I’m done with school.
I have money. Lots of money and I am getting the hell out of here as soon as he leaves for a run later today.
_____________
The hole in the backyard that keeps my money is dug up. The things I care about are packed, and the monster I live with is gone for at least an hour.
I run out the door and most of the way down our long road. I hit the bus stop five minutes before the bus is due to arrive.
My blood pumps steady through my veins, and my throat hurts from the lump inside because I want to cry with relief.
I am almost free. Sweaty palms struggle to hold my suitcase, but I hold on to it with white knuckles.
My eyes look down the road, and my heart jumps from its diving board straight into the dark pit of my stomach when I see his car coming with the bus right behind.
Panic suffocates me, causing my lungs to freeze. Without thought, I quickly dip and hide on the other side of the bus stop awning.
He flies by, splashing summertime rain that has puddled on the road.
And I swear to God, he looks in the rearview.
The bus pulls up, our eyes lock for a split second, and I say everything in that moment I’ve wanted to say for years.
I say goodbye to that piece of shit, goodbye to a sorry existence I no longer would live, and I mentally flick off that whole town before I hurry between the open doors.
He sees me; I know he does.
And part of me is glad.
Glad for him to know I’m gone. Glad for him to know I did it. I got out, just like she did.
I wait for his car to pull up beside the bus for miles. But it never happens.
__________
The raggedy bus hits every pothole imaginable as we enter into Atlanta. It’s early, and I know I need to find somewhere to sleep for the night. My money is rolled tightly inside a deep pocket in my purse.
That’s my lifeline and I hold on to it firmly.
The brakes on the bus squeal and moan as we come to a stop, and I decide this is as good a place as any to get off.
I stand on shaky legs and walk to the front. The driver swings the doors open, and I step out onto the street.
High on adrenaline, but still scared shitless, I walk until I see a small diner. I step inside the place, noticing its foggy windows from the blasting air conditioner.
“I’ll be with you in a minute, hon,” the waitress yells over to me.
I nod and slide into a booth, resting my purse closely to my side and my suitcase on the floor.
I’m not even hungry. I just need a place to figure out my next move. The waitress walks over to me.
“What can I get ’cha?” She’s lip smacking, gum chewing, and has a pile of buttery curls on her head. Her makeup is too heavy, and she is showing way too much cleavage, but I like the way her eyes look.
They’re aged and have a few wrinkles around the edges, but they tell a story. One that says she’s been there, done that.
“Um, how about coffee?”
“All right, coming right up.”
I put the menu back and stare out the window. People continue to pass by in their own worlds as I think about what the hell I’m going to do in mine.
I did it.
I left.
Is this what my mom felt like all those years ago? I pick at the skin beside my thumb and try to control the anxiousness I feel.
New place.
I’ve never been anywhere outside of that ten-cent town. I’ve never seen anything like this city. It’s vast, spreading outward as much as upward. My eyes stare through the foggy glass as more people stroll by and cars honk their horns.
The sun gilds the tall buildings that surround me. Scintillating buttery light warms me from the inside, melting the frost that’s inhabited me for so long. The sky is ocean blue, and stone has never looked so appealing.
It’s celestial, thrilling and…healing.
The shackles he locked me in unchain.
I feel my lips spread, my jaw unlocks, and the skin beside my eyes bends in split joy.
I’m smiling.
And I can’t remember the last time I did it genuinely.
My eyes water in pure happiness and tremendous relief.
God, thank you.
Thank you.
My coffee is placed in front of me, breaking me away from my thoughts, and I wipe at my face and sniff.
“How old are you, kid?”
I look at her nametag. “Eighteen… Lucy, how old are you?” My eyes reach her face.
She blanches and then smiles, and I see the red gum between her teeth.
“Old enough. Where are you coming from? I don’t believe I’ve seen you around here before.” She looks down at my suitcase.
“A few hours away.” I shrug, acting nonchalant, like I just wasn’t having the biggest moment of my life. I grab some sugar packets from the container. She places a silver creamer onto the table and slides it to me. “Thanks.”
“Sure, hon.”
“Do you happen to know of any apartments for rent around here?”
Lucy moves her gum around her mouth and looks me over suspiciously. In a way she makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong, but I’m eighteen now. This is perfectly legal.
“Johnny keeps some pamphlets on the counter. You can use the phone, too, if you need it. Come on over to the bar.”
I slide my purse over my shoulder, grab my suitcase and coffee, and move to the counter. There are a few men in work uniforms drinking coffee and eating, but none of them pay much attention to me.
I situate myself on the stool and place my purse on my lap after I make sure it’s zipped tightly. As I put my suitcase on the floor in front of me, Lucy slides the pamphlets over as well as the cordless phone.
After a few minutes of looking at several potential apartment buildings that aren’t too far from here, I pick the phone up and call the numbers listed.
Most have no units available for a few months, but there are two places that have some now, and I decide to look at them after I finish my coffee.
“Order’s up,” Lucy says as she places the hot plate of food in front of me.
“I didn’t order this,” I say as my stomach growls,
“Sounds like you need it, though,” she says, her eyes jumping down to my belly. “Have any luck?” She points her chin at the pamphlets.
I look down at the food.
Kindness is not something I’m used to. Coming from a world where everyone is about themselves, you don’t run across too many people who go out of their way for someone else. And just in this short time, Lucy has helped me in more ways than anyone ever has.
“Hey,” she says, snapping her fingers. “It’s just food. It ain’t gonna bite ya.” She slides a fork to me. “So, what about the apartments?”
I clear my throat, my emotions getting the best of me. “Yeah, I found a few that are available.”
She looks over at the clock and then back at me. “You got a ride?”
“Huh?”
“Do you have a ride?”
“No, I took the bus here.”
She nods like she figured that was my answer. “That’s pretty dangerous, kid. You’re young and pretty. Any creep could scoop you up.”
Now dangerous I am used to. My eyes go to the bruises on my arm from the last time he grabbed me.
Flashbacks of every moment he’s hit me and forced himself on me flow through my mind like creek water over boulders. It sends chills down my spine.
He will never touch me again.
Never.
“Look, I’ll give you a ride when I get off work if you want.”
I look up from my plate at Lucy. “Why are you doing this?”
She looks over at me for a moment. “I’ve been there. You don’t have to tell me anything for me to know you’ve been through some shit. Something not a lot of people will understand, but I do.” She shrugs. “I get off in fifteen minutes, kid.”
<
br /> “My name’s Kat.”
“Kat, be ready in fifteen,” she says before walking away to refill the other patrons’ coffee. I finish my food and slide the plate closer to her side. As I count out some money, she walks back to me.
“How much do I owe you?”
“It’s on the house,” she says, taking my plate.
“Well, here, take some gas money.”
“No,” she says, removing her apron and grabbing her purse from under the counter. “Come on.”
__________
I think Lucy is God’s apology for giving me such a shitty childhood. She’s real and selfless. Smokes too much and drives an Oldsmobile that may or may not be older than my eighteen years. The seats have holes from cigarette burns, and it smells like a stale ashtray in here, but it’s a free ride and one that I’m grateful for.
The air is heavy with humidity, and I feel sweat stream down my spine as we head to the first apartment building. Lucy’s old car doesn't have air conditioning, so all four windows are down, and my long ponytail is slapping me in the face.
I hold my arm out of the window and let the wind sweep between my fingers and wrap itself around my hand. The atmosphere is thick and warm, like melted caramel, and just the same it’s Heaven on Earth to me. Because I’m looking for an apartment.
To live in.
Just me.
No monsters.
No drug addicts.
No ghost of the woman who deserted me.
Lucy pulls the car up front and yanks the big gear shifter into park. With a brown filter between her pink lips, she turns to me and inhales deeply. Smoke blows out of her nose and mouth, making me move my head back to prevent the smoke from going in my face. The woman smokes like a freight train.
“Well, what are you waiting on, kid? Get out and go see.”
I sigh anxiously and open the car door. The hinges moan in protest, and the door makes a loud popping noise. I get out and walk into the lobby, seeing a sign above a door that reads office.
Nervousness causes me to take a deep breath.
Another new thing for me.
Finding a place to live.
I used to lie in bed at night and daydream about my own home. I thought how nice it would be to decorate it myself and have nice things to fill it with. Instead of a foul couch that had one too many cigarette burns and vomit stains from drug addicts who couldn’t handle the high.
And now I’m walking into an office, getting ready to speak to someone who can make this happen for me.
An older lady with salt and pepper hair is seated behind a desk in the middle of the office and looks up from her box computer.
“Hello, may I help you?”
“I called about an apartment.”
She nods and slides her glasses on top her head. “Follow me,” she says, walking around the crowded desk and past me.
We take the elevator up.
“This is actually the only one we have.” She tells me what the rent is as we step off the elevator and walk a little way down the hall. She unlocks the door, and it feels like a bag of cat shit is thrown in my face.
The smell is horrible.
Instinctively, I cover my nose and blink my eyes.
I take in the old carpet with too many stains and the walls with kids’ drawings all over them. She waits for me outside the door as I do a quick walkthrough before deciding someone died in here and I don’t feel like dealing with more ghosts.
“The carpet man will come before you move in, and the walls will be repainted.”
I nod and shut the door, taking a breath of fresh air as I do.
“You need some time to think about it?”
“Umm. I’ll get back to you.”
“Okay, but these fill up quickly, just so you know.”
We make our way back down and I can’t help but feel
a little discouraged. I wanted the first one to be it. I don’t want to waste my money on some hotel room. I need to find a place quickly.
And a job.
__________
“Well, what did you think?” Lucy asks as I open the car door.
“Honestly, I can’t believe she even showed me that place.”
She lifts an eyebrow. “That bad, huh?”
“Yeah. The next apartment building isn’t too far from here.”
“Well, let’s go.” Lucy tosses a magazine I didn’t know she had back into the car window before opening the door.
The ride is filled with city noises I’m not used to, the wind whipping through the old car, and traffic passing us. It’s exhilarating and frightening all at once.
I’m so used to the quiet. I look up at the cloudless sky and wonder if I’ll see any stars tonight through the smog.
A small pang of something passes through me and I realize I’ll never, ever miss that man, but the field was my bed and the stars were my blanket many nights.
They both wrapped me in warmth and comfort, while listening to my prayers and dreams.
I will miss them and only them.
Lucy grabs the soft pack from the console between us and throws it onto my lap.
“Light me one of those, would ya? I can’t block the wind while driving.” I turn my nose up in disgust. “Come on, Kat. One puff ain’t gonna hurt ya. Don’t inhale.”
I sigh. I guess it’s the least I can do. I tap the bottom like I’ve seen the monster do a million times until one falls out. I bring the cigarette to my mouth, and it sticks to my top lip when I part them. It tastes like cardboard and mint.
Closing my lips, I grab the lighter and cuff the end of the filter. I flick the Bic and smoke fills my lungs. I let out a painful cough.
“Here,” I say, getting light-headed.
“I told you not to inhale,” she says.
“I promise I didn’t mean to.” I scrunch my face in disgust and feel my stomach turn.
She quickly grabs the cigarette and puffs, making flames shoot up from the end. I look down at the map in my hands, breathing in air that isn’t so fresh now.
“The apartment building is on the next road.” We pass through the red light and Lucy turns the car onto a road that makes me smile. Small trees are planted on the sidewalk and I notice a bird flying from one to the other. There’s a dog walker doing her best to control four dogs almost bigger than she. A jogger maneuvers around all of them, giving a small wave as he does.
We pull up to the curb and I step out of the car with my purse. My eyes shoot up the building in front of me. Red brick towers over my small frame. From here, I can see a green vine crawling its way up the side of the fire escapes. Someone walks out of a revolving glass door and I shake out my hands, shredding my nervousness. and head that way.
I see a girl around my age coming out of a room, with change in her hand.
I must look lost, because she says, “Can I help you?”
“Yeah, I called a little earlier about an apartment for rent.”
“Oh yes. Go on in the office and have a seat. I’m just grabbing a drink. Would you like one?”
“No, thanks.”
She’s gorgeous and all legs while I’m a sweaty mess with a windblown ponytail. The elevator dings and a few people step out. I give a polite smile before I walk into the small office.
Looking around at gray carpet and a simple brown desk with a few items covering it, I jump when she says, “Let’s go take a look then.” She smiles. “Scare ya?”
I clear my throat. “A little.” She cracks the lid to her orange Fanta and pulls a drawer out from the desk. Keys jingle in her hand and she hits her hip against the drawer as she takes a sip from her drink.
She swallows. “The first one is on the top floor.”
I nod as she hits the elevator button.
“You from the city?”
“No,” I reply, looking over at her.
“Me either,” she says. “I actually grew up in the country. But I live with my boyfriend, Cain, a little way from here.”
&
nbsp; I give her a small smile, turning my eyes back to the doors in front of us.
“What about you?” she asks.
“What about me?”
“Where did you grow up?”
“Oh, umm north of here,” I respond.
“Not a big talker, are you?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I guess not. No.” It’s not that I labeled myself “not a big talker,” I just haven’t had a whole lot of people to talk to. Besides my regular customers who came into the diner, but I never talked about my personal life with them. I mainly listened to theirs.
“I’m Claire.”
“Kat,” I say.
“Good to meet you.”
“Likewise,” I say as the doors slide open so we can step in. The ride up is filled with Claire talking about places to eat and things to do near here. I’m grateful for her input, because I don’t know a thing about this big city and I’m sure I’d get lost in a minute.
Brass doors open, revealing a carpeted hallway with art on the walls. “Right down here,” she says. We walk side by side before stopping. Claire unlocks it and says, “After you.”
I walk past her and take in the apartment that’s nicer than the first one I looked at. The walls are clean, the kitchen smallish, but you can see into the living room, which makes it look more open.
“It includes a gym, pool, and we have an entertainment room. You can throw parties there and such,” she says with a shrug. “There is no deposit. You just have to pay the first and last months’ rent. You can lease it for six months or a year. It’s up to you.”
I nod as my eyes scan the living room area. My heart does a backflip and lands with style. She smiles big, filling my chest with a sense of awe. I run my finger over the countertops and look into the fridge. The stove is new, and the microwave door is closed.
You couldn’t shut ours back at home. The monster tore it up so if closed it would keep running. I closed the door one time and received a gnarly slap in the face. I rub my cheek as I open the door and look inside.
“Do you go to school? There’s a big discount for college kids.”
I shut the door and turn to her. “No.”
“Oh, well, I can work something out for you.” She winks.
Give Me Perfect Love (Give Me Series Book 2) Page 2