by Day, Malcolm
KINGS &
QUEENS
Malcolm Day
Contents
Introduction
Refugee from Ancient Israel?
How the Trojan Brutus may have been Britain’s first Jew
Bladud
Legendary Celtic founder of Bath with Atheian Arts
Tragic Loss Regained
The alternative account to Shakespeare on King Lear
Who Made Britain’s First Laws?
Our bard says it was King Mulmutius
Lud, Lover of London
An early town planner
Celtic Charioteers Shock Caesar
How Cassivellaunus stalled the mighty Romans
You’ve Never Had It So Good
Rare peace and prosperity under Cymbeline
A Charmed Life
Despite heavy defeats Caractacus has the last word in Rome
Holy War
The sacred hare of Boudicca
Did Constantine the Great have a British Grandfather?
Could it have been Old King Cole?
Great Mounted Archer
Arthur’s role in a Somerset zodiac
The Mystery of Sutton Hoo
Was this the state funeral of the Anglo-Saxon king Redwald?
First Christian English King
Ethelbert sees the Roman Church as key to political power
Dyke Twice the Length of Hadrian’s Wall
But why did the great Offa build one at all?
First Saxon King of England
An unpromising start sees Egbert rise to the top
The Mystique of Scone
Kenneth MacAlpine inaugurates Scottish monarchy
The King Who Forgave his Enemies
Alfred the Great, gentleman and scholar
Youngest Ever Royal Philanderer
Eadwig the lustful
Coronation Ceremony is Model for Europe
Edgar ‘The Peaceful’ is compared to Christ
Dorset’s Great Royal Pilgrimage
Edward the Martyr is champion of Russian Orthodox Church
Was Ethelred Really ‘Unready’?
How come such a sloth reigned for 38 years?
Ironside on the Case
Wessex’s pride restored
Canute Demonstrates Limits to Earthly Power
England’s fiery Danish king is a man of contrasts
Saintly Healer of the King’s Evil
But was the founder of Westminster Abbey really that pious?
Portents of Disaster
Shipwreck and shooting star spell the end of Saxon England
Changed Forever
William the Conqueror ensures no reversions
Live by the Arrow and Ye Shall Die by the Arrow
William ‘Rufus’ gets his comeuppance
The King Never Smiled Again
The sorrowful fate of Henry I
Twelve Year Old Weds Holy Roman Emperor
Uncrowned Queen Matilda mothers Plantagenet dynasty
Anarchy under Stephen
Worst excesses in English history
Penitent Ruler of Europe’s Largest Empire
Henry II and his ‘turbulent priest’
Ransom for a King
Chivalrous ‘Lionheart’ who cost his country dear
Church Bells Fall Silent
King John invokes the wrath of all
Too Nice For His Own Good
Civilised Henry III loses touch
Zealous Reformer Persecutes Minorities
Edward I expels Jews and prostitutes
Old Enemy Vanquished in a Day
Robert ‘the Bruce’ delivers at Bannockburn
Pansy Meets Grisly End
Not all is proper in the reign of Edward II
Order of the Garter is Toast of the Town
Edward III leads a golden age of chivalry
Child King Survives a Nest of Vipers
How Richard II found his character
Murky Rise of House of Lancaster
Henry Bolingbroke plots downfall of Richard II
French Crown Slips from Henry V’s Grasp
Hard graft ends in twist of fate
Architect of Eton Not Interested in Ruling
Henry VI more monk than king
Yorkist Star Rises
Edward IV flies in the face of ‘Kingmaker’
Wicked Uncle or Cornered Rat?
Did Richard III really deserve his evil image?
Patron of Expansion
Henry VII commissions Cabot to set sail
Canny Scot Eyes Opportunity
James IV considers alliance with ‘Richard IV’ of England
Visionary Supremo
Why did Henry VIII not abandon his Supremacy once he had a son as heir?
King with Socialist Agenda
Edward VI points the way to care of the underprivileged
Lady Jane Grey Faints on Hearing News
England’s nine-day queen
Phantom Pregnancy Changes All
Mary I’s popularity turns sour without heir
Two Cousins Who Never Met
The Scottish and English queens
Faerie Queen from Broken Home
Brave Queen Elizabeth never recovers
Eager Scot Opens Can of Worms
James VI of Scotland has no idea what trials await him as James I of England
So Good a Man, So Bad a King
Failed experiment of the principled Charles I
Time of Gay Abandon Comes to Woeful End
Charles II liberates devils from Puritan prison
Fleeing into Exile Disguised as a Girl
The brief reign of James II
Unlikely Double Act
Mary distraught at having to marry unattractive William
Anne Bears More Children Than Any Other English Queen
Yet none to continue Stuart line
German Prince Beats Rivals to the Throne
The English non-plussed with George I
Useful Conformist
George II is meat and drink to Robert Walpole
Struggle for Power
George III faces the realities of a modernising democracy
The Prince Who Lost His Charm
The ungovernable Prince of ‘Whales’ and George IV
Surprised to be King
Sober William IV is welcome relief
Propping Up The Queen
Victoria and her men
Pleasure Seeker
Edward VII epitomises age of excitement
Hanover Dropped
George V endeavours to keep onside in wartime strife
Eligible Bachelor Becomes Figure of Mistrust
Edward VIII’s fall from grace
Fearless in War, Fearful in Life
Stuttering Bertie becomes the people’s champion
Fashion Icon to Fading Star
Elizabeth II was precocious but could she mother?
INTRODUCTION
When Prince Charles, though not actually king, but acting in the full role of heir apparent, objected to the proposed building of a modernist extension to the National Gallery, his remark that it would be like ‘a monstrous carbuncle on the face of a much loved friend’ in many respects could only have been uttered by one blessed with royal prerogative. Anyone dispensable would never have dared to object with such forceful condemnation. Whatever our feelings about the right he might have had to make such a comment, the fact that he made it underlies the age-old reality that royalty knows no limits.
Until they were reined in by Parliament, British monarchs historically have done whatever pleases t
hem, sometimes regretfully and to their undoing. But it is just this unbounded wilfulness that provides us with an enduring fascination for the royals. Sovereigns were for so long a rule unto themselves – and we surely envy such unrestrained liberty! Certainly to read about the eccentric, the bombastic, the outrageous deeds in these lives adds a vivid streak of colour to the mundane sphere of humanity, like blue veins through a cheese.
Indeed it is royalty’s idea of self-importance – of being accountable to noone – that has set them apart. No wonder the notion of blue blood makes us smile: it is absurd yet appealing, and in a way it perfectly symbolises the historically held belief that our kings and queens came gift-wrapped in divine protection. Absolute power was bestowed in equal measure on the weak as on the mighty, the vain as the earnest, the desultory as the ambitious. Whatever earthly sin they may commit, deadly or venal, it was as nothing so long as blue blood coursed through the veins of its perpetrator.
Bizarre though the idea of such infallibility might seem today, the concept was widespread in the ancient world. England was a Christian kingdom founded on the early Israelite tradition of anointed kingship. It should be no surprise that a monarch such as Charles I would do away with any obstacle to his rule, including a testy government he thought more nuisance than useful. The king’s divine right to rule was taken very seriously. Only a body with such certainty of religious conviction as the Puritans possessed could be confident of challenging such authority. However our kings and queens have viewed their role, their attitudes to the monarchy have varied enormously – some, such as Henry VI and George VI, have even wished they had no such blessing.
It is the curious and the unusual in these royal lives that come into focus in this book, from the eccentric domestic routines of George II to young Eadwig caught by St Dunstan in a ménage a trois; or Queen Anne’s bearing of 17 children none of whom would survive to inherit her crown. The scope of the book is not to produce a series of potted biographies, dwelling on the well read. Some extraordinary facts might be familiar to us but are worth the re-telling because they are just that. Sometimes figures such as William and Mary we might feel are familiar to us, yet other, lesser-known facts about them can be learnt that cast these players in quite a different light.
In the case of this double act, for instance, is it known that Mary dreaded marrying her Dutch cousin and wept with sorrow on their wedding day? Questions and unsolved mysteries still abound, despite the best investigations of historians who will disagree, and simply admit to not knowing what precisely motivated some actions. The jury is still out on Richard III, for example. What was going through his mind when he decided, fatefully, to take those two princes captive and execute them. And why was Elizabeth I so envious of her imprisoned sister Mary Queen of Scots?
Every king and queen of England is included, except for the young Prince in the Tower, whose interest is related in the entry on Richard III. Some Scottish monarchs have been selected, and I apologise that space has not allowed more. There is also an admixture of mythical kings and queens – the likes of Trojan Brutus and King Lear – who I feel hold a place in our culture, representing as they do the earliest traditions of sovereignty in Britain.
Malcolm Day, December 2010
Refugee from Ancient Israel?
How the Trojan Brutus may have been Britain’s first Jew
The man credited with founding the ancient nation of Britons is by tradition descended from the Trojans. According to popular legend, the great grandson of Aeneas (refugee from Troy and founder of Italy) wandered westwards through western Europe and sailed up the River Dart to Totnes. From here Brutus led his band of cohorts to conquer the island by defeating the native Albion giants led by Gogmagog.
If we look at the ancestral lineage of Brutus, there are interesting parallels to be made. As grandson of Aeneas he would have been descended from Dardanus, the founder of Troy. Now some traditions claim that Dardanus is a linguistic alternative to Dara or Darda, mentioned in the Bible in I Chronicles 2:6 as the grandson of Judah, founder of one of the twelve tribes of Israel. Therefore Brutus may have a biblical pedigree and kinship with the Chosen People.
It is thought that the Ten Lost Tribes of the northern kingdom of Israel may have followed in the wake of Brutus and made their way to Britain where they settled. A scriptural clue to this migration is given in the apocryphal II Esdras (chapter 13: 40-47), which says they ‘go forth into a further country … there was a great way to go, namely, of a year and a half: and the same region is called Arzareth.’ British-Israelites say that Arzareth, though literally meaning ‘another land’, actually refers to a land in southern Russia north of the Black Sea, to be identified with Cimmeria. In turn, this name developed into ‘Cymry’, the name for the Welsh people. So Brutus and his tribesmen were the forebears of the Celts of Wales and southern England.
Indeed, British-Israelites claim that all the ancestral natives of Britain are of Israelite origin. The idea, based on the prophecy of Ezekiel, that all the dispersed elements of Israel would one day be reunited in a single nation in the Promised Land took hold in Britain on the grounds of this belief. And to some extent a lobby for its cause forced the momentum towards the formation of the British Mandate for Palestine in 1920.
Bladud
Legendary Celtic founder of Bath with Athenian arts
When Bath became the most fashionable city in Georgian England, the sensation at the heart of its appeal was its miraculous spring water. A vast amount of water gushed out every day and was somehow heated to a temperature of 49°C (120°F). Not only was it a pleasant and sociable recreation to wade about in such an element, these waters had a reputation from ancient times of possessing a curative quality.
Legend has it that a ninth-century BC Celtic pretender to the throne, Bladud, was responsible for discovering these special springs when caring for a herd of pigs. He noticed those that wallowed in the mud there seemed to develop healthier skin. Famously, on having a go himself Bladud discovered that he too lost the leprosy that had bedevilled his skin and hitherto disqualified him from inheriting the throne as descendant of King Brutus. This much is known.
Certain conjecture, however, has it that the fantastic heat and minerality generated from the earth was in fact the product of Bladud’s own scientific experimentation. It is documented that as a bright youth he was sent to Athens to learn at the feet of Greek philosophers. He is said to have acquired advanced scientific knowledge there and returned to Britain with four scholars and founded a university at Stamford in Lincolnshire.
With his new skill Bladud is believed to have created two huge ‘tuns’ (barrels with a capacity of 252 gallons), filled with burning brass, and two more containing salt, brimstone and fire. These four tuns he buried in the ground and they provided the source of the magical effluent of Bath.
Not surprisingly, the waters were regarded as poisonous and certainly not to be drunk. Only a craze such as was likely to happen in the heyday of Georgian society could induce the gullible to ‘take the waters’, as they did in their droves, and then take to their beds!
Liberated from the curse of leprosy, Bladud was able to claim his rightful crown as king. He is said to have ruled for 20 years before dying in a flying accident, hence his depiction sometimes with wings. Bladud was succeeded by King Lear.
Tragic Loss Regained
The alternative account to Shakespeare on King Lear
The premature death of King Bladud from a flying accident left the throne to his young son, Leir. Made famous by William Shakespeare as King Lear, he ruled for near on 60 years according to Geoffrey of Monmouth, who places the British king in parallel time to the prophet Elijah of Ancient Israel.
The story told by Shakespeare is well known but it differs from the legendary account in its ending. As in the play, Leir has no son for an heir. The problem of dividing his kingdom equally among his three daughters and his test of their love, which unjustly excludes his favourite youngest daughter, Cordelia, i
s common to both accounts.
But the realisation of his misjudgement and reconciliation with Cordelia, who nurses her half-crazed father back to health, leads Leir to form a successful alliance with the king of Gaul, Aganippus. Together, they invade Britain and, unlike Shakespeare’s version, overthrow the dukes of Albany and Cornwall who have married his two other daughters respectively. Leir reclaims the British throne and rules for three more years until his natural death. He is succeeded to the throne by Cordelia. So Monmouth’s version has no tragic ending with a distraught Lear holding the dead body of Cordelia who has committed suicide.
Who Made Britain’s First Laws?
Our bard says it was King Mulmutius
Centuries before the Romans arrived and imposed their judicial system on Britain, the land seldom had any real sense of political unity. Kingdoms came and went, most claiming descendency from the first British king, Brutus. And when King Lear’s squabbling offspring contrived their own demise, early Celtic society was once again plunged into chaos. The poor and the weak fell to the mercy of their overlords as tribal chieftains warred constantly for supremacy. Now Tudor historians claim there was one monarch among this unruly ancient rabble who broke the mould.
On vanquishing his enemies in the fifth century BC, a great Celtic warrior king, by the name of Dunvallo Molmutius, determined not only to reunite the broken nation but to give his subjects a measure of protection against ruthless power moguls. To signify this new kind of sovereignty the king had a new golden crown made and instituted a canon of rights which in some ways anticipates Magna Carta of medieval times.
This extraordinarily enlightened monarch so impressed William Shakespeare that he figured on the lips of King Cymbeline in his play of the same name:
Mulmutius made our laws,
Who was the first of Britain which did put
His brows within a golden crown, and call’d