in her heart ached like a pulled muscle. Soon she’d be without friends, without her work as a bard, without the cubs she’d taught. But, Ben and Ryder and Minette were worth it.
Shay was waiting for an answer.
What could she tell him? “If…” She faltered. Lying to these friends was…hard.
Vicki’s perceptive glance went from her, to Ben whose face had tightened, to Ryder, and finally to Minette.
“I’m—” She thought of nothing she could say. “I need to, um, think.”
“Of course.” Although his gaze had grown disconcertingly sharp, Shay gave her a half-smile. “We’ll discuss it later. How’s that?”
Emma gave a relieved breath. “Thank you. And I’ll be happy to sing tonight.”
“Good enough.”
Vicki was frowning.
Oh, Mother’s grace, I messed up. Perhaps a quick retreat was indicated. Emma turned to Breanne. “I see some females I haven’t met yet, and I’d love introductions.”
“Of course.”
*
THE AFTERNOON PASSED into evening marked by lively conversations. Ben would miss these parties. And his friends. And the community. The soft sigh of the sheltering forest seemed to echo his feelings.
He’d miss Breanne’s cooking, too. There’d been enough food that even he was satisfied, although he’d prudently halted a couple of hours ago. Last week, a hellhound had been scented near the south of town, and with Owen gone, Ben’s patrol would be short a cahir. With only him and Alec, if a fight happened, he’d need all the speed he could muster.
Leaning back, he stretched his legs under the table. Quiet had descended along with the setting sun and cooler temperature. Most of the guests had departed. Tables arranged in a petal-like cluster, the cahirs and their families occupied the center of the patio.
Seated at one table, Zeb, Shay, and Breanne took turns making the rounds to replenish their guests’ drinks and food.
Vicki and Alec sat between old Joe Thorson and Wells, the human who’d been Vicki’s boss when she was a spy.
On Ben’s right was Emma, then Ryder with Minette in his lap. She was sucking her thumb and sleepily rubbing the end of Emma’s braid over her cheek.
Alec was studying the cub…and had been all evening, Ben realized.
Alec’s green gaze met Ben’s before the sheriff turned and said to Zeb, “It’s good to have the summer barbeques going again. And I noticed the new playground equipment you added over the winter.”
Zeb acknowledged the comment with a grunt of dismissal.
Ben grinned. The tough cahir wouldn’t admit he had a soft spot for cubs, but he was the one who’d decided to add a playground to the lodge. And he’d built it from scratch. Minette loved the swings, slides, and monkey bars contraption.
After studying the playground, the human Wells harrumphed and remarked to Vicki, “Guess those kids you’re going to have will appreciate the fun.”
Vicki’s mouth dropped open. The retired Marine looked as if she’d been tossed unarmed into a firefight. “You… How can you tell? I haven’t said a word.”
“I’m a spy, Morgan; it’s what we do.” His thin lips curved up. “And you’re rather obviously changing shape.”
“Obviously?” Her gaze met Alec’s, and her swallow was audible. “You knew, too. Didn’t you?”
He shot Wells an irritated frown. “This wasn’t the traditional announcement that Calum had in mind.”
“You both knew.” Vicki scowled at her mate. “How?”
Ben suppressed a smile. Having been human until recently, the werecat occasionally displayed amusing gaps in her Daonain education.
Running a finger down her cheek, Alec said, “A female’s scent changes as her body does.”
She growled. “Fucking scent-sniffing, snoopy cats. I’m going to find hot pepper lotion and burn you out for a week.”
Over the laughter rounding the table,
Ben heard her ask Alec, “Are you and Calum okay with this? Happy?”
Alec picked her up and set her on his lap so he could kiss her. When she emerged from his embrace, Alec looked equally content.
Ben leaned toward his own female and put his arm behind her back. Mine. He met Ryder’s gaze. Even better. Ours.
Snuggling his mate against his shoulder, Alec said quietly, “Calum and I are still surprised at how quickly you got pregnant. Are you unhappy?”
She rubbed her cheek against his. “I’m in shock…but happy. Since Jamie’s broken me in, maybe I’ll be an okay mother.”
“You’re an awesome mom,” Calum’s daughter said. “Especially since you’ll let me go to Hector’s party next week.”
“No.” The word came from both Vicki and Alec.
“Jeez.” The girl scowled. “Well, I’m happy anyway. I’m going to be a wonderful big sister. I hope I get at least four new siblings.”
Vicki turned pale, setting off more laughter.
From the glint in Jamie’s eyes, she’d known how Vicki would react. Tricky little female. She must drive her fathers crazy.
At that age, Minette might well have him and Ryder chasing their tails. But she, too, would be an excellent older sister. As a vision of Emma, ripe with his and Ryder’s babies, filled his brain, he pulled her closer.
The strong current of joy pulled him into dreams of the future. He and Ryder would share her and create a family filled with laughter, bickering, and love.
He felt a touch on his chest and looked down into sunlit amber eyes. “Are you all right?” she whispered.
Damn, he loved her. “Oh, yeah.” He ran his knuckles over the sweet curve of her cheek.
“A shame you’ll be on the wagon for the next few months. This is excellent beer,” Wells said to Vicki before lifting his glass. “To the Sergeant.”
Vicki shot him a steaming look, but Ben noticed she had iced tea in front of her, rather than alcohol.
A chorus of voices joined in the toast: “To the Sergeant.”
Thorson grinned. “You piss her off enough, Wells, and one of her cubs will be named after me and none will have your name.”
When Wells’ face blanked, Ben smothered a laugh. As a werecat, Thorson had a talent for gutting his opponents, whether with words or claws.
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