I blinked back tears and flipped through the portfolio, to the information I’d marked with sticky notes. I turned to the corresponding page in my contacts folder and traced a line down the row of numbers. I needed paint, and help from some professional painters. I wasn’t about to trust that task to soldiers on the base – they didn’t have the necessary experience and I didn’t want to waste what funding I did have repainting.
“Okay,” I said, “okay. This isn’t so bad. Easy. You can do this.” If I focused on all the tasks at hand, I wouldn’t have time to cry over Ryan or my idiocy in having fallen for him in the first place.
The door creaked open and I frowned, turning toward it. My stomach dipped and whooped back up again. “What do you want?”
Jack Whitmore stood there, gripping the edge of the door, a strange smile twisting his lips. “Is that any way to say hello to an old friend?”
“An old friend? I’ve known you less than a month,” I replied, and tamped down on my fear. Jack’s expression was that of a predator – if I let him see he was getting to me he’d pounce before I got the chance to formulate a plan. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be under guard?”
He entered my room and shut the door. Didn’t lock it, though, thank goodness.
“That’s the thing, I shouldn’t be under guard. I wasn’t the one who beat up that kid, and a lot of the soldiers on this base know it,” he said, then cast a glance around the room. He gestured to my bed. “Mind if I sit down?”
“Yes.”
He grinned and plonked down on the mattress anyway. “Thanks,” he said, and hooked one leg up to rest it on the other, knee jutting outward. “You see, most of the soldiers around here know what Ryan is capable of and they don’t believe that I was the one who hurt that kid.”
“I don’t want to talk about this. Or anything. I think it would be better if you left,” I said, and slowly reached for my cellphone. The signal wasn’t the best, but I had Ryan’s office number and I’d call it if I had to, though the thought of relying on him now ate at me.
“But you need to hear it before you continue messing with him. I swear, I’m only here to help you.”
“I said I don’t want to hear it.” I picked up the cell and held it fast.
“You need to. He’s always been a little crazy, but it’s like I said, he was changed when he came back, after he lost all those men. And now, he’s been demoted –”
“What?” Ryan didn’t tell me that.
“Oh, you didn’t know? He was demoted from Lieutenant Commander to Petty Officer. I suppose you’ve heard he’s shipping out to Hawaii soon.”
“Yes,” I replied, but how the hell did he know this? He was a prisoner, or he was supposed to be.
“I have friends,” he said, as if he’d read the question on my face. “A lot of really good friends who know that I’m not capable of hurting another human being. An innocent one, at least.”
“Oh yeah? Then how did you get those marks?” I gestured to the healing wounds on his knuckles.
“These? I fell.”
“You fell on your knuckles,” I replied, deadpan, and surreptitiously unlocked the screen on my cell.
“That’s right. I was running away because of what I’d seen. Ryan scared me.”
“I don’t know what you think you’re going to achieve by telling me this,” I said, “it doesn’t make a difference what you say to me.”
“It has to,” Whitmore replied, then hung his head.
I took the opportunity to scroll through my contacts to the number for Ryan’s office. I hit dial before I could second-guess my decision. I pressed my thumb over the speaker so the sound of ringing wouldn’t travel and alert Whitmore to what I’d done.
“What are you talking about? Why is it so important that I believe this?” I asked.
“Because you’re the only one who can help me put him behind bars. Can’t you see what a manipulator he is?” Whitmore speared me with his gaze. “He’s leaving isn’t he? He probably told you he cared about you, and he’s leaving you behind.”
How did he know any of this? It sent shivers up and down my spine. “That’s none of your business.”
“It’s everyone’s business. He made it our business by getting involved with you. Look, I’m not here to make you feel bad about what happened, but the fact that it did happen jeopardized the entire base. And if Commander Shepherd finds out that you did anything untoward with Ryan, you can bet he’s going to rescind the contract.”
How the hell did he know about the contract? Christ, this was beyond creepy. “Who have you been talking to?” I asked. “Who told you all of this?”
“I have my sources. Friends,” he said. “They’re on my side. I just want you to help me put Baker where he belongs. Behind bars.”
“And if I don’t?” I looked down at the phone, but the call had already ended without being answered.
“Then you’ll lose the contract and I’ll make sure that you never work on another military installation again.”
Asshole. What a total asshole. “No one will believe you, and he’s already been demoted,” I said, “why do you care so much about what happens to him? And don’t give me that story about him having beaten up Timothy. We both know that’s not true.” I had to buy time. I tapped Ryan’s office number again and redialed.
“He has you,” Whitmore said.
My world rocked back and forth. “Huh?” I couldn’t form a proper question in response to that.
“He took you before I had a chance,” Whitmore continued, and tilted his head to one side, studying me up and down, head to toe. Shivers coursed across my skin. “You see, I could’ve had you. You could’ve been my girl, and I wouldn’t have jeopardized this base in the process.”
I opened my mouth then snapped it shut again. Once again, the call ended without going through to Ryan’s office. My pulse ticked up a notch – Christ, what would happen if I didn’t get hold of someone soon?
What if Jack decided to hurt me or… I couldn’t even think it.
“I would’ve treated you like a princess.”
Finally, I found my words. “And threatening me is how you treat a princess? I worked hard to get this contract and now you’re going to try take it away from me if I don’t do what you want.”
Jack scooched off the edge of the bed and sauntered toward me. “Don’t you see? Everything I’ve done has been for you. I want you to be safe.”
He was too close. My body tensed up, muscles corded, and my fingernails bit into the meat of my palms, cutting crescent moons into my skin.
“I want you to have a good life and you could’ve had it with me.”
“P-Paula,” I stammered.
“She’s nothing compared to you. All I wanted was you, all along, gorgeous. I couldn’t even fuck Paula because it drove me mad thinking about you with him.”
Whether this was true or not, Whitmore had a serious envy problem. I’d ended up with Ryan and he wanted to change that, either because he liked me in a psychopathic way or because he wanted to take me from Ryan.
“You know you want this as much as I do,” he said, and pried the phone from my hand. He glanced at the screen and chuckled. “Look at the initiative you’re willing to take. But he didn’t answer, did he? No, he’s probably too busy for you, now. Busy getting ready to leave for another base. Leave you behind like a piece of trash. He used you and now he’s done with you. You’ll never see him again.”
“Stop it,” I said, and tears prickled in the corners of my eyes. “None of that’s true.”
“Then why hasn’t he come to save you from me, huh? That’s what you want, isn’t it? You want Ryan to come save you from big, bad me.” He traced a line down my jaw and I flinched away. “Well, you were right about one thing.”
“What?”
“I did put Timothy in a coma, and I’ll do it to anyone who gets in my way,” he said, and pinched my chin. He shook my head from side-to-side. “If you won’t have
me, if you won’t help me, I’ll ruin you. And if that doesn’t scare you… Hmmm, I can fabricate something else.”
I gulped, and sweat dripped down my temples.
“I can picture it now. You beaten black and blue by Ryan. Oh yeah, that would work. See, everyone thinks I’m under guard and everyone’s heard the rumors about you two together. They’ll assume that you had a huge blowout after you found out he’d been reassigned.”
I struggled back but Whitmore held my chin fast.
“And then Ryan will be ruined and so will you. So, what’s it going to be?” he asked. “You going to help me bring him down, or am I going to make you.” Whitmore raised a fist and admired his bruised and battered knuckles.
My choice had changed from staying or going, to staying or possibly dying.
“I love Ryan,” I said, loudly, and glared daggers up at him. Never give up. Never surrender. Don’t show them fear, girl, or they’ll know that they’ve gotten to you. You have one real choice in life: die on your knees or die with integrity. I know which I’d choose.
“What?”
“I love him and I won’t help you,” I said, then squeezed my eyes shut.
Chapter 30
Ryan
I kicked the door hard enough that the wood beside the lintel splintered. I’d never known rage like this. It melted the blood in my veins to molten lava, it burned through my muscles and scalded my core.
“Mother fucker!” I streaked into the room, fists up.
Whitmore stood there, his own raised, and smirked at me. Chanel sat in a chair beside her desk, her eyes flicked open and she sucked in a gasp.
“I’ll kill you,” I said, voice trembling. I clung to the last shards of my resolve.
“Don’t,” Chanel hissed. “Don’t do it. That’s what he wants. He wants you to do something stupid so that he’ll win.”
Win? There wasn’t any winning here. All I had now was bitter remorse for everything that’d happened between us over the course of the last few weeks. Bitterness and an ache to be with her again.
“Do it,” Whitmore said, tone sinuous, snake-like. “Do it, Baker. You know you’ve wanted to do it for as long as we’ve known each other.”
A flicker of shock retarded my anger. “What?” I kept my fists up though, ready to ram this motherfucker into non-existence for what he’d said, what he’d threatened to do. How far could one man stray from what he was meant to be?
Whitmore had been a soldier. But this, this thing in front of me? No, this wasn’t a soldier. This wasn’t a man of honor and discipline.
And what was I if I beat him for this? He hadn’t put a hand on Chanel, though he had threatened her. I lowered my fists. “I’m not like you,” I said.
Whitmore snorted.
Chanel scrambled out of the chair and rushed toward me. She positioned herself behind me, but didn’t lay hands on my body. It was good – I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate if she had.
She loved me. She’d said it only seconds ago. She actually loved me, and I sure as hell loved her back though there wasn’t a thing I could do to change any of this. I couldn’t condemn her to a life like mine. She couldn’t understand what it was like, moving constantly, deployment, months of being alone. No, I couldn’t sentence her to that.
“Focus on me, Baker,” Whitmore said, and clicked his fingers at me. “Focus on what I’m going to do to you.”
“And what’s that? Attack me?” I let out a raw chuckle. “I know you won’t do it. You’re a coward.”
Whitmore clenched his fists. “If anyone’s a coward here, it’s you. You’re the one who can’t do what it takes to get ahead. Look at you, you piece of shit, you just got demoted. And you don’t even care, do you?”
Of course, I cared, but not because of the loss of rank. I didn’t have a choice in any of it, but losing the soldiers I’d worked with ate at me. I’d done my best to provide them with what they needed here and to be a good leader.
“This is a waste of time,” I said, and turned my head. I kept Whitmore in my peripheral vision, but focused on Chanel. “Can you find Jameson for me? Tell her where Whitmore is.”
“Yes,” she said, and hurried out without a backward glance.
Some of the tension I was holding eased. She was out of danger now, at least.
Whitmore remained where he was, but the slant of his shoulder said he was relaxed, unconcerned that he’d broken free and would be punished for it. Especially, when Chanel decided to lay harassment charges against him.
“You’ve only made things worse for yourself,” I said.
“And worse for you too,” Whitmore replied, “as long as I do that, that’s all that matters.”
“When did you become this person? You were never evil.”
“Evil,” Whitmore snorted. “I’m not evil. I’m just exhausted from pretending I can stand who you are anymore. Everyone here worships you but they don’t know who you really are. The cold asshole who thinks he’s better than everyone else.”
It wasn’t true. I didn’t think that and never had, but I understood what it took to perform a duty. It was a heavy burden and I’d always borne it without complaint… for the most part.
“You don’t understand anything, Jack. I don’t even think you know who you are anymore.”
“That’s rich coming from you,” Whitmore said, then shook his head. “No, I know who I am. I’m the guy who does whatever it takes to get things done the right way. You’re the guy who’ll sit back and do nothing.”
I didn’t dare show weakness in front of him, but I itched to pinch the bridge of my nose and rid myself of the sinus headache that had sprung up.
“How did you free yourself?”
Whitmore shrugged. “I have friends here who know that you’re too weak to lead, and that I should be the one carrying the mantle of Lieutenant Commander. Once you’re gone, I’ll probably get the title.”
“It’s not a title,” I replied.
“Everyone knows that you slept with her,” Whitmore continued, “I warned you about that, Baker. I warned you that what you’d done would come back to bite you in the ass, but you didn’t listen, and now you’re going to pay the price.”
“Did you change the roster?” I asked.
Whitmore let out a raw, throat-cracking laugh. “Did I change the roster?” He mocked me, then rolled his eyes. “Christ, you should be a comic. No, dumbass, I didn’t change the fucking guard schedule. How would I have managed that? I told you, I have friends who know the truth about you.”
Footsteps rang down the halls, the hurried click of heels on tile, and I eased my shoulders. Soon, we’d put him back where he belonged, or rather, where he’d stay until he was put in military prison – where he truly deserved to be.
Jack’s little show made me sick, and it only proved what Commander Shepherd had decided was in the base’s best interests. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I had fucked up. I’d brought too much emotion into my decision-making process and that had effected everything.
If I’d gone with my gut instincts about Whitmore, none of this would’ve happened. If I’d held off with Chanel – No. That wouldn’t have changed anything. Anyway, I wouldn’t have been able to hold back.
Jameson entered the room, closely followed by Chanel, and two other privates in their uniforms. Petty Officer Jameson’s face centered around a scowl. She glared at Whitmore, wordlessly.
“What?” Whitmore asked. “I got bored waiting for someone to come take up the guard position. What was I supposed to do? Wait around?” He laughed again.
Jameson signaled for the two privates to take him, then deferred to me for orders.
“Back to his holding cell,” I said, and grimaced at the term. “I want to find out how he got out and why Officer Wyatt wasn’t on duty as he was meant to be.”
“Oh, I might know the answer to that.” Whitmore tapped the side of his nose. “But I probably won’t tell. I dunno, you’ll have to convince me.”
&
nbsp; I glanced at Chanel, her open gaze, filled with a mixture of fear and outrage, then nodded once. “If you need anything –” I trailed off, catching a strange glance shared between the two privates. “Don’t hesitate to contact Petty Officer Jameson,” I continued, “she’ll help you, Miss Scott. Best of luck with the refurbishment of the base.”
Chanel nodded and took a couple steps back from the door, to allow us all passage. She didn’t so much as look at me.
The two privates took point, leading their prisoner between them, I followed with Jameson in tow.
“You’re not fooling anyone, you know,” Whitmore cast back over his shoulder.
“Quiet,” Jameson snapped.
The gray halls slid by, along with a few other soldiers who narrowed their eyes at our moving group. Was their disdain for Whitmore or for me? The creeping paranoia settled around my shoulders. I couldn’t shake it off.
Whitmore had sown the seed of doubt in my mind and it sprouted into a sapling. I had to chop it down before it became a tree. Jack was motivated by an intense need to ‘outdo’ me. I couldn’t trust what he’d said, but the doubt was still there. Waiting for a burst of sunlight to give it strength.
We rounded the corner and marched right up to Whitmore’s ‘room,’ then entered, him first, Jameson after, and finally me. I didn’t hesitate, though it made my skin crawl to be close to him again.
I’d never had such a test of my temper in my entire life.
The privates sat him down at a table in the center of the room, then retreated to the door and hovered on either side of it.
“Outside,” I said, “and close it behind you.” I might not have been a Lieutenant Commander anymore, but I still outranked them.
They saluted, then moved out of the room and shut the door.
I took a chair opposite Whitmore, and Jameson sat down beside me. We both studied him, impassively – I hoped that was how it came off.
“I didn’t think you’d make a good lackey, Jameson,” Jack said, and raised an eyebrow at her.
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