I closed the distance between us and lifted my finger to her lips silencing her.
“You’re pregnant?”
She nodded.
Sunshine.
Always pulling me out of my self-created darkness.
Always saving me from myself.
I dropped my hand, reached for her with my other, threading my fingers through her hair as my mouth crashed onto hers.
Two words that promised a future and gave me heart, something to keep me from being reckless.
The wind blew picking up the stray leaves that had fallen over Jack’s grave as I bit the inside of my cheek
“Boy, I don’t know how to tell you this,” I admit, scratching at the scruff that lined my jaw. “Your old man is going to be a dad again.” I laugh half-heartedly. “The way I see it the man upstairs thinks one of two things; either he’s giving me one more shot to nail this dad thing or he’s giving me another life because I deserve it. Maybe I didn’t fail at being a father as much as I think I did. As much as I’d like it to be the latter—I highly doubt it. I’ve got sins, boy, sins that don’t disappear, that can’t be forgiven with a bow of the head and a Hail Mary.”
Pausing for a second, I reach into my cut and pull out a pack of cigarettes. I stare at them before tucking them back into my pocket. I need to quit this shit if I’m going to run after a toddler.
“As much as I feel undeserving, I can’t help but stay awake at night and watch Reina sleep. I stare at her belly and try to picture what your brother or sister will look like. I wonder if he’s a boy if he’ll look like you and then I wonder how I will feel, looking at him and seeing traces of the boy I lost. Then I think of all the things you and I never had the chance to do together. I’ll be able to do those things with him and that makes me feel so fucking guilty. I guess I came here today to relieve myself of that guilt and make a promise to you. I came here to remind you how I wished every day since you left this earth for one chance to fulfill one memory with you. I want you to know that if this baby is a boy, he can never take your place in my heart. Every time I get a chance to do something with him that I never did with you, I’ll think of you, Jack. You’ll be right there with us, every pitch of the baseball, every goddamn time I take him to a game and every single birthday he blows out his candles…. you will be with me, right where you’ve always been, in the center of your old man’s heart.”
I run my hands over my head, angling it so I can stare at the clouds. It is times like this a man wishes he had found God instead of the reaper.
“And if it’s not too much to ask, pull some strings for your little brother or sister—talk to the man upstairs—the man that’s been looking out for you since you left me, and ask him to spare the baby of the illness your sister got from me. Ask him to spare one Parrish child the demons of his father.”
I force down the lump in my throat as I bow my head and reach for the cigarettes again. Fuck this shit, I’ll quit tomorrow. Shoving the cigarette between my lips a hand falls to my shoulder as I pat my pockets searching for a lighter.
“I thought I’d find you here,” my Sunshine’s voice whispers from behind me, forcing me to glance over my shoulder and look at the woman who has healed me in more ways than one. She bends down and takes the cigarette from my mouth, snapping it in half. “What happened to quitting?”
“How long have you been standing there?”
She didn’t answer, brushing her hands over the denim that hugged her thighs before taking a seat on the grass next to me. She kissed her fingertips and brought them to Jack’s tombstone before making the sign of the cross.
at least one of us has God in their corner.
Maybe our kid has a shot after all.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asks softly as she stares at my son’s headstone.
“Reina,” I start, sighing heavily.
“Don’t do that, Jack,” she insists, turning her eyes to mine. “You and I are in this together and if having this baby—”
“Having this baby means everything to me,” I interrupt. “Don’t you doubt that for one second, Sunshine. You want to talk fears, then let’s talk…tell me why you keep dancing around marrying me,” I argue. “I put that ring on your finger a while ago and you keep giving me the run around.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she mutters.
“Oh no? If you don’t want to marry me than tell me. Right here. Right now.”
“If I didn’t want to marry you, I wouldn’t have said yes when you asked me. How could you even ask me that?”
Her eyes peer into mine as they fill with tears.
“Of course I want to marry you.”
“Then what’s stopping you?” I ask, reaching out to tuck her golden hair behind her ear. “You’re carrying my baby in your belly, Sunshine. You should carry my name too.”
“I’m afraid of having everything because when you have everything you have everything to lose,” she confesses.
“Already have everything,” I rasp, dropping my hands to her belly that has already swelled slightly with the proof of all we had. “Marry me, Sunshine. We can go to city hall tomorrow and sign our names to our hearts, but for the love of all things holy, marry me.”
She drops her hands over mine and looks up at me.
“Is this another Property of Parrish thing?” She teases, giving me a glimpse of her smile.
I divert my eyes to our hands then back to hers.
“It’s clear who you belong to, Sunshine. I put a baby in you and branded you mine forever. I want to marry you because I’m ready to live by my vows. I’ll give you all I am and promise to for the rest of my life,” I tell her, lifting one hand to cup her chin drawing her closer. Dipping my head, I cover her mouth with mine and kiss her with whatever gentleness I can muster.
“Marry me,” I say against her mouth.
“Yes,” she whispers, leaning forward for more of my mouth. “But nothing big. I want it to be about family,” she demands, wrapping her arms around my neck.
“Small, got it,” I agree, hiding my smile as I pull her onto my lap and kiss her some more.
“Lacey will be my maid of honor and of course you’ll have Blackie as your best man, won’t you?” She questions in-between my attack on her lips.
“Yeah, yeah,” I mumble, threading my fingers through her hair, angling her head so I can kiss her neck.
“Maybe we can have the priest come to the compound.”
Right, maybe he’ll bless the table we congregate at too. Father whoever could not only marry us but cleanse the Satan’s Knights of their corrupt souls.
Oh, Reina.
Crazy never could fix crazy.
But fuck if that matters.
We might be two completely different breeds of crazy but we are suited for one another. She silences my maker with her soft voice and I tear down her insecurities, making those scars that mark her body, Property of Parrish—just like every other inch of her.
“We’ll have to invite the Biancis and the Pastores, but other than that we’ll keep it to just your brothers,” she rambles as my teeth graze her neck. “Oh, and we’ll have to make sure we have some of that non-alcoholic beer for Blackie.”
“Whatever you want, Sunshine. I’ll have Wolf and Pipe blow up balloons, bring in a goddamn support group for Blackie, whatever it takes as long as it puts a smile on your face,” I growl against her skin.
A sexy, low rumble of laughter works its way up her throat and escapes her lips, spreading joy throughout the open space meant for tears and prayers.
Sunshine.
“Do you think Riggs could be our videographer?”
I lift my head, arch an eyebrow, questioning her as she continues to ramble on. She was turning my club into a circus.
Wrapping her arms around my neck she winks at me as a smile spreads across her face.
“We’re getting married,” she whispers.
“Yeah, we are,” I rasp, sliding my hands down her hips as I glance over her shoulder at my boy’s headstone. “You hear that, Jack, your old man is getting hitched.”
Reina’s arms pull me into her embrace.
“You were right when you said he’ll be with you always but you left one part out…you forgot to tell him he’ll always have a place in our family. This baby has a guardian angel protecting him or her, and that angel is his brother,” she murmurs, clearing her throat before she pulls back and takes my face in her hands, forcing my eyes to lock with hers. “You feeling some kind of way, you tell me, Jack. Me.”
“You,” I say hoarsely.
“Me,” she agrees.
Two words that meant nothing to anyone else in the world but two words that meant the world to us. They are the words that became a vow and when the day comes for Reina to take my name and for us to pledge our love and commitment, it’s those words we’ll say to one another, the only ones that mean anything.
You.
Me.
The words Reina and I live and love by.
Chapter Five
Join an MC they said.
It’ll be fun they said.
They left out I’d be summoned to kidnap a crazy Italian woman and her grandkid, or that she’d hit me in the face with a frying pan. It’s probably a good thing I had no idea the Bianci twister was headed straight for me, otherwise I wouldn’t have met my Kitten.
The feistiest pussy in all the land.
Ha!
I crack myself up.
All jokes aside, the day my president, Jack Parrish, ordered me to grab ‘Carmela Soprano’ and the boy, was the day my whole world changed. It was the detour I never expected but the one that led me straight to the girl of my dreams. Dreams I never knew I had until I had her.
When I first met Lauren Bianci, the mob guy’s little sister, she was dancing in a bar—a bar called the Pink Pussycat. See, my job was to bring Bianci’s mother upstate so she could stay with her daughter while the mob folk shot the fuck out of one another. If you ask me, they should’ve let mama Bianci stay behind—give that woman a kitchen appliance and send her after your toughest enemy. Anyway, I took the Italian nutcase to her daughter’s apartment only to find out little Miss Innocent was lying to mommy dearest and her big brother. Her roommate sent me to the Pink Pussycat, that’s when I came face to face with my Kitten for the first time. One look in her big, blue eyes, framed by black glasses, and I was gone. The Riggs everyone knew and loved was gone and the Tiger was born.
You heard me right.
Kitten and Tiger.
That’s us.
As much as I didn’t bank on her coming into my life, Lauren never saw me coming. I was just as much her detour as she was mine and together we would take each other on one hell of a ride.
At first I thought I was just chasing tail, going after something I couldn’t have—a guy just having fun. But the more time I spent with her, the deeper I fell into her, and as much as we flirted, as much I wanted to bang her brains out, she became my friend. I didn’t have any friends that were girls but I couldn’t stay away from her. I looked forward to the text messages we’d send one another and the few times she’d visit her brother—I even drove up to bumble-fuck New York again to see her face.
I was out of my mind and to prove so, I even invited her to my patch party. Yeah, I invited Kitten to my pussy party. Who the fuck does that? This guy right here. And you know what? Best fucking decision of my life. I can say that now, almost two years later.
Most brothers in my MC look back at the night they got their colors as a turning point in their life because they finally became one of the Satan’s Knights. I look back at that night and I forget all about the patch I received because that was the night I first took Kitten. I took her up against the wall of the Satan’s Knight compound and put Pea inside of her. Not intentionally of course, but yep, you heard me right—I knocked up Kitten.
I didn’t find out right away and if I’m being honest, I was a dick, both before and after I found out about the baby. I stopped talking to Kitten after the night at the clubhouse, and thinking back now, I have no idea why. The best I can come up with is I was scared. Yeah, scared, because I was feeling all sorts of shit I wasn’t used to and I was starting to think about Kitten, morning, noon and night.
I think I had a nervous breakdown after I found out we were having a kid and that she had already named it Pea. I was scared shitless to become a father, to be responsible for a little human—for eighteen plus years. But I wasn’t about to let Lauren do it by herself. I wasn’t going to be a deadbeat dad, nah, not me. I would own that shit.
Own it.
These are the two words my brother and my best friend, Bones, said to me after I told him I was having a kid. These are the two words I live by, and the two words I want scribed on my tombstone when I drop dead.
Kitten moved in with me and we played house for a while. I bought a refrigerator and she covered it with our baby’s sonogram photos. Life was good. I had my Kitten, and we were having a Pea.
The motherfucking Chinese had to go ruin my shit. Fucking Sun Wu and the Red Dragons, those motherfuckers threatened to take everything I loved from me—my Kitten and my Pea.
They would’ve succeeded too if it wasn’t for Bones. My best friend stepped into the line of fire when Sun Wu’s men shot at Kitten. He jumped in front of her saving her life. That bullet would’ve killed my Kitten and probably my kid.
It killed Bones.
He saved them and I didn’t even get a chance to thank him. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t look at my son or Lauren and think of the brother God didn’t give me but the one I chose. We named our son, Eric after Bones, and both Kitten and I tell him stories about the uncle he never got to meet.
Join an MC they said.
Take the detour.
Find your heart and own that shit.
I pause, pushing the carriage passed the park gates and pull off my sunglasses to check out our surroundings. There are a couple of kids playing in the sandbox but the little kid with the fisherman’s hat looks like he has that shit on lock down, claiming the three babies with dresses all for himself.
His parents need to teach him how to share and spread the wealth.
I turn my attention to the sprinklers, ready to introduce my son to the love of bikinis but the bigger kids run that part of the playground.
“All right, Eric, time for you to learn how to woo the women,” I say, eyeing the empty swings before looking down at my son who’s rockin’ a pair of sunglasses just like mine. “Don’t look at me like that, I know they’re empty but give it a few minutes and they’ll be lining up to swing with us,” I promise. “Just follow my lead and I’ll have you ten play dates by the time your mom’s finished getting her nails done.”
He leans forward grabbing a fistful of Gerber Puffs and throws them at me.
All right, he’s not a believer—but he will be.
I push the carriage to where the swings are and unlatch Fort Knox. I swear you need to be a brain surgeon to take a kid out of a carriage. Forget about opening this fucking thing—I had to watch a YouTube video just to unfold it. Thank God, Kitten is meeting us here, otherwise I would strap this fucking thing to the roof of my truck.
I place Eric in the swing, tighten the seat belt, see now, this one isn’t so bad, one click and my boy is set. Watching as he curiously looks around the playground I push him. After a few pushes a smile makes its way across his face.
That shit never gets old.
Watching your child’s eyes widen in wonder, smile in joy as he decides he likes the new experience—it’s fucking incredible. Something I almost didn’t get the chance to experience.
“You like that, don’t you?” I grin as he giggles. That sound is contagious, causing me to laugh as I watch him cheer with every high the swing takes and clap his hands with the lows.
A mother walks up next to us and places her daughter in the swing next to ours.
“Showtime,” I whisper into Eric’s ear. “Now, the trick isn’t getting the girl…it’s keeping her once you’ve got her. You need to keep it fresh, excite her when she least expects it and always make her know how much she means to you. I’m not saying you have to marry the first girl you nab, but if she’s the one you love, always make sure you tell her. Never let her wonder—that reminds me,” I say, pulling back the swing for a second to whip out my cell phone. I swipe my thumb across the screen and compose a new text message.
Me: Roar.
I grin watching as the little gray cloud appears and two seconds later my phone chimes.
Kitten: Meow. XOXO
It chimes again when I’m about to put my phone away.
Kitten: I just finished drying my nails. Where are you guys?
Me: By the swings.
Kitten: Did Eric get any dates?
Me: Still working on it.
Kitten: LOL. See you in a few.
I pocket my phone and lean close to Eric.
“Mommy’s on her way,” I say, giving him another push and watch him eye the girl on the swing next to him. “That’s my boy! Get her Tiger!”
The girl squeals and Eric doesn’t take his eyes off her. Her mom pushes her higher, and she turns to Eric and sticks her tongue out at him.
“Oh, the little vixen is playing hard to get,” I hiss, pushing Eric a drop higher.
“How old is he?” The mother asked.
“He’ll be one next month,” I reply, biting back the cringe as I ask her how old her daughter is, preparing myself for the math equation. “How old is she?”
“Seventeen months and three days,” she replies proudly.
See, math equation. Why couldn’t she say the kid was one?
“Nice,” I reply, leaning into Eric’s ear. “She’s a cougar.”
“There are my boys!”
I turn around at the sound of Lauren’s voice and smirk as she completely brushes passed me and goes straight for our son.
“There’s my little guy,” she coos, reaching for him.
Eternal Temptations (The Tempted Series Book 6) Page 4