I narrow my eyes, but clink glasses with him before tossing fire down my throat.
Jace shrugs his coat off and takes a seat beside me, slipping the saved cigarette from his ear that he never smoked earlier.
“What do you say about that nurse?” he asks, lighting his cigarette.
“She seems to know her job.”
“That’s not what I mean.” He grins and blows smoke into the air. A gray trail rises above us and spreads out into the atmosphere. There’s no smoking in here either, but I’m not in the mood to be his dad.
“I know what you mean. Don’t mess with her. She’s taking care of Mary.”
He picks at the label on his beer. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “Think she’s going to make it out of this?”
I shrug. “Who knows.”
He grabs the bottle and pours us another round. “Let’s drink on it,” he says. “To Mary.”
I lift my glass. “To Mary.”
The mood shifts from laid-back bar to raging nightclub within a few hours’ time. We’ve had more shots, but Jace has disappeared with some buddies of his to the private lounge, and I sit in the same spot I was before.
My eyes look around the place as I take another sip from the beer I just got. I’ve had several of these, but I’m not wasted, just perfectly mellow and not worrying about shit. Ben stands at the bottom of the staircase, always watching.
The guy needs a fucking night off.
I take another swig, and then my eyes stop wandering.
They head south, taking in the black heels that cover her pretty feet. A dress that fits like a glove covers the body I love, and her hair is down and wavy. Her girl stands at her side, but she’s not conversing with Kat. She’s too busy grinning at Austin, and I don’t know why those two won’t just fuck and get it over with.
I didn’t know K was going out tonight. She sent me a text earlier and said she was staying in with Claire. I finish my beer and place it on the bar.
“Bobby,” I call over to him. “Give me four shots and four more of these.”
He nods, and I stand, adjusting my hat as I walk toward the girl I can’t get enough of. I’m still in jeans, a hoodie, and my snapback, having no desire to dress like Bryce Grant tonight. Instead, I choose to look like John Walker’s son. I lost his name when Lee adopted us. But the boy who owned it isn’t gone.
When she notices me, her whole body shifts. Gray-silver eyes look at me like I did her, and lips I love to kiss lift as I walk closer.
I reach for her hand and pull her to me, breathing in sweet violet mixed with the intoxicating scent that is all her. “Hey, baby,” I say into her ear.
“Hey,” she replies stiffer than normal. She’s still mad at me from this morning. She should be. I didn’t mean what I said, but that doesn’t make it hurt less. I place my hand on her lower back, looking at her arms and noticing she has goosebumps. Even mad I still have an effect on her.
“You cold?” I ask.
She shakes her head.
I nod with a smirk. This woman gives me more than she’ll ever know. I’ve been stressed all day, between our argument, Mary, and dealing with my brother’s shit, but having her close to me again evaporates my anxiety, letting me breathe again. I turn to her friends.
“Austin, Claire,” I greet. “There’s some beer and shots waiting for you at the bar.”
“Thanks, man,” Austin says. “By the way, I’ll be done with your car this upcoming week. She’s looking badass, dude.”
I grin. “I can’t wait to drive her.”
We all start to walk toward the bar.
“I’ll give you a call and let you know when I’m done. We can take it out to the track.”
“Sounds good.” I look down at Kat.
“Is that the same car he’s been working on since we met?” she asks.
“Yeah. Several parts were on backorder.”
“Ah,” she says. “Well, I can’t wait to see it.”
I grab her beer and shot glass. Handing them to her, I lean in and whisper into her ear, “I can’t wait to fuck you in it.” I plant a kiss on her cheek before turning and getting my beer and shot glass, too. My eyes dart to her as Claire makes a toast. Her cheeks are pink, and she licks her lips before we all take our shots.
“How’s your mom?” K asks me as she takes a seat on the barstool.
“Same. Jace was at the hospital with me.”
“Really? Did he head back to the ranch?”
“No. He’s upstairs.”
“Oh! I want to go see him.” She slides off the stool and I grab her arm, knowing my brother is up there with cocaine.
“Why don’t you stay down here with me?” Austin and Claire watch us, but I don’t give a shit. I know what Jace is up there doing, and I don’t want K seeing it.
Kat narrows her eyes at me. “I want to say hey and besides, I’m not over everything that happened this morning. I want answers, Grant. And I will get them.” My anxiety is back. I knew she wasn’t going to drop it.
Of course, it couldn’t have been that easy.
She takes her arm back and walks ahead, and there’s nothing I can do. I’ve got the most hardheaded woman in this fucking place. Lucky me.
“Hey, Ben.” I hear her say as I walk up behind her.
“Kat,” he greets her, but his eyes look to me.
“Can I come up?” she asks.
I nod at him, and he steps to the side. Kat looks back at me with a what the hell expression, clearly finding it ridiculous that she had to ask permission. I sigh, and she climbs the stairs.
Ben stops me. “You know what he’s doing up there?”
“I know, but do you think we can stop her?”
He smirks. “That’s all you, man.”
I roll my eyes as I continue up the stairs. K opens the door and walks in and I hit the top step.
The scene before us is one I’ve been a part of several times, but nothing I’ve wanted my girl to see. The room is dark, save for the dancing lights above. Jace is leaning down with a white line as long as the table he’s snorting from. Girls are dancing naked, and some guys are playing poker.
Jace leans his head back after he sniffs. Closing his eyes, he mumbles, “Ahh.”
He sniffs again and rubs his nose before tossing the rolled-up bill onto the table. His eyes look to us. I rub a hand down my neck.
“Kat!” he says with his big Jace smile. He’s cocained up and I’m not sure what else. He stands and walks over to us.
“Um. Hey, Jace,” she says as he wraps her up in a hug. He looks at me from her back like, what the fuck, dude?
I shrug. “She wanted to tell you hey.”
Jace puts her down. “We were just having a little private party here. These are some of my buddies from the Army.” He rubs his nose. “They’re in town for the week, so I wanted to show them a good time. Boys, this is Kat. Best fucking girl around.”
They lift a hand and wave at her before getting back to their gambling.
The boy riding on a cocaine high is all over the place; he’s black-eyed and sticky sweaty.
Kat’s eyes scan the room, from the drugs to the naked women and booze covering every inch of the place. The girls look over at me.
Shit.
“Bryce,” the one I’ve messed with says, walking over, wearing only panties and ruby red lipstick.
I hold up my hand, stopping her from hugging me. She looks over at K who could possibly murder every one of us right now with the look on her face.
“Right,” K says to Jace. “Well, I’ve told you hey, so I’ll let you get back to it.”
Jace grabs her arm as she turns to leave, guilt written all over his face. “This is not something I do all the time.”
Yeah, right.
“It’s your life, Jace.” She darts her eyes to red lipstick girl and only briefly looks at me as she walks out. I don’t follow her.
“Is that the new girl everyone is talking about?” Standing here practically naked in
front of us all, this girl has no shame.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Yeah, that’s my girl.”
Jace hits my shoulder. “Really, man?”
“Hey, I tried to stop her from coming up here. Maybe you should clean your life up and you wouldn’t have anything to hide.”
“Maybe I like living my life like this.”
I nod sardonically. “So, you have nothing to be ashamed of then.” I turn and walk out, jogging down the stairs. “Where’d she go?” I ask Ben.
He points to the dance floor as I lift my hat, dropping it back down lazily on top my head. I see her and Claire dancing, and I need another beer. Walking over to the bar, I order a round and turn my head toward the dance floor. She hates wearing heels, and that dress is tight as shit.
Is she trying to impress me? Or is it these fucks here?
Anger bubbles up inside of me with that thought, and maybe I need something stronger than this beer. I order another shot and throw it back, and that’s all it takes. My head is swimming now, and I’ve had one too many.
I bring the bottle to my lips just as a guy grabs Kat’s ass. My actions don’t let my thoughts catch up, and before I know it, I’m punching the man in the face over and over. I hear my name being yelled, and I see blood when it splatters from the guy’s nose. “Keep your fucking hands to yourself!” I snarl before being yanked back.
“Bryce, what the hell?” K says as I find her in the crowd, looking wide-eyed with her hand over her mouth. The music has shut off, and my eyes look down at the guy I’ve hit repeatedly.
“Let’s go,” Ben says to me. I look back at him like he’s lost his mind. This is my fucking place. I’m not leaving. His expression says play along. I yank out of his hold but walk to the door that leads out of the club.
“You need to get upstairs, Grant. You’ve had one too many, and that fuck could sue the shit out of you. Luckily, you’re not dressed like the club owner you are.” He looks down at my clothes before peering behind him as I run a hand over my busted knuckles. Jesus, I’ve done this too many times in the past couple of days.
K comes storming out in too high heels and a wrinkle between her brows. “What the hell was that?” she demands, walking up to me.
I cross my arms over my chest, lifting my chin toward the club, like what I just did was justified. “That guy grabbed your ass.”
“And you didn’t even give me time to defend myself.”
“Well, if you weren’t wearing that outfit, he wouldn’t have even touched you.” My mind goes back to our breakup and the dress she was wearing that night.
Why does she do this to me?
She slaps the side of her thighs. “Oh, so you’re saying if I don’t dress up, I’m not even worth looking at?”
I rub a hand up my face, hitting the flat bill of my hat. “No. Fuck.”
I turn and hear Claire. “Kat?” she says, walking over with Austin close behind her. Claire’s eyes dart to me, and I see the unsureness in them. She thinks I’m bad for her friend, and maybe I am. “Let’s get home. You two need to cool off.”
I want to say mind your own business, but K speaks up. “Yeah. Let’s go.” She shocks me before turning and walking to her friends.
“K,” I call out.
She turns back as she speaks. “I’ll call you in the morning. Sleep it off.”
I go to walk after her, but Ben stops me. “Grant, I think she’s right, man. What good is going to come out of this tonight?”
My eyes dart to him before looking back at K. She’s walking away from me…again. That’s the second time in one day.
I shrug out of his hold. “Fuck this.” I turn and walk around the corner to the alleyway. Jogging up the metal stairs that lead to my apartment, I barge inside and toss my hat onto the counter, walking to the door that leads into the private area where my brother is.
“Party’s over,” I say, walking to the bar and grabbing a bottle. “Get the fuck out.”
The girls scramble to grab their clothes, and the guys at the table slide the chairs out.
“Yo, your brother has some issues, man,” one of them says to Jace.
I eyeball him. “What the fuck did you just say?”
He holds up his hands. “I don’t mean any disrespect, dude. Just stating a fact here.” He lifts his brow. “We’ll call you tomorrow,” he says to Jace who lifts his hand lazily, giving them a wave, looking down at the table as he holds on to the bottom of his beer. The lights dance over his face, and I walk to the window, looking down at the crowd of people still here, dancing, drinking, in their own little worlds of shit.
I’m drowning here.
I bring the bottle to my lips as our own music in the room switches from dance to soft lyrics about fading into you. Mazzy Star croons and my insides feel like melting lava.
I’ve got a temper; I have a hard time controlling it. More so now than ever. Kat makes me crazy. I’ve never thought I had anything to lose, but the thought of losing her terrifies me and is making me act out.
Jace is sinking farther down, and I don’t know how to help him. My mom is in a fucking coma, and I don’t know how to wake her up.
K’s probably ready to jump ship, and part of me doesn’t blame her. She didn’t sign up for this mess. The song switches to “Every Time the Sun Comes Up” by Sharon Van Etten, and I lean my forehead against the window as I hear my brother snort another line.
My eyes burn, and my body feels like falling. Tired lids shut over my pained eyes and a tear slips, rolling down my cheek, and I’ve never felt so helpless.
Chapter Seventeen
Kathrine
Sleep-deprived and looking like it, I walk into the club, taking in how clean it looks considering the party that went on here last night. My eyes dart to the dance floor where Bryce beat a man’s face in. I’ve never seen rage like that, and it scared the hell out of me.
If he acts like that because a guy touched me, I can’t imagine what he’d do if it were worse. That’s three fights in a matter of days.
Is this a normal thing for him? He didn’t get into a fight when we were just friends. I think back on the drive-in movie he took me to. I’m shocked as hell now that he didn’t fight Nash who was such a creep. Bryce was so right about him. I remember the argument we had in the rain and how I got out of the car like an idiot. Inner me shakes her head.
Maybe Bryce didn’t fight Nash because we weren’t official yet? I don’t know.
Hell, I don’t know anything.
Ben sits at a booth with some other guy I’ve never seen before. He has gold chains and a belly, clean-shaven, and the light reflects off his diamond pinky ring. Does Ben live here? He’s never away.
“He’s upstairs,” Ben says, already knowing who I’m looking for. He looks tired, too, and I’m grateful for him because he got Bryce out of the club last night. I’m one hundred percent positive no one else could have done that.
The other guy eyeballs me, and I wonder who he is, but I’m not in the mood to ask right now. I slept like shit last night. I didn’t want to leave. But I also didn’t want to fight. It was a tough choice because my heart was pulling me back the whole way home while my mind was throwing up red flags and telling me to get out.
Bryce and I have passion and a chemistry I’ve never felt before, but there’s also this struggle inside of us, this need to fight. He’s controlling and bossy, and I’m stubborn and flight risky. Together, we’re a perfect shit storm.
I’m just worried about the damage left over when it’s all said and done.
Austin and Claire hardly talked on the way home last night, but I could feel the judgment rolling off them in waves.
My two closest friends think this is nuts.
They think I’ve gotten myself into a mess more so than with my ex Mark. I can hear everything Claire isn’t saying, but I’m thankful she’s keeping quiet.
I head up the stairs, opening the door to the private area. The smell of stale beer mingles with women’
s perfume and cigarette smoke.
Jace sits on the couch, his elbows resting on his knees with a smoke hanging from his fingertips.
The room is messy, the poker table still covered with filled ashtrays and empty beer bottles. Music softly plays from the Bluetooth, rugged words from Johnny Cash, singing “God’s Gonna Cut You Down”.
“You been up all night?” I ask as he looks up at me. His eyes are red-rimmed, and he looks like shit.
He sniffs, shaking his head as he takes a drag from his smoke, the end of it lighting his facial features. “I slept a little.”
“You okay?” I ask.
He smirks. “Don’t worry about me, Kat. Your guy’s in there, worried enough for this whole damn city.” Smoke blows from his mouth, and he runs a hand over his freshly shaved head.
I nod before leaving him and walking up the stairs to the loft. Bryce lies facedown on the bed, his shoes kicked off at the foot. I shut the door behind me.
The heat is on in here and it’s toasty warm, causing me to remove my coat and scarf. My cheeks are still frosty from the whipping wind, and my mind is foggy from lack of sleep. A pain in my chest I can’t describe sits heavy, and I rub at it after I hang my coat over the back of the sofa.
Walking closer to what my heart’s been aching all night for, I stare down at the man I love. His lips are slightly open, his blues closed.
He’s a beautiful mess.
Hungover from hell from the look of the empty liquor bottle on the floor and the fact he was already drunk before he started on it.
“Get up,” I say, lifting my foot and nudging the hand that’s hanging off.
He blinks his eyes open, wincing. I look at the wall of windows as the stabbing sun shines through. Walking over, I press a button that lets the shade roll down.
“Thanks,” he says. In yesterday’s clothes and a voice that sounds like gravel, he moves and rests his forearms on his thighs, and I know if he had a head full of hair, it’d be a perfect mess.
“So, what the hell was that last night?” I stand with my hands on my hips, feeling like he looks.
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